Chapter 46: Mixed Feelings

The sun shone brighter than ever. It shined through the crowns of the trees which leaves were coloured in red, orange and yellow. The sky was bright blue and clear of any clouds. The weather was pleasantly warm. It was not too hot but not too cold either. The temperature was just perfect.

The twittering of the birds echoed through the air and was even hearable through the slightly opened window in Sylvanas' office. The curtains were not pulled together so Sylvanas was able to look out of the window and regard the beautiful landscape outside. She was nearly lying in her chair, her legs were stretched out and her back leaned against the backrest. Her hands rested on her belly, stroking it carefully as she stared out of the window.

Normally she would wear her Ranger-General uniform while she was in her office in the headquarters of the Farstrider Enclave in Silvermoon. But since she noticed she was pregnant, she couldn't wear it anymore because the people will notice that her belly wasn't flat anymore. It was slightly swollen and the people knew she wouldn't get weight no matter how much she would eat. They would find out quickly that she was pregnant which would cause that numerous rumours, about who the father of the child was, would come out of nowhere and would be spread by everyone.

Sylvanas didn't want to get more attention than she already had, nor did she want that people would annoy her by congratulating her and asking her who the father was. She didn't have the time for that. And not the nerves. She was already frustrated that she could no longer participate in the war. She could wear armour that would cover her entire belly but that wouldn't protect her from everything. The risk that she might get injured and lose her baby was too high. She would have taken the risk but Verena had talked to her for hours and convinced her that it was the best for her to stay in Silvermoon.

Sylvanas was still not happy about it but she knew Verena was right. She would never forgive herself if she would lose her child only because she wanted to participate in a battle or two. She may be the best ranger in Quel'Thalas but she was still a mortal after all. She was no godlike creature that was immune to everything and couldn't be hurt at all.

She could still get injured, bleed and die. She had to take care of herself but also of the life of the tiny creature in her belly. She had more responsibility than before. She was an expectant mother. She couldn't just join a battle even if she wanted to fight for her kingdom and for the Alliance.

She knew her rangers would fight differently when she wouldn't participate in the war. They wouldn't be as precise and deadly as they would be if she were around. Their morale and fighting spirit wouldn't be increased if she wouldn't be around but the Ranger-General was sure they would win the war without her aid.

All captains and lieutenants were strong and smart enough to deal with the enemies without her aid. Nevertheless, she wished she could join her army. But she had accepted she had to stay out of the war until the child's birth. She would stay in her office and do paperwork and other tasks. She could only hope the war will be over soon.

Sylvanas wore a blue coat which reached to her feet and allowed her to hide her belly beneath it. Nobody would find out that she was pregnant if she would wear coats all the time. For a while at least. The people will find out one day that she was pregnant. She was sure about that.

The coat was pretty comfortable, she had to admit that. It was so soft and light. It also prevented that someone could ogle her. It happened very often that the ones she talked to stared at her breasts or her exposed stomach. Men and women alike. That wouldn't happen as long as she would wear a coat like this one.

She opened her coat a little and lifted the shirt, she wore beneath it, a little. She regarded her slightly swollen stomach. She was only in her fourth month so it didn't look as if she had devoured a larger version of a soccer ball. Her baby bump was clearly visible but it was not that large yet. She could still hide it beneath her belly armour but then everyone would ask her why she would wear her armour in the halls of the Farstriders so she had decided to wear a coat instead.

She put her hand on her exposed belly, caressing it carefully. She wondered what Kelrian would say when she would tell him. She wondered if he would be happy or if he would be shocked. She hoped he would accept it and not storm off the room because everything would be too much for him. She was a bit worried about his reaction. She feared the worst even though she had no reason to. She had noticed that she felt insecure from time to time. She had never felt insecure before. It had started a week ago and she didn't know why she felt that way nor did she know what to do against it.

She assumed the hormones were responsible for that. They were driving her crazy from time to time. Sylvanas knew it was only natural during pregnancy but she didn't like it. She didn't like the condition she was in from time to time. She hated to feel insecure and uncomfortable. But there was nothing she could do about it. She had to endure it because she couldn't fight it.

She regarded her belly for a few more moments, then she pulled her neckline down a bit, putting her chin on her chest to look at her breasts. She wore a bra but she could still see the difference between her current breasts which had grown and her natural breasts.

She could also feel the difference. She cupped her breasts with her hands, kneading them softly. They felt different. Much larger and fuller. She assumed Kelrian would love them if he would ever see them. That could only happen if she would meet him and clear up things with him. She wanted to know the truth. The truth about what had happened between him and Elena.

She knew him so she didn't believe he had cheated on her. He was not such a person who would do that. She was sure about that. Normally, at least. Because of her hormones, she was no longer completely sure about that. She had to talk to him and let him explain everything.

Sylvanas stopped kneading her aching breasts and put her hands on her belly again. She was glad she didn't wear her armour anymore. Her waist circumference had been increased by four inches. Her armour was made for battle and hugged her form like a second skin. With the increased circumference, the armour had started to pinch her belly.

It was an unpleasant feeling and the increased size of her breasts didn't make it easier. Her custom-made chest guard also became too tight. It had still been bearable but she knew it would only get worse the more time would pass. It had been the right decision to return to Silvermoon because the too tight armour would have only disturbed her.

She could have expanded it but then everyone would have known that something was wrong. Not wrong but different. Rumours would have been spread shortly after she would have visited her favourite blacksmith.

Furthermore, she couldn't allow herself to get distracted by her armour. She had to be one hundred percent focused when she fought, otherwise, a too late reaction or a false step or decision could cost her life. And the life of her child.

Losing her child was the worst that could happen. She wanted to protect it by any means, so she had no other choice than staying in Silvermoon while the others would fight for Lordaeron. She knew their chance of victory would be much higher if she would fight with her rangers but she had to bite in the sour apple and stay in Silvermoon.

