Chapter 31: Repercussions

*Italic

He is dead.

Gone forever.

He will never return.

Never ever.

How could this happen?

How could the orcs push so far and break through our defences?

Why did they attack Windrunner Village and Spire?

Did they do it to hurt me? Did they want to let me suffer for the countless lives of orcs and trolls I have taken? Did they do it because they want to break me?*

Countless thoughts were going through Sylvanas' head. She was grieving. Grieving about her dear brother who hadn't even reached adulthood when he was killed. He was only thirty-seventh years old which was nothing for a high elf. High elves could become over three thousand years old but not everyone reached this age. The main reason for that was war. The trolls and orcs had killed too many people over the past years. Rangers, guards but also civilians like Lirath.

But Lirath had not only been murdered by the orcs but also had been betrayed. All high elves had been betrayed. Betrayed by a certain priest. Xenarion Sunsinger was the bastard's name. He could have saved Lirath but he didn't. He sealed Lirath's fate when he refused to heal him. He was not better than the trolls and orcs and he will pay for his crimes one day.

Sylvanas felt not only grief but also rage. She was furious. She wanted to find Xenarion and kill him but he had disappeared. He was out of her reach and there was nothing she could do to catch him. There was nothing she could do to calm herself down. She was shattered. Her whole world had turned upside down with Lirath's death. She didn't regard things the same anymore and she didn't enjoy what she had enjoyed before. She had left her favourite meal almost untouched like all the meals of the past few days. She had barely eaten anything.

She felt weak.

Tired.

Exhausted.

Broken.

Shattered.

Destroyed.

Worthless.

Useless.

She hadn't been there when Lirath died. She hadn't been there when her village and her home had been attacked by these ugly green creatures. She hadn't been there to defend her family. She hadn't been there to defend her mother who had almost been raped by orcs. She hadn't been there to prevent that Lirath would get mortally injured by his opponents. She hadn't been there to force this sick bastard to heal him. She would have beaten him up until he would have healed her brother.

But she hadn't been there to help anyone. She had failed them, disappointed them. She was a disappointment. She was not the mighty Ranger-General, the best of all rangers. She was a weakling who couldn't even protect her own family. She had failed Lirath, failed her mother, failed even Zendarin. She failed her family and she will never forgive herself for that. What kind of a leader was she when she couldn't even protect her own brother?

She was not fit to lead the Farstriders. She was not fit to lead the high elven army. She was a disgrace. She was nothing. She had never expected that the orcs would break through the southern defence line. Over three hundred high elves died that day. Two-hundred and fifty rangers and guards and eighty civilians. She couldn't protect them. Her plan had failed. She had failed her people. Failed herself. Failed everyone.

While the orcs had devasted her home, shehadbeen victorious with the next step of her had conquered the last remaining outposts of the Amani trolls, meaning that only Zul'Aman was left where the bastard Zul'jin hid like a coward. Sylvanas had lost hundreds of elves, dozens of humans and dwarves but they had killed more than one thousand trolls in return. The Amani trolls were almost defeated but that didn't mean the war was won because the forest trolls and the orcs were still out there. The orcs had not only weakened the defence of Quel'Thalas, but they had also dealt a heavy blow to the morale of the elves.

Sylvanas couldn't overcome her grief. She couldn't stop herself from crying all day and all night. She was shattered. She hadn't left her room for an entire week. She had barely seen her mother, her sisters and her father who were grieving as well. But unlike her, they were grieving together and comforted each other as best as possible. They had offered Sylvanas to join them but she had declined their offerings.

Seeing the sad faces of her family would only make things worse because she would remember that she had failed them as well whenever she would see them. It was her responsibility to protect the citizens of Quel'Thalas so she was also responsible to protect her family. She had failed in both cases and she was not sure if she would ever be able to forgive herself for her failure and weakness.

She stayed in her room. Either she hid beneath her blankets or she stood on the balcony, looking into the distance. Three weeks had passed since Lirath's death. The orcs had been pushed back and driven out of Quel'Thalas but they will return one day. She was sure about that.

The Alliance had reclaimed the occupied villages and started to rebuild them. More bases had been built near Windrunner Village and Windrunner Spire. More soldiers were stationed there and more groups were patrolling through the area around these two places. The builders were in the process of rebuilding the defensive line in the south and strengthened it so the orcs won't be able to break through it that easily next time. All of their siege engines had been destroyed so they won't return within the next week.

The orcs may have been driven out of Quel'Thalas but it was still possible that a few of them remained somewhere. Any orc with a bow or anything they could throw very far could completely destroy the morale of the high elves if he would manage to kill the Ranger-General while she stood on her balcony. Sylvanas didn't care about her own safety because she felt too shattered to care about herself.

