Between What If's

CHAPTER 17

-KNIGHT LOCK CHASE' POINT OF VIEW-

We live in novels that have been created just for us. Worlds woven by words that we circle as though we are the Earth and they, the sun. Stories we tell ourselves become who we are, and suddenly, we're orbiting time and space like we're following a script.

If yesterday is history, if tomorrow is a mystery how about today? Today is the present, the past that I relished and yet deplore. The future that I await yet apprehend. This roller coaster, called life, astounds me with a sudden feeling of wonder and astonishment at times or strikes me nefariously, without a warning. At a point it's like a congruous, concordant blend of bliss and felicity and at other times it's just outrageously wicked. It lets me experience pain and destruction, mirth at the fullest, then leaves me despondent and in a state of melancholy. And yet here I am anticipating life's thrilling adventures, waiting to enshroud its deepest mysteries. Where I wander; none have walked before. The scars that mark my body are strange to all living creatures. The abuse I have suffered at my own fate and those of others brought forth more tears than any dam could possibly hold. But strangely enough I found myself. I learned to cling to that self in hurricanes and rain. I learned to fight every moment-to remember. Cause that's life; just a long cycle of remembering and forgetting.

I awake to the steady patter of rain upon my window, droplets yet to scatter the nascent rays of rising sun. The sound brings a calmness to mind, a soothing melody, a natural lullaby. With eyes at rest I feel my center, live happily within myself for these blessed moments of solitude. I drift on calm seas, aimless as a child on summer vacation, paddling, at ease with the fluidity of time. Soon I return to the moment, the song of the rain becomes as fusion, birds bringing sweet high notes. In my mind's eye I am with them, We're happy, singing upon the roof tops, filling my lungs with fresh air, watching the world come into focus.

-FLASHBACK-

(3 years ago)

We can keep this world of stacked random poor choices, this world that evolved of goodness and cruelty or maybe imagine a new one, a fresh start for us all. Maybe, we can imagine farming vertically right next to beautiful vertical cities, living in a way that uses less land mass. We can imagine the land re-wielded with forests and animals roaming freely as they did in the past. We can imagine cooperating and providing for one another, doing what's right for humanity and Earth rather than acting as weirdly "old toddlers" who want to biggest and best of everything regardless of the cost to others. We can imagine being real adults even if we're young, perhaps especially if we're young. We can imagine a peaceful world together where humanity is happy and healthy because through imagining it can be the first step to making it real.

What do we really need?

What do we love?

What keeps us healthy and happy?

What if this reality that we perceive is not what it seems? I mean, what if it's not real? We're just imagining it, and because we don't know of any other realities, we stopped here and considered this the one and only that we could experience. But what if we suddenly decided to change it all at once? What if we made a new choice? What if we imagined something different?

Something... less limited perhaps. Isn't it funny how we always want to get rid of limitations? It must be our soul, which is separate from the mind. It always rebels against limitations. That is why we want to change the reality.

Because it is too limited.

novels, pictures, comic books, movies, video games, and so on. All of those are nothing but humanity's attempts to escape reality. And they're all good ones. In order to escape your current reality, you must create a new one.

"Aren't you going to swim with us?"

My thoughts suddenly stop as I hear her voice, looking at her, I can see happiness and contentment on her eyes.

"Hey! Are you nuts? Come join us" Lycko said again as she lends her hands as if she was sure that I will join their silly schemes.

"hmmm, no thanks I'm happy watching you guys enjoy" I stated trying to sound nice because I don't want to disappoint her.

"may I sit beside you?" she asked. I just nod in reply and she slumped her lower body on the picnic mat laying on the sand.

"Geez! I thought it was slightly soft! Ouch my butt" she complained "Hey nuts! Why are you laughing? Hey! Are you laughing at me?" as she said those lines I literally widened my eyes.

Am I laughing?

She made me laugh effortlessly, instead of entertaining her rants, I just lay my body on the mat and watch the clouds.

"Hey! Are you okay?" she curiously asked

"yes, I'm perfectly fine why'd you asked?" I ask her in return just to make a little conversation.

"hmmm! It's odd your quiet!" she stated full of joy in her voice

"I'm silent everyday, how can it be so odd today?" I simply asked

"urgh! Can you please stop asking questions after you answer my own inquiry?" She said with irritation

"Brat!" I just stated and closed my eyes.

I just want to cherish this one moment.