The increase of her waist circumference and the size of her breasts, her mood swings and the phases in which she felt very insecure were not the only symptoms she had noticed since she knew about her pregnancy. There were many other symptoms Sylvanas had noticed over the past months. Vomiting from time to time had started for her in the third month which had been much later than it had been for Alleria. Her sister had vomited for the first time after a few weeks, while Sylvanas vomited for the first time in the ninth week. Her breasts were aching because they grew, her belly was tingling. Headaches, fatigue and faintness happened from time to time.

Sometimes, she didn't feel in the mood to do anything. Sometimes she even turned up her nose at her favourite food. The worst of all that she was very horny every third or fourth day. It was unbearable most of the times. Her womanhood prickled whenever that happened and she started to think about certain persons. Most of the times, she imagined Kelrian's muscular nude body, his large manhood and his sexy ass. But sometimes, she even imagined Verena and the good memories about them making love.

It felt wrong but she didn't have control over her thoughts. She masturbated regularly but that was not enough to satisfy her sexual hunger. She wished Kelrian was here at this very moment. She may have not forgiven him yet but she needed to satisfy her lower needs. Normally, she could control herself and survive a long period without sex or masturbation. She had survived sixty years without sex but since the third month, she couldn't control her needs anymore.

She could no longer suppress them. But she had to. She wouldn't sleep with anyone who was not Kelrian. He was the only person she wanted to make love to. There was no other person she desired. Not Nathanos and not herself was the only way to satisfy her lower desires. Her only hope was that she would make up with Kelrian quickly but she wouldn't let her decisions and her behaviour be influenced by her lust. She had to remain calm and focused. She needed to have a serious talk with him and she knew it would be hard to control herself and not get distracted by the way her body behaved. It will be hard but it was feasible.

She still had the tiny pink toy in her lowest drawer which she had locked. The key was in a box on the other side of the room. She would only use it if she couldn't take it anymore, knowing it would remain in her for quite some time once she had inserted it. Sylvanas really hated her current condition. She had expected that her body would give her a hard time but she had never thought it would be that hard.

A loud sigh escaped her lips as she leaned back. She looked at the clock, noticing it was twelve o'clock. She knew that Kelrian would return to Silvermoon City that day and she knew Kael'thas would deliver him the envelope she had given him. She wondered when Kelrian would arrive in Silvermoon City and how long he would need to reach her office. She guessed he wouldn't arrive in Silvermoon before midday and he would need at least one hours to reach the headquarters because the streets were overcrowded.

Considering everything, she assumed she would have two hours left before he would arrive. That meant she had enough time to please her 'annoying' womanhood and do paperwork. She leaned forward and reached out for the second-lowest drawer and opened it. She pulled a certain tin out and unscrewed the lid. She brought it to her nose and sniffed at it. She loved the scent of coconut oil.

She took a few breaths, inhaling the lovely scent. She dipped the fingers of her right hand in it, making sure that enough lubricant gel stuck on them before she pulled on the waistband of her leggings. She pulled her leggings down until they only covered half of her upper thighs. Then she pulled on her green panties and sneaked her right hand beneath it.

She closed her eyes, tilted her head back and parted her lips as her fingers entered her already dripping wet womanhood. Her aroused southern lips parted easily, her inner walls tightened around the three fingers she had pushed inwards. She imagined Kelrian's sweat-covered naked body, his muscles and his aroused large manhood.

She imagined him putting her on the top of her desk, spreading her thighs and entering her without hesitation. She imagined him rhythmically moving his hips, pushing his manhood as deep as possible inside her. She wanted to imagine so many things he would to do her but she was not able to continue what she had started because loud knocks on her door brought her back to reality.

She cursed under her breath, pulled her fingers out of her womanhood and cleaned them with a handkerchief. She closed the tin with the lubricant gel and put in back in her drawer, closing put her leggings back in place, sat upright and tied her checked her desk quickly, making sure that she hadn't overseen anything suspicious. Then she told the disturber to come in. The door was opened and Kelrian entered the room.

She noticed that her heartbeat became much faster as she recognized him. She automatically crossed one leg over the other and corrected her posture so she was sitting upright. She leaned forward, crossed her arms in front of her chest and put them on the table top. She was so nervous but she had no clue why. She hadn't been nervous since she had been a young woman and attended her entrance examination. There was no reason for her to be nervous. Nevertheless, she was nervous and she had no idea why.

She regarded him closely. He wore his ranger uniform, his hair was a bit shorter than usual. It barely reached to his shoulders and had been combed. Sylvanas noticed that he looked paler than usual. At first glance, she thought he looked a bit sickly but she could also be mistaken about that. Maybe she just saw things which weren't there. Maybe she just imagined this.

She regarded him once again. Many questions came in Sylvanas' mind. Had he always looked that good? Or had he become even more handsome than he had been before? Why was her stomach tingling and the regions between her legs were wetter than before? Was he the reason she was feeling so weird at the moment?

Much more questions came in her mind but she banished them out of her head. She signalized him to close the door and sit down on the only other chair in the room. Kelrian obeyed and regarded her while he walked over to her desk. The first thing he noticed was the box of paper handkerchiefs on her desk. It seemed it was true what had been written in the scroll King Terenas had received. Sylvanas seemed to be sick, otherwise, she wouldn't need a full box of handkerchiefs.

He wondered what she got. Maybe she had a runny nose because she had a cold. He assumed that it must be a strong cold if it had forced her to return to Silvermoon City. Maybe a cold was not all that she got. Maybe she had other symptoms which usually came in hand with a cold. Headaches, fever, stomach pains, a sore throat or much more. Maybe she was just feeling unwell. She didn't look sick but she looked exhausted. Maybe she had no cold and was not sick at all.

He sat down eventually, putting his hands on his lap because he didn't know where else to put them. He didn't want to put them on her desk because he couldn't be sure if Sylvanas was not sick. Maybe she was and her desk was already contaminated with numerous pathogens.

He couldn't allow himself to get sick before the upcoming battle. A sneeze at the wrong moment could mean his death, especially when he would hide somewhere. He decided it was the best to not touch Sylvanas and anything she had touched until he knew for sure what she got.

