Nurse Suomi
Kok knelt by the river, suppressing her sobs, his sadness could only be released through the constant flow of tears.
The river, flowing north, had just sent Suomi away. Her body lay on a raft, drifting down the river into the mountains until it disappeared from the sight of her relatives. After her family had left, Kok dared to walk to the river to say goodbye to the kind-hearted person who had helped him. He knelt beside the water, staring at the direction in which the raft disappeared. As he looked up, he saw Suomi's face reflected on the surface of the river. The reflection showed Suomi gazing back at him with sorrowful eyes. She said quietly: I have been watching you ever since I came here. I can no longer bear your grief. Just now my own heart broke as if it were being torn apart. I am dead. My soul will be gone to heaven like an arrow. Before long all this will be buried under dirt. How cold it is! Don't look at me anymore; let's forget our sorrow for each other. Let me leave this place without saying goodbye. I'm going away. Take care of your newborn nephew, if even you don't take care of him, there's really no one to care for him. He's so cute, and in the time I've been taking care of him, he's brought me so much joy, just like my own child.
In the darkness of the night, Kok stood alone, weeping uncontrollably, while the wind howled and made white clouds whirl. The sky was clear—the moon shone brightly over the river. It seemed to him that Suomi was still standing beside him, looking down at him. She's gone, Kok thought. With his face turned toward the river, he called out Suomi's name aloud. But when he looked again, Suomi was already beyond the reach of his gaze. His head hung low, he started walking slowly along the bank. When he reached a fork in the road, he stopped momentarily and sat down on the ground, feeling very tired. Did Kok have feelings for Suomi in the past few months? Yes, he must admit it. Isn't it human nature that beautiful people always attract others?
After Suomi promised Kok to help him take care of his little nephew, he would sneak in to visit them every once in a while. He had no answer to his grumpy wife and her sharp questions. To avoid unnecessary trouble, he had to hide the matter. He told her he was busy with the business recently, and that he wanted to expand it. When his wife began to suspect something, he always gave her a random excuse to avoid her endless questions.
"How is he doing? Is he being good? " Kok asked Suomi about his nephew's condition.
"He's a very good boy. He just eats too much, more than the average baby. I feel like he's sucking my milk dry." Suomi said with a bitter smile.
Kok looked at the baby in Suomi's arms and couldn't help but tease him with his hand, but he accidentally touched Suomi's breast. Kok pulled his hand back as if he had been electrocuted. But Suomi didn't seem to notice this incident and kept on teasing him herself. Although he only touched it inadvertently, he could feel her breast through the thin fabric. It was warm and soft. As Kok gazed at the baby, the baby's hands kept grabbing Suomi's breast and pulling at her clothes. "He must be hungry again," Suomi laughed.
Suomi put the baby down and prepared for feeding him, and Kok watched her breasts from behind as she did so. They were as large and round as two swollen balloons, yet they were clearly the same size. He had never seen such a pair before. It wasn't sexual desire, but rather an admiration, that caused him to stare. Suddenly he felt ashamed of himself, but his eyes returned to her chest with unerring determination.
Suomi unbuttoned her blouse to reveal a white breast, holding it in her hand and pushing the pink nipple into the baby's mouth. He immediately stopped struggling, clasped his hands around the full breast, and began to suck. His throat continued to make sounds, which meant he used all his strength in desperate to suck milk.
"Told you!" Suomi looked up, smiled, and said.
Seeing her hemispherical white breast exposed in front of him, Kok was at a loss, not knowing where to look, wanting to look, but not daring to look.
"Oh, yes! There is one more thing, I forgot to tell you: this baby's body has been hot, like a fire burning inside, and does not like to wear clothes and cover, which I thought was a fever. But you don't have to worry, I had the doctor check it, he's very healthy, only his body temperature is much higher than the average person." Suomi reported to Kok about the child's condition.
In her words, Kok heard the voice of Suomi, who was like an angel to him. He could hear her sweet laughter and see her smiling face. He was enchanted by her beauty and kindness.
At first, he thought of Suomi as his sister, but soon realized she was way too much than that. Such a pretty girl should belong to someone else. As he grew closer to her, he began to think of her as his maid or perhaps his lover, and he began to love her with a passion that was both tender and strong, so intense that sometimes he almost imagined their love affairs. When he was with her, he lost all sense of time. Sometimes he wished he were alone with her, so he could caress her breast directly. He liked Suomi's breasts very much because they were larger than most women's. They were not only big but also firm and round, and she had a small waist. He had never seen such perfect breasts in his life. Some people might find it strange that a man would fall in love with a woman just because of her breasts, but Kok's feelings were natural. From the beginning, he was attracted to Suomi's figure, and his attraction grew stronger gradually until it became overwhelming. Many men have fallen in love with girls just because of their appearance, but few have fallen in love with a woman based solely on her breasts.