She had been unprotected for the first few days and she hadn't cared about that. Fortunately, a few mages had noticed that she spent a lot of time on her balcony so they had created an invisible barrier which protected her from anything that could be thrown at her. No arrows, axes, spears or other missiles could harm her as long as the barrier was intact.

Grief had overwhelmed her so she was unaware of what her death would cause. Not only would her death affect her family which was still coping with Lirath's death but also would the morale of her people sink drastically. They would seek vengeance and make stupid decisions which could lead to their defeat. She was essential for victory, without her the chances were much lower. An entire nation would mourn if she would die.

It was already hard for her rangers to fight while she was absent. The difference between fighting with Sylvanas and without Sylvanas was huge. Her rangers were better and more motivated when she was around. The positive effect of her mere presence on others was a phenomenon. Without this positive effect, the high elves had a hard time dealing with the trolls in the east and south-east. They won battle after battle but their losses were larger than under Sylvanas' command.

Normally, Alleria would have taken over the army and lead them but she was busy following Xenarion who was fleeing south. She had set in her head to chase him until she would get him one day. And her team was helping her.

In the absence of the two most famous members of the Windrunner family, Verena had taken over and had managed to push the trolls back. She had sent several groups of scouts and spies to the south which had the task to find out what the orcs were doing and planning. She did a great job at driving out the trolls of their lands. She was not such a good archer, leader and strategist as Sylvanas but she did her best. The high elves were still winning the battles against the trolls even though their Ranger-General hadn't left her room for two weeks since the reconquest of Windrunner Spire and Village.

Sylvanas stood in front of her window, looking out of it. She was not in the mood to go on the balcony and feel the warmth of the sun so she remained in her room and regarded the house's surroundings from this angle.

She still mourned for her brother.

There was nothing which could comfort her and satisfy her thirst for vengeance. She would love to hit the face of the guilty man until it would be nothing more than a bloody mess. She would love to hit him over and over again until the grief and the emotional pain she felt would disappear. She wouldn't mind killing him in the process because he deserved it in her opinion.

And she was not the only one who shared her opinion. The inhabitants of Quel'Thalas wanted Xenarion dead. He had betrayed their people and did nothing while an innocent young man bled to death just because he had had a few differences with the Ranger-General. Basically, he killed a young man because he had had problems with his sister.

These problems had become larger because the older sister of the person he had problems with chased him until she would get him. She wouldn't mind chasing him until the end of the earth. He had a lead but it became smaller with each passing day. Alleria will find him one day and put him to justice. Sylvanas was hoping that at least. She would never be able to overcome her grief if this bastard would still be out there, being allowed to breathe and live while her brother was dead.

She didn't turn her head nor did she say anything as she heard knocks at her door. She didn't say anything because she knew the person who was knocking would enter anyways.

Kelrian entered the room, carrying a tray in his hands which he put on her desk next to the barely touched trays of the past days. He knew she wouldn't eat much but he was still hoping that she would stop her hunger strike or whatever she was doing, so he had put only half of the daily ration on her tray.

He regarded her. Her body looked thinner than he remembered and that worried him. She didn't turn her head to him as he greeted her nor did she do or say anything as he came closer until he stood directly behind her.

He regarded her face, at least the half he was able to see. Her eyes were red from crying while her face was pale. Her otherwise perfect blonde hair was messy and greasy, which meant she hadn't showered for days or maybe even weeks. Her bottom lip was burst and it was unmistakable that she had chewed on her nails.

Kelrian knew Sylvanas since quite some time, so it had been a shock at first to see her like that when he had visited her a few days after he had received the bad news. He had visited her every day, spoken to her and even hugged her. She had barely reacted to him whenever he had come to her. She hadn't spoken to him nor had she looked at him. Instead, she had stared out of the window or had been standing on the balcony.

At least she had allowed him to hug her. Sometimes she had even put her head on his shoulder or had pressed her face against his chest when she had burst into tears. Kelrian had held her in his arms, ran his fingers through her messy hair and had whispered soothing words in her ears whenever she had done that.

He didn't get feedback from her if that helped her but he noticed that her body relaxed whenever he had held her for a while. She wasn't saying or showing it but his presence really helped her. She felt safer when he was around. His pure presence comforted her but it was not enough to fill the hole inside her. He wasn't able to fix her shattered heart but at least he was able to help her control her rage and prevented that she would do anything stupid caused by the grief she couldn't overcome.

At this very moment, he was hugging her from behind as he normally did. His strong arms were wrapped around her waist, one hand laid on her belly while the other held her hand. His head rested on her shoulder so he was able to kiss her cheek, her neck and her ear from time to time. These kisses had a positive effect on Sylvanas.