"Imagination is painful and tiresome. The ability to create your own world or scenarios which will never happen; can make you feel like collapsing to the ground. The ability to make yourself so happy only to snapped out of you trance by the slightest movement. The pain you can cause yourself just by reminiscing. Your imagination has the ability to mess with your flashbacks making them feel even more horrendous then the true story. So, if you could switch it off. Would you?" She said out of the blue

I automatically glance at her after hearing what she said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her

"Nah! I just wondering, how can we stop being like this" she said while playing her hair

"Do you want to stop? Are you tired?" I asked her with worriedness in my voice

"No. I just wondering, what if we had a normal life? what if we're just one of them? Happily enjoying their lives, marry who they want to marry. No bloodlust, no killings, no lies even revelations" she asked while looking towards our comrades

"this is our faith, it's inevitable I guess?" I said as I pretend to accept my own faith

"Did you accept this kind of fate of yours aren't you?" she sarcastically asked

"hmm yes" I simply ask while nodding as if she can see me. I heard her sigh and took a very deep breath.

"Hey Love birds! Let's enjoy the sun!" Price shout towards us

Lycko and eye looked at each other noticing our hands are merely intertwined. My cheeks automatically turn red and remove my hands on top of her.

"Wh-Where not a couple!" Lycko shouts back to her twin brother

"Fine! Let's go! Hermano" she said lending her hands. I just grab it and walk with her towards the shore.

"hey! If you change my mind about my question, I am gladly joining you to end this nightmare" she said as she smiles sweetly toward me.

"So, if you could switch it off. Would you?" –Lycko those lines kept on rewinding on my system

"Yes I will switch it off just to be with you"

-END OF FLASHBACK-

I chuckles as I kept reminiscing the very last moment we cherish the company of each other without thinking about revenge, bloodlust or even our sort of work. It was three years ago since we enjoy our lives as a normal people without solving any crimes or without gambling our lives.

"So, if you could switch it off. Would you?" –Lycko

I suddenly stop as I heard her voice inside my head. Tears suddenly falls on my cheeks as she continues to asked me the same question as if she was with me in this very moment.

"hey! If you change my mind about my question, I am gladly joining you to end this nightmare" –Lycko

"You didn't even manage to hear my answer, Brat!" I chuckle like a psychopath imagining that she's with me. Walking with sadness, I started to walk on my closet to choose what I'm wearing.

"It's been a couple of months since she left us" I whisper as I finally decided to take a shower and start my plain daily routine.

After taking a shower, I finally decided what to wear. I played with the colors from his pink and blue polo, using pastel tones and simple mixed prints to create a look that feels youthful, summery, and breezy. And, a simple fitted jean at the bottom as well as my boots that automatically matches my mood.

…

You'd think the road would be empty at six in the morning. Everyone should be asleep, right? Maybe except a few individuals, those wonderful folks the world can't turn without. It isn't though. My car joins a train of others; mostly other office works with the so-called vital paper to push for twelve or more hours. Since that incident, I follow the red tail lights by morning and night, never seeing the sun, not caring what the weather is. Form a river of tin and flesh, the best any one of us can hope for is a boring day.

Interesting means stress, lots of stress.

This morning the sky has an unusual dash of orange cast onto the otherwise pale grey cloud, otherwise the day promises to be like every other. The road is washed black by recent rain and the sidewalks are almost empty. As my car hits the street my mind moves rapidly to the autopilot mode. The rest of the day will play out like a terrible computer game, none of the fun but with the same black hole in my memory once it's done.

"That smell" I smile as I inhale the fresh morning air after I parked my car on the shop's parking lot.

"Fresh start isn't it Lock" I whisper as I decided to go inside my coffee shop

The shop was a treasure trove because it was curated by a human-treasure. It was the kind of shop you wondered about, that you felt your soles move toward, as if in there upon a shelf was a piece of your own life-puzzle. And there they were, the antiques, the gems of times past, the expressions of human souls that echo our own. Darcy wandered between them, taking in the curves of each, letting her brain think as perhaps the makers did.

I walked immediately on the counter and brew some coffee bean to make the finest coffee in the town. While waiting, looking around was the only thing I can do. I saw a spot were memories suddenly starts to appear.

-FLASHBACK-

"Lock and Drain was here" Price utters as Drain and I walk towards their direction.

I'm glad their okay

"Guys! We discovered something" I stated happily yet my face automatically turns into serious one as I notice that they are all serious in that very moment.

"It's everything alright?" I asked

"Yep! Everything was fine until that bastard Pendelton arrived" Lycko whisper sarcastically. I heard Price chuckles after hearing her statement.

"According to a les escritoires article on the year 1820, Rose Myers and Rudolf Myers was not a couple" Pendelton suddenly open the topic

"oh really? Break ups are popular these days" Gray teasingly asked with his British accent.

