The Past Of The Past

Once,there was a girl named "Ay".She was born without love from people.They were bitter towards her without no reasons.As a word,she is unlucky.This thing is associated with good deeds from the previous

life.Whatever, she survived trying to live the best.She gave loves, kindness to the whole empire.

If you believe that there is a previous life.You will probaly believe this,"The debts of bad things in the previous life are paid in the present human life".Same as all the evil things

the person had done was now being punished. Ay came from the dark. That's why

terrible things were done to her.She was innocent when she was a child.As she grew up, the reality of her existence materialized.

She became dissatisfied and defied the world.

All the vision was covered by darkness.Ay didn't listen to anyone's words.She kept making mistakes and she couldn't make it stop.She became like a moster.She did the opposite side of good things.Bad darkness reigned.There was no light exist.As an example,she was a young woman,and her hair was cut like a shrew.Who did it??She did it,she cut herself like that.It was as if someone was pushing her to do ito.Her beauty was almost gone.However, in her eyes, she only sees her the most beautiful. In fact, these things may be Ay's true existence.Her intentions may be true, but who wants to accept such a terrible existence?

Not long Ay fell into a dark pit so deep that there was no way to climb back up.She began to repent.Then she realized that she was

wrong.No one came to save her. There were no more hands to hold on to.Because

everyone was disappointed in her.There was no childhood best friend in that rough time Her best friend silenced a changing person.He was tired of his stubborn friend Ay.Her bestfriend just disappeared didn't even said a word to Ay.Beside, the lover that Ay loved like the ocean is gone.Her

boyfriend,Jack said his happiness depends on her change.Jack told her so much to change but she never listened.She was blinded, she pushed Jack away.So either Jack had to breakup.

The last thing left,when she came back tired,

a warm and comfy zone home was there as always.But in the present,there is no HOME anymore.Fate is not on Ay's side,there was a downturn in the economy at her family.Bad things kept happened at home,her parents told her that the whole family had bad luck because of her, who was covered in darkness.She was a 17 years old disaster in the whole house.Ay's parents didn't like what she was doing.Let alone embrace her, they only spoke words that would hurt Ay.She cried but nothing was fixed.Ay dropped out of school,she was not allowed to leave the house she was kept like a prisoner.And her friends who were still going to school ignored her.They ghosted, put her away.Ay's life was getting worse than a nightmare.There is nothing left.No one will stand by her side.It's all gone.She remained in the dark deep hole.Her friends didn't exist from the

beginning.But Ay's sister,who was the only close friend,she appeared and gave her hand to Ay.She thought her family?They must be the same.She afraid to get hurt and she rejected.

With a capricorn sign,Ay is too stubborn even she fell into the deep hole.She wondered, where is everything she did good?? Where is the benefit of everything she recited God?Believing disappeared.She was no longer happy at her favourite place "HOME".

It was impossible to go out.Her family is under a great deal of dignity and pressure.

She was locked in.They saw him crying but no one cares.She kept crying in her messy dry room.She had only silence and darkness as friends.Ay was upset about everything.She wondered "Why should she continue to survive?"She suffered a tremendous trauma.

She began to think to give up her life.She had seen her form with the noose around her neck a hundred times, and she had killed herself just as an image in her mind.She is brave but she is afraid of DEATH indeed.Ay realized what she did wrong but she coudn't fix.Ay was lost.Every day became meaningless.She no longer believed in God like before,still irrational.

The one thing Ay didn't know is God never rejected her.God knows everything.

God gave her the first and last

chance.Suddenly a new person came into Ay's life again.She knew that this person would just come and go again, just like the people before him.She had trust issues.Ay had prepared her mind in advance that it would be the same.But that new person Xavier loved her,adored her and stood behind her when she was alone with no one.Ay's mind got calm and not distracted by others.Like depression and sucidal things didn't come.Because Xavier was on her sidelines every second, every minute and every hour.Then her views and thoughts began to change.Although she had prepared her mind, she is a human being.

She started to fell in love with Xavier even though he was a liar.They got to know each other better and got closer.Heart to heart.They supported each other and day after day.

They passed happily until they forget what the sadness is.She ate good,slept good.That girl who was broken down became full of strength again.Pulling Xavier's hand,she hugged the pit wall and she slowly climbed

up.She believed that Xavier was the only person who was there for her when her life was failing .Even though everyone rejected her,Xavier was the only one who said, "You're right, you're not wrong, I'm on your side.Trust me" The one who accepted all of her brokenness and called it beautiful.She thought Xavier would never leave her.

It took about 3 months.Ay had never been so happy in her life so long,that 3 months of hours,minutes and every single seconds are heaven sake.She believed more and more in love.Ay started to get addicted to Xavier.It was not like the person she loved in the past,not like Jack.This time Ay felt like true love.She accepted that Xavier had taught a tough person like her about LOVE.

Unfortunately, the reward given by God has expired.The time has come for Xavier to go back to his own place.He made sure to apologize to Ay and he left.Xavier's duty has ended.Ay has escaped from the dark pit.Her wound has healed to the extent only her scars remained.Now her weak mind is full of strength.She finally comes out of the hole and going back to her normal life.It's

back.Everything is back on track.

One thing the readers don't know is Ay and Xavier were not being together.They were lovers who are many miles and kilometers apart,they can't be together.It was insanely impossible but they continued their journey only with those words,"We can do it",the belief.But this was the end.Xavier told Ay to carry on their both own way.Not to continue the impossible journey.She was still in pain like a stone, but she didn't say a word.She suffered in SILENCE.Ay was no longer attached to anything. It was obvious that Ay was pretending and Xavier did know.But he had to act like he doesn't know.Hard to believe, but this thing If someone asks the question whether it is love or responsibility, it will be difficult to answer.Ay felt so bad that this new person had left again.She thought why she was always a stupid person.This was why she has trust issues.At last,she ended up her feelings with this mind.She had already prepared her mind, from the day she met Xavier, if this new person left, she wouldn't cry.It was already enough for her.She knew she shouldn't be greedyanymore.She tried to loosened,and loosened.

A lot of time had passed.If you ask her if she can forget now,Ay still can't forget the truelove.Although it wasn't her first love,it was true love that only lasted for 3 months.

Others would laugh if they heard it, but she believed that some people have experienced this kind of love.She would never forget,would always be remembered it as her first love.Ay was old enough to know that she loved Xavier not as a fun but as a serious first love.

Now, both of them are going their own way, living their own lives, and they are good without each other. Everything has ended.The good law,the good benefits Ay has got is too much.Even though she was still afraid of luck, she has learned to accept.She got the right angle.She truly believed in God again.A new chapter, a new prayer in her life has come.She is now doing good to fulfill the need to be good in the future life.

Literally, she was able to overcome this terrible trauma only if she was strong.In her past she was totally abandoned from her family, her childhood best friend,her loved ones,her surrounding,EVERYTHING.

Finally she escaped....NO!!

SHE WAS SAVED...