All The "Sorry"'s I Never Said (6)

A/N: Chapter uploads will get a bit more inconsistent for the next week or so. AP class testing (American highschool classes with the work and teachings of a college class) is coming up and I have a lot of other important things to do and study for. Of course I'll still upload chapters a couple times a week, but every other day or daily chapters will more than likely be put on hold for a week or two. Thank you for your patience and enjoy this longer chap (: 

Joon-woo slipped on the faux black leather dress shoes that he had worn the day before. He also wore the same stage outfit he had worn the day before. It was how the Producers illusioned everything being shot in one day– though most things were. Sometimes recordings started at 8 A.M. and ended at 11 P.M.! Really, on those days it was the worst. 

When he stepped out of the small dressing room, he was immediately bombarded with the sight of three different make-up artists. Their faces were determined and their hands equipped with various brushes and make-up types. Joon-woo pursed his lips. Really, this was ridiculous. 

The show's make-up artists often fought or bickered over who got to do Joon-woo's make-up for that day. They professed their love for how easy it was to do his make-up and how little he needed. The sight often made Joon-woo second guess whether acted manly enough to pass as such. He contemplated acting difficult while getting his make-up done like the other contestants to seem more man-like, but ultimately found it too much effort. 

Joon-woo let himself get pulled away by the quicker make-up artist, much to the others' clear dismay. 

"Joon-woo-ssi, aren't I your favorite?" She asked, awkwardly flaunting the fact that Joon-woo had picked her to her sulking co-workers. Other contestants watched the scene with narrowed eyes. They had gotten used to their obsession, but Joon-woo knew they only found it more reason to see Joon-woo as a rival. 

"I don't have favorites." Joon-woo replied, letting her dab a brush of paler concealer over Joon-woo's natural eyebags. He sat completely still, not even flinching to the touch as the other contestants did. 

It was then Baek Du-Ho and Ryeo Hyun exited another set of dressing rooms. The temporary bleach and dye in their hair was starting to fade, less so than Joon-woo's of course. They also wore the same stage outfits as the day before. Reggie and Song Chunghee were always the last to be ready. 

Ryeo Hyun spotted Joon-woo and led Baek Du-Ho and himself in Joon-woo's direction. Baek Du-Ho almost watched Joon-woo with… admiration? Was he doing anything admirable?

"You two should take note from Joon-woo-ssi." The make-up artist scolded. "He doesn't flinch or awkwardly shift… You two could learn…" She spoke. 

Joon-woo sighed, watching as Baek Du-Ho and Ryeo Hyun nodded rigorously, keeping their eyes panned onto Joon-woo's blank and unmoving face. Ridiculous, he thought, so damn ridiculous.

–+–

Sat in their team seats, Team One took their place. Many jealous eyes were on them, contestant wise. Cameras were yet to be rolling and the others' took this as a perfect time to get their jealous anger out. Team Three, Mi Yong and Jung Hyun-Ok's team, was going through the same thing.

They were known fan favorites, PD favorites, and every other favorite there was. Though Joon-woo disagreed with his status as the PD's favorite… But as if the fire wasn't already budding, Mi Yong and by proxy Jung Hyun-Ok, stood and walked over to their Team One table. Joon-woo's eyes widened in surprise.

"Good morning my beautiful Dongsaengs..!" Mi Yong greeted loudly with a curt wave. He was intentionally provoking the others'. 

Not catching on, Reggie waved Mi Yong's way. "Ah, good morning Hyungs!" He replied, American accent slightly showing. 

Jung Hyun-Ok took a comfy, but not-too-close seat next to Joon-woo. "Did you eat breakfast this morning..?" He asked Joon-woo in a whisper.

Joon-woo clicked at his tongue. He hadn't. But why did he care so much? Jung Hyun-Ok sighed at Joon-woo's silence. Joon-woo felt the need to prove himself when it came to someone as observant as Jung Hyun-Ok or Ryeo Hyun.

"I forgot…" Joon-woo huffed, "I'll eat a bigger lunch…" 

Mi Yong who'd overheard the two sat on the other side of Joon-woo, leaning his head on Joon-woo's shoulder dramatically. Joon-woo almost flinched at the action. He hadn't gotten used to Mi Yong's touchy-ness yet and it wasn't sure he would ever. 

"Be realistic…" Mi Yong mocked, "Recording'll end half past eight most likely. We have interviews, shoots, and–" Mi Yong paused, "Eliminations…" 

The mood at the team table dampened. Mi Yong, the oldest Hyung of the group, noticed such. "But I think we'll be okay. Let's trust our fans, yeah?" 

