chapter 25

**Tiana**

The possibility of Lucian wanting all he mentioned from his mate was absolute zero. Should I exaggerate the zero? It was 0-0÷0= -0. What is minus zero? I mean nothing, it was absolutely empty. The last time I checked, he bashed his mate's head against a sink after giving her front roll seat to emotional torture. Why couldn't the moon goddess make me Lyle's mate, why? What is my crime? What wrong did I commit that she has to punish me by dashing the devil to me as bonus on top of my grief. Will he ever cuddle me? Will he ever bring me breakfast in bed?... Wait, what's breakfast in bed?

'Lyle, what's breakfast in bed?'

'Oh, forgot you came from an isolated and uncivilised island.'

'Don't include me, mother made me read a lot so I know a lot, just not everything.' I defended.

'Okay, breakfast in bed is having breakfast in your bed. It's more of a romantic act.'

'So the woman stays in bed while the man brings her breakfast?' I asked curiously.

'No, the man or woman brings it to his or her spouse and wake them up.'

'Oh, that's stupid, don't they have legs?' Lyle laughed and shook his head.

'I pray you get there Lucian, so you will know how being pampered feel like,' it was my own turn to laugh. We were already in the woods. I wiggled until he dropped me down as I laughed. I held a tree, laughing at his fascinating statement. Lyle, the idiot started laughing with me. He had no idea why I was laughing, but he sure did laugh well. 'Why are you laughing?' He asked between his laugh. I sniffed and pinched my nose.

'Pampered? By who? Trust me, even if I am to meet my soulmate, he would rather grind his eyes, mix it with water, boil the water and then throw it in the ocean. He would choose that over pampering me, showing me love.' I mimicking derisively.

'Even humans show much affection tiana,' he said seriously. 'You show love to those you love.'

'As far as I know, you kill the family of the ones you love, let them become a bloody punching bag, give them VIP tickets to "sex in the tub and bed with another woman," whip them against a fucking sink and leave them to bleed to death!' I yelled angrily, my tears betrayed me, slipped out. 'Love is sick, but you wanna know what's worse, having a mate.' I spat out with so much contempt. He chuckled and ran his hand through his hair.

'lucian is your mate, isn't it?' I looked away, unable to deny the truth. 'I suspected it the way he reacted back at the dinner yesterday, then the next thing I know, his wolf was howling all-night and you are calling him by his name. Except for me, who else do you know calls him by his name? Even if they are free with him?' He asked knowingly.

'Do you want me to give you an award for being smart?' I asked jokingly, I couldn't even feel it. I sighed sadly. 'I just don't like the irony of the situation; my father kills his family, he kills mine and viola! We are mates.'

'Yes, that is pretty complicated,' he chuckled. 'Come,' he took my hand and led me to a rock. Carlyle sat on the rock before pulling me to sit on his lap. I shifted closer to him, letting my hands wander into his hair. 'I know lucian isn't the best there is, in fact he is not the best at all but, he is a good man. I don't know how I would feel if I should be mated to the daughter of the man that have caused me so much pain...'

'He didn't watch my father kill his family, I did. I never hurt your kind or others once, yet I got to watch my mate heartlessly rip out my mother's throat and father's head. I suffered Lyle and I have the scars on my body to prove it. Have you ever been starved for a month? Gone blind, deaf, whipped, drank sewer water... Lucian made me watch as he exchanged flesh with another she-wolf...'

'Ouch,'

'I know,' I sobbed. 'You see why I am so bitter? Yet I still hoped he would look over our family issues, that we are even and care for me, love me. Instead, I get this. Nothing in this life hurt me more than when he made me watch them, made me see my so called soulmate having sex with another woman and then almost killed me. I want to make him jealous, so jealous he will feel as much pain as I felt... I want to reject him.'

'Rejecting him would break him and also break you, I hope you are aware of that?' I took a deep breath. I caught a wheeze of lucian's scent, he was coming.

'I am,' Lyle hadn't seem to sense it as he was lost in his own well of thoughts. I closed my eyes and listened, waiting for the right time to do what my mind was urging me to do. Immediately I felt him closer, I turned Lyle's face towards me and crashed my lips on his, pressing his head so he won't pull back. Carlyle emotional state made him respond back, he growled and pulled me closer to his chest, sliding his tongue into my mouth.

It wasn't my first kiss, back in the village, a young warrior named Cochise had cornered me when I was thirteen and kissed me. If I wasn't trained, he would have forced himself on me. I killed him, he was the first person I killed. Next was Bidzill, I broke his arms. The only man I did kiss back for few seconds was Kele, my old friend. He was in love with me and sick. His last wish was to share a kiss with me before he died, I had to do it. He died after kissing me.