Chapter 3

A quiet dawn came over the Takasu household that made the

commotion from the early morning seem like a dream.

After being attacked by the Palmtop Tiger, Ryuuji finally got back to

sleep at five in the morning. With his growing body, the lack of sleep hit

him hard, but his mouth opened wide into a robust yawn, and he willed

himself from bed at his usual time. There were a lot of things he needed to

get done.

Once he finished using the restroom and sink, he first needed to change

Inko-chan's food. Like usual, he began by checking whether she was

awake. After she responded, he removed the cloth covering the birdcage.

But then…

"Good morning Inko-ch—oh!"

He drew his head back in astonishment. Inko-chan was dead.

"B-but you just answered me! Inko-chan!"

"…Nn…nng, nn…"

Nope, she was alive. She'd sure looked dead, flopped over at the bottom

of the birdcage, but apparently, she was just laying on her side. At Ryuuji's

call, she suddenly sprang up and cryptically fluffed her feathers until she

bulged. She looked totally gross.

"Man, I don't get you at all anymore."

"Morning!"

He really wanted a cat or a dog, or some kind of pet that he could relate

to. While he was in deep thought changing the food box, Inko-chan started

to speak. "…Nk… nn… ng cha… nkochan… ngochan."

Staring straight into Ryuuji's eyes, Inko-chan was desperately trying to

tell him something. It definitely had to be what she had practiced for years

but had never once managed to say right. This time, you won't mess it up,

right? he thought.

"Are you finally going to say Inko-chan…? Can you finally say it?!"

Reflexively, Ryuuji became excited. He had front row seats to the

birdcage before him. Inko-chan astutely snapped her wings open. Finally,

finally the moment had—

"Dung-ko-chaan!"

"You idiot!" In resignation, Ryuuji flung the cloth they used at night

back over the birdcage, then stalked out of the family room. He looked

brutish, but his heart was calm. Something like this could never stir his

emotions. With the backbone of a man, he composed himself, then opened

the sliding door to check on Yasuko, who would be sleeping.

When he was falling asleep, he'd definitely heard the front door open,

so he was sure she had come home, but…

"…This is terrible in its own way," he groaned and rolled his eyes.

She was so drunk that she stunk up the room with the scent of alcohol,

and for some reason, she was positioned as though she were about to do a

somersault, butt sticking straight up as she slept. Thankfully, she had

changed into a tracksuit. Even though she was his mother—no, precisely

because she was his mother—this was too much. He tolerated her

underwear showing, but this wasn't anything a son ought to put up with. On

top of that, she must have given up partway through taking off her makeup.

Half her face was clean, and the other half was heavily made up, as though

she were trying her best to impersonate Baron Ashura from Mazinger Z—

only her version of him was in pain and had an anguished expression.

If he had to guess, she'd tactlessly taken off her makeup while sitting at

the small table by the edge of the futon. Then, in the middle of that, she fell

asleep and flopped face first onto the futon.

"You're lucky you didn't break your neck… Hey. Don't sleep like that;

it'll take years off your life."

"…Ryu…yuucha…n…n…chan…"

Not only was she in the same position as Inko-chan, she was talking like

the bird, too.

He could feel the invisible bond between Yasuko and Inko-chan (their

brainpower), as he gently lowered the bottom half of her body and

straightened her out to sleep properly on the futon. Yasuko wanted her own

bed, but with these sleeping habits, he knew he couldn't ever let her buy

one.

He rescued the melted ice cream from the plastic bag that had been

thrown into the corner and quietly tiptoed out of the room. As he gently slid

the door closed, he decided to put the melted ice cream into the freezer for

the time being.

Then he peeked into the refrigerator to start preparations for breakfast

and their bento boxes for lunch.

"Oh, that's right." Ryuuji viciously scrutinized the contents. He wasn't

mad—he had just been careless. He'd used up the eggs and bacon for the

fried rice feast, which meant he didn't have them for breakfast. He had also

used up all the frozen food.

"…I could just have milk for breakfast. And for lunch, I'll…make do.

