Chapter 6

As I drove home, I felt quietly optimistic after my initial meeting with Ruth and Hiram. They were the sort of people it was hard to guess their ages. I assumed they could be anywhere between sixty to about seventy five, so my biggest concern was, if they would want to take on this task. They are probably at the stage of their lives were they are ready to retire and move to Florida. A week later I heard from Hiram and Ruth. They told me, as I expected, that they were starting to step back from work. As many of their long term clients were all either selling up, passing their businesses on to the next generation or just closing up shop and retiring. So that was that I thought. They then told me what I was proposing was exactly what they were looking for, yes they were going to semi-retire, but as they both had no family, or play golf or ever want to play golf they needed something to amuse themselves with. Setting up a steady reliable income for Bill fitted their retirement plans perfectly. All of his requirements were low stress, the two percent he was after was conservative, just enough work after it is all set up to give them something to keep occupied with.

Within two weeks Ruth and Hiram got back to Bill with a breakdown of how they would set up Bill's finances along with a cost to set up and an annual cost to maintain everything. Bill was most impressed with what he would get from Ruth and Hiram for their fees. He would basically end up with a comfortable income with no real worries taxes insurances all the annoying little details in our lives taken care of. All he would need to do was sign the odd document now and again. The only difficult decision required was trusting Ruth and Hiram. Thinking about this he went through all that he knew about them. They did not surround themselves with expensive luxury items, they did not spend more than seemed sensible, they seemed to enjoy the dull and boring he could not see any signs or reasons not to trust them, so Bill engaged H & R Freidman Finance and Legal Services Ltd to mange the bulk of his new found wealth.

It was going to take H & R Freidman Finance and Legal Services Ltd about six months to set up everything Bill wanted. As they learned more about Bill, the Ferris 1st Law of Assholes, Bill was starting to see the both of them as not only an excellent service provider but as sort of friends as well. Ruth had met Hiram at university, they just sort of fit together. When working together they hardly talked but seemed to communicate at a higher level than simple words, they seemed to know what each was thinking without saying anything. Bill's asshole theory seemed to amuse them. Ruth and Hiram set up a private company for Bill, AS Hol Consulting Ltd. This company had a single employee Bill Ferris an engineer. The company was to pay this engineer rather well. Way above the going rate for an engineer at the start of his career. He also had a wallet full of business cards and a company credit card for emergencies. The company had a three person board of directors. Hiram Freidman CEO and COF (Chief of Finance ) and Ruth Freidman Company Secretary and Company Legal Representative. These two also received a salary, but the observant would realize these salaries were significantly less than would be normal for a Billion dollar operation.

While it was all being put together Bill keeping his head down plodded away at his job. The management never bothered to replace James Fredericks as even with, in theory, being one man down productivity was about the same or slightly better. Once Hiram and Ruth had everything set up and ready to go, Bill handed in his two week notice. It took a couple of days for them to wake up and realize they were about to loose someone who had most of the work in this department. I quick offer of a salary close to what they had paid James Fredericks was made. Bill turned turned down this offer, informing them he had already accepted an offer from another firm, after all he added I did graduate top of my class, so it is to be expected that I would sooner or later be headhunted by another firm.

Bill had now finished completely with his old employer, H & R Freidman Finance and Legal Services Ltd., had done their job well, leaving Bill with a regular income better than he had ever had working. He would need to be so near the top of the corporate ladder to make any sort of salary comparable to the amount he was now receiving for doing absolutely nothing. Bill having the analytical mind of an engineer and about to set off on the great asshole adventure, thought to himself, I need to get a bit of data, build up a knowledge base around assholes, go observe some in their natural habitat. The first place that came into his mind was politicians, politics government at both the State and National level, but he quickly dismissed this as not being possible, he was only worth around around one billion, political assholeness requires several billions to participate in.

Bill expected he would find good selection of assholes in Vegas, stupid assholes, drunken assholes, lazy assholes, useless rich assholes, greedy rich assholes gambling assholes, bad assholes, maybe even some evil assholes and possibly politician assholes. He expected the most common sorts of assholes he would find though would be a mix of the stupid, the drunken, useless rich, greedy rich and assholes that gamble way more than they can afford. Ruth and Hiram almost seemed to be more excited than me, as I set off to start my formal testing of the Ferris 1st Law of Assholes.