Joon-woo didn't faltar. He figured their fans would save them, though the idea of cutting the contestant number from 30 to 15 was quite the dramatic cut. Joon-woo wondered when he would be eliminated. In the top 15? The top 10? The debut line-up, he recalled, was just five…

A staff member began over to the table. Mi Yong slightly paled at the sight. The fearless Mi Yong was scared of a staff member?

"Team Three please stay with your team and get away from Joon-woo." The staff member lectured.

Quickly, Joon-woo's shoulder was free and his other side was empty. Mi Yong and Jung Hyun-Ok practically dashed to their team, just in time for the lights to slightly dim. 

"Cameras on in 1…" Producer Jang-Soo called. Joon-woo watched the man with a glare. "2…" It was eliminations that were happening next, would he have something up his sleeve? "3… Action!" Red dots started blinking, eyes shot towards the stage.

FYP, vocal trainer and judge, walked onto the stage and not Misa. The room stiffened. 

"FYP..? He's gonna eat us alive…" Song Chunghee whispered. 

Smiles broke out of Team One's mouths at the words. 

"Aish– Hopefully not…" Reggie replied. 

FYP wore a tucked in white suit shirt with suit pants darker than his eyes. Over it he wore a long black suit coat that resembled that of a gangster's. Even the Producer10 backdrop was a dimmer shade of purple and blue and yellow. 

"Our audience members were allowed two votes each…" FYP explained, "And with each vote, they could choose one contestant to use it on… But– the fifteen contestants with the lowest votes would be eliminated."

Slightly real and fake reactions rang through the contestants. Joon-woo didn't falter. He would be fine. They would be fine. He would be eliminated later into the show. Later. Later. 

FYP held up a blank envelope, it had gold wax keeping it shut. "In this envelope, are the names of the contestants leaving us today." He paused and looked at the contestants. He scanned through them and made purposeful eye contact with Joon-woo who reacted with a blank and controlled expression. "Let's begin."

What was this guy planning? Joon-woo wondered. All fan votes he knew were never really fan votes. The votes of fans were shredded and tossed to the trash in replacement for good drama.

FYP opened the envelope, dropping it onto the floor. It was quiet that the paper smacking against the stage was heard. Joon-woo swore he could hear his nerves and everyone else's more so. With a sigh, he unfolded the paper. 

"The first contestant leaving us tonight…" FYP's eyes searched the crowd for a few seconds that felt like ten. "Lee Jin-Ho." FYP's gaze landed on Team Six in which Lee Jin-Ho was on.

The room was filled with pity looks, fake or not, and gasps. Lee Jin-Ho's head fell into his hands, his group members patting at his back. 

Joon-woo thought Jin-Ho to be a good vocalist, though even Joon-woo's pre-Producer10 dance skills were better than his… Team Six's performance was full of voice cracks and faults too… Joon-woo didn't understand, wasn't this elimination fair? Producer Jang-Soo didn't play fair. 

FYP named contestants from Team Two, Four, Five and Six. The only Team One or Team Three contestant called was on Team Three. Heads flew into hands, tears were shed. The sight was quite sad, and all Joon-woo could imagine is how evily edited Team One would be. At this rate they would be left untouched…

With just three slots of eliminations left, Joon-woo narrowed his eyes on who would be next. So far his predictions were spot on. Thanks to excessive internet monitoring pre-phone ban, he knew how much each contestant was cared for. But now he was a bit lost. 

He had a vague idea on who would be the next one, but the last two… he was unsure. He bit his lip. Reggie had whispered worries and Song Chunghee had huffed. They were reacting well enough, Team One was fine. Team One was fine. 

"The next contestant to be eliminated is…" FYP began. Joon-woo clenched his fists, nails digging into his palms. He had been spot on with eliminations. He knew. He knew and he waited for the twist Producer Jang-Soo so clearly hinted at. "Bo Jaesang."

"…what?" Ryeo Hyun, the unreactive man himself, spoke up. "Hey…" He placed a hand over his own mouth. 

Reggie too, placed his hand over his mouth, eyes shining with emotion. "Hyung..?"

Joon-woo felt sick. Was this Producer Jang-Soo's plan? To create some turmoil, some drama among them? Joon-woo looked Ryeo Hyun's way. He recalled how close they were. He looked to find Bo Jaesang, then. 

