A lioness and cool Nee-san

Kaname found herself in the same office she remembered from a week ago. Her friend didn't change it even a bit - was it because of lack of time or indifference? Kaname had yet to find out. The only variation, to the otherwise pristine-looking room, we're dozens of document stacks filling one-third of it. Somehow the situation resembled one in Hokage's office.

"By the way... You're that famous double-tap Utakata?"

"Double-tap? What?"

"It's extremely rare for a shinobi family to have twins. You know? You must pack quite a punch." Tōu explained herself, taking a quick feel of Utakata's bicep.

"... So you're that type, huh? We've never met, Tōu-san. It's... Nice to make your acquaintance."

"For someone that was able to score Kana-chan's booty, it's only Tōu. You've got balls, man. This girl was scary when she was still a teen. But look at her now - she is as scary as she's sexy!" Tōu pointed at black leather high heels tightly wrapping Uchiha's shins, "Damn, man, what a good catch!" her eyes traveled to the Uchiha's chest hidden behind a flak jacket.

"I'm still here, Tōu-chan. I do hear you."

"Hehehe. I know you do, Kana-chan." She chuckled, staring below Kaname's armpits at the pieces of dark mesh armor slightly exposing Uchiha's skin.

"Can you explain to us what is going on?" Utakata pleaded female-Jiraiya, changing the topic.

"It's so stupid and dull! I want to play around with you a little more!" the retired kunoichi threw a fit, "Haah... Okay-okay. Let me ask you, what do you is our current form of government, Utakata-kun?"

"Totalitarianism? Monarchy?"

"Maybe for an outside observer. It's patologynism - don't look at me like that! Yeah, I just invented that word, but it's true. Listen up, totalitarianism with an arseling of a leader wouldn't survive that long-"

"Did you just call our country's illustrious leader an arseling, Tōu-chan?"

"Oh, come on, Kana-chan! You hate that pansy as well. He isn't Raion-sama - moron got his position because all four people with better claims than him are dead. Fuck, his cat would be a better choice!"

Kaname shrugged, "I can't argue with that. But I doubt the current situation is because of Daimyō's lack of balls. So? What's going on?"

"The city became a powder keg short after Raion-sama's death. Instead, we had a leader interested only in his comfort and scared shitless of his own shadow - he wasn't man enough to crackdown on his subordinates. Those fucking nobles started their paradise life with demands for changes in regulations."

"It's that bad?"

"Ha! Have you got any idea what the punishment for trying to bribe the High Councilor is, Utakata? I found out the hard way." Tōu laughed.

"It should be nothing short of execution, but I've my suspicions it's much more docile now."

"You could say that, a fucking penalty fine."

"Hahaha!" Kaname busted with laughter, "So the nobles have a choice to pay a bribe or to pay a bribe?"

"I hate this shit. If the law was made in a way that punishment for breaking it is a fine, then the law itself was made to punish only the poor!"

"Wait, how many bribes they offered you?" Utakata questioned.

"Sharp one, huh?"

"Like a kunai." Kaname smirked, taking a look at Utakata.

"Well, if you want to know, I made lots of enemies the first day I was here."

"Like how many?"

"Ugh... Several... Dozens, okay? That was an honest mistake! Really! It wasn't bcos' putting those fat fucks behind bars brought a smile to my face! I didn't know they made this stupid law protecting their own booties, and I threw them in jail, one after the other!"

"You let something slip there, Tōu."

"Utakata, stop bullying her." His wife scolded him.

"Tsk, and it was just getting better." Utakata leaned on a bookshelf.

"Continue, Tōu-chan."

"Ugh. You were just ruffling my feathers, boy!? Hmm, I think I know why you like him - he has a bite."

"Yeah, he does. And what about Kazuma, where was he in this picture?"

"Everything went downhill when that bastard came into power. You found his ledger - you saw how many bribes he had received. Nobles bought special privileges and exemptions with their private money. It was Kazuma's way to keep the country floating."

"That's one way to tax the rich..." Utakata shot back.

