Villain : Conquest

Author: Lone Raut Synopsis (Narrated by Deadpool’s Chaotic Cousin Who Forgot to Take Their Meds): Alright, gather ‘round, folks! Let me spin you a tale so dark it’ll make your therapist retire. Picture this: Yours truly was just another fancy-pants “man of culture” on a serial killer’s hit list—because apparently, collecting rare books and quoting Nietzsche makes you a target. Who knew? (Spoiler alert: I died. Surprise!) But death? Nah, that’s just the opening act. Instead of sweet oblivion, I woke up knee-deep in Saint’s Odyssey—a fantasy novel I once tossed into my “dumpster fire of bad writing” pile. Think Game of Thrones meets Saw, but with more existential dread. And guess what? I’m not the dashing hero. Nope. I’m the guy the author conveniently labeled “Villain.” Cool, right? (Cue jazz hands.) But hold onto your chimichangas, because this “hero”? Oh, he’s a masterpiece of hypocrisy. Smiles like a Disney prince, stabs like a back-alley surgeon. His grand plan? Wipe out half the world because reasons. Classic hero logic! Meanwhile, the gods are upstairs chugging ambrosia and betting on our suffering. Adorable!!!. Well, newsflash, Olympus—I’m hijacking this plot. Reborn with a vendetta and a PhD in chaos, I’m not here to play nice. Rules? Burn ‘em. Heroes? Crush ‘em. World domination? Duh!. This ain’t a redemption arc; it’s a blood-soaked takeover tour. Think Machiavelli with a splash of Joker and a side of espresso. They call me ruthless? Damn right. I’ll out-scheme the schemers, out-betray the traitors, and maybe burn a kingdom or two for aesthetic. The hero thinks he’s pulling strings? Sweetheart, I’m the puppetmaster—and I just cut the threads. Every battle’s a chess move, every ally a pawn, and the board? Oh, it’s dripping in red. And hey, let’s laugh while we’re at it. Ever seen a “chosen one” trip over his own halo? Poetic. Ever roasted a god so hard they literally combust? (Working on it.) This world’s a joke, and I’m the punchline—delivered with a knife. So buckle up, buttercups. The script’s flipped, the crown’s mine, and if the heroes cry about “morals”? Tell ‘em to write a Yelp review. This villain’s rewriting destiny—one corpse at a time. TL;DR: Death was my warm-up. Now? I’m here to conquer, crack jokes, and maybe commit some light treason. World, meet your new overlord. Resistance is hilarious . Hahahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)