Chapter 5: Willingness

"Where am I?" The young girl mumbled as she looked around the prairie.

The gentle breeze danced with her brown hair, gently moving it to the side. She observed the flowers as they peacefully bathed in the sun. Their sweet aroma filled her nostrils. It was peaceful and quiet, a place she didn't want to leave. She noticed her feet were bare and smiled.

"The grass feels nice," she thought as she walked around.

She spread her arms, closed her eyes, and lifted her face to the sky. She giggled as she spun around to a melody that could only be found in her heart. A melody from long ago. Where was this melody from? She didn't know and it didn't matter right now.

Round and round she spun, until she became dizzy and tried to balance herself. 

"Lydia…" a whisper called out.

The young girl looked around. Did she hear that right? Was it her imagination? 

"Lydia…" she turned her face towards the direction the whisper came from.

The young girl hesitated for a moment. She felt the urge to go towards the voice but something within her forced her to follow it.

"Lydia…hurry" the voice sounded clearer now.

She didn't realize it at first but now her legs were running, desperate to reach the voice.

"Where am I going? Who is calling?" she said as she got further from the prairie. 

Her legs finally stopped as she reached a small pond. She struggled to catch her breath as she had run quite a distance. She noticed it had grown darker. The sun wasn't out anymore but a starry night sky. She thought it was the middle of the day a few moments ago but it seems she was wrong.

Suddenly, she saw a small light in the middle of the pond. As she focused her gaze, she managed to make out a small lotus bud being surrounded by the light.

"Beautiful…." was all she could mumble as she stared in a daze.

"Are you willing?" she heard a voice ask.

"What?" she asked as she snapped back from her admiration towards the bud.

"Are you willing?" the voice asked again.

The voice sounded like it came from a woman. It was interrogative, a bit demanding, but sweet. Still, it bothered the girl that whoever this was, they were not showing themselves.

"Willing to what? Who are you?" the girl tried to find whoever the voice was coming from.

"Don't you mean, who are YOU ?" the voice replied.

"But you called me! What do you mean who am I?" the young girl said a bit frustrated.

"Did I call YOU though? If you don't know who you are…then I guess you're still not willing…" the voice replied. 

Though the young girl couldn't see the person, something told her that if she was in front of her, the girl would see her shaking her head in disappointment. 

"Come out! How can you interrogate me when you don't even show yourself?!" the girl demanded.

"You already know who I am. Right now though, you don't know who you are, thus you are less likely to realize who I am…" the voice started to sound as if it was fading away.

"Wait! Who are you?!" the girl yelled at nothing.

"It's time to wake up…" the voice whispered once again.

"Wake up…!"

Agatha slowly opened her eyes. She rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath. As her vision cleared, she no longer saw the prairie nor the pond with the lotus bud. 

"A dream huh?" she thought as she tried to focus herself and fight against the urge to fall asleep once again. 

She looked around her dark room. Her curtains were down so she usually didn't know if the sun had risen when she woke up. Daliyah was normally her sign that the day had begun, This time though, even though Daliyah had not arrived to open the curtains, Agatha heard unfamiliar voices and the sound of a lot of movement coming from outside.

"I guess the sun has risen…"

Agatha scratched her head and stretched.

"I don't want to get out of bed today…"

 She lazily removed the blankets and pushed herself out of bed. She struggled as her uncoordinated body walked towards the curtains. She kept rubbing her eyes and yawn. She felt tired as if she had run like in her dream. It always bothered her how realistic dreams were, to the point of sometimes confusing what her reality was. 

She managed to make out a long piece of cloth and walked towards it. She grabbed it and moved it to the side but was shocked to only see darkness.

"What?"

She moved it side to side but got the same results. She looked at the blank scenery in front of her. 

"What's going on? Am I still dreaming?"

As Agatha started to panic, she heard the door to her room open.

"Oh, my lady, you're up already?" Daliyah asked, surprised to see Agatha active so early in the morning.

