Yellow

Just as every other Monday, that one was dragging and not coming to an end either. The figurines kept raining down the screen at the same boring speed; all he had to do was click on them and drag them one by one to their matching form. The rectangle to the rectangle, the triangle to the triangle, and the circle to the circle. Seeing him, looked like he was concentrated on his duty, so keen on doing what he was being paid for, for hours on end. Over and over again matching the forms without making a single error. He was concentrated but only in a way that did not matter. His body was doing what it was accustomed to do, take the little yellow figurines and put them into the empty spaces they belonged, all day long. He had no idea what was the outcome of what he was doing, or why for that matter, all he knew was that he had to do it because it was important to someone. Not to him, at all, but the rewards were worth it. In the end, it was only a part of his day, at the end of it, he would go to the register, get his reward for the day and go home. In the meanwhile, his hand and eyes would do the job, his mind would wander in faraway lands, where he would be able to do or think whatever he wanted. In a land where he would be able to be himself, and not feel ashamed of it. He knew all that was a delusion, but it was what got him through the day and that was more than enough, as long as his mind would be busy on those delusions, it would not be able to concentrate much on the yellow little forms raining down the screen, thus he would be safe from going mad. Even though there were days when he was certain that he already had gone mad, totally insane and everything happening all around him, was as insane as he was. He felt like he was the only one that could see that crazy little pattern that made all sense disintegrate, everyone and everything was just running in circles as if there was nothing else beyond what they could see and touch. The lack of depth drove him mad, he could not understand it, and he felt alone in his little world, surrounded by that lifeless yellow color.

His shift finally came to an end; the monitor made a quiet clicking noise and went black. Finally, his eyes could take some rest now. At the building's exit, like every other Monday, he gathered his week's rewards. That day was special, so he knew he would be given a bunch of flowers to take back home to his wife. They could not risk that he forgets about those and make his wife feel less. An employee greeted him and offered his congratulations on the special occasion, and from under the counter pulled out a big bouquet, yellow flowers. He breathed deeply and reached out his hand to grab it, looking at it, he realized that at least it was nicely put together. Trying hard to empty his head from all thinking, without realizing it, he had made his way to the bus stop. He had to wait a couple of minutes until the bus arrived. He got on and took a seat. It was half full since it was Monday, most of the people were going to a pub or a bar, they were all chattering as if they had so much to talk about but so little time. He tried to make sense of some of the conversations that they were having, but it was a waste of time. It all seemed so important and worth the effort. Truth was that they were so flat and dull, all they were was just an immeasurable emptiness. That is when his thoughts ran to her. She was different, at least she used to be different once. It was a long time ago and now he could not even remember when exactly was it that she became like everyone else. Or even what was it that in his eyes made her like everyone else, which now it was lost.

He got off the bus at his station, took the short path to his building and got into the elevator, took a couple of deep breaths, and unlocked his apartment door. There she was, wearing that stupid little yellow dress, god how much he hated that color. He wondered if she knew it, if she didn't then he never really meant anything to her. If she did, then it meant that she was doing it on purpose. But why would she? Maybe, the only reason was that she could. He offered her the flowers and wished her well with a faint smile on his face. She did the same and after putting all her muscles to work a smile, slowly approached him and kissed him on his cheek. After they ate dinner together, under the sad melody of the cutlery they went to bed. He was tired but he could not postpone what he had been thinking all day long. He made an attempt to gain her attention and after three more followed, they ended up making love. Tears gathered at the back of his eyes, bitter ones, how did they end up like that? They were once in love, moments like this would feel magical and full of passion, and he would clutch his jaw while she would sink her nails into his skin. Now she didn't even feel alive underneath him. He stopped for a moment and looked into her eyes, he had hoped that there would be something left in there, but he was mistaken. All he found was just two little holes empty of every little thing he used to see there. His world was shattered a long time ago; at that moment he realized that there was no way of putting it back together anymore. Holding back his tears, he wrapped his hands around her neck and kept tightening his grip until her feet stopped shaking. Her eyes were still the same, even though life had just left them, they looked the same as before, just as dead. He lied by her side, struggling for air and dizzy at what he had just done, he lost consciousness altogether. As he was drifting off, he had a wild dream; he was away from that place, away from everyone, filling his lungs with fresh and clean air, he slowly opened his eyes and saw that he was in the middle of a meadow. All he could see was green grass and yellow flowers. He closed his eyes in disdain and started struggling to wake up. The persistent alarm clock was not giving up, and he opened his eyes at least. On his nightstand, was the tray with his breakfast and a note left from her, informing him that she had gone out and would be back before noon. He got up, got dressed, and went to the bus station, he had a long day ahead of him, and many many shapes that needed to be matched, to what end, he could not say.