All I have that'd work as a side is taro anyway."

Ryuuji still had to make rice, so he decided to do something he normally

considered cutting corners, which was making takikomi gohan—a simple,

seasoned rice—and some quick stewed taro.

He washed the rice, then—before putting in the water—poured in sake,

soy sauce, and mirin to taste. He threw in kombu seaweed he had cut into

pieces with scissors, boiled bamboo shoots, and the rest of a bottle of

nametake. Once he filled it with water and flipped the switch on the rice

cooker, that was it. All he had to do was wait for it to finish cooking.

Then, with supernatural speed, he peeled the taro and threw it into a pot

partway filled with boiled water. He washed the cutting board and knife,

and by the time he cleaned up the sink drain, the boiling water had

evaporated to show the tops of the taro he had thrown in. After eyeballing

the amounts of zarame, mirin, sake, soy sauce, powdered broth, and

mentsuyu to put in, all he had left to do was leave it alone. If he turned the

heat to low to avoid burning the taro and waited until the broth only just

finished boiling off, it would naturally turn into nikorogashi. He had never

looked up the proper way of making the salty-sweet, potato-like dish, but it

was always delicious when he made it like this.

It hadn't even been thirty minutes since he woke up. He had tons of

time left. Ryuuji poured the rest of the milk into a cup, turned on the TV,

and sat down on a floor cushion.

He would have his brief breakfast while watching morning variety

shows. Although his eyes and ears were absorbed in a report of the soccer

match from the day before, he sat and unconsciously polished the dining

table with a cloth until it sparkled.

His team seemed to have won; ignoring that he'd only had milk for

breakfast, the morning was going pretty well. Though it would have been

nicer if there had been bright sunlight coming in through the window, like

in years past. He looked out the window from within the dim room and

sighed. But then…

"Gah!"

He was startled by the sudden ringing of the phone. Something must

have happened to one of their relatives for it to go off so early. In any case,

he couldn't disturb Yasuko (who, despite appearances, was the sole

breadwinner) while she slept. He hurried to the receiver and picked it up.

"Yes, this is the Takasu—"

"YOU'RE LATE! What do you think you're doing?!"

Without thinking, he hung up.

What do you think you're doing? The words echoed in his mind, and he

thought, I'm just going about my day, that's what. With his mind blank from

the unexpected scolding, he made the mistake of diligently answering the

phone when it rang a second time.

"Yes, this is the Takasu—"

"You just hung up on me, didn't you?! Do I need to come over there and

go on a rampage again?"

Reflexively, he thought, That wouldn't be good. His landlady hadn't

come to complain, but for a little while now, he'd heard the sound of a

broom sweeping stormily outside the front entrance. His landlady was

probably waiting to catch Ryuuji leaving the house to complain. He was

marked.

Only one person came to mind who could make such wicked threats.

"Aisaka… Taiga… Tch."

In other words, the ferocious and nefarious Palmtop Tiger.

"If you don't want any trouble, hurry up and get over here! What're you

up to? Do you plan to break your vow that fast? I can't think of a single

reason why you'd think that's a good idea."

"Sheesh. By vow, you don't mean…"

"You said you'd do anything I told you, like a dog, didn't you? You

swore, didn't you? So hurry up! Get over here right now. Starting today,

you're coming to my house before school, every morning."

"…Hold on, wait a second. That thing yesterday…y'know, that thing,

right? When I said I'd help you, I meant that—that I'd give you advice

about Kitamura, that's what…"

"Tsk." He heard the click of a tongue packed full of irritation coming

from the other end of the line.

"You're the one who said you'd do anything. Anyway, just come over.

When I say I'm going to do something, I always do it. Though in this case,

I'm not telling you what it is."

It seemed like she was in a really bad mood. Her voice resonated with

sinister tones, like the jeer of an oni bellowing from hell. It made Ryuuji's

eardrums quake. Saying anything to her over the phone when she was like

this wouldn't do any good.

"W-well… I guess I'll come, but…I don't know where your house—"

"Come to the window."

