Desire for a Companion

Bai Gujing sat in the garden with puffy eyes. He'd been dropped off at this gazebo to soak up the sun, according to the old man. They had made a stop on the way to clean his face, but it seemed this body was eager to hold onto any traces of outside influences. It was the same for the scratches last night. As if his body was lonely and begging for proof he had some interaction with others today. Even if they were bad ones. In other words, it was a body that was easily injured. He wondered if he could fix it with his new energy mana thing.

There was a gardener and his helpers near a pond. A young man was playing a game while a child was making trouble to the side. The young man was probably supposed to stop the child from putting dirt and leaves into his mouth, but the young man seemed to think it below himself to pay attention to the kid. Instead, a nanny by the side stepped forward. Bai Gujing saw the young man glance at the nanny and the boy before noticing him. Bai Gujing watches the young man sneer and mouth something at him. It was the same thing the woman in the suit had said in the hallway earlier.

There was a slight sting in his chest. He was disdained here. He felt as though it would be more comfortable to be in a place where people liked his company. He wondered if he even had the power to go to such a place. He probably didn't have the power to leave, let alone start looking at other places for such a place. He would need to gain their trust first to move around in this world.

He realized he'd overlooked something. He needed to figure out if he would hide his new power or if he should keep it hidden. If he hid it for now and it came to light in the future he may raise their suspicions. So at first glance, the best way to move forward would be not to hide it and show it as a new ability that he got through the crosser. He would hide nothing, which would make him seem more truthful and less suspicious.

If he did this, he would probably end up being pushed into dungeons. They would also toss him down until they completely understood his new abilities and to what extent they could go so they would know what they needed to do to control him. If they couldn't suppress him they may try to kill him to get rid of something dangerous that could turn on them at any second. Bai Gujing himself did not know the extent of his abilities. What if he was so dangerous he could pose a threat to them?

On the other hand, he could try to hide it. Try being the keyword. One of their measuring devices may be able to sense something. Even if they didn't it wasn't likely he would always be able to hide it. Humanity was on the brink of destruction. If he hid it for now and ended up in a situation where he had to use it to save himself, they would likely find out he was hiding it. If he was hiding this, what else could he hide? They already suspect that he is a spy. He knew right where their mind would jump.

There was also the possibility that they would create a dangerous situation on purpose to test him. According to what he knew, humans were not above such schemes. If he fell into their trap and used it to protect himself there would be no chance to hide his ability in the chaos--unlike in a truly dangerous situation.

If it were before, he would show a small amount of what he could do, let them run their tests, and leave it at that. They'd toss him into dungeons and he could use his time outside to continue searching for Cleo. However, he no longer needed Cleo to survive.

He had crossed to try and find him out of desperation, but the chances of Cleo still being alive were nil to none. It was probably time he accepted Cleo was dead. Even if he did find him, so what? They were no longer mates. Cleo would have to move on and find someone else anyway. What was he supposed to do then?

His future was up in smoke.

He couldn't go back, either. He had become something else. Some other kind of being that was neither crosser nor human. He was suspected by one side and was incapable of living as or near the other.

Humans are social creatures. Beings that leaned on one another to survive. This did not only pertain to food, shelter, and offspring. There was also an emotional element. This emotional element was built up over time for humans to stay together to increase the chance of survival. By working together they create towns which turn into cities which turn into countries which create wagons and cars and planes. This was possible because knowledge was passed on from one generation to the next. It was possible because they were working together to create something more than a single being could create on their own. They gather together to protect their own. If this did not exist, even babies would not make it to adulthood. Humanity would die out.

But humans were not mindlessly 'caring and sharing' beings. Humans are emotional on the other end of the spectrum as well. Humans had hate and greed in them. Sometimes due to protecting their own, and sometimes due to wanting what others had, sparks of war turned into flames. When these flames rose the urgency in humans rose as well and their progress bursts. Communication methods and weapons are made. These allow humanity to rise even further and become even greater.

Bai Gujing had been trained as a warrior. He was to come to Earth and fight for humanity on the front lines of the dungeons. However, at this moment, other instincts from Xiao Bai flared up. He needed companionship. He needed someone to stand by his side as he faced his unknown and frightening future. Otherwise, he felt like he would shatter.

The image of Xiao Bai's empty eyes came to mind. Bai Gujing hated that expression. But he was scared that history would repeat itself. That seems to be a pattern with humanity.

In order to protect himself, and the Xiao Bai who gave himself over to them, he needed a support system. He did not know whether to show himself or hide inside. However, he felt like he had to share some of himself in order to get something from others. If he wanted companionship he needed to treat others like companions as well. He could not lock himself up as Xiao Bai had done. He decided he had to open himself up at least a little bit. After he finds someone to accept that 'little' he can offer, he will see if that person can be someone to share more of himself with. Someday, he hopes to find someone he can be entirely himself with.

Bai Gujing didn't know how his actions would affect those around him. He didn't know how they would move. If they came at him out of suspicion, he would have to defend himself somehow. But the scary part comes after that.

What was his future? What did he want out of life? Where did he want to go? Where did he want to end up? Would this world be kind or hard on him?

He hoped that since humanity faced the dungeons with the mind of war, they could treat his young self as someone to be cared for and protected. What was that saying? Cross his fingers?