The Bachelor Party

Olivier laughed and then said, "It's tradition, you can't get out of this my friend. Right now, Alicia, Doreen, and Ella are doing the same with Madeline you know. Just deal with it. You're going to be married soon enough so it's your last wild night. You have to bury the boy you were and become a man soon."

Guy sighed, "I know the tradition, Olivier it's just that..."

Somehow Olivier had managed to find a dozen women who didn't mind being completely nude to serve them drinks and sit on their laps, even Diggory was overloaded as he sat in the corner under three different ladies. Algernon looked absolutely terrified as two ladies laughed and played with his hair. One of the ladies was demonstrating a technique where she would do things with a wine bottle to the cheers of the other ladies. The three ladies who were tending to Guy caused him to lock up, he was even afraid to really look at them. It wasn't that they weren't beautiful, it was just that they were shockingly provocative. For these mages who weren't used to this much contact with ladies, it was all a bit too much.

*****

Madeline had her eyes closed and her hands over her eyes as the other ladies laughed, "Maddy, quit hiding, it's your last night of freedom, you need to have fun. Knowing Olivier, the boys are probably seeing much worse." They pried her hands off her eyes and laughed, look, you get to remove the ring off it!"

Madeline blushed and said, "But it's so big!"

Doreen laughed and said, "Mhm, that's why it's so fun."

Ella who was drinking from a large glass laughed loudly and said, "Want me to show ye how it's done first?"

Alicia who looked prim and proper smiled and said, "Don't be a prude Maddy, you'll be doing much worse with your man tomorrow, get used to putting one in your mouth!" She laughed musically.

*****

The next morning the guys dragged themselves to the bathhouse and Olivier reminded them, "Last night never happened. On your soul, a word of this is never to be spoken about."

Algernon looked like he was a walking zombie as he replied, "All I even remember is Diggory giving me a potion.."

Diggory looked almost worse as he mumbled, "Too much morning dew, or maybe it was not enough..."

Guy rubbed the bridge of his nose and stammered, "Why do we all have the same tattoo?"

Olivier sighed and said, "It wouldn't be so bad, but why does the tattoo say, 'Mage Crew Wreckin' *****y'. Diggory are you certain you have a way to remove these?"

Diggory nodded and said, "Yes, we'll burn them off." Algernon, Olivier, and Guy looked at each other in shock.

*****

The ladies all looked perfect as they gracefully left the venue. Doreen smiled and softly remarked, "Remember ladies, last night was only a dream." She laughed softly.

Ella grinned and said, "Ye've got a little dream on the back o' yer dress, Doreen."

Doreen laughed softly as Alicia snorted and said, "Poor Madeline looks as if she wants to cry."

Madeline shivered and said, "How can I kiss Guy with this mouth now?"

The three ladies laughed and then Alicia made a derisive sound and said, "I have heard that the boys do much much worse at their own party dear, it's just tradition. Bear with it and make the best of your own wedding night. Just be thankful your man won't be that big."

They all laughed.

*****

The massive joint nation army moved across the continent on their way to Wütendes Menschenreich. The great army left behind a trail of destruction like a horde of locust. To support the march of such an incredible army nothing that was in the way was left untouched. An army of more than a million soldiers stretched in a column as far as the eye could see. Flags of a dozen different nations flew above the massive stream of men, horse, and wagon. The sounds of drummers, pipers, and trumpets blared as they marched to war.

Knights in silver armor set the pace of the mighty war machine. The sound of the heavy steps of their chargers was like thunder from an approaching storm. It was the sunlight glinting off that armor that first startled the lookouts on the border of Pays Des Abrutis. Soon they could see a massive cloud of dust and the miles long column of soldiers looking like a trail of ants coming steadily toward the border. A scout ran at full speed to the Duke's gate to notify the capital. From here at the border thanks to the new gate, a message could be delivered before the massive host would pass their border checkpoint. It was said that the armies of the four Dukes could be assembled and arrive at their checkpoint within a day.

Looking at the forces on the march, the border guards worried that they wouldn't survive even with all four armies gathered. One of the men balled up his fist and said, "If the Council of Magic arrives, an army twice this size wouldn't survive. I was at the battle of Rouvroy, I saw with my own eyes what just a couple of mages can do. We have nothing to fear, stay strong brothers."

The other guards suddenly felt a sense of pride as they also balled up their fists another man yelled, "Yes, the Council of Magic will surely come and protect the country."

The men on the wall all simultaneously called out, "Pays Des Abrutis! Long live the Council of Magic!"

*****

The group of military leaders gathered as they approached the border of Pays Des Abrutis. "We'll have to cross through that damned country to get to Wütendes Menschenreich, suggestions?"

A tall gaunt looking general smugly waved his hand, "Even if the Council of Magic does involve themselves, an army this size would surely overcome them."

Another general blurted out, "Insanity, do you know how many men a single mage can kill? Hundreds of thousands with the snap of his fingers. I suggest we wait at the border for permission to cross. The Council of Magic may even allow us to use one of their portals."

One of the oldest generals smiled and said, "Isn't the ruling party of Pays Des Abrutis just the Queen Mother? Let me talk to her and I'll get permission and maybe even get a taste of her." He chortled.

Most of the generals facepalmed and then one of the youngest asked, "If their Council of magic is not involved, can we be certain that our army wouldn't take catastrophic casualties fighting against their own army? I have heard from men in the Ito Conglomerate that Pays Des Abrutis is able to move an army of almost a million within a day to any point on their border."

Another general slammed his fist on the table and said, "Lies! Even my army takes three days to move that many men and supplies."

"Let's put it to a vote." One of the outlying generals demanded.

Finally one of the most highly regarded generals spoke up, "We don't stop until we have a reason to stop. If this Council of Magic wishes us to avoid the country of Pays Des Abrutis they can give us transport directly to Wütendes Menschenreich."