"Huh? The window? If I can see your place from the window, that

means—AHH!"

Phone in hand, he crossed the sadly small living room. From the

shadows next to the window, he threw his head back in surprise at what he

saw outside. From here, all that could be seen were the upper-class condos,

but on the second floor, in a perfectly visible window…

"What's with that weird pajama top?" said Aisaka Taiga. She was

watching him through the condo's window, a fashionable phone in one hand

and a deadpan expression on her face.

"Uh, stop! Don't look at me!" Ryuuji tried to cover up Yasuko's

"snuggly wuggly" heart-covered cardigan with both his hands. He had put it

on because of the cold. His face turned into an ogre's, but he wasn't angry

—he was embarrassed.

Her face distorted, too. She yanked her expensive-looking curtains shut.

"I didn't want to see it in the first place! Hurry up and come, you mutt!"

Aisaka insisted. But Ryuuji still had some things to do.

"Just wait a second! I just need ten minutes!"

"What for?"

"The takikomi gohan I'm making for lunch isn't done yet!"

"…"

Then, from the other side of the newly silent line, he heard the faint but

intense sound of a rumbling stomach. It was so loud, he couldn't pretend he

hadn't heard it.

"…D-do you want some, too?"

She kept quiet for a while, but eventually, the upper-class condo's

curtains opened by about ten centimeters. Still refusing to utter so much as

a word, Aisaka nodded in response.

Yasuko, Inko, and now Aisaka.

It seemed the number of mouths Ryuuji was in charge of feeding had

increased by one.

***

It was the first time in his life he had seen an auto-locking door.

The air surrounding the white marble entrance was cooler than outside.

It was mysteriously quiet. He felt as though he were being watched.

He felt so out of place that his eyes took on an imposing and dreadful

look as he glared at the mysterious machine before him. It was in a marble

stand at about hip level. It had a button, a keyhole, and something that

looked like a speaker. There was an automatic door that continued to lead

inside, but when he stood in front of it, it made no sign of opening. On his

immediate right was the management office, but a note saying "cleaning in

progress" indicated that it was deserted. He was sure that he needed to do

something with the machine in order to enter the Palmtop Tiger's pen, but

he didn't know what. Then a voice interrupted his silent pondering. "Good

morn…ing…?"

A young woman opened the door. Even while greeting him, she

watched him with a suspicious, questioning look.

"G-good morning."

Ryuuji uneasily lowered his head and slipped through the cracked door.

He felt apprehensive entering this way, but no one challenged him.

He went into the elevator and pressed the button for the second floor.

When the door opened, he found a carpeted hallway like the one he'd seen

in a hotel during a school field trip.

As he wondered what the rent for this must be like, he realized he'd

forgotten to ask for the room number. But his anxiety immediately

dissipated.

There was only one door in the hallway ahead. It seemed that the

Aisakas' place took up the entire second floor.

"She's rich. Maybe the rumors are true, then… Her dad might actually

be a mobster."

Deep in thought and just a little nervous (even if it were Aisaka, it was

still a girl's house), he rung the doorbell. But there was no sign of anyone

coming to answer, and after a second ring, there was still no response.

There was still time to get to school, but time wasn't infinite. Remaining

hesitant, he gently tried to open the door.

He inhaled sharply. It opened.

"G-good mornin-ng…Aisaka! It's Takasu!" He peeked inside and called

out, "Heeyyy," but of course no one answered. "Heyyy, heyyyy," he called

again, trespassing through the marbled front entrance.

"…Excuse me…I'm coming in! Is that okay? I-I'm coming in now,

okay?"

She'd told him to come—and so he had, out of coercion. Why was he

just standing around? Although he was afraid of running into anyone else,

especially her father, Ryuuji timidly took off the loafers he had just shined

and stepped up onto the hallway flooring in his socks.

As Ryuuji continued inside, he looked around and breathed out a gasp,

"Whoa…" From the white wallpaper to the beige flooring and recessed

lighting, everything possessed an elegance completely divorced from

ordinary rentals. Ryuuji, who actually rather liked interior design, was

enthralled. He quietly opened a clouded glass door.

