321— Don't Tell Me You Understand

She blinked before continuing, "Not to mention, the man I loved was the one that devoted himself to us with all his heart. You couldn't even bear to see me frown back then. That's why I don't recognize this person that hid under a bunch of excuses and ruthlessly cut his family out of his life."

"Ranran please don't say that, it's still me. See, I understand that you are hurt and angry at me, but please look at it from my perspective," Han Leifeng was saying, but Pei Yueran cut him short, her eyes luminous with tears.

"No you don't! You don't understand anything! Do you know what it feels like to overdose on drugs and wait to die because grief was eating you alive? Do you have an idea of the agony?

"Unless you have experienced that hopeless feeling, don't tell me you understand, because you don't!"

Finished speaking, she searched her purse for a handkerchief to mop up her tears before they fell, but as usual, she didn't have any. She suddenly missed her husband.

Han Leifeng was shocked, but Li Chuanmo, who had just finished his conversation with Gong Anwei and was back to reading their lips was even more shocked.

His strong, steady wife tried to kill herself for this scum?

What?

Han Leifeng eventually managed to ask, "You did what? When?"

"A few weeks after the burial. I thought life would be too hard and not worth living without you. So I dropped Xiao Chen off with my Mom. Thankfully, she noticed something was wrong and came in time to send me to the hospital. Else, won't be be explaining in front of my grave by now?" Pei Yueran mocked after managing to calm her emotions.

It was that incident that scared Zhou Qiaohui and made her talk sense into her daughter, telling her to pull herself together for Han Yichen 's sake.

Zhou Qiaohui even threatened her, saying that if anything happened to Pei Yueran, she would leave Han Yichen in the care of the orphanage workers, since he would be a proper orphan by then.

That was when she realized that she had to think for Han Yichen's sake too. So together with Su Qianhua's help, she was finally able to pull through m her grief and throw herself into living for Han Yichen and work.

Han Leifeng looked stricken. In all his calculations, he never once thought that she could have attempted suicide because of him. He felt awful.

"I didn't imagine that, that—." he could complete his sentence. Guilt was plainly on his face.

He tentatively reached for her hand, and when she didn't push him away, he spoke earnestly, "I'm so sorry Yueran, I'm really sorry. I'll spend the rest of my life apologizing to you and our son.

"So please, can't you consider it a miracle that we are both alive and well, that we can sit across from each other again and forgive me?"

Pei Yueran just looked at him, her tears falling softly.

When she desperately waited for such a miracle, why didn't he show up then? Why was he just coming now, when she had finally moved on?

Now, it was too late.

On his part, Li Chuanmo had heard and seen enough. Not only did this scum cause his wife such grief, he even wanted to snatch her away? He even had the audacity to hold her hand!

Did he think that he, Li Chuanmo, was dead?

Angry, he marched right up to their table and grabbed Pei Yueran's hand out of Han Leifeng's grasp. After giving him a scathing look, he spoke to Pei Yueran, "You've heard enough, right? Let's go."

She nodded and made to stand up, making Han Leifeng anxious, "Don't go yet Ranran, please."

Li Chuanmo was about to punch him, but Pei Yueran shook her head. Turning to Han Leifeng, she said, "It's late now, I have to go. I have heard all I need to hear, and also said all I need to say. In any case, congratulations on being alive. I hope you live well and achieve all your life goals. Goodbye."

She turned to leave with Li Chuanmo.

Frantic, Han Leifeng spoke quickly, "It's not over between us, it cannot be! Have you forgotten all we shared? All the memories?"

Pei Yueran paused, and Li Chuanmo froze.

Then she turned to face him. Looking him straight in the eye, she said word for word, "I haven't forgotten, but I can promise you that beginning from now, I will work to forget each and every fond memory. Better to have no memories at all than to continue to cherish a lie."

Han Leifeng looked like he had just been dealt a blow. His life, his determination was crumbling in front of him, and he didn't like the feeling at all.

Desperate, he grabbed at the illusory pieces in his mind and actually found something to hold on to.

"Xiao Chen. Yes, we have Xiao Chen. Can't you forgive me for his sake? We'll be a family again, just like the old times."

Pei Yueran looked like she had just heard a joke, "Can you hear yourself? What should I tell him now? That his birth father, whom we've been visiting at the cemetery since he was a child, didn't die after all but only deceived us? Do you want to upset him?"

Han Leifeng argued, "It will be strange, fine, but the fact that I'm his father still doesn't change. And he looks like a mature and steady boy, he won't be too upset."

Pei Yueran's expression changed as if she grew thorns, "You went to see him? How could you? How dare you?!"

"Yes, but I only looked at him from afar, I didn't say anything to him. But why can't I see him? He doesn't know me anyway. Besides, I'm still his father no matter what." Han Leifeng said in a hurt tone. He merely took a look. Was even that not allowed?

"Are you kidding? He recognizes you from your pictures. Imagine how shocked he would be if you suddenly appeared in front of him! What were you thinking? Can you try caring about others for once and stop being so self-centered?!" Pei Yueran fired sentence after sentence in anger.

It was a good thing that the cafe was mostly empty, and the men that Qiao Mingran sent after them intimidated those around.

Han Leifeng couldn't believe it. She had never spoken to him like this before, with such a harsh tone of voice and obvious anger.

He took a step back, "Fine, I'm sorry. But he really didn't see me that day. I hid out of sight."

Pei Yueran calmed down a bit, "Just stay away from him henceforth."