Your past mistakes do not define who you are

Healing is weird some days you are okay and you are doing just fine other days the pain resurfaces and hurts like it happened yesterday. It's a process that has to be completed there is no time frame you just have to keep going and know that when all is said and done you are going to be fine. It isn't easy it never is easy to leave the one you love but your sanity comes first. It's been a long time since I've been truly happy with myself I have not been true to myself for a while and it's been tearing me apart.

There is nothing more painful than losing yourself, when you lose yourself along the way it's as if a part of you dies in the process and it's as if almost you don't know how to find the way back to your true self you may find yourself in depression for a short period it is the scariest thing one can go through. 

So, I stopped trying to think about what I should do and started finding my way back on my feet instead. I had lost myself in all the busyness of life wanting to make it so badly I had forgotten how to live in the moment and I allowed my emotions to control me most of the time that I almost forget what was more important.

I lost myself in the process of it all I looked in the mirror every morning but I could not recognize who I am. I neglected to most beautiful thing in the universe which was me for so long. I lost myself I lost that girl that I was the one full of love, laughter, peace, and happiness I never took a moment to look at the beautiful gifts I had which my family who has been there all along. 

I guess I just put my true self aside as I chased life and got caught up in all the stuff I wanted, I wasted so much of my time chasing things that added no value but my inner child had been screaming and longing for me she waited for me patiently for me to remember who I truly was and to remember the things that made me happy and that brought my mind peace.

Today is the happiest moment of my life seeing and realizing my true worth, it hasn't been an easy journey one could say it was a very painful lack of sleep at most times. I needed to slow down and breath in the beauty more, the universe has been kind to me in so many ways I had l to appreciate my life more. I had neglected my inner child for so long I needed to let that girl inside to know it was okay she needed to know that it was time to come out again and I was sorry for shutting her out for long and it was safe to blossom and emerge freely once more without living in fear of the unknown. 

She has helped me survive time and time again so appreciating her and loving her more is the least that I could do. There was no need to live in fear anymore for better days are near, it is weird how we sometimes get drifted away in the chasing of our dreams we forget the true meaning of living.

Being obsessed with being the best eversion of yourself to everybody else except from yourself may be the death of you. We need to remember that listening to our inner child is also important too it gives us time to fill our souls with peace and love that inner child was given to you by God that's his way of communicating with you somehow. It is your conscious that guides you when no one else can. 

Which is crucial to listen to as much as pursuing our dreams, you see one could never go wrong when we allow ourselves to be one with your inner child and to be one with our true self because the moment you do you find your true purpose.

I had blocked my inner child out for so long that I tried running from her and today I'm calling that girl that's been waiting for me for so many years. The one that kept me company when everyone else wasn't around for me. I am inviting her back into my life I need her back it's been far too lonely without her I've let her be neglected for too long and I need her back she has helped me cope for so many years so it is now time to return the favor. 

She needs to feel the water with her pure feet that has been damaged due to me not having proper shoes to protect them and the sunlight on her face that isn't covered in tears. She needs to dance under the stars with her head held high she needs to do all the things she wanted and more.

She needs to understand that she is safe now and that it is time to sing for joy. She needs to rejoice more and cry less it is now time to finally come home to a happy home. Truly speaking I cannot wait, I can't wait to let her out. It's time to stop walking you have done well it's time to live again.

 Now that I realize what I always knew before I was born which is to dance through the days and fly high throughout my life today truly is a great day to be alive.

I am not going to allow my past mistakes to determine my future I give myself permission to love again but this time around with no fear. A lot of people underestimate how hard it is to be understood and to have someone's trust takes a certain type of fearlessness to allow anyone in because the moment you allow someone in and to let them see your true self you no longer have control on what they do with your loyalty, it is in their hands.

One needs to remember that we are all human and that we are all bound to make mistakes dwelling on them is stupidity but learning something from it is what one would call wisdom because only a wise person knows that in order to grow one must fail a few times to regain their strength and to work on their weakness so they do not repeat the same mistakes over and over again then expect new results. The question one should ask themselves is are you strong and honest enough to open up and be transparent with their true selves.

Do not get me wrong I am not saying you are always to blame but sometimes acknowledging your part plays a huge role in your life you are what you attract. We need to reflect and remember where we come from and where we are going. I am not saying you must cut the whole world off rather one should choose very carefully who they let in their lives and should be very selective of whom, you allow to see your weakness because sometimes that person you trust can use that to destroy you.

Who do you let in one would ask? Well, that is a very tricky question because none of us can see everyone's true intentions sometimes people will open you up so that they can break you apart, they will use your insecurities against you they will be selective on which points they can attack you with, they are a whole lot more dangerous than your enemies because they laugh in your face whilst they sponge the life out of you. 

I have seen so many beautiful souls damaged because they fall in the wrong hands or followed the wrong crowd having a back bone does more good than bad. Trust takes years to earn but a matter of seconds to be broken so be careful who you allow in your private space. 

With that being said we also need to bear in mind that there are some people in real life who are sociopaths in this world, both male and female who enjoy seeing you in pain so sometimes not surrounding yourself with business partners or any work related relationships maybe the best choice one could make for themselves. Your family is your biggest weakness so many will us that.

I know many of us have been hurt, but don't let your fears hold you back from being the best person you can be. It is not everyone that should get that opportunity to see your insecurities or weakness. You are hard to find with a diamond mind never lose your focus for the sake of acceptance or tolerate inappropriate behavior in any shape or form you are after all meant for precious hands.

The partner that is meant for is coming your way and in order to get your blessings you must be spiritually ready and you must be willing to learn their view of the world sometimes all we have to do is listen. You see the moment you do that is your souls will almost intertwined which takes you to another level where marriage takes place what God has yoked together no man can separate, so you should pray endlessly for a partner that will build you spiritually.

Marriage is a life time commitment and should be beautiful you should not feel like you are trapped hence you should be very selective with whom you choose to spend the rest of your life with they could make or break you. I have seen people end their marriages in a blink of an eye and then they end up raising broken children. Hence I say you should pray for your partner because that is a lifetime commitment, many people want you, but the real question who truly loves you or need you? Many may tell you what you want to hear but they cannot fake their love for you forever eventually time will reveal their true intentions. And maybe then it might be too late you will find yourself in a loveless marriage. You need to bear in mind that a person can only love you and give you the love you deserve if they love themselves and if they are truly willing to love you in return.

You can waste your whole life loving someone who would not hesitate to leave you the moment they saw someone better. So do not be fooled by materialistic items or positions.

You cannot expect to receive love from a person who does not love themselves, they themselves don't know what true love is. So how could they possibly love you or give you the love you deserve? People are what they have been taught so until one wants to change you could never change them and if they have never felt from deep within lust will always be their number one priority, they could never love you they need to deal with their past somehow or try to make peace with their past disappointments. Otherwise you will just be an item they could easily replace, the only time they will change is when they are given a reason to when they see the importance of your presents, they will work endlessly in becoming the best they can be for you and themselves that is the only time you'll be able to grow together.