Chapter 9: When worse becomes worst IV

"What are you thinking?" Emily asked Serena who was still stuck in silence.

Serena was still contemplating, she knew the chance was miniscule if she were to ask him for help, but who else can she ask help from? That aside… "I… I'm thinking about asking… Emily… what do you think about asking Charlton for help?"

Emily couldn't stop herself from scoffing and then raising her voice. "Really! Serena? After everything he's done to you? Have you lost your wits? Did being cooped up here turned you bonkers? Have you gone mad? What's wrong with you? You can ask anyone, and I mean anyone, and it would still be better than asking that one man, if one can even call him that. Have you forgotten everything he's done? Why you're even in this situation? Gods. I don't know what to say."

Serena swallowed. A part of her knew that Emily would react that way. But still… "Emily, this is not about what he's done to me or to anyone in the past for that matter. But fact is, he's the only one in position who can…"

"Stop. Stop right there. It doesn't matter? Serena, in case you forgot, he's the reason your husband, God bless his soul, died. Geoffrey who has been good to you, who sacrificed everything just to protect your dignity, and what? This is how you repay him? The monarchist lost the war because of that traitorous snake! If not for him, Geoffrey would still be alive, Leonard would not be the way he is now, and you, you won't even be here and still be the crown princess." So offended was Emily that she said everything in one go. "Gods. What's wrong with you?"

Serena pressed her lips. She had to remind herself that Emily has no idea about what Geoffrey did in the past. That aside, although there was some truth that Charlton was the cause of their current predicament, she knew that the real culprit was still herself.

Emily felt more furious seeing Serena's expression. It's the face she usually makes when she's not convinced and would go ahead with whatever she thought was right. She couldn't help but sneer.

"You think I don't know what's running in your head? Even at this time, Serena. Are you thinking of using this situation as an excuse to approach him? You think he will come to your rescue and save you like some damsel in distress and be on your way to happily ever after? Sorry, but are you stupid or stupid?" Emily ended sarcastically.

Serena felt like she was doused in cold water. She wanted to deny Emily's words, but… despite how hard it was to swallow… there's truth to them and being found out so easily made her very ashamed.

Hearing no response from Serena, Emily knew her suspicion was right which only made her angrier. So, she continued.

"I'm right, am I not? I can't believe that after all this time… Have you been waiting for him? Did you think he has been also waiting for you? That all this time he hasn't reached out to you because he also felt ashamed for what he did in some way?

 I hate to break it to you, but Serena, Charlton doesn't care. You think you have been in his mind? That he's just waiting for the right timing? Poor you.

Don't you know? Of course you don't know, what with you being here in your self-imposed hiding all that while. Then let me tell you, Charlton has a lover. He's been parading her in balls from the beginning of this Season, you know? And from what I know they've been together for longer than that." Emily couldn't help but jeer.

At Emily's words, Serena felt her heart twist and her stomach churn. She knew that there was the possibility, Charlton has been making a spectacle about wooing Annalys, her lady-in-waiting, in the past.

But she knew that Charlton was just trying to use her to have the Cross ducal family on his side. It's impossible that he… he couldn't possibly… as if someone drowning and trying to catch her breath, Serena cautiously uttered in askance. "Is it Annalys?"

"Who cares who it is? Why? You think if it's Annalys, you can convince him otherwise?" Emily laughed sardonically. "But to answer your question, thankfully No. I don't know if you know her, but it's Duke Ligeti's granddaughter."

Serena shut her eyes while biting her lower lip. She could feel her heart at the pit of her stomach. Larissa. She could vividly recall the blond haired, blue eyed young lady who sat in front of the piano and sang during Duke Ligeti's Soiree almost two years ago.

How can she forget? Larissa's performance was exquisite and the look on Charlton's face when he thought she wasn't looking… his slight smile and gentle eyes as he watched the lady perform… she already had felt trepidation then. Did… did it all start there?

For him to be able to feel that way at that time, then even then… all the while, it has truly been just pretense. His words of love were all false just to lure her. He never came back with any purpose other than to hurt her, take advantage of her, and use her against Geoffrey.

Just when she thought that she has no more tears to shed, her tears started falling. It was as if a part inside her she didn't know still existed was breaking and it hurts. Even though she knew she shouldn't feel this way, she couldn't help it.

Perhaps it's truly because she was still holding hope for Charlton. That maybe they can have another chance. If she told him what Geoffrey did, if he knew… maybe… but would it change anything? Absolutely nothing. Just because she found out what Geoffrey did meant that it would undo everything and every choice she made.

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TBC

A/N:

In this novel, the Season is a yearly event for the nobilities comprising of a series of balls, receptions and social and sporting events which ran from July to October each year. The year before they did not hold it because the war just ended. Just in case everyone's wondering.