81. Chapter 81

The next morning Julieta swallowed as she was working on today's breakfast.

On the clock. Bruno joined her. He was nothing if not punctual. This morning however was clearly not a good morning.

Julieta could not say she was surprised though. That prior evening had been rough on all of them. Most of all Bruno. Julieta was just happy he got out of bed by himself.

Though now he was standing there looking hunched and bleary eyed, his hair looking somehow messier than usual and Bruno went straight for the coffee. Making his usual cup with sugar and heavy cream.

"How are you feeling?" Julieta asked quietly.

"Hmmm. Tired." Bruno groaned rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Julieta nodded. "Did you sleep all right?"

"Like a rock," Bruno said. "And yet it doesn't feel like I slept at all." he yawned again and rubbed his eyes. "Is it possible to have a hangover even though you didn't even drink?"

Julieta smiled amused. Then her smile faltered. "I'm… Really glad you talked to us yesterday." She whispered and Bruno looked down. Then slowly lifted his cup to his lips. "Thank you," she added and Bruno glanced up.

Then he glanced away.

"And it sounds like… You were looking more out for the kids than we were." Julieta squinted her eyes. "I feel awful about that. My children were all hurting and I didn't even notice."

Bruno sighed deeply. "You know how it is," he said. "When you are a small child. All you want is for your parent to be proud of you. We were all like that too…. Always trying to prove ourselves even if we didn't need to. Your kids just take after you that's all."

Julieta sighed. "I really wish I had been better at listening to you," she said. Then Julieta stepped forward and then leaned right into Bruno and she squinted her eyes.

"Juli." Bruno breathed then slowly. Snuck an arm around her and held her.

"I missed you so much." Julieta gasped.

Bruno swallowed.

"Don't you remember?" Julieta asked. "When we grew up… We had no father and Mama was always so busy and always had to be strong. So all we had was each other… But it was okay because we did have each other. And you were there. You sat with me when I had a nightmare. You helped me learn how to read. You told me to just hang in there when I burned the food! And even ate a piece just to prove to me I did all right." then she smirked. "Even though it was kind of just a piece of coal at that point."

Bruno smirked. "I'll never forget the taste."

"I can't believe you actually ate a bite." Julieta chuckled amused and Bruno chuckled as well as Julieta looked at him and whispered.

"You were the one there… You and Pepa. You're my brother and my best friend. You're not… You're not a burden."

Bruno nodded though a lump was stuck in his throat.

"And we should never have asked you to have visions when you didn't want to," Julieta said as she stood back up removing herself slightly. "Or give people the idea that they were entitled to it."

Now Bruno could only squint his eyes.

"And you protected my daughter. Heck, you protected all three of them. Oh, Hermano." Julieta whispered. "You've done more than your fair share." she gently touched his arm. "I hope one day you realize that."

Bruno offered Julieta a weak smile. "Maybe," he said then gave her a small hug back. "Sorry. Just gonna sit down right now." his hand was shaking again and Julieta nodded allowing Bruno to sit down so he could knock under the table and concentrate on his breath. Clearly, her dear brother was just beyond overwhelmed right now.

And he groaned deeply as he sipped his coffee just as Mirabel arrived. As always the second one so she could set the table. "Rough night huh Tio?" she commented reaching for the plates.

Bruno nodded his head absentmindedly.

"By the way. We have been meaning to ask you." Mirabel said. "Is it okay if we leather bind your books?"

Bruno blinked as he looked up. "What?" she asked.

"We checked if that's even possible. And it is!" Mirabel beamed. "Giving the books a spine and a leather cover!"

Bruno blinked. "Books?" he asked.

Mirabel laughed. "You wrote a ton of books and you didn't even notice." she chuckled amused.

"Oh…. Huh." Bruno blinked. "I guess I did do that. I never thought about it that way. It was just… Had no actual TV, had no radio. Had no books so…. What else was I supposed to do? It was just a way to pass time."

"Don't say it like that." Mirabel pouted. "Any idiot can see you took great care in writing carefully! You have surprisingly neat handwriting. I thought yours would be messy." she chuckled. "Mine sure is."

"Bruno was always the one best at writing and reading." Julieta chuckled.

Mirabel smiled amused then glanced down. "Are you feeling okay Tio?" she asked sincerely. "That was… Quite the evening yesterday."

Bruno nodded. "I just feel… spend," he said.

"Not up for many games today. Got it." Mirabel just cheered as she headed towards the mess hall with the plates.

Bruno smiled lightly as he looked after her. "You got an extraordinary daughter you know," he commented to Julieta. "I mean they all are. But that one is truly special."

Julieta smiled amused. "She is." she agreed. "She really helped us get through this entire thing and… Focus on the correct things."

Bruno nodded as he sipped his cup again. He could only agree. Things probably wouldn't be this good without Mirabel. It really was quite something.

As the day went on Bruno continued having a pretty muffled headspace, and everybody just accepted it.

Pepa was keeping a close eye on him too. Like she had done in his first month back, and sometimes would when he had bad days.

