Nightmares, Again

[NIKITA]

When I get home, I can't shake the feeling that someone is watching me. Why someone would watch me is beyond me.

I am just a simple doctor with nothing else left to be lost. Maybe if there was something else for me, I could care, but at the moment, they can watch me all they want; I don't really care anymore.

The woman I left in here earlier is gone, and I thank God for that. I can't deal with any drama today. I'm tired and exhausted from my shift today, and even though I have been busy over the past hours, I can't get myself to sleep.

So dejectedly, I lay in my bed, hoping I get some sleep that my body really needs even though my brain is having no trouble being a bitch to me.

With everything that has happened in my life, my sleep is the least of my worries. I need to know what happened to my parents because the crash was not a usual crash, not that any plane crash is typical, but I suspect foul play.

My ever-so-busy schedule never allows me to look into the whole thing, but with the break I'm planning, I can find myself new answers, answers that the doctors and the police refuse to give me to date.

********

[Flashback]

"Pavlenko household, how can I help you?" a woman asks, and I know that voice; it belongs to Alyona, grandpa's servant.

Her thick Russian accent is attractive to an extent, and I wish I had it, but my family is my most significant concern for now. I need to know if I'm just paranoid because as crazy as it sounds, my paranoia will make me feel better if it's all just paranoia without any truths bound to it.

"Hello Alyona, Nikita here. Have papa, and the rest arrived? I have tried calling several times, but no one is responding."

I know I'm lying through my teeth, but this woman right here is my only hope because I'm just a few minutes from going crazy. I need answers with every minute that passes, but I cannot let her know how desperate I am. So I wait like it's the best thing that can ever happen to a highly impatient human like me, but who's checking anyway.

"Oh dear, Master Pavlenko and the madam have already left to go to the private airstrip. I think they will be here soon. Don't worry, dear. I will tell them to call you as soon as they get home. Stay safe." Alyona tells me, and I swear I want to jump her on the phone.

The television seems to be making noise, but I decide not to focus on that. Instead, my focus is on the images on the television. The images of a familiar private jet. It looks like the one I waved goodbye at not three hours ago. I am unable to hear things clearly, but I see shards of the plane everywhere.

Surely this cannot be my family, right? But then my worst fears are coming true, and I am helpless against them. Everyone around me seems to fade as my eyes zero in on the headlines.

"Pavlenko airplane crashes in the mountains hours after take-off," one headline reads, but I need better information. Something that might calm my wrecked nerves down. So I go through all the news channels on the television, but everything remains the same.

"Dazai Pavlenko and family presumed dead in a grizzly plane crash."

"the end of an era as the Dazai Pavlenko family is reduced to ashes."

"Pavlenko plane crash takes all lives on board, and flight manifests to be released soon."

"Pavlenko family dead as their private jet crashes in the mountains."

I look for Natalya and find her standing beside me, wearing the same face like mine, trying to tell me it will be okay, but will it? Maybe this is just another plane that we own. It has to be, right? I know I'm in serious denial, but this is not how I lose everything.

This is not how I make my entrance as the chief of surgery. Not with people who will look at me in pity, like some basket case.

Maybe this is another nightmare, and I'm just in a zone where I'm trapped between my intuition and the reality of everything. Perhaps this is just one of those days that doctor Nikita is tired and hallucinating, but when have I ever hallucinated?

Maybe this is a sick joke, I repeat for the hundredth time, but all the news channels and the internet are saying the same thing. If this is a prank, then it better be world fools day because otherwise, I might just change careers.

The world must surely hate me if this happens just a few days before I complete my project. Or maybe just maybe this is just some hallucination. I rush to my dad's study room and begin the hack on the airplane's BlackBox.

I know there's some information there.

I know there has to be because this is unacceptable.

With the program running, I make another call to Alyona, hoping this time she will tell me that my parents are already there. And hopefully, I will get to hear killing like she always does. Maybe I will listen to grandma scolding everyone in Russian, and maybe I'll also hear Sammy complain about how the flight was.

The line rings, but it doesn't take long before someone picks up.

"Oh Nikita dear, how are you doing?" what the fuck? Why would she ask me how I'm doing?..unless it's true. Oh God, it really is true that my family had been reduced to chaos. It really is true.

"Heyy Alyona, are they there yet? The last time you said pops was out there," I ask her, hoping she can clear the air for me even though I have a feeling she's going to slap me with the worst news yet.

"Oh dear, they called a while ago to give me the bad news. Your parents... I don't know how to tell you this. Everyone died in the crash. Your grandparents are there at the crash site. No one was saved yet. There are no bodies, no nothing Nikita. I'm scared." That hits me hard because it's pointless trying to find a reason right now.

***

I wake up with a gasp, frustrated by everything that has been happening, my decision to leave the hospital, and the nightmares that keep haunting me. Despite being without a family, it seems like my demons are also in a race with my sanity.

How great.