The kisses helped her relax but she was still grieving and Kelrian had no clue how he could help her overcome her grief. He had tried to talk to her but she didn't respond to him. He had tried to look into her eyes but she had turned her head away whenever he had tried that. Even putting his hands on her cheeks and force her to look at him hadn't worked out. In the end, she had elbowed him in the stomach until he had let her go. Even massaging her shoulders or combing her messy hair didn't help her.

Even Verena hadn't been able to comfort Sylvanas. She had tried it alone when she had visited her for two days, then she had tried it together with Kelrian. Both attempts had failed. Verena had returned to the front a week ago so it was up to Kelrian to stand by her and try to comfort her somehow. He spent his entire free time with her, he even stayed every second night. Either he slept on her couch or in her bed, holding her and speaking to her while she cried herself to sleep. Basically, he was with her whenever he wasn't working.

Verena had withdrawn him from the front to the area around Windrunner Village and Windrunner Spire where he went to patrol every day with five other rangers. She had done that so he could visit her every day and try to help her. He was there for Sylvanas while she couldn't. She wished she could help her best friend but she had to lead the elven army in Sylvanas' absence. Victory was the most important thing.

They stood there for a while, looking out of the window without saying anything. Sylvanas wasn't showing it but she was glad that Kelrian visited her whenever he could. He had to work overtime every day becausewar had come to their land and wouldn't leave for a while. Every single ranger, guard and person who was able to fight worked longer than usual. Half of the rangers were fighting the Horde and conquered the troll's territories while the other half made sure that the borders were secured and no invader would overcome their defence.

Kelrian had to work for ten to twelve hours a day. He only slept for five to six hours every day and he spent his entire free time with Sylvanas. Kelrian's mere presence really helped her to get used to Lirath's death. She still hadn't accepted it. She still couldn't believe that he was gone forever. She still blamed herself and mourned for him but she was doing better and better with each passing day.

It was just a matter of time until Sylvanas' phase of grief would end and she would be herself again. Sooner or later, she would come out of her room and return to the front. She wouldn't stop until the trolls and orcs would be defeated. That was very likely to happen. She had sworn to call Zul'jin and the Warchief of the Horde, Orgrim Doomhammer to account for their war crimes. And she wouldn't stop until her vow would be fulfilled.

But for now, she remained in her room and grieved for her little brother who had been taken away from her too soon. Kelrian stood by her, watching over her whenever he had the time. He did his best to calm her down and comfort her, he didn't know if it worked because she barely responded to him. She didn't look at him nor did she speak to him but she didn't send him away. She knew he was doing his best to support her whenever he could and it was not his fault that her mood was only slowly getting better from day to day. But even Sylvanas realized her mood was getting better and better.

She still didn't feel in the mood to do anything, nor did she respond to her lover who didn't know what else he could do. It bothered him that he couldn't help Sylvanas, no matter what he was doing for her. He felt useless, blamed himself and even called himself a bad boyfriend. He didn't realize that he was the only person who could help Sylvanas to overcome her grief. He was the only one who could help Sylvanas out of her valley of grief. He didn't have to do much to make Sylvanas feel better from day to day. He only had to be there for her, which he was.

A few hours had passed in which Sylvanas and Kelrian had only stared out of the window. He had held her in his arms and she had enjoyed that. So had he. He had expected that she would go to the balcony after she had wriggled out of his embrace. But instead, she had walked to her bed. She sat there cross-legged, regarding him curiously.

Yes, she looked at him for the first time, after two weeks in which she had avoided to look at him. The face she made looked different from those she had made during the past two weeks. She didn't look that sad anymore but she didn't look happy either.

It was unmistakable that she was still grieving and hadn't managed to cope with her brother's death. Her heart was still shattered into millions of pieces but these pieces were slowly reassembled. She just needed time. Time she didn't have because her people were counting on her. They were hoping she would return to the front soon. Of course, they understood that she needed time to assimilate everything.

Nevertheless, the morale of the rangers and guards had suffered under Sylvanas' absence. They still believed in victory and in their leaders but the longer the Ranger-General was absent, the more insecure they became.

Kelrian knew that so he was hoping he could comfort Sylvanas so she could return to the front soon. But in the first place, he wanted to comfort her because he loved her and it pained him to see her suffer. To manage to bring her back to the front was only the second place on his priority a ranger, he should always think of the interests of his people first and then he could think of his personal interests.

But the reality was that he cared for Sylvanas the most. His people came second to him. He loved her. And she loved him. She had barely shown it over the past weeks but she loved him more than everything else. Their love was strong. It gave them the strength to go through everything together, overcome every problem and get rid of all threats. There were only a few bonds in the world which were stronger than the bond these two individuals had together. They will get through these hard times. Together.