He started to observe her from head to toe again, noticing that she was wearing a coat instead of her Ranger-General uniform. Was she so sick that she needed clothes that warmed her up? Was she feeling cold?Or did she have chills?

He couldn't imagine any reason why she wouldn't wear her uniform. She wore it whenever she was not in her family's house. She only wore different clothes in her free time. If she got any free time. She had no free time at all during these times of war.

He stopped thinking about her outfit as he noticed the barely recognizable small rings under her eyes. It seemed she hadn't gotten enough sleep the past days. Maybe because she was sick or maybe because she was working pretty hard and often worked into the night. He was worried about her. Worried about her condition. He hoped she would get better soon.

Nevertheless, she looked as beautiful as always. Her skin looked perfect. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail. He had never seen her wearing her hair differently. Normally, she wore it loose whenever it was not hidden beneath her hood. But it didn't matter what hairstyle she had. She would look gorgeous with every hairstyle. Even with short hair.

He stared into her eyes, noticing that she did the same. They didn't avert their gazes and didn't say anything. Kelrian was the one who broke their eye contact. He looked at the clock, realizing that they had sat there for half an hour had done nothing except staring at each other.

"So...," he said quietly.

"So...," repeated Sylvanas, not knowing what else to say. There was a lot going on in her mind. She had so many questions but she didn't know where to start. She still hadn't assimilated the talk with Kael'thas she had had a few hours ago. She had to tell Kelrian what she had discussed with the prince but first, she had to find out if she could trust him again.

"Shit happens, I guess," he said and regarded her curiously. He had no clue how to come to the subject he wanted to talk about for two months. He had imagined so many times how he would approach her and tell her everything he had to say. He had thought up many good and understanding arguments he would tell Sylvanas. He had prepared himself sufficiently for this discussion but at this very moment, his mind was blank. He didn't remember any of the arguments he had thought up.

He immediately regretted what he had said. How could he be so dumb and say something like that? There weren't many worse things he could have said. He wouldn't win Sylvanas back by saying that what had happened had been unfortunate. He had to convince her that it had not been his fault and that he was deeply sorry. He wouldn't manage that if he would start a conversation like that. He would love to hit himself but he didn't do it because it would only make things worse if Sylvanas would see that.

He could only hope that Sylvanas wasn't taking it too seriously. He hoped he would get another chance to approach the topic. He cleared his throat, looking at the love of his life. Fortunately for him, she didn't say anything in return nor did she seemed to be angry or confused. She did nothing else than staring at him. That was his second chance and this time he wouldn't give it away by saying something stupid. He decided to have a little small talk and then get down to business.

"It's good to see you, Sylvanas," he said. His voice sounded hoarse.

"It's good to see you too, Kelrian. It's been a while since we last saw each other... What is wrong with your voice?" Sylvanas raised an eyebrow after she had asked her question.

Kelrian shrugged his shoulders, slightly tapping his foot on the floor. He was nervous, his body was very warm and he felt a bit unwell. He hadn't felt like this before he had entered the room. He hadn't felt so nervous in the presence of Sylvanas for more than a decade. The last time he had been so nervous had been during the ranger entrance examinations. He was wondering what was going on.

A few possible reasons came in his mind. Maybe he was so nervous because he had not seen her for two months and he was worried he could mess everything up. Maybe his nervousness was a side effect or withdrawal symptom of his medicament. He had still no clue if there were any side effects. Sen'za had told him she didn't know about any side effects because she had never noticed any whenever she had consumed this mixture in the past. Nor had she ever noticed any withdrawal symptoms. She had told him that she never had problems with the mixture.

Maybe she had lied to him. Maybe she had told him the truth. He couldn't know that and he assumed he would never find out. He decided to deal with his nervousness as best as he could. Maybe he would calm down after some time. He just hoped he wouldn't stutter while talking.

Fortunately, he was able to talk without stuttering or making pauses. "I have no clue what is wrong with my voice. But don't worry about me, I'm not sick but I'm afraid you are. I was worried when I heard that you withdrew from the front because of health issues."

She could see it in his eyes that he was speaking the truth. She had no clue why she doubted him that he was really worried about her. He still loved her so he was worried about her. She was still important to him. She had doubted that from time to time within the past weeks for reasons she couldn't explain to herself.

She should know him well enough to be sure she would always be important to him. Nevertheless, she had had phases where she had doubted even the simplest things. Like if returning to Silvermoon City had been the right decision or if Kelrian truly loved her. But at this very moment, she believed he was really worried about her. His worry was not fake.

"I missed you," he said eventually, toying with his fingers while staring at her. "The past two months had felt like an eternity. I had hoped to see you much earlier and talk to you about everything, but both of us have been very busy lately. But I assume we have needed the time to think about everything."

Sylvanas nodded in return, stroking over her belly, which was still hidden beneath her coat, one time without Kelrian noticing.

Kelrian continued to speak. "I'm glad you invited me to come to your office so we can finally talk about what happened."

Sylvanas nodded again.

"It just surprised me that Prince Kael'thas gave me your letter. Well, his girlfriend did after he gave it to her. Nonetheless, he was the one who got the letter from you and not one of your rangers. I'm curious how you managed to convince him to be your messenger boy."

Sylvanas laughed softly. "I had a meeting with him earlier so I asked him to do me this favour," she explained and shifted into a more comfortable sitting position.

Kelrian raised an eyebrow. "A meeting?"

"I will tell you everything if you want because I'm sure it will interest you. But first, let me offer you something to eat or drink."

The corners of his lips formed a smile. "That would be nice."

"What do you want?"

Kelrian made a thoughtful face as he considered what to drink. "I don't need anything to eat but I have the rest of the day off so I wouldn't say no to moonberry juice."

"With alcohol, I assume," replied Sylvanas, giving him a questioning look.

He nodded at her.

Sylvanas opened the third drawer of her desk, taking two bottles and two glasses out. She opened both bottles, pouring the alcohol in a glass and the none alcoholic version in the second glass. She handed him the first and took a sip from her glass.

