Chapter 9

TW// Trauma

Would recommend listening to Old Pine by Ben Howard.

They didn't talk to each other the whole time they were preparing dinner and they stayed quiet even after they've eaten. As they were sitting by the fire Tivon's head was rushing. Why did I do that? What was I thinking? He peeked at Elias, who was staring at the lake. And he's been quiet all this time. Tivon looked away. He probably hates me now.

After some time Elias broke the quiet. »So does that scar go to your eye?«

Tivon rolled his eyes. He wasn't looking away at the ship when I was changing my clothes.

»I knew you weren't looking away.« Tivon hugged his arms. »It's nothing...«

»Can I see it?«

Tivon felt unpleasant. »I rather you not.« He moved his face further away from him.

Elias stood up. »It's okay. You don't need to, if you're not feeling like it.«

I want to show it to you. I want to tell you everything... I'm just too scared. He peeked towards Elias and Tivons face suddenly turned red. Elias was undressing his clothes.

»W-what are you doing?« Said Tivon, trying to look away, but couldn't.

»Going for a swim.« Said Elias and went in the lake.

As he moved his braid over his shoulder Tivon could see the many scars on Elias back. If he had a lot of scars on his arms, then he had the whole universe of scars on his back.

Elias looked over his shoulder and locked eyes with Tivon. »Want to join me?«

Tivons red face frowned and he looked away, annoyed that Eliass teasing always got to him. I don't want to go, I don't want to go, I don't want to go... He looked at Elias, who was just unbraiding his hair. I want to go.

Here goes nothing. He took off his clothes and left his mothers necklace on and quickly jumped into the lake dunking himself in, so just his head was peaking out. Elias peeked at him and smiled.

Tivon swam towards Elias. The water reached only to Eliass hip. He was untangling his black silky hair. Tivon didn't want to look into Elias eyes.

The water was pleasantly cool and Tivon convinced himself that it was relaxing, even though his heart wouldn't stop pounding and he felt everything, but relaxed.

»How did you get them?« Asked Tivon.

Elias looked at him. »The scars?« Tivon nodded. »You know pirate stuff. Been in a lot of fights, I've fallen down a couple of times and sometimes I like rolling down the hill with pretty boys.«

Elias didn't know that Tivon could blush so much, but here he was blushing even more.

»A-aren't you embarrassed?«

»What, being naked in front of you? Not really.« Smiled Elias.

»N-not that. The scars...«

Tivon pointed at his back. Elias looked at it. »Not really. Nobody should be.«

He's right. I shouldn't be... Tivon turned around and stood up. Elias looked down on his back. The scar covering Tivon's body was even more unusual from up close.

»I was eight when it happened.« Started Tivon. »My father forced me to go on a trial. He said it would prepare me for the future. I was supposed to go up this secret mountain near my home with a company of other people. Everyone knew that it wasn't a good idea to go that night, because a big storm was about to come. Every single one of them was telling my father that I shouldn't go. Even mothers words didn't persuade him. I was too scared and too young to disobey him, so I had no other choice but to go. On my way to the mountain the storm was getting worse and worse. I was wet, cold and frightened. I could still hear my fathers words. If you don't make it, don't even bother going back. Of course I couldn't not continue the path. And then it happened. A lightning struck me. From my head to my right hip. And if it couldn't get worse, my horse that I was riding, threw me off and I fell down the steep hill, which crooked my back slightly. I wasn't conscious after that. I was in a coma for almost five days. They later told me everything that happened afterwards. My head and back where almost ripped apart. The wet and cold weather didn't help with the already bad situation I was in. When they were carrying me back home, I got ill. My mother tried to get me the best doctors around Krens. They could fix the scar on my back and I did manage to recover. But a month later I started getting pain through my back, that got worse and worse with every year. None of the doctors knew how to fix that, even though they were the best ones around Krens. I was actually the one who figured out what helped ease the pain. I loved studying flowers and I found out about Hyssopy flowers. Crushing their dried petal leaves helped.«

Elias was patiently listening, but his expression was full of pity. Tivon continued. »My father never looked at me the same after that. He blamed everything on me. The accident, the money spent on doctors and medicine and my uselessness. He never wanted to go out with me in public, he never allowed me to go outside my home. He basically disowned me. My own father disowned me.« Tivon turned back around, but his look was focused on the water. »It didn't just leave a scar over my back and eye.«

Tivon took Elias hand. Elias wanted to move it, but Tivon grabbed it with both hands. He pulled his wet hand towards his left eye, alluding him to move his hair. Elias carefully moved his hair uncovering a scar going through his eye.

»It crushed my eye.«

Tivon opened his left eye. The eye was colorless unlike his right brown eye. But it wasn't just colorless. The eye was cracked just where his scar was going.

»Ever since I got it I've hid it.«

He remembered his fathers words. Disabled! Crippled! Degenerate! His father made him hate it.

»I hate it.« Tivon wanted to look away, to hide the monstrous eye away from Elias. But Elias held his face, still watching his eye.

»It's beautiful.«

»What?« Tivon thought he was lying, that he was saying that just too sympathize with him. But his face was telling a different story. Elias face was fixed on him, his eyes glowing.

»It's beautiful.« Repeated Elias. »I've seen countless scars in my life, but yours.« He brushed his finger on his cheekbone. »I understand why you would've hid it, everyone around you were always telling you that it's unusual, that you should be embarrassed about it. But you don't have to be. Because of this scar you are alive. Because of this scar you are here.«

Nobody ever spoke to Tivon like Elias spoke to him in that moment. He was the first person that didn't think of the scar as anything bad.

»I'm sorry if-« Started Tivon.

»You don't have to be sorry for anything. If it's anyone's fault, it's your father's fault. No father should be like this. Nobody who does that to a person should be called a father. You don't have to be ashamed of anything. Your father should be ashamed of himself.«

Tivon smiled. »Thank you.« He felt the tears gathering in his eyes, but he swallowed them down.

They were looking at each other, their chest close together. Elias gently put his left hand on Tivons face and pulled him closer. His lips pressed against Tivons. Tivon closed his eyes. He had to step on his toes to reach him better. Elias lips were warm and smooth, pulling Tivon even closer, his hands holding Eliases. When their tongues touch it was like electricity moving through Tivons body. He never felt anything like this before. He could feel Eliases heartbeat against his chest. Tivon wanted for this moment to last forever. He didn't want Elias to stop when their lips parted.

Elias leaned his head against his forehead. »I'm sorry that happened to you.«

He opened his eyes and he noticed the silver necklace Tivon was wearing. He took it in his hand. »How did you get this?«

»It's my mothers.« Said Tivon still dizzy from the kiss.

»That's the lily of The Kingdom of Naydawin. That necklace...« His eyes widened. He looked Tivon in the eyes. Tivons face turned pale as Elias said »You are-«

Tivon grabbed his hands. »Please don't tell anyone. They'll kill me.«

»N-no. No. I won't tell anyone.« Stuttered Elias. »I just... I didn't... You are the son of The King and Queen. You are a prince!«

Tivon stepped aside. »You don't have to think highly of me.«

»Don't worry, I'm not.« Smirked Elias.

»Oi!« Tivon gave him an irritated look.

Elias smiled and hugged him. »But seriously, they must not know. We really aren't on a good terms with the Naydawin. If the crew finds out, they are going to sell you to someone or worse kill you on the spot.«

Tivon swallowed hard and looked up at him. »If they didn't realize it by now, I think I'm okay.«

»That's true.« Said Elias and smiled at him. »And I promise I won't let them find out.«