When Bruno took his afternoon nap he wasn't really too surprised to wake up with Pepa wrapped up next to him.

She did that when she was nervous these days. He felt better as dinner arrived though, and ate with a real hunger asking for seconds.

Then evening came and Alma hesitated, then approached Bruno. "How are you feeling Mijo?" she asked.

"Pretty good." Bruno nodded. "Just tired."

Slowly Alma sat down. Then put her hands in her lap. There was a rather awkward silence.

Finally, Bruno realized what was happening. He had been carrying around with a big festering wound and now it had been torn open.

It needed to be torn open so all the gunk and pus could come out. But it still meant that the wound was fresh and open and it was exhausting… It hurt.

Alma looked at Bruno. She looked tired too… Exhausted. There was worry edged in her features and strange insecurity.

"Hijo…" Alma hesitated. "I… I wanted you to know that. I truly am sorry." she said.

Bruno glanced down.

"I knew things weren't right. I knew you were hurting and I wanted to help." Alma said. "But I never knew how to and… I never tried to understand. I just thought that… As long as we kept things orderly. Clean… Functional. It would sort itself out. But I was wrong. It should never have been ignored. And I should have talked to you. Listened… And I should have stood up for you."

Bruno shook his head. "You carried the entire Encanto on your shoulders," he said. "People looked to you when they were scared. You brought them a sense of security… Of normalcy."

"But at what cost?" Alma asked sadly. "It isn't worth…. Your well being."

"Not everything you did was wrong Mama," Bruno said. "You taught me discipline! You taught me a routine. And made sure that we had a routine. Even when I couldn't think in my darkest days. I knew where I was supposed to be! And I knew what I was supposed to do." he said. "You held the family together with all of your might even when it was hard." he put his hands together.

Alma's eyes watered.

"You sat by my bedside when I was sick," Bruno whispered. "And mended my clothes when it was ripped. You made sure we always had food and a roof over our heads. That we could grow up and lack nothing. Even when the resources were few…. And when I cried because of a vision. The woman who had a miscarriage. You sat with me… You held me." Bruno whispered. "You held me for hours." he swallowed. "I never hated you, mama. I love you."

Alma sniffed, and she swallowed. Though it was quite hard.

"And I just hated… I hated letting you down." Bruno said. "I know you just wanted me to be my best self. You believed I could be more I just… I stopped believing it myself along the way. And I…" he closed his eyes. "I didn't want you to see what I had become… I'm sorry."

Alma had to wipe away a tear with her handkerchief. "You were carrying an inhuman burden. I see that now," she said. "A burden that would break most other people."

Bruno looked at Alma. Then glanced down.

"Hijo." Alma put a gentle finger under Bruno's chin and gently lifted it up so they were looking at each other again. "You're extraordinary."

Bruno swallowed. His eyes were now wet again. And he sniffed. "I wish I didn't always cry this much," he said. "I'm sorry. I can't even control my own body. It just… Reacts." he said.

"It's okay," Alma assured. "You've been grinded down bit by bit." she swallowed. "You're still healing."

Bruno nodded and remembered… a stone he had once left in the sand. It had been ragged and sharp when he left it there. Three years after he found it again and it had become smooth and round. The sand had just grinded away any edges and slowly turned even the stone to dust. Weakening it slowly… It was an apt comparison Bruno realized.

"We all have it seems." Alma sighed. "I was just… After you left." she swallowed. "Sometimes I dream at night. I already often saw Pedro in my dreams. Being killed by that sword… Or shot by a bullet. Or drowning but then… I started to see you in his place." she said and Bruno gasped. "And then the others. Julieta… Pepita." she swallowed. "Sometimes Dolores and sometimes Mirabel. It could be anyone of you… I didn't want to think about it when being awake. I didn't want to even think that you might be dead. So I pushed it away instead. To concentrate on the family and… Keeping things running. I could not allow it to happen again." she breathed. "But it was a mistake. I should have talked of you. And be honest with how I felt."

Bruno's eyes watered and then he got off his seat, only so he could sit on his knees in front of Alma and hold her hands.

"Maybe that's what my gift was for," Bruno whispered. "I could have told you that no… It's not going to happen." he looked up at her meeting Alma's eyes. "Yes. One time I saw the magic breaking but even so. Our family was to be safe. We may even be protected."

Alma swallowed, tears now gently falling down his face, and then Bruno stood up. Only so he could embrace Alma. And hug her tight.

And Alma hugged him back. Holding him tight.

"I love you, Mama," Bruno whispered and Alma nodded.

"I love you too Hijo." Alma gasped. "I love you so much."

Bruno nodded as he squinted his eyes. "I won't go away again," he promised. "I'll get better. Stronger. I'll even get fatter just like Julieta wants. And I'll be here okay?"

"I know you will," Alma whispered. "You are after all." she smiled as they let go and Bruno's face was now in front of her so Alma could hold a hand to it. "My son." she smiled. "You are definitely my son."

And Bruno smiled. "Can't deny that," he stated and Alma chuckled. Then they leaned their foreheads against each other. Smiling warmly.

Things were going to be okay.