Devil 63: Changes

Ally's Pov

I can't hear. I can't see. I can't taste. I can't smell. And I can't feel anything I touch.

Right now, I'm just an ordinary girl. Too ordinary that I can't even compare with any ordinary humans.

All I can see was darkness.

Pitch black.

But I'm happy. I'm happy that I'm just an ordinary and fragile girl who needs a protector.

Napangiti ako saka inalala ang mga sinabi ni Natsu.

"You know what? Pakiramdam ko, ikaw talaga si Allyna. Yung totoong Allyna bago ka magkaroon ng bead. You're such a good talker love."

"Really? You think this is the real me?"

"Yes. This is the real you. I can tell that by your looks that before everything bad happened to you. You're just a simple and sweet girl to your dad and mom. Shy type and very kind."

"You think so?"

"Uhuh! Sa itsura mo ngayon walang makakapagsabi na makakaya mong magbuhat ng upuan. Uh! You're looks can be very deceiving you know that?"

"So you're saying that I'm just a weakling and can be bully by anyone?"

"What? Who the hell would like to bully you? I'll smash them and kick their ass. Nobody have the right to bully my girl."

Natawa ako sa alaalang iyon. Kanina lamang iyon nangyari ngunit pakiramdam ko ay matagal na kaming nag-uusap ng ganun. Na para bang matagal ko na syang nakakasama at nakakausap na parang walang ibang pinoproblema kundi ang aming mga sarili.

Natsu...My Natsu...My Love..

Bahagya akong natigilan. My love?

"I love you love."

"Wait...when did you start to call me love?"

"Well, I don't know. It just... I think, It just comes in my mouth naturally."

"Something wrong? Ayaw mo ba na tinatawag kitang love? Well, I think..Okay din naman sya. Pero kung ayaw mo-!"

"No, it's fine. I was just thinking that it's kinda sweet and caring."

Napabuntong hininga ako saka napaisip.

Is it really okay to call him 'love'?

That was what I call the man in my memory. The man whom I used to love so much. The man whom I sacrifies myself to save him.

Was it how much I loved him back then?

Napabuntong hininga ako. Hindi ko parin alam kung sino ba talaga si Jack Ryder sa buhay ko. At natatakot ako na baka dumating ang panahon na kapag natagpuan ko na sya ay bumalik ang lahat ng alaala ko.

What if mahal ko pala talaga sya? What if ganun pala talaga kalaki ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya para isakripisyo ko ang sarili ko alang alang sa kanya.

Kung mangyayari iyon..

What about Natsu?

Napayuko ako at kahit wala akong nakikita ay mariin kong ipinikit ang aking mga mata.

What will happen to us? Right now, I love him. I love Natsu that I can sacrifies myself to protect him.

But what if Jack return?

What will happen to Natsu and me?

Will I...

Do I have to make a choice?

But who will I choose?

Jack Ryder in my memory?

Or

Ezequil Zeroin Montero that I love right now?

Sa isiping iyon ay parang pinipiga ang puso ko.

Alam kong mahal ko si Natsu. I will die for him if necessary.

Pero sa tuwing naaalala ko ang munting alaalang iyon ay nasasaktan ako. Pakiramdam ko nagtataksil ako sa taong tunay kong mahal.

Bahagya akong natawa ng pagak.

Is this the real love?

Ganito ba ang pakiramdam ng nagmamahal?

Ganito ba ang tunay na kahulugan ng pag-ibig na sinasabi nila?

Ilang sandali ko palang nararamdaman ang pagiging tao ko. Mukhang nanaisin ko na lamang na bumalik sa dati. Yung walang nararamdaman na kahit ano.

Dahil kung ganito pala ang tunay na pag-ibig. Na kailangan ko pang pumili at saktan ang isa para lang maging masaya ay di ko nalang nanaisin pa na makaramdam muli.

Tok tok tok..

Natigilan ako nang marinig ang munting katok sa pinto ng kwarto ko.

Napamulat ako at takang napatingin sa pinto.

Bumaba ako ng kama at binuksan ito.

"Ey Jack, aren't you going to eat? Kakain na. Pinagluto kana ni Tanda kahit pa hindi nya naperfect ng recipe mo." Ani Andy.

Napatango tango lang ako.

"Tutal hindi mo naman daw malalasan ang-! Wait...what the..." Nanlalaki ang mga matang napatitig siya sakin.

"What?" Takang tanong ko sa kanya. Sa itsura nya kasi ay mukhang nakakita siya ng multo.

