Orange Cursor

--- Asuna ---

I knew something was off. Having spent considerable time observing Haru, I could tell.

That morning, he smiled at me with an expression I couldn't quite decipher. Unlike his usual intense demeanor, he seemed lighter, almost as if he was just out for a casual stroll.

He had shown behavior like this before, so I didn't think much of it at the time.

This would become one of my greatest regrets, because from this moment, everything started to go downhill.

---

Barely a few hours later, while I was in town searching for a shop to buy some groceries, an announcement began spreading among the players.

"D-Did you hear about him...!?"

"Yes, I did..."

"I can't believe it."

Listening out of curiosity, I soon learned the latest news.

Haru declared he would ban the existence of all orange player guilds from now on, and that any orange player caught in his line of sight would be as good as dead.

...

The people around me reacted in shock; some wore somber expressions, but I didn't care. In my heart, I knew something was terribly wrong.

I hurried back to the inn where we were staying.

As I approached, I saw him standing outside, looking pensive.

I stopped in my tracks when I noticed something.

His cursor was orange.

'It can't be...'

After that kind of declaration, it could only mean one thing.

He had killed people.

I felt like glass had shattered behind me, its sound reverberating incessantly in my ears.

"Why..." My voice was barely a whisper.

Haru turned, noticing my presence.

Why did you do this without even asking me anything? We could've found another way—

I wanted to convey all this, yet my voice wouldn't listen to me.

He approached me.

"It was something I wanted to do. Me sharing the same space as those people, it disgusted me."

Harsh and straight to the point, as always.

Even so...

Sadness welled up inside me.

He had dirtied his hands, and although I knew this was what he was like, I still couldn't accept it. He carried this entire burden alone, believing I shouldn't be involved.

Tears stung my eyes.

He gently patted my shoulder.

"You weren't prepared for this kind of thing, nor should you be," 

I looked at the ground, not willing to lock our gazes, as I heard those words spoken softly.

"I want you to enjoy the game."

I had so much to say, so much more.

"Was there really a need to go this far? And why, if all you killed were killers with orange cursors, did your cursor turn orange?"

It's well known that killing an orange player is considered self-defense by the system...

"The people that were planning on joining Laughing Coffin were not to be spared either,"

His voice was cold.

"They hadn't killed anyone yet, so their cursors were green. But I couldn't let them walk away. They knew perfectly well what it meant to kill players in this game, yet they still wanted to do it."

I couldn't help but retort.

"but in the end, they didn't kill anyone yet! After this warning you issued, I'm sure they would've—"

It's wrong.

This isn't what I wanted to say.

For that reason, I stopped.

It almost sounded like I was blaming him.

It's not what I wanted to do...

He shrugged.

"The strong make the rules. If the message was not heavy, people would think they could get away with it. To me, they were merely the most efficient example."

He sighed, his expression softening. "Also, this sin of mine shall remain my own alone. I don't want to share it with anyone else, you included. Since this divergence in our thoughts would only hinder our teamwork in the future, I'll also disband our party."

I was taken aback. Although we were arguing, I never meant for us to suddenly disband the party.

"Wait, Haru, no—"

He shook his head, cutting me off. "You've grown a lot during the time we were together. I really appreciated your company, but from the start, I planned to clear this game alone, just like Kirito."

More tears welled up as his words sank in. He was really leaving...just like that.

"You'll be fine on your own," he continued.

"You're possibly the only one I'd be afraid to fight against. Just be wary of the Guilds. Don't trust them. Form another team, maybe even with Kirito himself. That guy can be a good asset to you, perhaps even making a decent substitute for the Withered Rose"

I felt like crap. Emotion overwhelmed me, and I slapped his hand away from my shoulder.

"When did I ever say I wouldn't accept you, Haru!? Are you stupid!? Also, why are you trying to push me towards someone else!? I don't want a substitue, I want you!"

...Wait.

Have I perhaps said something outrageous out of anger?

Before I could conclude this train of thought, I was interrupted by the sound of laughter.

"You've become quite feisty! When we first met, I never expected you had this side to you."

Though I was angry, his words made me feel like a deflated balloon. I understood I'd gone too far.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, my voice cracking. "But I still don't want to disband our party. Never!"

"Even though I killed people? Do you even know what that means?"

Now I'm really getting angry.

"Shut up. You cannot decide what I am fine with"

He didn't really seem intent on stopping.

"I've killed more people than you could ever imagine, even in real life. How about this, does this surprise you?"

...

This b*stard

I grabbed him by his collar out of instinct.

"Do I look like I care? You may have even killed t-thousands of people, Haru. I know you must've had your reasons..."

My voice wavered, but I pressed on. "Moreover, we decided to be just companions, didn't we? That means no matter what you did in real life, it's not my concern."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "All I know is the Haru that has been protecting, teaching, and guiding me all this time, making sure I was always safe, well cared for, and, most of all, aware that people are more than what they seem. I chose to believe in him. You cannot take that away from me, no matter what."

For a normal teenager like me, hearing that someone might have committed something akin to genocide was almost beyond comprehension.

But should I really dwell on that?

The answer's no.

I don't need to know every detail about his past.

I chose to believe in the man I have come to know, because if he were as bad as he's trying to make himself out to be, he wouldn't be revealing such despairing facts about himself in an attempt to scare me off.

From my speech, Haru seemed convinced.

"You're amazing. Has anyone ever told you that?"

I still didn't let go of him.

He sighed again.

"...Fine, fine. We won't disband this party. Can you stop now?"

I was so caught up in my emotions that I didn't even realize, our faces were really, really close...

My face was beet red.

I immediately let go

"S-Sorry again, but that was kind of your fault. You made me all worked up..."

I believed we had finally pushed aside our differences. By showing him how much I trusted him, I hoped we could become even more united.

Since we had already had quite the conversation, we both decided to retire to our respective rooms for the night.

"Then, I'll see you later, Haru."

"Yeah, goodnight, Asuna."

"Goodnight."

I closed the door behind me, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. The tension that had built up between us had finally been released, and I believed we could move forward without disbanding our party.

For the first time in a long while, I slept peacefully.

Unbeknownst to me, by the next morning...

He was gone.

--- 

Author's Note:

Well, I have 2 exams tomorrow, so pardon me for the inconsistency this week. I'll be sure to make up for it in the weekend, hehe.

Anyways! Haru pulled the dip card! He's just like me!!