Kelrian raised an eyebrow. "No alcohol for you today? That's odd. You usually drink lots of it whenever we are alone or when you don't have to attend any meetings for the rest of the day."

"I still have lots of work to do," she responded. It was the truth. She had lots of work to do but that was not the main reason why she didn't consume alcoholic drinks. She was pregnant, so she was not allowed to drink alcohol. She didn't want to tell him yet that she was pregnant, so she kept it secret at first. She will talk to him first and find out the truth, then she would consider if she should tell him or if she should wait for a few more days or weeks. It depended on the outcome of the conversation.

She also knew she would get horny whenever she drank too much. She was already super horny, especially because she couldn't finish what she had started, thanks to Kelrian's early appearing. She would have felt less stressed and horny if she would have managed to bring herself over the edge. It had been prevented so she had to pull herself together to not jump on him and make love with him on the spot.

She crossed her right leg over the other, pressing her thighs tightly together. She could feel the wetness between her legs but she managed to control her needs and didn't show that her nether regions were rebelling against her. She took another sip from her moonberry juice, putting the glass back on her desk after she had enough for the moment.

She cleared her throat and looked at her boyfriend. They hadn't broken up so she could still call him like that. She had seen him one time in four months so she didn't stop looking at him and observe his handsome facial features. If only she could kiss him. She missed his lips and other parts of his body but it was not the right moment to do such things.

Her dirty mind made it much harder for her than she had expected. Her hormones were a burden. A burden she had to deal with. They were driving her crazy from time to time. It was very hard to suppress her primal instincts and lower desires. But she did it somehow. She had no clue how she did that but that didn't matter at all. What mattered was that she had managed it.

"About the meeting with Prince Kael'thas...," started Kelrian with the intention to continue their conversation.

Sylvanas took a deep breath. "You know what your best friend did, right?"

Kelrian nodded. "He killed the troll queen without receiving an order from you. He killed her in front of Zul'jin's eyes to take revenge on him for everything the trolls did to his village and his family," he explained.

Sylvanas took a sip from her glass so did Kelrian. "What do you say to that?"

Kelrian made a thoughtful face. "It was wrong to kill her. She was a prisoner of war. She was defenceless. She was a woman but that didn't matter because our people and their people also send women to battle. Its normal for their females and ours to participate in a war. They are equal to males. There is no difference between killing a woman or a man but there is a huge difference between killing a pregnant woman and a non-pregnant woman. It's outrageous to kill a pregnant woman, no matter which race she belongs to."

Sylvanas smiled for the first time since Kelrian had entered the room. "I'm glad you share my opinion."

Kelrian didn't respond verbally. He just nodded at her as he took another sip and enjoyed the unique taste of the liquid.

"You want to know what I did then, right?"

Another nod came from the male ranger.

The Ranger-General continued. "I discharged him for dishonourable conduct. I threw him out of the organisation. I guess you can imagine how mad he was when he stormed out of my office."

"Zetai is a very... emotional person. He can be very difficult from time to time. I can understand why he is mad but I also understand your point of view. He had no right to kill her. Basically, he killed two persons at the same time."

"He did. Now you wonder what it has to do with Prince Kael'thas, right?"

Kelrian emptied his glass, smiling at Sylvanas as she refilled his glass. "I do."

"It seems that Zetai had complained about my drastic but justified decision to several persons with influence. Prince Kael'thas came to me and gave me a telling-off that I can't just discharge one of the best rangers I have, especially not dishonourably. He told me that he understands my reaction but he reminded me that I need every ranger I can get. He told me that I can't dismiss anyone after I lost so many rangers. He didn't blame me for losing but he reminded me that we don't have enough men to spare someone like Zetai. The military needs every voluntary. Especially such good rangers like him."

Kelrian raised an eyebrow. "Did he convince you to take him back?"

"I'm not finished yet," she hissed. A few moments passed. A few moments where she could think about her harsh reaction. She apologized to him and continued her explanation. "He reminded me of a case which happened decades ago. There was once a mutated lynx that was three times larger than an average lynx and at least five times as deadly as one. It killed half a dozen rangers. We had to kill it even though it was pregnant. We couldn't allow that it would give birth to more of these mutated deadly creatures so we hunted it down and killed it."

Kelrian waited for a few moments until he was sure she wouldn't say more. "I assume the prince compared the troll woman to the mutated beast."

"He did. Many of our people think they are dumb, brutal beasts who must be extinguished. He argued that many of my men share Zetai's opinion and stand by him. All in all, he had said that trolls are no creatures that deserve to exist so he didn't mind if any person would kill a pregnant troll..." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She opened them after half a minute and looked back at Kelrian who thought about what she had told him.

Sylvanas continued. "There is no way to deny that the trolls are evil but they are intelligent living creatures after all. No mindless monsters. They have family and they can feel love and many other emotions. I might be one of the few persons who think so. Most of our people hate the orcs and the trolls and I can't hold that against them. They killed many of our people so did we kill many of theirs," she said, allowing Kelrian to think about what she had said, and form an opinion.

"I get your point, Syl. I understand what you're thinking. I know you don't want to defend them. I know you don't like the trolls but I get your point. She was a pregnant woman no matter to which race she belongs. Her baby didn't deserve it but she did."

The Ranger-General raised an eyebrow, giving Kelrian a questioning look.

"Together with Zul'jin she committed various crimes against our people. But there's a crime she wanted to commit that you're not aware of."

"What do you mean?" asked the pregnant woman.

Kelrian remained silent for a few moments, took a deep breath and stared into her eyes. He was dead serious. "She ordered her guard to kill me and Elena. She ordered her guard to kill two prisoners of war for no reason. We would be dead if Sen'za wouldn't have distracted the guard. I strangled him with my chains when he turned his back to me. I would have died if she wouldn't have intervened. I want to talk to you about her but we can do that later when we have talked about everything else."

Sylvanas was silent. It took a few moments for her to assimilate what he had just said. Dead. He would have been dead. He would have been dead if that troll wouldn't have saved him. So'mi had ordered his and Elena's execution. The execution of two prisoners of war. Kelrian would be gone forever if her order would have been carried out.

