1.38. A New Reality

There. I would've used to have them accept Avner, but this was more important. I studied hard for this.

"Pu'er I.."

"That isn't how it works."

"If you're going to have a family in the future, this is what you have to expect."

"How dare you say something like that?!"

"It's the truth, see, you said I was wrong yet again."

"It's our irul?! You only care about how you feel all the time and never try to consider another person's feelings for once?"

"Since when were you concerned about mine?"

Why..

"S-Stop.."

"I've always been concerned! I always asked you to tell me and you never say, always thinking that I don't listen, I don't listen. I'm listening right now and you're still not going to tell me?"

I grabbed my ears.

I don't want to hear it..

Why..?

"N-No.. that's a lie.. a lie.."

"P-Pu'er?"

"It's all your fault!"

"Now you're accusing me?!"

I didn't know when, I didn't know how. I locked my door shut and cried.

[Pu'er, I'm sorry.]

"I-Is why they said t-true.."

Please don't be. Please don't be..

[No.]

"R-Right?"

[A happy family is possible. Don't give up hope Pu'er.]

Y-Yes.. it's possible. It's possible.. I can do this..

What I do means shit in this family. Pointless. Why did they even tell me to study? I worked so hard and can't even solve the problem in my own family.

Aei always told me to study hard to prevent mom from getting mad.

But now aei is mad because I have good results?

There must be something wrong with their heads.. I can't think of anything else.

"Pu'er, are you there?"

I dug my head into my knee. Tears poured out even more.

Why do you even ask? If you're concerned, why not just stop the argument, mom?

"I'm sorry Pu'er, you can't change another person. That's human nature."

S-So what? This family doomed? There's nothing I can do about it? So I'll be living like this, having to hear you argue every day?

"This is how a family is. If you can't bear this sort of suffering, you better not get a family. That's the only advice that I can give you."

Her words were so painful.

So..

Painful.

My breathing grew unsteady, heart beating irregularly. Blood rushed to my head, my chest felt tight and empty at the same time.

[Pu'er don't..]

"SHUT UP!!"

I shouted hysterically. Grabbing my glasses, I threw it. It bounced on the ground.

"SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!" I bangged on the door.

Go away mom! Just leave me alone! Just leave me alone..

I fell to my knee, hair having turned a mess from all that movement.

If you can't bear this sort of suffering, you better not get a family.

Love is blind.

You won't know your partner until you marry him or her.

If you can't accept their flaws, you better not get a partner.

The first year is easy, it's the years after that-that are the difficult ones.

Divorce rate is around 80 percent.

You don't know when your partner will have an affair with you.

You have to take care of yourself, you can't depend on your partner.

Sometimes you just have to sacrifice yourself for them.

It's part of your responsibility.

There's no such thing as a family without any arguments.

"That's not true.. not true.."

I don't believe it.

I don't want to believe it.

Tell me it's wrong.

Tell me that..

Why.

"I tried so hard.."

My eyelids feel heavy.

How can I be so naive? Of course my examination results don't mean anything to this family. It never did. All they wanted was to flaunt my achievement.

Why did I ever do it for them? People can get by with so much lesser.

So why?

Why was I so naive..

The world was darkening.

I was scared, not naive.

I wanted to finally put an end to the family fight. I didn't like to see them fight.

The sounds were becoming awash, like the roar of a wave.

But that's just not possible.

Because happy endings.. don't exist.

===

<Pu'er Julis>

{REVITALIZATION OF SYSTEM}

{WELCOME BACK PU'ER}

{Length of service: 189th reincarnation}

{PU'ER JULIS_ ANGEL_OF_THE_189TH_REINCARNATION}

{Memories of the previous life have been restored}

{Class Operative: CORVETTE}

{Class Operative: SUBMARINE}

{SUBSTITUTION TRANSFER SUCCESS.}

{Karma: [CALCULATING..]}

{Karma: +25}

{WARNING: AS YOU ARE A THREAT IN THE CATALOG OF HERETICS, DO NOT APPROACH THE ANGELS ASSOCIATION WITH THIS FORM}

{ANNOUNCEMENT: YOU MAY INTEGRATE YOUR MEMORIES INTO PU'ER JULIS_ ANGEL_OF_THE_190TH_REINCARNATION}

{ANNOUNCEMENT: YOU MAY GIVE PU'ER JULIS_ANGEL_OF_THE_190TH_REINCARNATION FREE WILL DURING INACTIVE PERIODS AS A MEANS TO HIDE}

I raised my body.