"Ooh! Ooh?"

First, the admiration. Then, the stench.

His admiration was for the living room, over twenty tatami mats in size.

The white rug, the light gray sofa, and then the white table and refined

chairs, probably hand-picked by a designer. The south-facing window

opened up to a striking view of the park trees—a view that had originally

belonged to the Takasu household. The muted colors of the furniture

enhanced the openness of the living room, while still maintaining a personal

touch. It displayed the taste of a professional. Although the glass chandelier

showed modern style, it was exquisite. But strangely, there was only a sofa

and a chair for one. For a living room this big, it would have been normal to

have five or six people's worth of furniture.

And then the stench—

"It has to be that…"

It was coming from the refined island kitchen.

Although the sink was large, it was piled high with what might have

been a fixed installment of dirty plates, bowls, and other dishware, all

submerged in filthy water. Just imagining what was going on inside the

drain made his body shiver. On top of that, the stainless steel in the kitchen

was clouded, but that wasn't the worst of it.

"Whoaa!"

Here and there were patches of black mold. It was so widespread that he

couldn't help but feel like collapsing in agony. He was drawn in. As he

stumbled forward, he made the mistake of swiping the kitchen counter with

a shaking pointer finger. Naturally, the sensation he felt could be described

as slippery, or slimy, or…

Unforgivable.

Something like this was completely unforgivable. It was a desecration

of the kitchen. It was a desecration of daily life. How could it be that while

some people put in the effort day in and day out to keep a narrow, terribly

tiny, totally dark kitchen like the one in his two-bedroom apartment clean

enough to eat off the floor, she had this amazing streamlined kitchen and let

it get so… so…!

"AISAKAAAAAAAA!"

Almost flying, Ryuuji started to run. After seeing a sight like this, he

couldn't stand idly by.

"Let me…somehow… Just let me…CLEAN THIS KITCHEN!"

Ryuuji felt as though something inside him were about to burst open.

Veins popping, he stalked around the living room like a bullet, but he

couldn't find Aisaka. Then, eyes sparkling dangerously with excitement, he

discovered a sliding door.

"This is it!"

He forcefully threw open the door and…

"…Oh."

He had been completely right. But somehow…it was a complete failure.

Aisaka Taiga was there.

With things so placid, Ryuuji instinctively shut his mouth and held his

breath.

It was a quiet room with a high ceiling, and curtains hung from the

north facing windows. Frilly dresses were strewn about here and there on

the pure white carpet. In one corner of the room, there was a desk and a

chair, which were naturally also pure white, and at the center of the room

was a bed with a canopy of white lace.

It was Aisaka Taiga's bedroom.

Aisaka herself was curled up, sleeping quietly alone in the middle of the

bed. Her long hair was scattered over the sheets, and she seemed to be

sinking into the mattress, guarded by lace.

The phone receiver was at the head of the bed, and the Takasu

household's window was just visible through a crack in the curtain.

"…You fell back asleep."

Only the susurrations of her even breathing quietly reverberated through

the bedroom.

Unable to come closer, Ryuuji just watched Aisaka as she slept. It

wasn't like he wanted to watch her, but he just couldn't take his eyes off

her.

She was bundled in baggy pajamas, which made her already thin and

dainty limbs seem even more petite. Her high cheekbones were currently at

peace and seemed transparent, as though they had been shaped from water

that could evaporate at any moment. Her small nose, her half-open small

mouth, her long closed eyelashes… Aisaka Taiga quietly sunk into the

ocean of sheets with only her breathing to indicate that she was alive.

This wasn't his lively classmate gone to sleep, but a scene from a madeup fairy tale world.

She's like Sleeping Beauty, he thought, somewhat girlishly, but then

corrected himself.

No, this wasn't a princess.

She wasn't a princess—she was the doll the princess had forgotten. It

would open its eyes if it were just lifted up, but because it was forgotten, the

small doll continued to sleep.