Sylvanas would have never been able to see him again if things would have happened differently. She couldn't believe that So'mi had ordered the executions of the love of her life. What would she be without him? A broken woman who had lost her brother and her lover during the same war. It pained her to imagine losing Kelrian. It pained her to imagine a life without him.

She would have never seen him again if the troll would have carried out So'mi's order. She would have never been able to see his smile again, his handsome face, his muscular body and much more. She would have never been able to spend time with him again, to kiss him and snuggle up to him. She would have never been able to do anything with him again if that troll would have succeeded.

Sylvanas' feelings were mixed. She felt sad but she didn't understand why. Kelrian was still alive and sat in front of her, nevertheless, it felt as if she had lost him. But there was not only the feeling of loss that she noticed. There were also rage and anger. She was mad at this whore of a troll who had ordered to kill her lover.

Nobody was allowed to touch a hair on his head. Anyone who would try to harm him would have to live with the consequences. Nobody wanted to witness the wrath of the Ranger-General. Every enemy was afraid of her for a reason. She was so angry at this very moment that she wished she could ram a knife in the queen's neck but then she remembered that So'mi was already dead. She had been killed by her best ranger who she had trusted. Her best ranger who had disappointed Sylvanas and abused her trust.

The troll queen had paid for what she had done in the past. She had paid for all the crimes she had committed and for ordering Kelrian's execution. She had paid with her life. Sylvanas no longer felt sorry for what had happened to her. She only felt sorry for the unborn baby she had carried in her belly. The baby that would never see the daylight because its mother had been killed.

Sylvanas put her hands on her belly as she thought about the baby. She was afraid that she might lose her had never been afraid of anything in her entire life. Neither of an enemy nor of death itself. She had never been afraid of losing her own life during a battle. She wouldn't shrink back from sacrificing her life for the greater good. But now that she was pregnant, she was afraid of something for the first time of her life. She was afraid of losing her child. It was only natural to be afraid of something but Sylvanas didn't like the feeling. She didn't like to be afraid and feel insecure.

She had never skipped a battle before. She had never retreated because she was afraid to die. For the first time in her life, she had returned to Silvermoon instead of joining the battle. For the first time in her life, she stayed behind safe walls while her soldiers would fight for Lordaeron. She knew she was needed in battle. She knew the chance of victory were higher when she was around but she couldn't join the battle. She couldn't risk losing her baby. She would never forgive herself if that would happen.

It had taken a while and lots of discussions with Verena but in the end, she had decided to remain in Silvermoon City and pretend that she had health issues. She was not a coward and she would fight if her presence would be necessary to win. But she knew her army was in good hands. Verena and Alleria would lead their people to victory and defeat the orcs once and for all.

Sylvanas noticed that she had stared at her belly the whole time while she had been lost in thoughts. She lifted her gaze eventually, looking at Kelrian who regarded her with furrowed brows. She didn't say anything nor did he. They just stared into each other eyes for a while.

Sylvanas cleared her throat eventually, getting the ranger's attention. "So, this blue-skinned troll saved you. That's the reason why you want to talk to me about her," she concluded.

Kelrian nodded. "She could have tortured us or gave Elena to the other troll who would have done unspeakable things to her. But she didn't. Instead, she locked us in a cell and gave us regular decent meals when we drank all the potions she gave us. Most of them had no effect on us, at least none we noticed. Some of them caused pain to us but she did her best to neutralize the side effects. She distracted the bodyguard who was supposed to kill us, which allowed Elena and me to kill him. I managed to get rid of my cuffs with the help of the guard's knife, then I stopped Sen'za from killing the troll queen. Sen'za was afraid the troll queen would tell Zul'jin lies to manipulate him into getting rid of her so she told us that we would have to flee. She gave me the key to free Elena and then we fled together with Sen'za and So'mi as ourhostages."

Sylvanas was silent as she assimilated everything he had just said. She took a sip of her juice, refilling her glass once it was empty. "About these potions she gave you...," Sylvanas started but didn't speak any further because she didn't know what to say.

"Your men searched through her things as they locked her in the cell, didn't they?" he asked.

Sylvanas shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, to be honest. I was not in Silvermoon when she was brought to the prison and I didn't ask the guards what they found. When I returned from the meeting with the other leaders of the Alliance, Zetai and I interrogated the troll queen while someone else interrogated Sen'za. I have no clue which things she had with her because no one told me anything about any valuable objects she brought with her."

"There was a book in her bag in which she always took notes whenever she gave us a potion. Maybe she wrote down which kind of a potion she was trying to create," he told.

"Even if we find out which potions she wanted to create, how would this information help us?" she asked.

"It helps us to understand what happened. I didn't intend to kiss Elena nor did I ever wanted it, just so you know. I... I don't know how to explain it properly. I had no control over my body when it happened. I would have pushed her away if my body would have obeyed my commands. I hope you know that I would never cheat on you. I was not myself back then. The potions were responsible for everything I did."

"So you're saying that the potion influenced you and let you do things you didn't want to do, right?"

He nodded his head. "I didn't initiate the kiss and what happened a few days before," he paused. He had expected the confused expression on Sylvanas' face which appeared at this very moment. He felt guilty even though there was no reason to feel that way. He may have slept with Elena but he hadn't initiated it nor had he been able to do anything to prevent it. He had wanted to stop her but he had not been able to do that. He had been powerless back then.

Nevertheless, it felt for him as if he had cheated on her. He was afraid of what she would say to that. He was afraid she would overreact but he could understand if she would regard it as cheating. He could also withhold the information but that would only lead to more problems once she would find out. And she will. He was sure about that.

She would never forgive him when she would find that out. Also, he didn't want to feel guilty whenever he would be around her. The truth will come out sooner or later. There was no way to keep it from her forever. He was an honest person so he had to tell her even though he knew she wouldn't be happy about it. But he knew it was the only right decision he could make in this situation.