"Y-your e-eyes..!" Bulalas niya.

Wala sa sariling hinaplos ko ang aking mga mata.

What's wrong with her?

"Jack, c-can you see me? Can you hear me?" Tarantang tanong niya.

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya.

What? What's wrong with that?

"Of course I can see and hear you. What's wrong with you Andy? You're weird" Takang tanong ko.

Natulala siya at hinawakan ang braso ko saka pinisil ng malakas.

"Ouch! Andy!" Asik ko sa kanya.

"Oh My God!!! You're the who's weird!" Bulalas niya.

Nalilitong napatingin ako sa kanya ngunit agad din akong natigilan nang marealized kung bakit sya nagkakaganun.

Mabilis kong tinungo ang salamin at tiningnan ang aking repleksyon.

My eyes were hazel brown, my hair is still dark. I have a rosy cheeks and reddish lips.

What?

What's happening?? I'm not wearing my bead not even my gadgets but how did I...??

This is imposible!!

Hindi ako makapaniwala. Nakakakita ako at nakakarinig. Nagagawa ko ring hawakan ang sarili ko at nararamdaman ko iyon.

Pero bakit? Ano ang ibig sabihin nito??

Magkahalong kaba at saya ang nararamdaman ko.

Am I....Am I becoming normal again? Even without my bead??? Is this possible?

Nakaramdam ako ng galak at saya habang hindi makapaniwalang hinahaplos ang katawan at mukha ko.

"What happened here?!" Humahangos na bungad ni Tanda. Marahil ay tinawag siya ni Andy.

Jichell was still not here. She's with Sean and we left without her.

Napatingin ako kay Tanda.

"Tell me James, what's happening to me? Why am I....why am I becoming normal without my bead?" Magkahalong saya at pagkalitong tanong ko.

Natigilan si Tanda at lumapit sakin.

"Really? Y-you can hear me and see me without any gadgets on you?" Aniyang di makapaniwala.

"Yeah. I'm not wearing anything. But why...why did I feel normal? Am I becoming normal and human again?" Excited na tanong ko.

He frozed.

Why do I have a feeling that he's not happy about it? What's the meaning of my changes??

"Uhh...I...I will call Dr. Snyder about this." Aniyang di makatingin saka akmang aalis ngunit muli siyang tumingin sakin at nagulat pa ako nang bigla niya akong yakapin.

"I'm happy for you Jack. I'm happy for you!" Aniya at teary eyed na bahagyang pinisil ang pisngi ko.

Hindi ako nakareact sa ginawa niya.

"Okay, Uhh...tatawagan ko lang si Dr. Snyder. For now...just stay like this. And...don't wear your bead for the meantime. Okay?" Aniya.

Wala sa sariling napatango nalang ako kahit puno ako ng pagtataka.

Bumaling siya kay Andy.

"Take her to the clinic. Stay there until I call you. And don't call anyone for now." Aniya at lumabas na ng kwarto ko.

Takang napatingin naman sakin si Andy.

Ngunit sandali lang at masaya siyang yumakap sakin.

"I'm so happy for you Jack. Oh God! I'm so happy!!" Aniya at nagtatalon pa.

Natawa ako at niyakap rin siya.

I don't know what's happening but I don't care about what will happen as long as I'm becoming normal again.

I can be normal again.

Natigilan ako nang maalala si Natsu.

Kumalas ako kay Andy.

"I need to call Natsu." Saad ko at hinanap ang phone ko since I can't contact him without it not like when I have a bead.

"Wait. Tanda said not to call anyone. Let's wait him at the clinic tapos saka natin tawagan si Zero kapag alam na natin ang ibig sabihin ng pagbabago mo. Okay?" Aniya.

Bahagya akong natigilan.

She have a point. If it's changes means disaster. I will never bother Natsu to know about this.

Napabuntong hininga ako saka napatango.

"Okay." Sagot ko saka bahagyang napatingin sa aking bead na nasa maliit na tube glass na puno ng yelo.

Dumiretso kami sa clinic sa labas at hinintay si James. He headed to the lab kanina upang kausapin si Dr. Snyder.

Wait...I never call him Dr. Snyder. Just Simon.

Ngunit sa mga sandaling iyon ay parang nakakaramdam ako ng walang paggalang kung tatawagin ko sya sa first name nya gayung halos ama ko na rin sya.

At ngayon ko lang narealized kung gaano ako kabastos sa mga taong laging nandyan upang alagaan at gamutin ako.