"Maybe. But those privileges made the nobles untouchable in the city. Before becoming a kickass kunoichi, I was a street urchin - I know my way around slums. After Kazuma attempted to eradicate Twelve Guardians, I hid in the only place I knew. Several years ago, I found a couple of families with their daughters missing. So I started to look into it. I didn't know then that looking for these young women in the slums was useless." She groaned, "With time, this only grew worse. Common people started calling them vanishing crews - their family members were getting vanished without a sight. I started hunting down those thugs. Every time I cut down a group of them, three more sprouted out. In the next years, the abductions became daily occurrences. While tailing a new group, I witnessed who their newest target was. I almost dropped from the roof, dying in laughter."

"Who?" Kaname asked.

"You."

"Ha! Yeah, that must have been hilarious." Utakata admitted.

"Ah, I remember some men trying to pull me towards the side alley. It was them?"

"Hmm? Nah, those must have been because of... Well, you. The vanishing crews work by choking their victim with a cloth, drenched in some kind of sleep-inducing concoction."

"Did the common folk know who was financing all of that?"

"Not at the beginning, Utakata. But the nobles become sloppy... No, maybe they stopped caring about hiding the dead? Civilians started founding bodies of their kin along with pieces of high-class furniture discarded in the trash yard outside the city. It didn't take long for the general populace to connect the dots."

"That's really fucked up."

"Yeah, it is, Kana-chan." Tōu groaned, "Welp, that stupid traitor, Kazuma, worked as something like a half-opened tap - halting the nobility's most suicidal urges. Between his, let's call it... disappearance and the moment I took this office, two days have passed. Those fat fucks run rampant, discarding their last shreds of humanity altogether."

"We heard from Tsunade that one of the nobles abducted a young bride?"

"That's only a part of it, Utakata. That idiot came crashing into the wedding and demanded the lord's right to the new bride."

"A what?"

"A law dated back to the age of the Warring States, Kana-chan. High-ranked lords could demand to fuck the bride without consequences."

"Okay, I doubt this worked well." Kaname facepalmed.

"No. Color me astounded - who would have guessed that the common folk would react negatively and fight back? Fat fuck's thugs butchered almost everyone at the party in response." Tōu pointed at the window and billows of dark smoke covering the skies, "And here we are now."

"Welp. Sucks to be you, Tōu-chan."

"Geez, thanks, Kana-chan..."

"What about the palace guards? When Raion-sama was the Daimyō, the guards were... hmm, not that bad? I was impressed by how much the standards have fallen after all these years. What happened?"

"I'm not yet 100% sure, Kana-chan. From what I saw till now, the nobles provide the palace with their own troops. Frequently those mercenary groups are at odds with each other - the courtyard is turning into small skirmish practice twice a day at minimum. Some groups are also venturing out there, butchering and burning everything in their sight. All of this is a fucking logistical nightmare! An hour or so after I took the office, a group of samurai veterans came in here and handed me their resignation letters."

"Why?"

"They experienced the worst years of Fire City's history firsthand and couldn't do anything about it, Utakata. Those people have their families on the other side of the wall. Most likely, they felt more compelled to stay with those they love, instead, at the side of a white-faced ingrate." Tōu sighed, "That, and it was also because of you, Kana-chan. You showed them how useless they were."

"Huh? Ah, well... Yeah, I bypassed Daimyō private guards at night last week, but it wasn't a move aimed to discredit them."

"While you were impersonating the Daimyō, those guards were frantically running around the palace hoping that their missing charge was still alive."

"Uh, okay, I may have layered the genjutsu a tiny bit too thick there. I just didn't want the Daimyō to feel anything was different."

"Different? He took his wife on a trip outside the city! This has never happened before, Kana-chan!"

"What did you want me to do, Tōu-chan? I really didn't care what happened with him that day as long as he was out of the way. This seemed the least questionable option I had at that moment."

"Let's summarise." Utakata joined in, "The city is in flames, the common folk are rebelling; the nobles want you dead and their private troops are the only thing standing between the vivid mob and the man that ruined the country - our employer?"

"Yep, as I've said - patologynism."

"You've forgotten something, Utakata. Chiriku as the leader of the rebels."

"Wait, wha-? That's the first time I've heard of that?!" Tōu exclaimed loudly.

"So it's true, Tōu-chan? It's what Konoha's ANBU found out."

"I- No? Maybe? I'm not sure, Kana-chan. Chiriku-san wouldn't act against Daimyō no matter ingrate's ineptitude."

