I - two; a rainy day

THE LIST was adorned with many emoticons and sweet wording. She couldn't fathom that she had written it. It wasn't her usual style. And she didn't comprehend why anyone would do this to her phone. But realizing the situation, she temporarily put aside her disbelief. That said, the list's first point still confused her. It was an address with "home!!!" written next to it. Was this someone's home address? What could it be doing on her phone? She had never seen this address before and couldn't think of any reason why it would appear on her device. She racked her brain trying to figure out what the mysterious entry meant, but she just couldn't seem to make sense of it.

She mulled it over. This person had to know something; a clue of some kind. But what if she was wrong and put herself in danger? She'd died once. She didn't want that again. The young girl chewed her nails. Were there any other options? She stared ahead. People surrounded her, but none of them had the will or ability to help her. Her only recourse was the information she had and herself.

Ok, she had decided. She would go there. Even though her mind raced with doubts and worries about what might happen, she steeled herself for the journey ahead and set off on her way. She opened up the Maps app on her phone, typing in the address. When it loaded, she was surprised to see a normal-looking apartment complex. It had the same basic structure and feel as her own home, although it was in a place she had never heard of and had a different atmosphere altogether. Still, there was something oddly familiar about this place that made her feel strangely at ease. She knew it must have been a coincidence, as this type of buildings was common. Still, it eased her nerves, so she took the bus.

The ride was long and seemed to last forever. Usually she would have been able to pass the time by listening to some music, effectively blocking out the noise from other passengers, and dozing off in the back of the bus. She couldn't do that right now; not only because she had to be careful about not missing her stop, but also because her mind was far too preoccupied with what had happened to even think about sleeping.

She was grateful for being alive, yet all she wanted, more than anything else, was to be at home - even if home had always been a place she hated - surrounded by her friends and family. It hadn't occurred to her until now just how quickly they could disappear out of her life.

It wasn't perfect, but it was there. Don't get her wrong; she'd always wished deep down to leave her rural town, just like 99% of its inhabitants who ventured off into bigger cities or abroad to pursue their aspirations. Indeed, she'd grown up in the same rural town all her life and knew it like the back of her hand; she could navigate its streets with ease, even when they were cloaked in darkness. But one day, like many others before her, she realized that this familiarity had become a prison for her dreams and ambitions. Most of the time, she felt like her life was suffocating her, as if all she breathed in were the ashes of forgotten dreams and broken promises. She never wanted to end up feeling this way forever; instead, she wanted to be true to herself and achieve what she had always dreamed of becoming. Even though it wasn't always clear who that person was or what those dreams entailed, they remained a source of hope for her future.

She knew she couldn't do that there. She knew she wanted, no, had to leave. But one thing was for sure; she would've never left without saying goodbye to those who were important to her. However, now she wouldn't get the chance to do that, ever.

She felt so powerless - even leaving wasn't on her own terms anymore. Everything had been taken away from her and all she could do was accept it with a heavy heart and move on. She felt so pathetic, as if nothing else mattered anymore except for this feeling of sadness inside her chest. She didn't want it to end that way. She wanted the chance to say a proper goodbye, with an embrace and kind words. She had so much she wanted to tell them; how much they meant to her and how grateful she was for them. Now, all of those thoughts would remain unspoken.

But she didn't cry. She couldn't bring herself to shed even a single tear. Because now that chapter was over; the page had been turned and there was no going back. It felt like closure - like an ending to her story, and it was time for her to move on.

• • •

A few minutes had passed since she first opened the door of the unfamiliar apartment. To her surprise, her keys worked to unlock it - even though she had no idea whose place this was. It was strange that this place should open so easily to her, as she hadn't even known it existed before now. She stood in the doorway for a moment, taking in her surroundings and wondering what she was even doing here - until finally deciding to take a step inside and explore further. She stood in the doorway for a moment, taking in her surroundings and wondering what was doing here. Oh yes, she didn't know the place. She was sure of it; she'd never been here before. The inside was incredibly different from her old home. This apartment was dark, almost like a cave. The lamps barely lit up the room, providing just enough light to make out shapes and shadows in the darkness. It felt stuffy and damp, probably because of the small drops of water falling from the ceiling. The owner of the house had installed buckets around the room to catch these droplets as they fell, but it seemed like an unending battle with no real victory in sight. Every drop that hit one of these buckets made a ting sound that resonated throughout the room, like a timely alarm reminding everyone present about their poor living conditions.

It felt like entering a completely new world - one that she had no idea how to navigate.

Her gaze fell upon one of the many buckets in this room. This one was perched atop a flimsy desk, its sides groaning under the weight of the water that it contained. She could see it trembling slightly as more and more liquid poured into it, threatening to spill over at any moment.

Her old home was far from perfect, but this one was even worse.

Yes, her mother had raised her practically alone - she was a strong woman, or maybe prideful would be a better word to describe her. No matter their situation - whether it be their financial situation or the dysfunctional relationship between her parents - her mom always made sure that things looked perfect from the outside, including their home. She kept up appearances and let no one see how tough life could really be for them at times. All she did, from decorating the walls with family photos to arranging furniture in an aesthetically pleasing way, was all part of creating the perfect illusion of a functional home. It didn't matter if it wasn't true - her efforts were enough to make everyone believe that this was a place where love and laughter could be found.

