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Chapter 24: What has sunk, shall rise again (part 7)

"Sadly enough, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained."

― Jonathan Harnisch

. . .

For many years, I've seen my fair share of blood and gore. It was well within my line of work of course so I couldn't really avoid it even if I wanted to–so the sight of blood and corpses didn't unnerve me as much as it did.

But looking down, almost unseeingly, at the still-body of the only person I have somehow allowed myself to love, the person I was about to share my life... I was confused, so confused, like I was drowning with too many things all at once that I couldn't pick them apart, to take a moment to process just what the actual hell is happening.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing even though I am literally looking and seeing this with own two eyes. Maybe I was in shock... because I felt numb, so, so numb, like I was watching and taking it all in from afar as some sort of distant spectator.