Bakit parang ngayon ko lamang narereliazed ang lahat? Na para bang...

Ngayon ko lamang nalaman kung anong ugali meron ako.

Inalala ko ang lahat ng mga nangyari simula nung lumabas ako sa underground lab.

Ang pagtrato ko kina James at Andy maging kay Dr. Snyder.

I was really a devil back then. Is it because of my bead? Is it because I have a wargon?

Napatingin ako kay Andy na masayang nagkukwento sa tabi ko. Kanina pa sya nagsasalita at nagsasabi ng mga magiging plano namin kapag nagtuloy tuloy na ang pagiging normal ko ngunit wala akong naintindihan kahit isa man dito.

Nagulat siya nang bigla ko siyang yakapin.

"I'm sorry for everything, Andy." Saad ko at hindi ko alam kung bakit ngunit napaiyak ako.

Pakiramdam ko ay isa akong mahinang babae at sensitive.

Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang lahat ng mga dapat kong maramdaman noon.

"J-jack..are you alright?" Takang tanong naman ni Andy. Kumalas ako sa kanya at lalo siyang nataranta nang makita akong umiiyak.

"I...I'm sorry for everything. I realized how rude and shameless I am with you and James. I'm sorry." Saad ko kasabay ng mga luha ko.

Nanubig naman ang mga mata ni Andy at muli akong niyakap.

"Aaww..Jack, ikaw ba talaga yan? Bakit parang ang sweet sweet mo ngayon. Pakiramdam ko pwede na kitang ibully ngayon. Haha." Aniyang tumatawa habang umiiyak.

Natawa ako sa sinabi nya ngunit nanatili kaming magkayakap.

Halos dalawang oras pa kaming naghintay kay James bago siya dumating.

Naabutan niya kaming naglalaro ng e-game ni Andy na hindi ko alam na masaya palang laruin. We even did those simple things that I never thought I would enjoy to do.

"Tanda!" Masayang bulalas ni Andy at masayang sinalubong si James.

"What are you two doing?" Bakas ang pagtatakang tanong niya.

"Well, guess what? Our new Jack has really a big changes. Magugulat ka sa mga katangian nya. My God! I really think that this is the first time she was born!" Masayang balita ni Andy.

Napangiti naman akong lumapit sa kanila.

Napatingin sakin si James ngunit tulad kanina at halata ang pagkabalisa niya. Mukha siyang masaya na malungkot pero mas lamang ang takot sa mga mata niya.

Now that I don't wear my bead I can't read his reactions.

But I know somethings bothering him.

"Well, that's good!" Aniya na pilit na ngumiti.

"Uy Tanda. May problema ba? Anong sabi ni Dad?" Takang tanong din ni Andy.

"Shaney, Dr. Snyder said that.." Napatingin sakin si James bago muling bumaling kay Andy.

"...we need to take Jack to Spain. For further analysis of her condition." Aniya.

Napatda kami ni Andy sa sinabi niya.

"Why all of a sudden?" Takang tanong ko.

"Well, its because...it's also a sudden that you became normal. I scanned your vitals and your too normal. I mean...maybe there's some consequences about this."

He has a point but why in Spain?

"Can't you run a test on me? Why do we have to go to Spain?" Tanong ko.

"I'm sorry Jack. I don't think I can do that. Only Dr. Snyder can. He's in the Spain right now. We all need to take you there for some days and we'll get back here as soon as he run a test on you." Aniya.

"But..." I want to protest subalit sa pagkakataong ito, pakiramdam ko ay wala akong magagawa sa anumang maging desisyon nila.

Wala akong lakas ng loob na magprotesta.

"What about Natsu? I need to inform him. He'll worry about me." I said.

Natigilan si James at nakagat ang gilid ng labi saka tumalikod samin.

Something's wrong! He only did that when something's bothering him or he's guilty of something.

"What's happening James? You know something aren't you?" Nag-aalala nang tanong ko.

Balisa siyang napatingin sakin.

"Tanda...are you okay? What happened? What did Dad told you?" Ani Andy na nagdududa narin.

"Jack...I...I'm sorry but I just did this to save you." Aniyang nanubig ang mga mata.

Bumangon ang kaba sa dibdib ko sa di ko malamang dahilan.

Alam kong may mali ngunit hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari.

"What do you mean?" Kinakabahang tanong ko.

Napabuga ng hangin si James at waring walang balak na magsabi.

"Tanda ano ba!" Galit na sigaw ni Andy.