Kelrian's face reflected surprise as he looked at Sylvanas who stared at him without saying anything. Her lips formed a thin line, her blue eyes stared into his. He returned her gaze, tilting his head a little. She continued to stare at him, only breaking eye contact when her stomach growled loudly and she automatically looked at the trays which were standing on her desk.A small smile appeared on Kelrian's lips as he noticed that the food had aroused her interest. He was worried about her because she hadn't eaten much within the past weeks so he would be very happy if she would take a few bites at least.

He pointed at the newest tray as he looked at her. "Do you want to eat something, honey?"

She didn't respond verbally but the nod she gave him was enough to bring a smile on his lips. His gaze didn't leave her as he walked over to her desk, picking up the newest tray on which a bowl filled with salad and a bottle of moonberry juice stood. He walked back to her, placing the tray in front of her.

Sylvanas took the bowl and placed it on her lap. At first, she poked around in the bowl with a fork but after a few minutes, she started to eat. She ate the salad slowly at first. Then she ate faster and emptied the entire bowl. She took the bottle, emptying half of it before she handed it over to her lover who almost emptied it.

He handed it back to Sylvanas who signalized him through a gesture that she wanted to eat more. Kelrian walked to the desk, picked up the tray from the previous day and returned to Sylvanas, handing it over to her with pleasure. He smiled at her while she emptied the plate of fruits within half an hour. Sylvanas even emptied the tray from two days ago but then she was satisfied and signalized Kelrian that she wasn't hungry anymore. He sat next to her, regarding her curiously.

"Are you alright?" he asked eventually.

"I think so...," she spoke slowly and quietly. "I think I'm not over Lirath's death yet. But... I feel better than I felt weeks ago. Thanks to you. You showed patience and stayed by my side even though I haven't looked at you for two weeks."

Kelrian gave her a small smile. "Well, I'm doing what a good boyfriend has to do. I'm just glad I managed to help you."

"I don't deserve you," she replied, her blue eyes rested on his handsome face. She didn't avert her gaze, noticing that he wasn't able to avert his gaze either.

Soft laughter escaped his lips. "That's not right. I am the one who doesn't deserve you," he responded. "I never will."

"I look like crap. You deserve someone better."

Kelrian moved closer to her, putting his hands on her cheeks. "There is nothing which can't be fixed with a bath. Besides, you are perfect to me no matter how you look. I would love you if you would look like this for the rest of your life. I don't mind if you look good or bad. I'm not like your numerous admirers who love you only because of your look and your reputation. I love your character, your behaviour, your strength, your charm, your quirks... Basically, I love everything about you and not just your look. But I can't deny that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are the most beautiful woman in the entire universe. There is no one who can compete with your beauty."

Sylvanas smiled at him, putting her left hand on one of his, caressing it carefully. His words meant a lot for her. They built her up, gave her strength and confidence and acceleratedthe process of assembling her shattered heart. She was glad that she had him. Without him, she would have fallen into a deep depression. Without him, she wouldn't have managed to complete the first step of getting over Lirath's death.

He hadn't done much. He had just been there for her and had helped her with his mere presence. He had helped her more than any other person could have. Not even Sylvanas' family or her best friend could have comforted her by just spending time with her. They would have given up after two days if Sylvanas would have also refused to speak to them.

"I miss him so much," she spoke eventually, her voice sounded sad and reflected grief. So did her face. She was sad whenever she thought about him. She wanted to cry, wanted to hide in her room where she wanted to stay until the end of the time. She wanted to be alone forever whenever she thought about her little brother. But then came Kelrian in her mind whenever she noticed that the grief was about to overwhelm her. She imagined him smiling at her. That gave her enough strength to fight back the grief and start thinking positively again.

The memories of him were not enough to make her forget about Lirath but that was okay because she didn't want to forget him. She always wanted to remember her little brother. She just wished that she didn't have to feel emotional pain whenever she thought about him. To achieve that, she had to accept his death and the fact that she would never see him again. That wouldn't be easy but with Kelrian's help, she should manage that. She had to cope with his death. It was necessary for her sanity and for her people.

They needed her. They needed her by their sides. They needed her in the war against these green bastards who were responsible for the deaths of thousands of elves. And for Lirath's death. Kelrian needed her as well and she needed him. They needed each other. Her family needed her. Basically, everyone needed her.

She only needed her family and Kelrian. And a bath as well. She got up, walking to the other side of the room. "Where are you going?" her lover asked curiously.

"I'm taking a bath," she replied, glancing at him shortly before she looked at the enclosed her hand around thedoorknob, signalizing Kelrian that she wanted to open the door and leave the room.

"Shall I join you or do you think it would be too early?" he asked, eying her curiously.

"Normally, I wouldn't say no to a bath with you but I guess I need some time alone to think about everything," she told.

"Shall I go then or shall I wait in your room?"

"Wait here for me" she responded, returning his smile. She regarded him for a few moments, then she opened the door and walked through it, leaving the curious and relieved Kelrian alone in her room.