He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. He exhaled loudly and opened his eyes, looking at Sylvanas who had an expecting expression on her face. "I don't know how to explain to you how it happened. I couldn't control my body when it happened. I'm sorry Sylvanas but I have to tell you that I slept with Elena against my will. I didn't want it but my body had its own mind. I only assume the potion caused that I acted this way. I regretted it the day after but regret cannot undo what I have done... I'm sorry," he spoke, his voice was much lower and reflected sadness. His eyes reflected sadness and stared at the ground. He couldn't look into her eyes, not after what he had done.

There was silence. Sylvanas didn't answer him. He couldn't see her face but he assumed that hurt and betrayal were reflected in it. He closed his eyes, preparing himself for the slap he thought would come. But it didn't come. Not in the first ten seconds. Not in the following thirty seconds. Not even after five minutes had passed.

He opened his eyes and lifted his gaze, assuming that Sylvanas had left the room without making a sound. It really surprised him that she was still there and sat on her chair. Her lips formed a thin line, her widened eyes rested on him.

That look was the one look Sylvanas' rangers were afraid of the most because they couldn't judge how she felt whenever she made that facial expression. If she would look angry or sad, they could at least try to soothe her but with that expression, no one knew what to do. And no one knew how she would react. Kelrian was worried but he was not afraid of her. She could hit him in the face the next moment or start to sob. Everything was possible. He wouldn't mind if she would hit him. He deserved it in his opinion.

But nothing happened within the next few minutes. Kelrian stood up and walked over to Sylvanas slowly, still wondering how she would react. He reached her and lowered his body until his head was on the same height as hers. He carefully put one hand on her cheek, regarding her worriedly. "I'm so sorry, my dear," he whispered as she turned her head and looked at him. Tears ran down her cheeks but he wiped them away, repeating that he was sorry. He asked for forgiveness but she didn't respond. She didn't say anything, she just stared into his eyes.

"Do you love her?" she asked eventually. Her voice sounded weak and broken.

He shook his head without hesitation, his eyes showed determination. "I don't love her nor do I have any feelings for her. I only regard her as a friend. I will never see her again if you want that. I will never talk to her outside a battle if that's your wish."

Sylvanas didn't respond. Her expression was unreadable so Kelrian decided to order his thoughts and wait. Sylvanas emptied her glass, then she took his. He assumed she would empty it too, but instead she poured the content right in his face. He had not expected that. He opened his eyes and took the box of paper handkerchiefs, Sylvanas offered him. He cleaned his face with several of them and put it back on the desk.

"I think I deserve that," he said quietly.

"I'm not mad at you," said Sylvanas. "But I'm not happy either."

He nodded at her. "I understand you."

"I know you for over a decade. I know you pretty well so I know you would never do something like that to me. Especially not with a woman you're not interested in. I have to talk to your blue-skinned friend to fully understand everything," he said.

He gave her an understanding nod.

"But for now, I forgive you. I believe your story with the potions."

Kelrian smiled and stroked her cheek. "I'm glad then."

He expected her to say something but instead, she remained silent and made a thoughtful face. He wondered what was going on in her mind. Did she wanted to say something or was she still assimilating everything he had told her so far? He assumed that there must be something which didn't want to leave her mind. Maybe she wanted to tell him something but didn't know how she should begin.

"There is something you want to tell me, right?" His voice was quiet and soothing.

She nodded her head but didn't say anything at first. She remained silent for a few moments, looking at Kelrian who smiled at her and gave her a sympathetic look. Staring into his eyes had a positive effect on her. It gave her courage, strength and calmed her down. She could get through everything and withstand any stress as long as he would be around her.

She loved him and he loved her. She knew that. She knew he had no feelings for Elena. She believed that it had been an accident and Kelrian hadn't wanted to kiss her or sleep with her. It had happened nevertheless but it won't happen again. He had promised it and she knew he always kept his promises. She trusted him.

Her hormones were driving her crazy. The longer she looked at him, the more she wanted him at this very moment but it was not the right time to do that. It was too soon. She may have forgiven him but she needed time. She knew that there was a chance that he wouldn't return from Lordaeron. It pained her to imagine him dying during the battle.

Normally, she would have slept with him before the battle because she couldn't know if she would ever see him again but because of everything that had happened, she had decided against it. She wouldn't sleep with him that day but she would pray to all gods she knew that Kelrian will return to her in one piece.

Sylvanas rubbed the back of his hand which still rested on her cheek, then she removed it and put it in her own hand, intertwining their fingers. She took a deep breath and exhaled a few seconds later. "I think the best is that I say it straight without explaining much. I'm...," she paused for a short moment but the curious look on his face and the comforting smile on his lips gave her the strength to continue speaking. "I'm pregnant."

Silence.

Kelrian's eyes widened but he didn't say anything.

Unpleasant silence.

His face reflected surprise as his brain assimilated what she had just said. He couldn't believe it at first. He thought she was joking but the determined look on Sylvanas' face told him that she was serious about this. She was pregnant. For real. And he was the father. He had to be. Unlike him, Sylvanas hadn't slept with another person. He hoped that. No, he believed that. He wondered why he felt so insecure at this very moment.

For some reason, he feared that the rumours that Sylvanas and Nathanos had something together might be true. What if Nathanos was the father? Had Sylvanas been loyal to him? Would she risk everything for an affair with that human? Would she do that to him? Would Nathanos do that to him? He found Sylvanas attractive but that didn't mean that he wanted something from her, right? He and Nathanos were good friends. Nathanos wouldn't risk ruining their friendship, would he? Kelrian felt so insecure at this very moment and he had no clue why.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, ordering his thoughts. His head was a mess because of the surprising news he had just received. He was overreacting and imagining scenarios which wouldn't be possible. He doubted everything he had never doubted before.

It took a few minutes but he managed to calm down and made his head clear. He opened his eyes again, looking at Sylvanas whose eyes reflected insecurity. But the insecurity vanished as she saw the happy smile on his lips. He came closer to her and hugged her carefully, "That's great, my love," he spoke.