Bo Jaesang sat with his Team Four members. His usually smile-y face was gone, slapped off, burned by blue flames. Bo Jaesang was crying. His nose scrunched up and he squinted as if his eyes were burning, and Joon-woo watched a tear roll down his cheek. 

Joon-woo reached for Ryeo Hyun, rubbing at his shoulder. He and Bo Jaesang were close. Joon-woo knew they grew up as trainees together. He didn't care to hear the last two eliminated contestant's names. He played the name in his head. Bo Jaesang. Bo Jaesang. Bo Jaesang. 

"I'm sorry Hyung…" Joon-woo apologized, trying to get a look at Ryeo Hyun. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

FYP, as if he hadn't broken 15 hearts and probably thousands more, cleared his throat. "Will the eliminated contestants enter the stage?"

Joon-woo pursed his lips, angry. Really, wasn't this too cruel? Wasn't this the idol industry she knew? Cruel and unforgiving. He watched as Bo Jaesang rose from his seat. Tears drooped down his face. It looked weird. Crying didn't look good on Bo Jaesang. It didn't look real. It didn't look real. 

The fifteen contestants stood on 15 spots of tape on the stage. All Joon-woo saw was Bo Jaesang. 

"Do you have any words for the fans, for the contestants, for the trainers–?" FYP asked Lee Jin-Ho. 

Lee Jin-Ho wore a blank face. He was holding back tears. Joon-woo knew that face like the back of his hand. "I want… to thank… everyone that supported me. My Team Six members, my Hyungs…" Then he broke. He broke down and all Joon-woo could see was a blue-sad air illuminate in the large stage room. 

FYP moved on to the next contestant, then the next, then the next. Joon-woo listened. It was the same spiel. Thank yous were repeated like it was the only Korean word they knew.

"Now, Bo Jaesang…" FYP handed the microphone to the quietly crying Bo Jaesang. 

Bo Jaesang looked at Reggie, Mi Yong, Jung Hyun-Ok, Joon-woo, then at Ryeo Hyun. "When I came on this show– I really didn't expect to last long… Really, the fact I made it this far has been the greatest most rewarding thing. Also– My roommates."

Eyes fell on Joon-woo, Ryeo Hyun, and Jung Hyun-Ok, who's usually blank faces were all filled with some sort of emotion. The cameras caught their emotional faces in 4k. 

"You have made my nights and mornings the most fun– ever." Bo Jaesang continued. Joon-woo noticed Ryeo Hyun clenching his fist. "Really, I don't think I would've made it this far without you guys. Even the honorary roommates…" He spoke in reference to Mi Yong and Reggie. "Thank you fans and everyone, really. I'll never forget my time here." 

Ah, Joon-woo thought, as the cameras were called to a halt. The red dots removed, Joon-woo sighed, a weight removed from his chest. But still, the room was as tense as could be. Team One was the only team without an eliminated contestant. Though that fact wasn't really noticeable, as the other teams grieved their lost member whether they really cared or not. 

Ryeo Hyun was still. Joon-woo was careful to even place a hand on the older man's shoulder. "Hyung..? Are you–" Then Joon-woo saw Ryeo Hyun's face. There was a tear, just like the few days before after the scandal was resolved. Ryeo Hyun shed a tear. 

Reggie noticed, shooing past Baek Du-Ho and Song Chunghee who watched the worsening scene with worried eyes. 

"He said…" Ryeo Hyun trailed off. "He said, he promised. He promised we would debut together…" He spoke quietly. Reggie and Joon-woo both stiffened at the words. "When he found me and yelled at me– that's what he said. That's what he said."

Joon-woo slightly gulped. What would be the reaction when he wasn't gonna debut with them..? He wondered. He wondered and suddenly the sadness he had put aside, came flying forth. 

"I'm sorry, Hyung…" Joon-woo repeated. They were the only comforting words Joon-woo knew. "I'm sorry."

"It's unfair…" Ryeo Hyun, in a daze, muttered. 

Reggie patted Ryeo Hyun on the back. He and Joon-woo exchanged a worried glance. Really Mi Yong and Jung Hyun-Ok didn't look too swell either. But Bo Jaesang looked the worst. Joon-woo was scared that if he stood and approached the other, he would only make Bo Jaesang cry harder. 

"Let's take an hour! Then we'll do new rankings!" Producer Jang-Soo spoke, voice loud and emotionless. 

Really, Joon-woo never hated a man more.