Chapter 32

Ren

"Raven?" I call out to her softly. I thought she was a bit tougher than that. I thought she understood and accepted how callous I am with people of moderate intelligence. They are just so irritating. And how does she know about my…feelings for AJ? I know she is clever, I did not realize she was that clever. My frustrated feeling rapidly changes into what I assume is guilt as Raven walks down the hall. Slamming her boots on the tile, trying not to lose control. I almost want to go after her, but I know that will only anger her more. Will it not? I am not sure, women are quite frustrating. They don't even know how they will react most times. And men, well, they just do not seem to care about anything other than hormones and testosterone. Whoopie, natural chemicals. I do not understand that either. I much prefer created chemicals. They are quite interesting. And lethal, maybe I will go create one of my own in the chemistry lab. I have nothing better to do, except watch as Raven slams the door that leads to the school yard. Typical, predictable, dull. This is why I would rather not be in this social world. It is quite dull, and ridiculous, and opinionated, why can't people just use their minds? Idiotic, socialite humans. Always craving approval, disgusting. I do not need anyone's approval. Except AJ's, and as it is seeming, Raven's.

Much like last night, I cannot just leave her crying. I roll my eyes at myself, my actions will be predictable, how dull. I walk out after Raven and find her burying her face in her hands, trying to regain her composure. I can hear her muttering insults. Towards me or towards herself I cannot tell.

"Raven?"

I say quietly, taking a seat next to her on the concrete. I place my hand on her knee,

"I am sorry." Her voice muffled but I hear her scoff, "You even sound like a robot. God, I'm such an idiot, I was dumb enough to believe you were a little more civilized than the animals I waste my time with. Turns out you're just smarter."

Her words imply that she does not believe nor accept my apology.

"Raven, I'm sorry." I tilt her head towards mine until she looks me in the eyes. "Truly."

I say to her, her dark blue eyes are so enticing, so hypnotizing. So sad as the tears pool in them. She turns away and sniffles, trying to keep the tears from pouring down her cheeks, a single tear springs away and I catch it with my finger.

"I was being insensitive, and selfish. Will you forgive me? I am not very good with…human sensitivities and social standards."

"You do realize you're human too, right?"

"Eh, I would hardly classify myself as such."

I smile at her. She looks as if she would kiss me, if only I was not preoccupied with my feelings for AJ. But as I am staring into her blue eyes, I am only thinking about what I want to be with her. It seems to me that my feelings for AJ, while they may be true, have only had the chance to develop due to my lack of interaction with other people. At this moment I feel as if I need no one else but Raven. The realization must show in my gaze because hers changes too. Into something more intense, I begin to move towards her, but she springs away from me.

"No." she says, tone shaky. "I won't do this with you, I'm tired of playing games. I can't deal with it anymore. I won't bite. I know you're just gonna use me up and toss me out as soon as he turns his attention back on you. I'm not going to be used by you."

I begin to speak "I am not going to use you."

She lets out a strained laugh, "You say that now, but you don't know that. I'll always be second best. With you as well as everyone else. So no. don't you dare kiss me. I'll forgive you, but don't think for a second I'm falling into this pathetic trap you're building."

I say nothing, though my view on it remains clear. I was not attempting to use her, I just do not know how to explain it.

"I'm sorry." I say again "But you are not second best. I will not kiss you, but if it will make you feel better, though it might sound rude to you, I mean it only as a compliment. You are by far my favorite human Valerie Raven Sierra. This determination includes AJ."

She responds with a high amount of venom in her tone, making her sound more like the viper she wishes to be. "Whatever, England. I gotta go to class."

with that she rounds the corner of the school, no doubt going through a different door than the one I am standing by. She is very sporadic in her emotions; her mood swings are undeniable. Bipolar Disorder is a definite possibility. I will research her symptoms. As soon as I understand what these feelings are doing to my mind.