Eyes still closed, I sharpened my senses and felt the air around me. The sensation of my clothes, the temperature of the room. The texture of the floor and the sounds of the nights.

I opened my eyes and glanced at the screen. Emotions which I'm not able to put into words swirled in my heart.

Master Avner. Pu'er Julis here reporting.

The ritual was a success. I have successfully retained my memories.

I'm sorry for having hurt you..

Hm. It seems his theory was correct. I have 2 identities now.

I attempted to feel for any abnormalities or changes in my body. I've become younger, and warrier.

I rubbed my teary eyes.

Pu'er Greenwood. The burden on her heart is so heavy, what a pitiful child. She must learn..

Xe.

I have become an elf?

I pinched my ears. Sharp and pointy.

Goodness gracious. Master Avner said that he had been searching for a suitable elf, did he do something to tamper with my body? The thought of it made me feel slightly ticklish.

I waved my hands in front, golden light coalesced into form and a number of options appeared.

It seems I possess the abilities of both the corvette and submarine. Incredible, he actually managed to break the system ordinance. This is amazing..

I wonder what secondary class he received in this life?

No. I shouldn't celebrate so early.

My priority should be to find Master Avner. We need to begin preparing for the ritual. In case we die in this life, our memories will pass over to the next.

I had done my best to remove as many pieces of trash from Master Avner's sights as I could before I died. That didn't mean all threats were gone. I could be killed by the authorities if I was found to possess these illegal memories. Or worse..

Worse? What's worse?

Why can't I remember?

I held my head.

In my last moments, it was Master Avner who released me.. Why couldn't I recall..

The more I dug at it, the greater the severity of the pain. I decided to end my thoughts there.

That doesn't matter now. What's important is that I find him.

Let's see, Master Avner– is Pu'er Greenwood's crush. How convenient, we fell for the same person. Xe has a meeting with him at 7. How long has this child passed out for?

I grabbed the glasses that xe had tossed and wore them.

Leaving aside the minor scratches, the resilience of this thing is amazing. I would've understood if it were a phone, but for something as frail as a pair of glasses? Technology has come a long way.

"Ah, no wonder."

I was wrong to think that Master Avner contracted this unknown NtBM biological weapon.

He most probably had already awakened to his memories. I suppose he had been waiting for my return.

"Hm? I can't operate this thing?"

[Access denied. Unidentified user.]

Heh.. unidentified user your ass. I'm Pu'er.. huh?

I see.. so that's why.

In the mirror, my golden eyes reflected back to me.

===

It seems God had purposefully placed me in such a predicament to atone for my sins? To drop my incarnation into such a pitiful situation, what a drag.

Though, I will say that hirs situation is much more fortunate than most people. The only real issue is hirs parents. Something xe'll eventually get over with age.

I recalled that my this self had passed out after turmoil took over hirs mind. Xe's parents were in the midst of an argument. I was unsure if approaching them in my current form was a good idea. As such, I had decided to sneak out of the house.

The main entrance didn't seem possible. As someone staying in a highrise, my only other option would be out through this few story high glass window. It was barely large enough for my body to squeeze through. I would've never thought there'd come a day where I'd bless myself for my still immature breasts. How funny.

No. Wait. Will I even grow proper breasts?! I'm an elf. Shit!

Pu'er Greenwood body was still frail, so I had to substitute hirs strength using some of my mana.

Nobody should have noticed an elf climbing down from here, hopefully.

I made my way to the garden.

My heart beating ever quicker at the anticipation of our meeting.

I've been longing to see you again, Master.

===

dotturndot: Oh shit, now you know who that is in the Volume 1 cover art background behind Pu'er. Drumroll– it's another Pu'er! Also, part of what was written here comes from my own experience. I was naive enough in the past to actually believe that good results would resolve family problems. My hopes got crushed into bits of sand.