Chapter Eighteen

"Isn't my skirt a little... short for this, Kim?"

"It's alright, Amy, you'll be fine."

"Kim, you're sure? I keep having to pull it down."

"If you want you can change, but you look perfect to me."

"Well that's 'cause to you, I look sexy."

"Eh... You're not wrong."

"I just don't know if this is the right... Dress for this kinda thing..."

I walk over to Amy and pull down her skirt. "You could put on some tights if you wanted," I suggest.

Amy hesitates, then nods. She walks back to her room and shuts the door behind her. I quickly and casually follow her. I open the door and sit on her bed.

"Kim!"

"Relax, I'm not looking!" I say, turning and looking at the wall.

I hear Amy undress and within a couple minutes she clears her throat. "You can turn around now." Amy isn't used to... My behavior, yet.

I turn around and smile. "Great."

I get up and take her hand.

I can feel it shaking. I kiss her cheek and she relaxes a little. "It's gonna be okay."

"B-But..." Amy stutters. "What if they don't think I'm the right person for the job? What about my hair?"

"Amy, I bet lots of art teachers have colored hair!" I say. "Plus, you won't technically get the job until next school year."

Amy nods slowly, but she doesn't looks sure of herself. I sigh and walk with her out to my car.

I start the car and start driving. "The interview's at the elementary, right?"

Amy nods. I turn the corner. She gasps a little. "S-Slow down a bit..."

"It's alright," I say, turning another corner swiftly. "I would never let anything happen to you."

Amy grips the armrests for her seat.

I frown and slow down.

I turn a few more corners before I reach the elementary school. I park.

"Do you want me to walk you to the door?"

Amy nods.

I smile a little and get out. I take her hand and walk with her to the front door. "You know where it is?"

Amy nods.

"You know what to do?"

Amy nods.

"Then you're all set," I say. I hug her and whisper into her ear, "You'll be great."

She nods, and I let her inside. I walk back to my car and start driving down the street.

I see a bar coming up ahead.

It seems to be luring me in...

No. I... I can't.

But... I'll only have a couple drinks.

It'll be fine.

I'll be out in no time.

I park in the bar parking lot and lock my car. I check for my wallet in my pocket as I walk in. Wow. It's been awhile since I've been to a bar. I forgot how many men stare at me on a daily basis-- especially at the bar when they're wasted.

I sit down at one of the empty seats at the counter. A bartender comes over, wiping a beer mug with a dirty-looking rag. His name tag reads 'Jeff.'

"What can I do you tonight, ma'am?" Jeff asks.

"Um, one red wine, please," I answer rather quietly. I have a weird feeling about this, but I don't know why...

Jeff nods and goes into the back.

After a minute, Jeff comes back with a wine glass half-way filled.

I thank Jeff and he leaves to help another person. I slowly take a sip of my wine and suddenly remember this feeling. My head feels the funny sizzling feeling it used to get. I smile a little and keep drinking.

After I finish my glass, I smile again. I call for Jeff and ask for another one.

And another.

And another...

And...

I hiccup and snicker at myself. I'm almost falling off the counter. Jeff keeps having to come over and help me up or save me from falling and hitting my head or something. I'm surprised he hasn't kicked me out yet.

Eventually, Jeff hands me another wine glass hesitantly. I look at it and pick it up, spilling it as I try to focus on the wine inside.

"Jeff!" I yell louder than I intended. Jeff pokes his head out of the back.

"Mm?"

"Can you--hic!--Start... Brimming me?" My words are slurring and my head feels heavy. I giggle softly. Jeff hesitates but comes back with a brimmed glass.

After who knows how long, I look behind me. There's barely any people left in the bar. I yell to Jeff that I've had enough and stagger to the person in the back.

He has black hair and is smoking. I catch him off-guard as I stumble next to him on the couch. He nearly swallows his cigarette.

I hiccup. "H-Hi..." I say, putting my hand on his shoulder and trying to focus on his eyes.

The guy stares for a second, but his face relaxes. He puts his arm around me. "Hey," he says seductively.

