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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Komik
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111 Chs

What a great week.

Stepping through the doorway Naruko found herself standing in a messy room filled with old sake bottles. 'This sure is cleanly...' her eyes perusing the room they eventually locked onto the back wall where in the middle of the bed a young woman was currently sitting up, head proper up on the wall with a pillow. 'Her hair really is mint green, cool!' 

"Hello, you're Fu, right? I'm Naruko. Nice to meet'cha!" Orange eyes blinked once, twice, then...

"Woah! Those clothes are so cool! So are those whisker marks! Hey, are they real? Ohmygod how did you get you-" 'What the fuck is happening?'  Just as equally baffled Kurama responded, 'She's like a young Chomei.'  "-Hey, hey. You saved me right? Lucky Seven said so! Thanks a lot! I knew someone would save me. Hey, how did you use your Bijuu Mode? That seal they had and the netting wouldn't let me! Oh wait, you must have used it outside and then came in, right? That makes sense!" 'Wha-' "Anyways I'm Fu, nice to meet you Naruko! Thanks for saving me and Lucky Seven. That was really close! That doctor said if you hadn't healed me I'd be deader than dead, so thanks! That makes us friends you know!" 'Th-that doctor? Did she just refer to Tsunade as 'that doctor'?!?' "So, what have you been doing while I've been sleeping? Oh, did you beat up all those Kumo nin? What happened to them? Where are we?"

'I-' 'Now you know what I've had to suffer dealing with you Uzumaki.' Taking a deep breath Naruko began. "Thanks, I know my clothes are cool. My whisker marks are real. I got the hairband at a stall down the street. Yes, I did save you. Yes, I used my Bijuu Mode outside of the seal, and also seals of that level are too weak to affect Kur-chan and I. Nice to meet you Fu I'm Naruko. That doctor's name is Tsunade, and of course, we can be friends! As for those Kumo Nin, they're dead now - and we're in a little town in the Eastern parts of Konoha."

Fu's orange eyes sparkled. "Woah! You can keep up with me! See Lucky Seven! See! Our new friend is great!" 

-A day later-

Taking a swig from the bottle Naruko wearily sighed. "My brain hurts." A low chortle was the response before the bottle was ripped from her hands and Tsunade took a swig.

"It's all the Bijuu chakra and medicine she's on. The part of her brain that should be telling her to slow down, think about what she says, or just to have some restraint is just about non-existent currently." Tsunade's lips spread wide a look in her eyes, "Just like how someone I know is normally."

Naruko snorted, "I'm nowhere near that bad unless it's on purpose." Tsunade raised an eyebrow in response, and with a huff, Naruko shook her head. "It's true. I annoy people because I like to annoy them. I ignore what they say when they respond because it's amusing. I talk a lot because it baffles them, not many people are willing to have non-villain speeches mid-combat or whatever after all." 

Tsunade shook her head before taking a swig of the sake. "Whatever you say brat, whatever you say. The girl will be healed and out of my hands within the week, what do you plan on doing next?"

Naruko's hands twitched minutely, but she managed to stop them from clenching even as her eyes narrowed. "I'll have to go back to Konoha before Gramps decides to send someone to take me back, but after the Chunin Exams..." Her eyes went distant for a moment before turning sharp. "Punishment. I can't accept the Five Great Nations mobilizing thousands of troops just to kill a singular person - not because of their actions, but because of who they are."

Tsunade took another swig before with a sigh and said, "Just be careful brat."

Batting her eyes Naruko smiled at Tsunade, "Me? I'm always careful, y'know!" 

-Elephant-

With an amused smile on her face, Elephant watched as the Captain silently fumed, and Cricket looked confused. "How did we not know she left a day ago?"

Salmon spoke up then with amusement leaked through in his voice, "Probably because she was avoiding us already." Elephant nodded her head at that, and finally, the Captain let out a groan.

"Back to Konoha squad." 

-Naruko-

"Dootadoo, datoododo. Goin' back home. Goin' back home. Doo! Goin' back home, we're going back home." Feeling the sweat drop forming inside of her she hummed confused. 'What's wrong Kura-chan?' 'Don't you think you're forgetting something?' Naruko looked around confused. 'Nooo....?' 