"Hey! Let's just be serious, we don't have much time for jokes and stupid stuffs" Pendelton stated as his voice was too cold to handle

I gaze upon Lycko when she frantically stops smoking as if she saw something in the woods.

"Lycko are you okay?" I stated as I notices her reaction.

"I-in the woods" She manage to talk without removing any stare at that direction.

As the words came out from her mouth, we don't move and literally freezes and minimizes the movements and slightly grabbing every guts we have.

"Look at her chest… is that a laser?" Gray utters

"Sniper" I utters as I prepared his gun.

…

Last thing I know, it hit her directly in the chest, propelling her backward. She fell into her brother's arms.

"No!" Price shouted as he carries his bloody sister on his arms

"No! No!" Gray shout out of despair

"I-I'm tired, c-can I rest?" The poor Angelycko utter as she tries to let out any words

"Don't close your eyes please!" Price cry telling her unconscious sister what to do.

"I-I Love Yo-" She can't speak. Her eyes cry as the pain go deeper torturing her.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

"I can say that everything was changed since you left" I utter as I continue to stare on the specific location on this shop.

-FLASHBACK-

(after the incident happened on the pub of their quarters)

"Will Lycko be satisfied?" Knight Drain asked

"not Lycko herself" I stated

"then who?" he asks him as if my answer was the weirdest one he have heard.

"Her demon." I said those words and leave him dumbfounded.

Each one of us decide to take a break and decided if we want to continue Knight Drain's shitty revenge, but based on the twins' expressions I guess they don't want to join anymore.

Since that night we don't hear news from each other.

…

"Sol y Luna's famous apple wine?" I utter as I read the newspaper saying that the pub released a precious signature wine.

Since the incident Sol y Luna continue to rise up on this Town's industry, Price and Gray seems to manage Lycko's pub well.

I drive my car going to the exact location of the pub. As I arrived from the place, the walls are covered with highly graphic posters over corrugated metal that say things such as "Your God can't see you here". The hired DJ booth is in a cage and, depending how wild the crowd is, they will tend to climb on and into it, adding a feeling of mayhem to the party. The bookings have so far been magnificent, the mix of more so-called accessible dance music and harder, highbrow stuff means the crowd is educated and open-minded. The pleasure of experiencing Sol y Luna, it's been a savage delight. Everyone seems to be so grateful to have a space like this exists in Town.

"Is that you Lock Lopez?" I turned back as I heard a shout from behind. It was Price who literally changed a lot, from head to toe.

"Hey" I casually greet him. He handed me a glass of wine and show me the way on his V.I.P lounge.

"What can you say about this place?" Finally, I can fully understand every word he's saying

"It's amazing!" I casually said.

A moment of silence accompanies us; each one did not know how to communicate to each other since month has passed since our last chitchats.

"how can you cope up now Lopez?" Price asked. Seems our atmosphere changed, Price turns serious and merely cold.

"Just… Just planning to rebuild my shop" I simply said as I sip from the glass of wine

"You mean the Pita Bomber?" he asks

"Yes, I was planning to rebuild it as a simple coffee shop that serves the finest coffee and bread in the city. I also done collecting information and making deals with pastry distributor." I said looking at him as if I am going to study his movement.

"I see." He coldly stated

"By the way, where's Gray?" I ask

"He's with our investors, we released a new wine formula and he was the one who volunteer to introduce the product to our investors" he explained

"The wine was unique and very prestigious, how you guys come up with that precious idea?" I ask just to make our conversation long

"it's from Lycko" he simply said. My knees suddenly trembles

Is she?

"how? Is she alive?" I asked him hoping that maybe Lycko put some scheme like the one Knight Drain created.

"No. she's not." He sigh "It was the formula that the three of us creating before that incident and as a tribute Gray and I have decided to launch it and serve here in her very own spot." He added.

"Ye-Yeah! Sorry for my silly thoughts… by the way I got to get going, see you on my coffee shop's opening day!" I stated and handed him the invitation

…

The coffee shop air swirls with aromatic dreams, little wonder it is a place where writers are drawn to. A shop of white cups and black coffee, of small jugs filled with cream, has that ambience of friendly chatter. Here I can have my own seat, gain the feeling of being social, yet have the confidence that I can enjoy my own contemplations at leisure. The coffee shops were once cloistered and close, so many tables and so little room, that was part of their charm. Now the coffee shops are open air, a sort of covered patio with tables a respectful distance apart.

"Bean" I utter as I finally cut the ribbon symbolized that my shop was finally open.