"Do you want to touch it?" When Kok didn't say anything, Suomi continued.
"What?" Kok looked a little alarmed as if his mind had been read.
"The baby. You touch his forehead, feel whether his body temperature is higher than the average person."
"I'm fine, I'm fine. If the doctor said it's ok, then it must be ok." Kok hastened to refuse.
"Touch it!" Suomi insisted.
The baby was breastfeeding, and his forehead was almost on Suomi's white, soft breast. If Kok tried to touch the baby's forehead, his hand would inevitably touch Suomi's bare breast.
At Suomi's repeated insistence, Kok slowly extended his right hand, and although he suppressed his excitement and pretended to be calm, his hand trembled gently and uncontrollably.
At that moment, someone kicked open the door with a loud bang, and the two were startled, as long as the baby was still calmly breastfeeding.
Bessy burst in. Seeing the situation, she ran straight to her husband and grabbed him, shouting angrily: "You're a shameless pervert!" She dragged him out of the room in a rage. Kok was dumbfounded, unable to understand the cause of the uproar for a moment. But he knew what happened. He knew why Bessy was angry at him.
When Suomi explained to Bessy that she had taken care of the child because she was a nurse, she was misunderstood as a mistress, much less a prostitute. Bessy insisted she had seduced Kok, and he had fallen madly in love with her. Bessy was furious that her husband had deceived her. When she saw that Kok was still friendly with Suomi, she lost her temper completely.
It is easy to imagine Kok's reaction upon hearing such accusing. He had many reasons for loving Suomi. She was so lovely, and he respected her greatly, not just for her ability to take care of her nephew, but also for her kindness and trustworthiness. In addition, he loved her because she was the only person in this world whom he trusted fully. Of course, Suomi's breasts fascinated him, but he didn't love her for those reasons. All in all, their relationship had never transcended the boundary.
As for Suomi, she did not have any feelings for Kok. She had no expectations of him, nor did she want to be his companion. She simply enjoyed spending time with him, and he was the only one she could talk to at times. She felt an attraction to him, but she believed she was not his type. He was already married and had a family. For Suomi, there was nothing special about him or his personality. Her interest in him stemmed purely from working for him, getting paid, and loving caring for his baby nephew.
Most people might think that Suomi's suicide was because of the scene Bessy made in the clinic, the gossip throughout the town, and her husband's brutal treatment of her after this accident; however, the reason she did so was rooted in the society she lived in. It was a poor kingdom, where people could barely survive on their own. While young women, whose status was highly valued, coming from wealthy families with influential fathers and brothers, were expected to marry well and stay home to bear children and raise them; it was hard for those women who lived independently, and when they met a man who showed interest in them, they were forced to accept his proposal, even though they may not feel the same way, because they felt that if they didn't agree, it would be difficult for them to maintain their social position. Suomi was one of them.
In the middle of the night, back home from the river, Kok lay sleeplessly in bed. As he tossed from side to side, he recalled how he came to know Suomi. He remembered how he was impressed with her beauty at the first sight. Then, he fell in love with her because of her beautiful breasts, and the more he saw her, the more he became fond of her. He admired her ability to take care of his nephew, and she seemed a trustworthy person. He was so happy in Suomi's presence that he forgot his loneliness.
He was lying in bed, thinking of her, when he suddenly heard the sound of his wife's steps outside the bedroom. Kok covered his head with the blanket, while disgust, hatred, helplessness, hopelessness, and all the kinds of emotions came together inside him like a storm. He was at a loss for thought. He was afraid Bessy might enter the room at any moment and attack him with a knife. She had already thrown him out of the house twice for "having an affair with Suomi". He did not know how to explain things to her.
Suddenly, he heard her footsteps return to the living room. Moments later, Bessy entered the bedroom with a candle, lit the lamp on the table, and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Kok lifted the blanket, leaned over, and saw her sitting by the light. He noticed that her face was slightly pale, and he guessed she was very upset.
"Why are you crying? Why do you cry?" he asked.
"Because I'm unhappy," Bessy responded. "This is my fault."
"How can this be your fault? What do you mean?"
"I feel guilty about her death. Did I cause her death? Did I do something wrong? I just did something any wife would do. Why is the fate of women so tragic?"
No one could have predicted that Suomi would suddenly commit suicide a few months after the clinic incident. Bessy knew that today was the day of Suomi's burial, and she knew that her husband had been to her funeral today. She just didn't have the strength to be angry: after all, Suomi had passed away, and all the resentment around her should be gone with her altogether.