Daliyah knew Agatha had a hard time sleeping at night because of her nightmares, so it was always a struggle to get her out of bed during the day. Not only that but she was, understandably, grumpy in the mornings.

"Daliyah…" Agatha called out her name with an expression full of confusion and disorientation.

"What's the matter, my lady?" 

Daliyah walked over as she asked this and placed the candle she was holding on the nightstand.

"What are you doing there? Is something wrong with the tapestry?" Daliyah asked as she approached the window and opened the curtains.

Sunlight brightened the room and revealed Agatha's puzzled expression.

"What…? But…Daliyah…since when is the window there…?" 

Agatha looked back and forth between the tapestry that was hanging on the wall and the fully opened curtains.

Daliyah looked at Agatha for a few moments and after realizing what was happening, she let out a laugh.

"Hahahahaha, my lady…haha, with all due respect, did you confuse the tapestry with the curtains?" Daliyah covered her mouth to try to contain her laughter but knew it was impossible.

Agatha then understood what she had done because she wasn't fully awake yet. She blushed and looked away.

"You have to admit they look kind of similar…" she said as she smiled a bit at her own silly mistake.

"Yes of course, if that is what my lady believes then that is what it shall be."

Daliyah managed to catch her breath after having a good laugh and began to make the bed. Agath observed her for a few moments. This wasn't a dream, it was reality. Daliyah's laugh had confirmed it.

"My dreams aren't usually so delightful…"

She moved toward the window and looked outside. The sky was bright blue, the birds were flying and singing, and the flowers were happily receiving their first bit of sunlight for the day. Everything was the same. Just like always, life around Agatha was moving its normal course. 

"Just like yesterday, the flowers are blooming and will continue to bloom. Even after they die in winter, they manage to come back when spring returns. The flowers are reborn after a cold and dark season. The flowers return…but after today…I…"

Agatha brushed away the thought before it managed to completely take over her mind. This is something she had mastered over the years, to not let "unnecessary" thoughts take over and make her question the fate she was blessed with.

"Come on everyone! Let's get a move on! We don't want to waste time!" the shout of who seemed to be a commander brought Agatha back from her thoughts.

She looked down through the glass of her window, keeping enough distance to keep those outside from seeing her. There were horses, carts for supplies, a carriage that she imagined was for her, and soldiers moving around getting things ready for her departure. She wondered what the hurry was. She was scheduled to leave 3 months from now, but a week ago she was informed she would be leaving as soon as the troops that would escort her arrived. Even though she wanted to ask why she had to leave ahead of time, she knew she would not receive an answer. Other than a respectful smile, people didn't usually give her the answers she was seeking.

"You! Move your tiny excuse of legs and get that carriage ready!" the commander shouted once again.

"So loud…" Agatha murmured as she looked at the commander with a bit of annoyance.

"My lady, we have to…start getting you ready…" 

Daliyah's shook a bit when she said these words with hesitation. Agatha turned to look at the young girl. Their eyes met and Agatha could see Daliyah's fight to keep her tears back. Daliyah forced a smile, but Agatha could see the pain behind it. Agatha smiled at her and reached out to hold her hand. 

"It's okay Daliyah…everything is going to be okay…" she whispered as she used her free hand to caress Daliyah's head as a form of reassurance and comfort.

"Yes, everything will be okay…but are you okay?" Daliyah asked as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Agatha looked at her for a few seconds. The voices of the soldiers were nonexistent for a brief moment. The only thing Agatha could hear was the mysterious voice from her dream.

"Are you willing?"

Agatha closed her eyes for a moment.

"Are you willing?"

She once again did what had learned to do well and shut the voice down.

"Such unnecessary thoughts."

Agatha opened her eyes once again and smiled.

"Everything is going to be okay. Help me get ready."

Daliyah looked down for a moment as her grip on Agatha's hand hardened. She looked back up and opened her mouth to say something but closed it again when she saw Agatha's blank eyes.

"...yes my lady" were the only words that managed to come out of her mouth.