Chapter Thirteen
ATTENTION! Content warning for sexual violence. If you or someone you know needs help with issues of sexual violence, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at
1-800-656-4673.
I stare at Amy as she cries on the couch. I blink.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.
"I..." Amy sniffs. I hand her a tissue. She takes it, but just ends up crumpling it in her hands. "I didn't want you to worry..."
I freeze. Suddenly, I explode.
"F*ck that, Amy! F*ck that!"
Amy freezes and her eyes are more bloodshot than ever. I immediately start crying. I bury my face in my hands. Amy goes very still. As if she... The thought scares me too much. I look up quickly. "Amy?"
Amy's eyes dart to me. Phew. Before I even think about it, I hug her.
"Amy..." I say softly, my voice trembling. "I love you."
Amy freezes. She goes still. I can feel heat rising in her. I sit up. "I'm sorry!" Sh*t. I've ruined everything. Amy hates me. She hates me. She hates me…
"I..." Amy hesitates. "I..."
* * *
"Jackson!" I giggle as I stumble through the door of his apartment.
"C'mon, you slut." Jackson takes me to the couch. I prop my legs on his lap. I curl up next to him.
He strokes my back and his hand moves lower. I don't stop him.
I giggle again. My head rolls on my shoulders. It feels so heavy.
"Jackson," I say, trying to focus on him. "I... I need to tell you something..."
Jackson smiles. "Okay..."
"I... I..." I can't think straight. I smile stupidly.
Jackson smirks and puts his finger to my lips. "I love you, too."
I look up at him again. He pulls my head towards his face. His eyes are so dark and cold. He closes his eyes. I close mine and feel his cold lips touch mine. I slide my hand up his chest to his shoulder. I move it to the back of his head.
He pulls me on top of him, still kissing me. He has one hand on my butt, one hand underneath my hair on my neck. He pulls me close and moves his lips to my neck. I inhale and stretch upwards. As I exhale he sucks my neck. "Jackson..." I hiccup.
"It's okay..."
* * *
"Amy..." No. The last time I was in love... I can't let anything like that happen again. "I didn't mean that. I can't love anymore. I've learned that."
Amy stutters. "I... Oh..."
I sigh and rub my eyes. "I just... Really care about you. As a friend."
"Friend..."
I look up. Amy's face is red.
I scoot a little bit away from her.
* * *
"Jackson..."
"It's okay..."
He pulls my tank top strap down my shoulder. I keep my eyes closed and push up on his shoulders. "Jackson," I repeat. "Hic!"
"I told you, it's okay..."
I don't argue, but I'm not sure if I like this or not. A sick feeling forms in my stomach. I want him to stop... I'm not sure what he's even doing... My head hurts. I can't think straight. The room won't stop spinning. I feel my shirt falling off. I look down into my bra. "Jackson... What-- hic! --are you doing?"
"Just stay calm... I've got you..."
* * *
Amy doesn't talk to me for the rest of the day. After I told her that this morning, she went to her room and didn't come out. It's around six thirty now. I'm getting kinda worried about her. I should probably get her some food. I get a sticky-note pad from the counter.
Amy,
I'm going to the store. Text me if you need something. Hope you're doing okay.
Kim
I slip the note under her door and get my Birkenstocks and Adidas jacket. I get my keys and take one last look at Amy's door before shutting the door and locking it.
* * *
I open my eyes. My head hurts badly. "Jackson..." That's all I can say before bolting to the bathroom in Jackson's apartment and throwing up. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand after a minute and lay down on the cool bathroom floor. I clap my palm to my head and wince.
I hear rustling and bumping in the other room. Jackson comes into the bathroom. I look up and immediately look down again after I see him fully undressed. I cover my eyes with my hand. "Jackson, we talked about this."
"Hypocrite." I hear him mumble. He laughs softly as he walks out. I'm confused. I gasp and quickly uncover my eyes and sit up. He's right.