He rubbed her back carefully and put his head on her shoulder. Sylvanas' face reflected relief. She put one hand on the back of his head and run her fingers through it. The other was still holding his.

Kelrian pulled back after a while, regarding her from head to toe. "I'm just wondering how it happened. I thought you always took the pill whenever we make love. Did you forgot to take it one day?" he asked curiously.

"Well for some reason, my pills were not in my bag one day so I went to Alleria and asked her for one. You need to know that the pills I buy are the best ones you can get. They work in every single case. The chance of preventing pregnancy is one hundred percent. I can only guess that Alleria's pills were not as good as mine. The chance to get pregnant while taking them is very low. But it's still there and I got pregnant despite the low chance," she explained.

Kelrian made a thoughtful face and remained silent for a few moments. "Don't you want to have a baby?" he asked curiously.

"To be honest, I've never thought about becoming a mother. I think that one day, I would have come to the conclusion to have one with you but decades would have passed until then. I'm not mad. I'm happy to give birth to a baby in about five months. I'm not angry that you made me pregnant. I just wish it wouldn't happen during times of war. I would rather join the battle and fight together with the Alliance than sitting in Silvermoon while the others are risking their lives. I want to fight and defeat the orcs but I can't do that anymore if I want to make sure our baby will survive."

"I'm sorry," Kelrian spoke quietly.

Sylvanas chuckled quietly. "You don't have to. It's not your fault that I couldn't resist you. I should have checked if my pills were still in my bag before I would have slept with you. But I couldn't resist you that day. I couldn't resist you because I knew how you look like without your clothes."

He smiled at her but didn't say anything in return. She had spoken the truth. He looked good and he knew it. She, on the other hand, looked more than just good. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Even the sun itself was envious of her beauty.

He knew that she knew she looked good so he wondered if she still shared this opinion since she became pregnant. It was not unlikely that she would regard herself as fat and even ugly with her belly which will become bigger and bigger in the following months. He knew the following months wouldn't be easy for her so he will give his best and support her as best as he can once he would return from Lordaeron. If he would return.

If that would be the case, he would reassure her and support her as best as he could. He hoped everything will turn out well. But life was cruel. Not everything always happened as people hoped for. It was possible that he wouldn't survive the upcoming battle. Wars were cruel. Life was cruel and unfair. He could only hope for the best, so could Sylvanas.

"That's the reason why you stay in Silvermoon, right? You don't have any serious health problems, do you?" Worry was reflected by Kelrian's face and voice.

Sylvanas shook her head slightly, giving him a comforting look. "No, I don't have a disease or something like that. There is no reason for you to be worried about me."

He put his hands on her cheeks, caressing them carefully while he smiled at her. She returned his smile and stared into his handsome blue glowing eyes. "Am I allowed to kiss you?" he asked after a while.

Soft laughter escaped her lips. "You haven't asked to kiss me for years. You always kissed me without asking, so why do you ask now?"

"Well, I'm afraid it would be too soon. We just made up, so I thought it wouldn't be right to do that."

"I don't see a reason why it wouldn't be right but I won't go further with you. Not now. You are allowed to kiss me but I won't sleep with you even though today is the last day we can spend together before you have to go back to Lordaeron."

Kelrian nodded to her. "I understand you. You need time and you will get all the time you need."

"I'm glad you understand," she said. She regarded him closely. He looked so good. Her body wanted him. Her body wanted to jump on him, remove his clothes and take him on the spot. But her mind told her to wait. But at the same time, her mind also told her to do it for the case he would never return. She was conflicted but she came to the conclusion it was the best for their relationship if she would wait. She didn't want to rush things.

It was pretty hard to resist her lower desires. The additional hormones which were released since she became pregnant didn't help at all. They only made things worse. She managed to control herself somehow.

"Can I ask you something?" Kelrian asked eventually.

"Sure, go ahead."

"You told me that Lirath's funeral will take place after we defeated the trolls. Is that still the case or do you want to wait until the end of the war?"

Sylvanas made a thoughtful face. "I don't know how much longer the war will last. We don't have the time right now for a traditional ceremony but I don't want to bury him quickly or burn his body without doing much. He deserves a proper funeral so do the other members of my family which died. Every soldier we lost during the war deserves a proper funeral so we wait until the war is over. Lirath's body is preserved by magic, so its condition won't change as long as we want. But I don't want him to rest in a chamber in Silvermoon City forever. We have to cremate or bury him one day. He deserves that, I'm just not sure if we should burn his body or bury it. I will wait for the outcome of the upcoming battle. Then I will see."

"You will make the right decision, I'm sure about that."

Sylvanas returned his smile. "I haven't told you about my decision about Zetai yet."

"You are right. You wanted to tell me but then we digressed from the topic. I'm curious."

The Ranger-General exhaled. "I decided to allow him to join the Farstriders. At least until the war is over. Then we will see. But he won't be allowed to join my group which is currently lead by Verena. I don't trust him anymore but Ranger-Captain Sweetblossom does. Salna was his girlfriend and Vara's sister. They mourned for her together so I assume she feels his pain and understands better why he did that. I can understand him a little but I don't appreciate what he did. As long as Vara wants him in her unit, he is allowed to be a member of her group.

I'd like to leave him in Silvermoon and let him think over his actions and his behaviour but we need every good soldier we can get. It's bad enough that I have to stay in Silvermoon. I just can't exclude one of our best rangers. We need him. Maybe he will make up for what he did. Who knows? I want to give him a chance to redeem himself, even though I'm not sure if he deserves a second chance. I mean everyone deserves a second chance but still...What he did..."

"Zetai is my best friend, I know him pretty well so I expected that he might do something morally wrong. I thought he would slaughter defenceless trolls but I have never expected that he would kill a pregnant prisoner. I'm disappointed in him but I think I'll give him a second chance. I assume he was not himself when he did that. I bet it was the loss of his girlfriend who drove him to do such a horrible thing. I will speak to him when I see him again. If he joins Vara's group, he will go with me to Lordaeron tomorrow, right?"

