This Time, the Meeting of the One Called Smartass

I'm falling.

I'm still falling.

I'M STILL FALLING?!

WHY AM I STILL FALLING?!

IT'S THAT ALL SHITHEAD'S FAULT! I JUST KNOW IT!

*sigh* Calm down. Take stock of the situation. Make a list, that'll help.

I'm falling.I fell past clouds about 10 minutes ago.I've been falling past something that is really tall, and looks like it is made out of wood.OH SHIT, THE GROUND!

*splat*

<You have died, you gained a new skill.>

<Cause of death: Impact with the ground from a very long fall. Just how high up were you? And why did you jump? Are you an idiot?>

What is with that last comment? Does this thing have an ego? It looks like a screen you would see on a video game, with a blue background and white letters, but where did it come from? It's just floating in the air at a constant distance from my face…. Oh, wait, I died, how am I alive? And why do I have this feeling of air rushing around me still? *Looks over his shoulder* OH SHIT, I'M STILL FALLING!!!

<Because you now know personally of a new way to die, WIS +1>

"WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL FALLING THEN?!!!!!"

<Answer: Because your revive point on all levels is high in the sky.>

"THEN SET MY REVIVE POINT ON THE GROUND!!!!!""

<Revive point has been set to the ground for all levels.>

"THANK YOU, THAT MEANS I WILL STOP FALLING RIGHT?!!"

<Answer: Yes.>

"...…."

"OK, WHEN!!!!?"

<Answer: When your body impacts the ground with enough force to stop your free-fall.>

"SMARTASS!!!!!!!!!!"

<That is an invalid command, there is no information about "SMARTASS" that I can display.>

"THEN WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!"

<Answer: My name is Blue Screen.>

"Oh, hello. Nice to meet you Blue Screen. Wait a second. I'M STILL FALLING!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

*splat*

<You have died, you gained a new skill.>

<Cause of death: Impact with the ground from a very long fall. What, again? WIS only increases the first time you die that way though. You really are an idiot?>

It seems like it's automated mainly, but those last responses….. no…. it couldn't be….

"Blue Screen, are you capable of thought?"

<Answer: No.>

"Then that last part about the being an idiot….. *Vein throbs on his head* …. where did that part come from Blue Screen?"

<Answer: The one who created me, the one many refer to as the 'light god' of this world, will sometimes add things to the messages I display to help those he has chosen for me to appear before.>

I KNEW THAT SHITHEAD HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!!! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM!!!!!!!!!

——Five minutes of fuming and mentally cursing the #1 Shithead later——

*sigh* I'm not going to even bother anymore… at least for now, as this is getting me nowhere.

"So if you are a screen, and you look like you are from inside a video game… this is probably a long-shot… but… does that mean that I have stats like in a game?"

<Answer: Yes.>

"Can I see them?"

<Answer: Yes.>

…

"Will you show them to me?"

<Answer: Yes.>

…

"WHY AREN'T YOU DOING ANYTHING THEN?!"

<Answer: Because you have not given the command.>

"WHAT IS THE COMMAND THEN?!!!!"

<Answer: Say the word 'Status' aloud.>

THIS SMARTASS!!!!!

"Okay…*takes calming breath*…. Status."

<Ryuga Sato, 29 Years old.>

<Male, Human.>

<Stats: Level 1>

<HP: 15>

<MP: 10>

<STA: 30>

<ATT: 5>

<DEF: 0.9 (-0.1)>

<VIT: 5>

<INT:5>

<WIS: 6(+1)>

<LUCK: ∨>

<Earned Skills: Reincarnation∨>

<Death Skills: Gravity Manipulation∨>

<Create Elemental∨>

<Magic: None>

<Blessings: None>

<Curses: Curse of the Light God∨>

"Ok, for level 1, the stats aren't too bad, but why does my DEF have a '(-0.1)' to the side?!"

<Answer: That is an effect of the 'Curse of the Light God'.>

I knew it was that shithead's fault. I am really starting to hate that guy….

"Oh, I just noticed, I'm not falling anymore. Why?"

<Answer: You set your revive point 'on the ground'. Have you forgotten that already? Yep, definitely an idiot….>

WHO'S THE IDIOT?!!!!!!!!! DAMN YOU SHITHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

——————Five more minutes of silent anger later——————

"Okay, Blue Screen, where am I?"

<Answer: The bottom layer of Yggdrasil.>

"Wait, Yggdrasil?!! As in the World Tree?!"

<Answer: Yes.>

"Ohhhhhh, so that's what I was falling past on my skydive without a parachute."

"So can you elaborate on those skills for me?"

<Answer: Yes.>

…

*sigh* Here we go again. I think that shithead sent me this 'Blue Screen' just to torment me… I really hate him, but I am too tired from mentally cursing earlier to care as much now…..

*sigh*

"Screen, show drop down for the skills 'Reincarnation', 'Gravity Manipulation', and 'Create Elemental'. Then explain what the death skills and earned skills are. Oh, and show the drop down for the 'Curse of the Light god'."

<Earned Skill: Reincarnation∨>

<Reincarnation: Passive Skill. The ability to revive immediately upon death. Gains a random skill every death, skill given depends on luck. Each time you die in a new way, because of your insight into the world, you will gain 1 WIS.>

<Death Skill: Gravity Manipulation∨>

<Gravity Manipulation: Active Skill. 10 secs per 1MP (level 1). Upon using this skill, gravity will be multiplied 10 times on the caster's body. Not applicable against other objects. Caster cannot switch off this skill manually. However, when the caster's MP reaches zero, this skill will automatically deactivate.>

<Death Skill: Create Elemental∨>

<Create Elemental: Active Skill. 10MP per elemental (level 1). Auto drains MP from caster for same amount of MP used to create it if still active 6 hours after creation. Elemental will attack caster until MP provided runs out. 1MP = 1 hour.∨>

<Answer: Death skills are skills which are gained by your Reincarnation skill. Earned skills are skills that you earned through your own practice and hard work.>

<Curses: Curse of the Light god∨>

<Curse of the Light god: Negatively affects DEF and LUCK by 10%. In addition, if the LUCK attribute is reset for any reason, such as reincarnation, provides a 99.999% chance the value will be negative. If you displease the god of Light further, affect will rise by 5%. Changes are permanent until curse is removed.>

*Tries to keep himself from screaming aloud*

*Fails*

"THAT SHITHEAD IS TRYING TO SCREW ME OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Wait, I didn't see a value for LUCK, all I saw was a drop down option." *gulp*

"Screen, show drop down for LUCK."

<LUCK: -110(-10)>

"FUCK YOU, YOU SHITHEAD GOD!!!!!!!!!"

<Announcement: Because off your crass language, the god of Light has increased your curse. Now affects DEF and LUCK by 15%.>

<NEW Stats: DEF: .85 (-0.15)>

<LUCK: -115 (-15)>

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

_________________________________________________________________

Author/Editor's corner:

Banish: Think the Blue Screen should always be formatted with "<Answer: *Random something here*>" when he answers, or should it just be his answer?

Karma: Let's do <Answer: *>, I think that it will be better.