This time, for me ( BL )

[I am lost boy from neverland

Usually hanging out with peter pan and

And when we are bored we play in the woods

Always on the run from captain hook

"Run run lost boy" they say to me

Away from all the reality.....] the song kept on playing in my headphones.

I know i am weak. I know i am worthless. But why do these tears keep on falling, when i have finally made up my mind.

Why do all the happy memories keep on playing inside my mind. Why cant i let them go.

I want to let go..... of all this pain and suffering.

I want to let go... of all these feelings which haunt me.

My eyesight is getting darker, maybe i can finally let go.

I was lying on my bed which till this morning had perfectly white bedsheets. But now they were slowly turning from pure white to beautiful bloody red.

My slit wrist did hurt in the start but it soon went away.

The last thing i heard before everything went silent was the lyric.

[neverland is home to lost boys like me

And lost boys like me are free..] the sound kept getting farther and farther away from me.

"Maybe i will finally be free" i tried to smile but to no avail.

I felt some vibrations as if someone ran to my bed. I felt someone pick me up as the chain attached to foot got a tug. After that everything went black.

——————————-

My body hurts so much. Why is my body hurting so much. Shouldn't i be dead by now? Can a person still feel after death? Or Is it just my brain making me believe that i am in pain as if i have a body.

~Thump thump~

Huh! What is that sound. I can also hear someone talking but it feels so distant.

I think i heard someone take my name but i cant understand what they are saying.

Could it be that i am in the hospital? "Cant i ever be free" i felt tears falling from my eyes as my nose and throat started to sting.

I heard a panicked voice as i felt someone hold my hand. The hand was gentle and soft but was really large compared to mine.

I could feel the warmth traveling from that hand into my body. It felt nice. It feels like something i have been missing for a long time.

I heard someone leave the room in a hurry. I still cant hear what those people are saying clearly. It like i can hear them and i know they are near me but for some reason i cant understand them.

Maybe i can listen to what they are saying if i focus on their words but i don't care much. My body already hurts so much. It feels like its breaking.

Maybe the pain would lessen if i divert my attention to something else.

There is only those voices i can use to divert my attention.

"I can assure you that he's totally fine. It would take some time for him to wake up, so don't worry" this person had a smooth voice which held professionalism in every word that he spoke. I guess he's the doctor.

"But... " a voice spoke up, interrupting the doctor in process.

"Im sorry, doctor. please continue." A husky voice spoke this time. The voice was heavy but was still pleasant to listen to. No matter the tone of the voice couldn't hide the worry in this voice.

"I have checked him again and i can assure you he is fine. To ensure a better recovery i would like to ask that only one person stays behind with him, not more than that." The doctor said with a calm voice.

The doctor seems professional. His tone of voice has calming ability. I wonder how much time has passed since that day.

"I would stay" a female voice spoke up.

Who are these people, i cant recognize any of their voices. They sound familiar though. Maybe they are his men. I sighed as that persons image came to my mind.

I need to leave this place as soon as possible.

"If you want to ask something, please do" doctor waited for a answer.

"No, thank you doctor sheng." The husky voice replied. I can feel that is the voice is familiar but i cant tell why.

I felt the warmth on my hand disappear as i felt someone get up from my side.

I then heard people leaving the room just before the door was closed.

I want to run away. Run away from everything but then again where would I go. And no matter where i go he will always find me. So is there even a point in running away.

I felt my heart shatter into pieces as I thought about all that. I was finally going to be reunited with my family but i was stopped.

I miss them. I miss them so much.

I slowly opened my eyes. It took a while for them to adjust to the light. The first thing i saw was white ceiling.

I moved my head around to look at my surroundings. It took almost everything from within me move my head towards right.

I was right. I am in a hospital room. I looked towards the huge window. The sky was slowly turning orange, i guess its evening.

I turned towards my right. It was from where the voices were coming from before. The room was decorated fairly good. I guess i am in vip room, but something feels off about it.

My eyes were feeling a little heavy.

The door to the room opened. My eyes started to water as soon as i saw the people at the door.

How can i ever forget these faces, even after more than 10 years have passed. I can still remember them like yesterday.

The man and women paused seeing that i was awake. I can see the relief in there eyes as they saw me. It was just a second but it felt as if time have stopped at this moment.

"Dad i am just going to say goodnight to him. I promise i will leave after that...." a head poked in between the couple. "Bunbun you are awake" the kid said excitedly as he ran towards me.

I looked back at the couple. I was shocked to see the women cry. And the man didn't move at all as if he was afraid. There was hope and relief in their eyes. They looked tired as if they haven't slept.