Sylvanas nodded her head. "I will speak to him first and then I see if he will go to Lordaeron. But I think he will go with Vara's group so you have the chance to speak to him."

"Good to know that. I will talk to him. Definitely."

"Do that, my dear."

"Can I kiss you now?" he asked with a seductive smile on his lips.

Sylvanas didn't respond verbally to him. Instead, she leaned in and brought their lips together. She didn't hesitate to put her hand on the back of his head. She ran her fingers through his hair and inserted her tongue once his lips parted. Her tongue brushed past his and explored every reachable corner of his mouth. He did the same and caressed her back softly.

Sylvanas pulled him closer, deepened the kiss and even moaned quietly into it. She held his right hand while they held the kiss, caressing its back with her thumb. Sylvanas had missed this. She had missed feeling his soft lips against hers. She had also missed holding his hand and feeling his tongue in her mouth. But what she missed most was being close to him. The last time they had been so close had been four months ago. She had only seen him two times since that day. Two times in four months.

Her nether regions became wetter the longer the kiss endured but Sylvanas managed to hold back and do not let her body act on its own. She knew they hadn't been intimate for four months but she would wait longer if it was necessary. On the other hand, she didn't know if she would ever see him again. She didn't want to imagine losing him but there was no way to avoid thinking about it. Such thoughts made her sad.

She didn't notice the tears which ran down her cheeks before Kelrian wiped them away after he had broken the kiss. The face he made showed worry about also sympathy. His mere presence was enough to comfort her and give her the strength to hold out until his return. He comforted her and told her to only think positively. He told her that everything would be alright and she believed him. She believed that he would return in one piece to her. She was sure the orcs will be defeated. She believed everything would turn out well.

Sylvanas stood up after a few minutes had passed and opened her coat, showing Kelrian her slightly swollen belly for the first time. He regarded it closely for a few moments, then he put his hand on it and caressed it slowly and carefully. She smiled at him while he did that and he looked up after a few minutes, returning her smile.

"I'm happy about the baby," he said.

Sylvanas' smile became wider. "So am I. But our lives won't be the same once the people find out that I'm pregnant. Times won't be easy for us. Raising a child won't be easy."

"We will get through it together, my love. I believe we will be good parents," he responded and leaned in for another kiss. She returned the kiss which was full of passion. They held the kiss for a few minutes until they parted because they had run out of air. The couple stared into each other's eyes, the corners of their lips formed happy smiles as they took long breaths. One of Sylvanas' hands rested on Kelrian's which still caressed her belly.

The silence was pleasant and enjoyable. They didn't have to say anything. They just wanted to enjoy the presence of the other.

"I have something for you," she said after a while.

Kelrian raised an eyebrow curiously. Sylvanas gave him the signal to wait so he did that. She walked over to her wardrobe, opened it and took her quiver out of it. She pulled out one arrow and put the quiver back in the wardrobe. She walked back to Kelrian and handed it over to him. He took it and regarded it carefully.

The arrow didn't look like a normal arrow. The tip was made out of the best steel forged in Ironforge. It was coloured in gold, blue symbols were carved in the shaft and the fletching was made out of golden and blue coloured feathers. The initials 'S.W.' were carved in the tip and in the nock of the arrow.

It was a very special arrow. It was one of Sylvanas' arrows so it was already special enough for him. He couldn't know it was of more importance for Sylvanas than he assumed.

"This is my favourite arrow. My mother once gave me this quiver full of arrows when I became Ranger-General. All the other arrows in my quiver look similar to this but this one is the only one where my initials are carved in. It was the last remaining arrow of the original ones which my mother gifted me. I want you to have it and put it in your quiver when you fight for Lordaeron. Regard it as a lucky charm. Only use it when it is necessary. If you don't have to use it when you can either bring it back to me or keep it. It's up to you."

Kelrian was stunned. This arrow meant so much for Sylvanas and she gave it to him. It was her favourite arrow. He asked himself if he was worthy enough to possess this arrow. He asked himself if he would be worthy enough to use it but the smile on his lover's lips told him that he was worthy. She wouldn't have given him the arrow if she wouldn't regard him as worthy.

"Sylvanas...I...I don't know what to say," he stuttered.

"That's not everything I have for you," she replied and opened her highest drawer, taking a silver shining necklace out of it. It looked like an ordinary necklace except that there was a big purple gem attached to it. The gem was surrounded by small pearls which had a silver colour tone. The pearls didn't shine as brightly as the gem so it stood out.

The ranger regarded it for a few moments before he lifted his gaze and looked at his lover who still smiled at him. "I have to thank you, my love. I wish I had a gift for you but unfortunately, I don't have one."

He put the arrow on the desk so its tip pointed away from them. He took the necklace out of her hand and touched it carefully. It was not very heavy and shined in the lamplight. He bet it had been very expensive. It must have cost her a fortune to buy that.

"I don't think I can accept that. It's too expensive."

Sylvanas smiled at his response. "Of course, you can. Don't you dare to say only men are allowed to buy jewellery for their partners. That would be sexism and a cliché. I'm also allowed to give my boyfriend gifts whenever I want and I don't care how expensive they are. I have enough money to buy dozens of these necklaces. I just wanted to give you something you can wear during the war. Something which reminds you that I'm always with you. It's okay to accept it, my dear." She pressed a soft kiss on his cheeks, smiling widely at him.

Kelrian was silent for a few moments but then he nodded at her and gave her a response. "I will wear it around my neck if it makes you happy but only beneath my uniform. I don't want the others to start rumouring about where I got it. Thanks to my father, rumours about us are already in the air. It won't take long until our people count one and one together and come to the conclusion that we are a couple."

"I get your point, Kel, but they will find it out sooner or later so I see no point in hiding it."

"You are right, my love. You are always right."

She smirked. "I know."

"I just wish I had a gift for you," he said quietly.

She took his hand and put in on her belly. "You already gave me a gift."

"I'm looking forward to raising this tiny creature with you," he said. The happiness that was reflected in his face couldn't be overseen.

The same amount of happiness was reflected in Sylvanas' face.

"So am I."