-Konoha, Hokage Tower- 

Crouching on the window sill outside of the old man's office, Naruko rapped her knuckles on the window. "Oye! Gramps, open up. Come on y'know? Locking the window is rude!" Through the window, she could see him turn around in his chair to stare at her, an amused smile on his face before he turned back to his desk to continue his work. "Argh! You old man! I won't submit to the supremacy of doors!" 

So, Naruko remained crouched outside the window, staring in like a creep. A minute, two, five, ten. Eventually, Gramps looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah! I won't submit to having to walk through doors like a ugh normal person." In response, he turned back around once more continuing his work. 'Why don't you ju-' 'SHUT UP KURA-CHAN! I will not lose to doors! This isn't a Ninja & Bijuu campaign.' 

...

'So you'll lose to a window instead?' A vein emerged on Naruko's forehead. 'Fine! Fine! I'll show you AND Gramps! No window or door beats me.' Standing up Naruko glared at the window, before charging forward!

'This can't go well.' Yet, the expected slam didn't happen - instead, Naruko phased through the window, before landing on the floor of the Hokage office!

"Hah! Beat that! Do you think a measly window can stop me? I won't submit to the supremacy of doors! It's my duty as a proud Shinobi of Konoha to despise all doors." '.....' Gramps pen stopped moving as he paused before a sigh escaped his lips.

"Yes Naruko, come in Naruko. I'm happy you decided to use the door Naruko. Thank you for scheduling this after-mission meeting Naruko."

"No problem Gramps!" Strolling around his desk Naruko plopped herself into a chair. "Sooo, you have a good week? Do anything fun?"

His voice was dry, "It went well. The war escalated out of nowhere, Kumo has retrieved troops from Kiri and is placing them all at our borders, their ANBU have started to increase their activities, and the other nations are asking very uncomfortable questions. My week has been great, especially when the person that caused all of this and has the answers the nations need, decided to go missing, and when found didn't come back." 

"Sounds like you had a great week! Mine was great as well. Got ambushed by goons in black cloaks and red clouds, all of my comrades were actually clones in disguise, Darui of the Black Lightning tried to stall me, the ANBU Commander was actually a porn book, and then I found a thousand Kumo troops with a thousand more dead surrounding one of our allies - who happens to have been attacked because of no reason besides who she is. Then, of course, I only came upon them when her heart was shutting down and only barely saved her. Of course, in response, I had to defend her and then make sure no one could chase us while she was being sent to Tsunade - who in turn only barely managed to get her to recover. My week was great as well, y'know?"

Hiruzen hummed, "It sounds like it. So you did in fact send a Bijuu Bomb directly towards Kumo?"

Naruko blinked in 'confusion'. "Me? I've never formed a Bijuu Bomb before in training! How could I do that? That sounds like something that would take lots of training to do. No, no. I just formed a Rasengan and threw it at a few Kumo Shinobi in anger."

His eyebrow twitched. "Your 'Rasengan' has made us unaware of the status of Killer Bee, and has caused Kumo to completely withdraw their attacks on Kiri focusing on us. Kumo and Iwa are now also focusing much more on us, and even the Kazekage is asking questions. After all - that 'Rasengan' was the one thing the Five Great Nations agreed would not happen, or else we all risk them coming down every day of the week."

Naruko snorted. "I know how the barriers around Konoha work probably better than you do Gramps. I sense them every day. I know very well that they can absorb ninjutsu of that caliber if they're launched from a certain distance away. At least four Bijuu, the Seven and Eight Tails combined, or my little fox buddy would have to be shooting the Bijuudama for it to break through that barrier. I also happen to know that our ally in Suna is the only other nation that has no need to fear a Bijuudama. Which you and them should know as well." 

Gramps stared at her for a while before sighing. "That's not the point - the point is that the war has escalated far beyond what we were hoping for at this current time, with Kiri, Kumo, and Iwa now focusing on us. It's an excuse for them."

A few moments passed, with Naruko's face shifting through a few emotions as she looked down, hair falling down to cover her face, before she finally said, "This war won't last much longer."

His eyes narrowed, "What do you mean by that?"

.

.

.

A gasp echoed out in the room, before a low chuckle erupted, before turning into full belly wheezing laughter.

TEASED AND CLIFFED.

Gonna adjust how I write while still busy, it won't affect what y'all see, but I'm actually really fucking bummed I didn't get multiple chapters out and I did plan to do so.

How I used to write was just sit down and write the entire chapter at once, but my goal now is gonna shift to small bits at a time - which should increase the rate in which I release chapters.

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