Her hard work paid off as visitors would always comment on what a warm and inviting atmosphere she had created in her home. Which is why, when Yeon-ae had made her coming out to her, despite the disgust and disappointment written all over her face she said nothing. She just asked if she had told anyone else. To which Yeon-ae said no and all she did was nod.

A nod that might have looked like a form of acknowledgment, but it was far more than that - it was an unspoken agreement between them both that this secret would never leave the room.

It wasn't a gesture of acceptance or understanding; instead, it meant one thing: no one could know about this ever again.

Her queerness was an active threat to her mother's perfectly curated image, and so she had to hide it away - just like the wallpaper that was used to cover up the mold on their walls. She hid herself behind a facade of being the perfect daughter; one who would always run errands for her mother, greet elders with respect and laugh gleefully when expected. After all, if she didn't give everyone exactly what they wanted from her, was she even worth giving birth to?

But here, there was no hiding. All the damage was right in front of her eyes; it was impossible to look away from the mold that had grown along the walls and ceiling, or ignore the cracks that ran like spiderwebs across them. There wasn't even a family picture hung up to distract her attention from all the holes in the wall. This only served to further irritate her, as she scrunched up her face into an expression of anger and glared at the small aluminium bucket on the desk which struggled to contain the water escaping from the ceiling. She roared out loud in a raspy voice, almost as if challenging it for daring to exist when everything else around it seemed so broken down and destroyed.

"What the fuck am I doing here?"

Her anger and frustration boiled over and she kicked the small desk. She soon regretted that choice as she felt a sharp pain in her foot - she hadn't expected this flimsy desk to hurt, but it did. She could feel her foot throbbing from the impact of the kick and cursed under her breath. And on top of that, her kick seemed to suffice in making the small bucket finally topple over and spill all over the floor - creating an even bigger mess than before. This was one hell of a shitty day for sure - and that was most definitely an understatement.

• • •

She sighed deeply, feeling the weight of her exhaustion and sadness. She had been through so much in such a short amount of time; it felt like an eternity.

She looked around the room, desperately searching for something that could help her make sense of the situation. Her eyes scanned every corner and crevice before finally settling on a small pink compact mirror sitting atop the desk she had previously kicked in frustration. She reached out with trembling hands to seize it, wanting to open it but scared shitless of what she'd see inside.

She hadn't really gotten the opportunity to clearly see and study her reflection since the accident; what if all of her princely features had been replaced with a completely different set of features? She was scared to find out. Would she even recognize herself? The thought made her stomach churn.

After all, she had just gotten in an accident and mysteriously woken up, with no injuries and with all her belongings in pristine condition. She found herself in the middle of a random street in a city she didn't know; completely unfamiliar to her. And she then went to a random person's apartment - an act that seemed foolish even to her.

Nothing about the situation made any sense; it wouldn't be that surprising if her features weren't her own anymore. She had watched plenty of isekai anime, so she thought that when the day came for her to be transported into a new world by "truck-kun," as it was often referred to in those shows, she would be ready. But reality proved far different from what she expected. This whole situation sucked ass, and it was almost too much to process; not only did she have to accept the fact that she was dead, but now also living in a body that wasn't even hers? Absolutely not!

As she carefully opened the mirror, a wave of relief washed over her; her face was the same as it always had been. She ran her fingertips along her cheeks and jawline, feeling the familiar contours that were so uniquely hers. Her eyes narrowed as she studied herself, satisfied with what she was seeing. Irises so dark one could mistake them to be black, framed by long lashes and eyebrows which arched perfectly above them. Her nose was strongly defined and further stressed her angular jawline, giving an overall impression of an androgynous look, which she was proud to call her own.

She sighed. Ok, now that she knew she hadn't turned into a whole other person, it was time to figure out what to do next. Clearly, she had transmigrated. She didn't really have any doubts about that part, even if not for how real it all felt she would've definitely believed she was just hallucinating all of this. And the To-Do list must have been left by the soul she got bound to in this world and this was their apartment. Logical, right?

Apart from the few items of furniture, the apartment was empty. All she had found in the apartment was a bunch of pocket money, cheap school supplies and a uniform carefully placed on the desk's chair. She grabbed her phone and looked once more at the all too dazzling To-Do list, its second entry screaming at her "go to new school!!!!!". Well, that was forward enough. She took the uniform in her hands. Compared to the rest of the place, the uniform was in perfect conditions, hell it almost sparkled. It was made up of a classic button-up and blazer paired with a scandalously short skirt. Her face scrunched up. No way was she wearing this. She totally respected and admired people who could pull off wearing skirts like that, but she couldn't. She would just buy a pair of uniform pants as soon as she got to school.

She analyzed the uniform further. It looked weirdly familiar. She brushed off the feeling. Most uniforms were similar. She must've watched a show with uniforms close to that one. She threw the uniform back on the chair before letting herself fall on the hard bed, which stood in the room's corner.

She had a long day. Too long. She deserved a good night's sleep.