The bed the doll was sleeping in, this room, this house, they too

belonged to the princess, not the doll. That was why everything was too big.

That was why nothing was the right size for her.

But Aisaka was a person, and this house was Aisaka's house—wait a

minute, what had happened to her family?

Ryuuji spun around, looking at the house that had once again fallen

silent. He squinted his eyes. A single chair. One sofa. Aisaka was the only

one here. Your family? he asked silently, and Aisaka seemed to shake her

head from side to side as she slept alone.

He looked at his wristwatch. There was still time before they needed to

go to school.

Somehow managing to avoid waking her, Ryuuji quietly left the room.

He closed the door without making a sound. If she weren't awake to go to

school at the last minute, he would get her up then.

Once he had put some space between him and the quiet bedroom,

Ryuuji slowly took off his school jacket and rolled up his sleeves.

"Right!"

The grungy, custom-fitted kitchen towered before his sharp gaze. He

had fifteen minutes. Man versus filthy stainless steel. The best-of-one

match began in earnest…

***

When Aisaka Taiga woke, an unbelievable scene unfolded before her.

She saw Takasu Ryuuji, who declared, "I'm still working on it. I'll need

to do a lot more tomorrow." Behind him were half a year's worth of dishes

and a thoroughly cleaned stainless steel kitchen.

And then, she saw takikomi gohan and instant miso soup for breakfast.

Then he showed her a hearty bento box, saying, "The food inside is the

same as breakfast, but I'm glad I brought a lot."

All of it was for Aisaka Taiga, who had accidentally fallen back asleep.

***

"I had you come here specifically because I didn't want to be late, so

why did you let so much time go by? Is there something wrong with you?"

"What?! I told you to hurry up and eat faster, didn't I?! You're the one

that kept her mitts on the bowl and kept asking for seconds!"

"You were dumb enough to make breakfast, even though I never asked

for it, and letting some of it go to waste would have been pitiful, so I ate all

of it for you. Why don't you thank me?"

"That's it. Give me back that bento."

"Shut up! Don't come near me, you dirty-minded dog."

"You…give it back! You better give it back! And give back every nice

thing I ever did for you!"

"Shush. Go rot in hell."

"P-people who tell others to rot don't get to have takikomi gohan!"

As they briskly walked to school side by side, a fierce battle developed

between Ryuuji and Aisaka. The two made a commotion all along the

sidewalk as they strode beneath the radiant, new green leaves of the

roadside trees. They were first-rate nuisances.

In an attempt to steal the bento from the drawstring bag hanging from

Aisaka's small hand, Ryuuji attacked from above. Aisaka dodged and, with

her small stature, quickly scuttled off to put distance between herself and

Ryuuji. Not wanting to become involved with the two, the passersby

averted their eyes from both the high schooler with a dreadful look in his

eye and the petite beauty who seemed to ignore him as he gave chase.

"C-could you be any more ungrateful?! Jeez! And I even cleaned your

kitchen for you! Well, I mean, I'm not totally finished, but still."

"I told you, I didn't ask for that."

"Hey, you know what was the worst? The water in the sink was totally

rancid! The drain was full of slime, covered in mold, and stuffed with

rotting food scraps. It looked like hell on Earth… How could you endure

the smell? Just how long did you leave it all sitting there?"

"For about half a year."

"…Are you even human?!"

He whipped out his finger to point at her, but Aisaka remained

expressionless. "I wouldn't know anything about that," she said and briskly

walked away, leaving him with just those words. Deep down, he knew that

it wouldn't do him any good listening to someone like that, but he couldn't

abide the thought of leaving that kitchen as it was. After one glance at that

filthy water, Ryuuji just couldn't leave it alone. He wanted to make it pretty,

he wanted to make it clean, he wanted to make it easy to use—those desires

reared their head. He couldn't restrain himself.

"Guess it's my vice, huh?"

Muttering to himself, he followed behind Aisaka—he had no other

choice, after all, as they had to use this same road to get to school. Ryuuji

took a glimpse behind him.