"How--hic!--do you d-do it?" I say, smiling stupidly.

"Do what?"

"You don't seem drunk at all..." I say, laying on his lap and looking up at him.

He laughs. "I'm not drunk, that's why," he says.

I shoot him a confused look. My eyes go a little cross-eyed. "Then why--hic!--are you at a bar?"

He laughs again. "Maybe to run into chicks not unlike yourself..."

I smile drunkenly but suddenly perk up, my hiccuping getting out of control.

I get off his lap and fall onto the floor onto vomit and cigarettes.

He tries to help me up but I jerk away and crawl across the bar. He follows me. "What's up?"

"I--hic!--I think I have a girlfriend, mister..."

"Well, she's not here, is she?" He says, leaning into me and trapping me in the couch. He presses against my chest and leans into my neck.

"N-No--hic!" I'm confused...

"Then what's the harm of having a little fun?" I feel his lips meet mine, but this isn't like when I kiss Amy. This is sickening. It doesn't feel right. He tastes of cigarettes and liquor. My eyes tear up. I want to go home...

I jump when I feel him pressing harder on my chest. "Don't be scared, kitty," he says.

"J-Jeff!" I yell, not knowing what else to do.

Jeff pokes his head out of the back then starts yelling at the guy.

"Hey! Get off of her!"

Jeff runs over and forces the guy off me. Tears spill down my face. Jeff talks to the guy. I hear the words 'assault' and 'police' and 'arrested,' but I can't process what any of them mean. The room won't stop spinning, and I know that Amy's going to be mad at me... For everything.

Jeff escorts the guy out before crossing over to me. "You alright, kid?"

I nod, but it's a lie. He seems to tell, because he tucks my hair behind my ear. "You want to go home, don't ya, kid?"

I nod, tears pouring out of my eyes.

Jeff seems to feel bad and gives me a hug. "It's alright... I'll get you home, kid." I cry on his shoulder and don't want to let go. It's like hugging a big brother when you're in need of sympathy...

Jeff eventually picks me up 'princess-style' after awhile. Everything is getting really blurry, and I can tell I'm close to blacking out.

Jeff puts me in the backseat of my car after I point out which one's mine. He gets my keys from my pocket and starts the car. "Do you know where your house is, kid?"

I shake my head, starting to cry slightly louder.

Jeff looks so sad. He holds my face, not in a seductive way, in a sympathetic way. A way that makes me feel loved. An Amy way.

He looks around in my phone for any information of where my house might be. He then looks through my contacts. He sees that Amy is the first contact on the list, and has a heart emoji in it. He shows me. "Do you want me to call Amy?"

I start shaking and curl up into a ball.

"Hey... Hey..."

"A-Amy is gonna be so-o mad!" I cry in the backseat.

"Is she... A friend?"

"Sh-She's my roommate...:

"Ah..."

He finally finds something in my phone. I don't know what, but he starts the car and starts driving. I look outside and see that it's nighttime. I facepalm myself and cry silently.

Jeff often glances at me from the rear view mirror. After a few minutes, he pulls into a parking lot and carries me into a building. He takes me up to what should be my apartment, but I don't want to leave his side. I cling to his shirt and cry.

"I'm sc-scared-d..."

Jeff brushes his fingers through my hair and comforts me. He eventually carries me silently inside and puts me in my bed. I see that Amy is nowhere to be seen and is probably in bed. Jeff tries to leave, but I can tell he's afraid to leave me.

Eventually, Jeff tucks my hair behind my ear one last time before leaving his phone number on a sticky-note on the nightstand and leaving.

I curl into a ball, but it's not long until I get up and rush to the bathroom. I lean over the toilet and it all comes out. I just want to die. I lay down on the cool bathroom floor and lay as if I'm dead: not moving at all, not even blinking, having that vacant look in my eyes. The only moving I do is the twitching every now and then and getting up quickly before my vomit spills all over the floor.

I don't want to face Amy tomorrow. I know I'll have to, but if I could stop it, I would.

I just want to die.

I just want to die...