Bar of Gold

A piercing headache woke me from my deep, alcohol-fueled slumber. My throat was dry, and my muscles cramped. I instantly knew I had a fun night. Remembering it would take a while, though. I am prepared for whatever scene is in front of me. What can beat being balanced sky high over a couple of boulders, anyway?

Slowly, my eyelids spread apart. A hazy white film covered my vision before slowly being replaced by my surroundings. It seems I am still in my room, on my bed, in fact. Perfect. I shifted my gaze from my right to above me, and then to my left—

Hm? Hm?

"Hm? Hm?" I blinked.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!?

"HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!?!?!"

"Huh? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A voice screamed right back. Eric slowly woke up and saw me next to him. He threw the blanket up and jumped down from the bed in a defensive stance. "D..D..Don't come close to me! What did you do? You bastard!" He said.

I took a deep breath, made a deadpan face, and gave him a suspicious wink. The man shriveled up and scrunched his face as if he was looking at trash.

"How dare you!! What do I do now!? Ahhhh!! I'll never get married!"

This guy is super fun to tease! Before I could think of any more ways to tease him, the door to the room opened, and a rose-haired figure appeared. "Do you have to make so much noise in the morning?" Nea said. Her voice cold like ice. She looked at us as if we were maggots off to school. Do maggots go to school? Wait, is she actually looking at that guy like that? Either she is abhorrently tasteless, or this guy did some messed-up shit last night.

Eric, on the other hand, was a mess. His face was as pink as Nea's eyes as he stared at her. Hey, what's with this guy!? "Eric! Don't make that mistake! Come back to normal!!"

"I said SHUT UP!"

**

I placed the breakfast on four seats. A spread of rice, miso soup, seaweed, tamagoyaki as side dishes, and tofu as the end-all. A magnificent display of my superior skills, if I say so myself. Eric, Nea, and Kou were already seated at the table as they waited for me to join them. Kou couldn't hold any chopsticks and had to use spoons and forks to eat. Why can that damn Silcat do all of that? Who the heck even trained it?

"So, pretty boy? How's it taste, eh?" I pumped my eyebrows at our guest.

"Nom. Nom. Pretty damn good! You are a man of many talents, huh, Ivan?"

"In fact, my brother is only useful in such stuff. His trivial talents are his only saving grace," Nea said.

"Ay, you unfilial girl! Shut up, or I'll steal your Tofu!"

"Nya~" Why can't the cat speak? It can do everything else!

"Don't eye my food, or I'll cut you with your Wakizashi!" Nea snapped back.

"Wakizashi? You use a Wakizashi, Ivan?" our inquisitive guest asked.

"Ah? Yeah, I learned it here."

"Man, I remember experimenting on Wakizashis."

"Experimenting?" Nea asked.

"Oh? Ah! Yes, I, umm, worked as a researcher in the big cities."

"That's pretty cool."

We chatted away like that for a few hours, after which Eric went back to his own place. We would probably hang out again in a few days.

For now, I had someone else to worry about. I gave Nea a slight nod, and she went to her room. She would stay there in case an emergency arises. At exactly 11 AM, the door slid open and revealed our next guest.

A lady with straight brown hair came up inside the room with a bright smile. She wore what looked like a business suit with a black skirt.

"My, my. You don't have to receive me so properly every time, dear customer," she said. I gestured her to take a seat on the couch and spoke as she settled down. "It's only natural to receive someone as precious as you with the utmost propriety."

"Hohoho!"

"Hahaha!"

"Let's drop it?"

"Yes, please."

The lady rolled her eyes and leaned back. She took out some documents from her bag and placed them on the table. "There, that's everything for this week. How does it feel? Your one year ends tomorrow," she said.

"It feels amazing. I can finally leave this boring town."

"Tending to a customer in this part of the world was pretty tiring for me as well."

"I know. Well, you have anything else for me, manager?"

"Do I? I only come here since the stuff you need is sensitive."

I smiled at her and placed a bar of gold on the table. The Manager licked her lips and raised her eyebrows.

"My, I think I did hear about some trouble brewing in Vlysimn~."

I placed two more bars of gold on the table.

"Ohoho! The air of a rebellion is being spread. That's all I heard from the wind, though~."

What a scam! A rebellion in Vlysimn? I could probably use that. I'll have to stand down. This time, I placed five bars and glared at her with cold eyes.

"Keep me posted?"

"But of course, dear customer! I'll take my leave now. I'll be back with your intel!" she said as she scuttled away from the room with all the gold in her hand.

"Send someone else!" I shouted at her retreating figure.