"More importantly, when we get to school, you're going to bust your

butt working for me. Because I won't forgive you if you slack off." After

giving him that warning and a sobering gaze, Aisaka snorted.

Ryuuji increased his pace. Like he was going to let her get away with

saying that. "You know what, why should I help someone with that kind of

attitude—oof!"

He ran into Aisaka, who had suddenly stopped walking, causing him to

take an elbow right to the gut.

"D-don't just stop like that, you idiot!" he complained, foul-tempered

and painfully close to fainting. But Aisaka's gaze wasn't directed at Ryuuji

at all.

"Minorin! You waited for me again?"

"You're late, Taiga. I was just about to go on without you again today."

"…Hey!" Ryuuji said. He stopped in his tracks, dangerously close to

swooning. Across from Aisaka, Kushieda Minori stood at the corner of a

large crossroads.

With a touch of sunburn on her cheeks and a glitter in her cute, round

eyes, she wore an innocent smile while she wildly waved their way. In the

morning sun, her hair sparkled radiantly; the hem of her skirt danced in the

wind…but then her hand stopped in surprise. Her smile disappeared.

Instead, her eyes opened up wide.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaat! Huh? It can't be—no way!" she said.

"What's wrong, Minorin?" Aisaka said.

"M-my ear…" Ryuuji groaned.

She shouted in a shrill voice, fervently pointing back and forth between

Ryuuji and Taiga, as though verifying they had indeed walked side by side

on the way to school.

"Don't ask me what's wrong!" Minori went on. "Uh, uhhh…so that's it!

I had no idea you and Takasu-kun were a twosome and coming to school

together…"

"Come on, Minorin, no one says 'twosome' anymore."

"I seeee! Then what is it, that thing nowadays, it's… Ohh, I'm so

muddled I can't remember what it's called! Oh, I know! Lovebirds?!"

"That's not it! We're not that! We're not coming to school together! Wwe just happened to meet on the way!" He reflexively blurted out an

excuse. Then he got ahead of himself and presumptuously said, "Right!

Isn't that right, Aisaka?!"

He turned around with a forced smile.

"What, was it really a coincidence?" Minori asked.

"That's right," he said. "Apparently, we live really close together."

But the two girls had already paired up and were happily walking ahead.

With this rare chance right before his eyes, Ryuuji refused to let it get away.

He restlessly followed behind them and let his imagination work. Maybe

Aisaka Taiga, aware of his feelings toward Minori, had summoned him to

go to school together to set up this opportunity!

But in less than three seconds, the real Aisaka turned around and

shattered his delusions of grandeur.

"Later, Takasu-kun," she said. "I'll see you in class. Hee hee, you

couldn't possibly have been thinking that we would go to school together?

This was just a chance meeting, after all."

"Uh…oh, A-Aisaka…" he started to say, but interrupted.

"Well then, see you later, Takasu-kun!" Minori said. "Hey, hey Taiga,

yesterday on TV—"

What was on? I was watching TV last night, too… Ryuuji desperately

reached out with one hand. Then, just before he could chase after them, he

received one final warning.

Like I'm going to let you get there first, you cheeky mutt.

"…Ah…"

He saw the words in Aisaka's momentary glance, when she turned

around one last time. Laying it on thick, just the look she gave him alone

seemed to speak those words.

Faced with the eyes of the palm-sized beast, Ryuuji could do nothing

but stand still. She seemed to be saying that she would totally sabotage

anything between him and Minori until things went well with Kitamura.

Then, a pitiful thought slipped unbidden into his mind. But even without

any interference, dating Kushieda is a wish that would never come true…

No. If he thought like that, he'd be Aisaka's dog forever, and it would

all end there. That thought conjured up absolutely horrible images of the

future to come…

As he watched the two girls shrink into the distance, both of Ryuuji's

eyes narrowed into slits. Bring it on. Don't underestimate me. After getting

trampeled and stomped on, he was starting to get fired up.

I'll get Aisaka and Kitamura together and then I'll get close to

Kushieda.