"Thought so as well."

"From what I heard, the people sieging the palace are chanting the name of a red lioness, whoever it is?" Tōu added.

"Hmm, what do you think about that, Utakata?"

"I think it's time to hunt down a lioness."

------

The two floated above the city in a soap bubble, "Got any idea where to start, Utakata? By now, you're much better at all that sneaky stuff."

"Basically, the leader of enemy's force should be at the only place that isn't covered in flames."

Kaname looked around, "Doesn't make it any easier."

"No, it doesn't." He admitted looking at the city filled with flames, "It's an uprising - I doubt the leader of it is leaving any money trace either way. If not that, we've to follow the corpses."

"Ah, so we look for signs of combat? Leave it to me." She activated the Sharingan and scanned the surroundings, "North-west, there must have been a regular battle there. Lots of bodies from both sides."

Utakata flew towards the direction Kaname pointed to. Soon his soap bubble left the smoke showing him one of the main streets - for every five men and women, he also found a corpse of an armored warrior. There were several dozens of dead lying everywhere.

"This is going to set back the entire country for years... Got anything, Kana-chan?"

"Yeah, I see the leftovers of the group that butchered these civilians north of here."

Utakata's eyes narrowed in anger, looking at the unnecessary death below his feet, "Kill first, ask questions later type of deal?"

"Tempting. But no, I want to know what's going on first."

A minute later, they landed in front of a small group of men.

"Huh? Who-?"

Utakata walked towards the group.

"Fuck off, man. We were here first!" a rugged man stood in front of him.

"Why did you do that?"

"I said fuck off!" Thug swung his bastard sword at Utakata.

The shinobi casually knocked the blade away, "No aversion to murder whatsoever..."

"Stop it, Utakata." A woman's voice chided him, "I've got it." he heard her steps coming from behind.

"Huh? A woman? Wow..." another one of the thugs whistled at Kaname.

"Zip it. I guess you're the leader here?" She questioned the man that attacked Utakata.

"So what if I am?"

"You seem smarter than the rest. Tell me, why did you kill those civilians?"

"Who are you to order me around, huh? I'm not going to listen to a woman."

"Sucks to be you. I'm your judge and execut-" a sudden sound of a battle horn nearby drowned her words out.

"It's them! Stand steadfast, men! Kill them once and for all!"

"Someone is coming, Kana?" Utakata whispered.

"We're surrounded. Several archers are aiming at us. Footmen are hiding in the alleys on both sides." She replied.

"Haha, so we got what we're looking for. What's the plan?"

"No lethal force, just knock them out. I don't care about mercenaries. Leave the one with the high-genin level of chakra to me. They're coming." Kaname drew her sword

A rain of arrows dropped on their position, instantly killing half of the mercenaries, while the rest survived only thanks to Kaname's Susanoo blocking a part of the first attack.

"Kill them all!" a female's voice ordered loudly from the nearby alley.

"Our genin?"

"Yep." Kaname nodded, "I'll open up the road towards her. Follow me." With her body almost parallel to the ground, Kaname leaped towards the direction of the voice, dodging another volley.

Her first enemy rushed out from the side-alley with his sword held high above his head. Kaname used her blade like a bat using the side of it to knock out the attacking man. Following the momentum, she kicked the following opponent, sending him crashing into the nearby crates. Kaname felt a familiar weight pressing on her shoulder.

Utakata jumped over her arm, drop-kicking another man sending him tumbling over two of his associates. "Coming, or will you just stare at me, Kana?" he asked with a smirk on his face.

Kaname smiled back at him and jumped into action.

-----

"There is a pair of shinobi! They're butchering us-"

"Order a retreat. I will deal with them-"

"It won't be necessary." Kaname smacked the man giving his report to the back of his nape.

"You! All of them" The young woman asked sadly, "Why did you, huh?" she was barely Naruto's age. Looking at Kaname, she froze in place. The rebel's leader had strong facial features and scarlet blonde hair. The top-left side of her face and her eye were damaged by an old wound. She wore a high-class dark-red merchant tunic and leather pants, giving her a boyish look.

"Oh damn..." Kaname walked towards the young woman and lightly rubbed her cheek, "So you're alive, Mito-chan."

"Cool Nee-san?"