Chapter 52

Atifa's pov :

Tip toeing out of my room, I made my way towards ammi's room. Hoping that she left her room unlocked, I twisted the door knob and thankfully, it was open. Opening the door slightly, I made my way to her bed. The one thing for which I was thankful for was the small light bulb illuminating her room. Ammi didn't like to sleep in darkness and I don't think I would have been able to face it after that nightmare.

Getting on my knees down on the floor beside her bed, I gazed at her peacefully sleeping figure. "Alhamdulillah." As soon as my gaze landed on her face, those words left my lips as gratitude filled my heart. I lifted my hand to lightly touch her face, only to hold myself back when I saw her stirring in her sleep. For a moment there, my breath hitched thinking that I got myself caught.

Closing my eyes, I sighed. "You remember how I used to come to you whenever I had a bad dream or a nightmare?" Opening my eyes, I paused, making sure she was still sleeping. "I miss those days, ammi. I miss you. I miss abbu. I miss everything... And you know, today is one of those days. I had a bad dream and I thought... I thought I lost you. I thought I lost you all... I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. I usually pray and tonight too, I would have prayed but... But I couldn't. So here I'm, trying to let my thoughts free... But I know I won't be at peace until I talk to Allah about it. I know it's going to haunt me until I let it all out in front of him. But I'm trying you know, I'm trying." I mumbled as I desperately tried not to cry and wake her up. Taking gulps of deep breath in between to calm myself down.

Wiping under my eyes, I gulped before continuing. "You know what is surprising? I saw him and Alayna too. Other than you guys, no one ever comes in my dreams, but tonight they did. I wonder what it means. I- I don't want them to get involved too. It's hard enough already. And I can't deal with things getting harder. You know... Sometimes it feels like I can't take it anymore. It just gets too much. I just..." I couldn't complete my sentence as I felt my breath getting heavier. I left it hanging there as I tried to control my raging emotions and calm my heartbeat down.

After taking a few deep breaths, I stood up, afraid of waking her up if I stayed here any longer. Touching her face lightly, I smiled slightly. "I love you ammi." I whispered while lightly pecking her forehead before leaving the room and closing the door behind me.

I headed back to my room to grab a novel before going downstairs. I didn't want to wake anyone up and I was feeling hungry but I also didn't want to make anything. I turned on the lights of the kitchen and the living room, just for my assurance. Brewing a cup of coffee and taking out the cake which he bought for me, I settled on the kitchen island with my novel. This was going to be a long night. I mean, whatever was still left of it.

._._._.

Returning back to my room, I realised it was time for fajr. The continuous ringing of an alarm indicated to me that. Frowning, I looked around, trying to find my mobile. Keeping the book on my bedside table, I checked beside my pillow but found nothing. Facepalming, I realised my mobile was still in my purse.

Shaking my head at my forgetfulness, I took it out of my purse before turning off the alarm. Grabbing my abaya and hijab, which were still sprawled on my dressing table, I hung them back in their places.

Just as I sat down on my bed thinking of what to do next, his alarm started ringing incessantly. I waited for a while for him to wake up and turn it off, but when he didn't, I huffed before making my way towards him. His mobile was kept on the table behind the couch and he was finding it under his pillow.

Shaking my head and suppressing my chuckle, I turned the alarm off and waited for him to wake up while standing behind the couch. But to my astonishment, he just snuggled more and started sleeping again.

Gaping at his irresponsibility, I bent forward just to make sure if he was actually going back to sleep. I was frowning at him when I saw him moving his head before squinting his eyes as he woke up with a frown. His hand stopping near his face. As soon as our gazes met, I stood back straight with a sheepish smile.

"It's fajr time." To ward off the awkwardness created by me, I tried to tell him nonchalantly while walking back to my bed. He just nodded his head while covering his face with his hands, hiding it from my view. "Why were you sleeping on the couch?" I asked him curiously, remembering tonight's events.

"I didn't want a repeat of yesterday." Glancing at me, he replied.