"I can't say it!" Ganting sigaw rin niya sa kapatid.

"What do you mean you can't say it? What the hell's happening with Jack's condition?" Ani Andy.

Hindi sumagot si James bagkus ay tinalikuran kami.

"Tanda!" Sigaw ni Andy.

"I have to take Jack to Spain. I need to do it for her safety and for the sake of everyone. Dr. Snyder will cure her and maintain her state of being normal. She can have a normal life now." Aniya samin saka akmang aalis na nang biglang dumating si Jichell.

Hingal na hingal ito at waring may masamang balita.

Agad itong sinalubong ni James. Naiwan kami ni Andy sa clinic habang nag-uusap ang dalawa malapit sa gate. I can't hear what they're talking about.

"What do you mean by that?!" Sigaw ni Jichell at napatingin sakin.

"This is all what we need to do!" Asik ni James kay Jichell.

Waring natulala naman si Jichell at napatingin sakin.

What happened to her?

Hindi na ako nakatiis at nilapitan sila.

"Jichell, what happened?" Tanong ko.

Tumingin siya sakin at waring may gustong sabihin ngunit tiim bagang na napayuko nalang siya.

"Nothing Unnie. I just... I just encountered a shadow hunter along the way here but don't worry. I defeated it." Aniya.

"We have to go now. We'll leave tonight." Ani James at pumasok na sa bahay.

Naiwan kaming natitigilan.

I feel confused and weak. I can't understand what's happening. But I can't do anything about it either.

"Unnie...I..." Ani Jichell. She hesitated at balisa.

Like James.

"..I...I'm sorry. I wanted you to be safe too so I'm sorry." Aniya na malungkot.

"What are you talking about bitchy?" Inis na tanong ni Andy sa kanya.

"You'll know when we arrived at Spain Unnie. Let's go. Oppa was right. It's for the sake of everyone." Aniya at iniwan kami.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Andy.

"Nalilito at naguguluhan ako, pero kung para talaga sa kaligtasan mo ang lahat. I think we need to obey them." Aniya saka hinawakan ako sa braso at iginiya papasok sa bahay.

It was midnight and we're about to leave now.

But I don't really feel happy about it. I know it's just for my sake but I'm not sure about it.

I don't understand why I have a feeling that everything wasn't right.

James took my bead earlier so he could carry it.

I tried to call Natsu but he's not answering his phone. Maybe he's sleeping.

I'm not sure if how many days I'll spent in Spain and I'm sure that I will miss him.

Ngayon palang ay namimis ko na sya.

I grab my phone and texted him.

Natsu, I have something to do. I'll leave the country for a while. Wait for me. I love you, Love.

Napabuntong hininga ako saka lumabas ng kwarto ko. Nasa kalagitnaan na ako ng hagdan nang marinig ko ang pagtatalo ng tatlo sa kusina.

"What the hell...what did you guys do? Do you even know what will happen to you if she knows about it?" Naiiyak na boses ni Andy.

What's happening??

I guess James and Jichell told her what's bothering with them.

"We have no choice Shaney. Do you think I didn't try to contact the Montero family once I knew about what happened? But it's too late. He's dead on arrival. And Jack can't revive him even she rush to him." Boses ni James.

Dugdugdugdugdugdugdugdugdugdugdug...

Natulala ako at parang may kung anong bagay ang tumakbo sa puso ko sa lakas ng tibok nito.

Who's dead?

Nanginginig ang tuhod ko na nagpatuloy sa pagbaba ng hagdan.

"So you choose to hide it from her? Tanda! Don't you think she'll spare your life?" Umiiyak na asik ni Andy habang pilit na hinihinaan ang boses.

Sunod sunod na tumulo ang luha ko nang makababa ako ng hagdan.

Hindi pa man nila sinasabi ang pangalan ng taong iyon ay malakas ang kutob ko na kilala ko na kung sino ito.

Napatingin ako sa cellphone ko.

Napatitig ako sa textmessage ko kay Natsu.

Unread.

Hindi nya pa nababasa ang mensahe ko.

Maybe he's asleep. It's midnight. Kaya baka natutulog na sya kaya di nya pa nababasa ang message ko.

Ngunit kahit anong pilit ko na pakalmahin ang sarili ko ay di ko parin napigilang mapaupo sa unang baitang ng hagdan at lumuha.

I felt useless. Now that I'm just a normal person I can't do anything for him.

Natsu.. Natsu...

"I love you Love."

Natsu..Natsu..

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