Individuals starting to come and go. You won't find people more passionate about coffee and improving the whole coffee scene in town. There's some wonderful treats too, like the famous Salted Caramel and Lemon Curd waffles. From the moment you walk in here, everything screams of passion for coffee. Staffs are super attentive to detail and the drinks are spectacular. Sourcing the beans ethically from all over the world, and even offer free tasting shots for the businessmen who wants to be an investor.

"A wonderfully bright yet still cozy neighborhood café in the heart of Realm Town" the voice from behind said. It was Gray together with Price

"I'm glad you two make it!" I said, welcoming the customers

"what do we have here Knight Lock?" Gray stated while reading the menu

"Do you want to try a cup of ordinary coffee?" I suggested. The twins started to laugh softly as I say my suggestion "Jesus! What are you laughing at? You morons!" I hissed

"Nothing, maybe we could try what you suggest" Price said as he control his laughter

"Two ordinary coffee" Gray teasingly stated. I just sigh and walk away to go on the counter.

"What's with the smile Lopez?" Bailey asks after serving our customers. I decided to give Bailey and Kelley a decent job after those dramas.

"Nothing, just get back to work" I said and smile sweetly.

I can't believe that I can see the twins' smile again.

The smooth, black liquid created a contrast with the mug that lay on the table with others of its kind. the lustrous texture, topped with crushed coffee bean outdated the effect. The vibrant aroma seemed to have extricated itself from the thick, cream coating over the surface, penetrating deep into my nose. After preparing the coffee I go straight towards Gray and Price's table to serve them their order. I seat in front of them and watch their reactions as they took a sip on the cup.

"Holy cow!" Gray utter

"I's not just ordinary Lopez! The taste was fantastic" Price exclaimed his thoughts

"I'm glad you two like what I prepare for you" I stated and smile.

"But sadly Angelycko wasn't here to taste that coffee of yours" the three of us automatically took glance towards the one who speak

It's Drain

"Knight Drain!" I gasp and automatically stood up from the chair out of shock

"Knight Lock wh-!"- Drain

"It's Lock Lopez" I correct him

"ow! Finally! You're awake! You finally stop using our names" he teasingly stated.

"Isn't that rude that you talk even though we're not talking to you?" Gray sarcastically murmur. The atmosphere changed as Knight Drain arrived and talk casually.

"What are you doing here?" I casually asked him, I manage to be cold and avoid the hurtful word he said

"Isn't it the opening of your coffee shop? So I decided to grab a sip" He teasingly stated

From that very moment, the tension rises, seems like it only takes a few word then chaos will happen between these men.

"ugh… Can we have a moment?" I ask Gray and Price. I just receiving nods from them

"Please excuse us" I stated and grab him to his arm going at the balcony of my shop.

From here, you can see the busy town and its nostalgic moments with a people whose busy to make money for their families and those people whose doing illegal matters in the corner.

"What do you want Chase?" I asked him formally

"you guys changed a lot" He utter while lighting his cigarette

"since when do you smoke?" I ask

"I just smoke to forget" he said.

Could there be any lamer symbol of the era of addiction over true moral choice than the cigarette?

"Since when do you decide to change your Pita Bomber?" Drain ask

"Since I lose faith on you" I simply stated concealing my emotions that shows on my eyes

"Do you guys hate me that much?" he asked looking straight into my eyes

"The twins may hate you as hell but as for my opinion, it doesn't matter how and what I feel towards you, because I finally decide to move on from what happened" I stated clearly without breaking the stares

"I hope one day you'll understand me specially my reason" he stated

"I can't promise that I can but if that day comes, I whole heartedly listen on your explanation Knight Drain" I said leaving him behind.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

The steam that had risen from the coffee when I first placed it on the counter was quite gone. The top bore the tell-tale signs of a skin forming. I sat there with my hands clasped around the mug, as if I like the idea of drinking it but lacked the will power to lift it to my lips.

I winced as I sipped the coffee it was pretty hot, overly bitter and lacking real cream. It was a perfect coffee for me, yet Coffee just didn't taste the same anymore, though other said that my coffee was the finest. I had taken one sip of this so called "coffee" it tasted more like boiled water with dirt.

"Maybe if I answer your question in different way, maybe we're together happy and maybe I was the one whom you love. I'm sorry, I am coward. I'm just afraid that if I tell you what I really feel, I'm afraid that you'll reject me. Maybe if I say I'll stay with you no matter how hard and painful it was, still I'm the one who stays and support you from chasing your dream life. I'm sorry for being a coward Angelycko."

See you in another life Lycko, there I will protect you and there I'll be brave to tell my feelings every second, every minute and every hour of our lives. I wish that other life was true and if it is true then, I'll find you.