I was seriously offended by his reply. What did he think? That I would repeat whatever happened yesterday? I told him that it wouldn't happen again, didn't I? I was feeling sleepy but I couldn't just sleep without defending myself. Grabbing a pillow and keeping it on my lap, I defended myself with a pout. "I wouldn't have done that. It was just a one time thing and that was because I forgot that I'm married."

._._._.

"This is just too much! There is no need for any of this, really!" Bhabi was saying but was conveniently ignored by ammi as she continued to stuff the bag with more things. More precisely, food items. I silently laughed watching her exasperated expression.

Catching my gaze, she looked at me pleadingly, making me grin at her mischievously. Did she take my side when I asked her if she saw ammi giving me too much food to eat? No? Okay. Even I haven't seen anything right now. I just zipped my mouth with my fingers with a shrug.

Watching my expression, she narrowed her eyes at me while I just gave her an innocent smile. "Ammi wo kapde jo aap laai thi..." I reminded her deliberately before trailing off, all the while watching bhabi with an amused glint.

(Mom, those dresses which you bought...)

"Arreee haa, accha yaad dilaya. Jao Atifa jaldi se mere kamre se wo kapde leke aao. Wo maine already ek bag me rakhe hue hai almari ke paas." She told me as once again she rushed into the kitchen, most probably to fetch something which she forgot.

(Oh yeah, good thing that you reminded me. Atifa go and bring them from my room. I have already transferred them into a bag and kept it near my cupboard.)

"Jee ammi." I replied loudly as a chuckle escaped my lips. Bhabi looked frustrated to say the least.

(Okay mom.)

Huffing, she stomped towards me with a glare. "You should be taking my side, not doing this!" She exclaimed in a whisper with furrowed eyebrows while glancing in the direction of the kitchen.

We were in the living room after having breakfast, bhai and bhabi were about to leave when ammi stopped them to give them 'some food.' Which obviously didn't turn out to be just 'some food.' This time I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud. I could see him coming towards us, a confused and amused expression adorning his face.

"What is happening here?" He inquired with a raised brow as I tried to suppress my laughter.

"Ask your pretty wife what the matter is. She can explain it very well." Bhabi replied sarcastically, making it more hard for me to suppress my laughter.

He turned to look at me questioningly. Suppressing my urge to laugh, I grinned at him. "Ammi." Was all that I said. His expression changed from confusion to understanding to amusement in just a matter of a few seconds.

Bhabi raised a brow while looking at us. "You understood the matter already? She hasn't even said anything yet."

"There isn't anything much to say when just one word is enough to explain the whole matter." He replied, winking at her with a teasing grin.

She just shook her head, her folded arms now falling back down. "Yeah go on, start teaming up and teasing me already." She muttered grumpily.

"Who is teasing my wife?" Bhai joined us, now looking between bhabi and his brother.

"We aren't exactly teasing her but she is taking it as teasing so..." He shrugged nonchalantly, hiding his grin.

"Yeah, not teasing me. Right!" Bhabi muttered, glaring at him.

"Atifa you are still standing here? Ya Allah I even returned from the kitchen but you are still here! Jaldi jao aur leke aao." Ammi exclaimed in a worried tone as she entered the room holding a box in her hand.

(Go fast and bring it here.)

"Jee ammi. Jaa rahi hu." I replied as I steered myself clear from their views and rushed upstairs, a small smile playing on my lips.

(Yes mom. I'm going.)

When I returned while holding the bag in my hands, - which contained the clothes which ammi bought for his family - they were standing near the doorway, finally ready to go.

Handing the bag to ammi, I stood beside her, suddenly feeling sad. I guess I had gotten so used to being happy and surrounded by those few people after so long that when they were going, I had suddenly started feeling empty again. Masking my feelings of growing sadness and emptiness, I put on a smile on my face. I could think about this later on, I had thought.

Bhabi hugged me after hugging Amira and Alayna, she too had gotten emotional suddenly. "I will miss you Atifa." She whispered into my hijab.

"I will miss you too." I murmured back, tightening my arms around her. "Take care of yourself." I added, releasing her from my grip.

"You too." She replied before hugging ammi.

._._._.