Chapter 22 - Emotional Damage Control

Most of Elua's focus shifted, layering barriers over her hands so that she wouldn't *destroy* anything, but she also wasn't entirely caught off guard when she was embraced. Her fiance had sat down on the floor right behind her. She also reached her long arms out and put a set of palms to cover over the smaller hands, which the incensed spiritualist kept 'safely' on her knees.

'If there is one good thing about the triggered types, it is that they innately safeguard against self harm. Else I might not have a leg to stand on in front of her.'

She found her anger 'reignited' - over how she was *not* considered funny back in her last life!

Qatrand said nothing and asked nothing. Being calm was a normal enough state in her life - outside of the times her fiance provoked reactions - so she just let herself stay centered in it until it hopefully 'infected' Elua. She could think more deeply about everything later.

The small girl sitting so tense in between her legs limply leaned back after a few minutes, *tired* of being 'upset'. She also felt that sort of thing could be done *later*. It was only a matter of time until they had to part for the evening. Then after that… there wasn't a plan yet when they could meet next.

"I've missed you a lot. I'm trying to do too much because of it - because I know you'll be busy again. It's not making me look even half as good as I wanted it to."

While nearly *everything* seemed like a good idea in the moment of emotion 'drunk' passion, it was often only in hindsight that you can realize that you were rushing. Regret is something that you couldn't feel 'beforehand'.

"I think… you just showed me that you can look exactly as good as you want to?"

It sounded like an attempt at a joke from the older girl, but the truth was a little different. Even if the teenager might not have been ready to admit it. The Goltbred chuckled weakly.

'I can polish that out a little…'

"Thank you for picking one, by the way."

The dominant hand of the swordswoman *twitched*.

"I'm pretty sure I didn't. You are welcome to become whoever you want to be. I was trying to find a way to tell you that. Is that not essentially what you told me? I am not going to decide-"

"Oh, shush~"

The brunette interrupted the 'over-protestor'.

"Of the eight available, do you think I picked that *exact* illusion purely at random? I'm not perfect. Everything I do might not work out as 'intended'. I can't claim otherwise. The end of that prank clearly did not go as planned. But! My capacity to sense spirit is one thing I am *exceptionally* proud of."

Elua pushed her fingertips through the gaps in Qatrand's fingers and happily shook their entwined hands. Partly because she just wanted to and partly for the 'example' in her upcoming explanation.

"You do this… thing, unconsciously. Ever since you became a spiritual Enchanter. I'm not sure if it happens with anyone else you encounter, or at any other times with maybe objects. Since I haven't been around to watch you at those times."

The brunette whispered the last part in a dull voice, trying to mimic her 'real' one and pausing the 'playful' motion with their hands. She thought she wouldn't stop with complaints like that until they were married! It… was a bit of wishful thinking.

She would *always* maintain a stable annoyance at being apart from a partner. Especially if the decision wasn't her own.

"Can you feel it if you focus? How you have it curling those little strands around me?"

The Yecine youth closed her eyes, as most individuals unused to using the sense tended to do. It wasn't a mistake exactly, but it also wasn't like muting one physical sense made the spiritual one stronger. The types of energy had some metaphysical overlap, but weren't *that* entwined.

However, for some people doing such a thing did work as a 'trick' to increase their focus. That was what led too many to relying on such actions as a crutch. Elua made a note to train that behavior out.

"I… can tell that there is some 'moving' but not what it is doing. Should I try and stop it?"

"Hmm… practicing that is probably a good idea but… not right now. What we're doing with your hand here is conceptually what it feels like your spiritual energy is trying with mine. It's extremely nice and reassuring. Like every part of you is trying to protect and care for me."

She wondered if the girl knew *how* to manipulate her Element if it wouldn't also be doing something! Elua 'squealed' in her mind and and swatted away thoughts of their surroundings being *pressed* by higher gravity. That was more… a 'her' thing. Qatrand would probably try and make the both of them *lighter* to unload the burden of weight!

"O-oh. So… about the illusions? You said I 'picked' one."

The Goltbred shifted to a 'smug' face. The brunette felt that, if that was an attempt at trying to move along to something less embarrassing, it was a mistake.

"Out of all of them - and almost ignoring me, I might add - your *interested* little tendrils drifted towards the representation that was short bodied, shoulder length haired, and held the third largest bust. Oh, and second widest hips, though the variation on *that* might not have been large enough between all of them to bother ranking."

She felt the large fingers around hers tighten a little more at each slightly 'emphasized' quality, causing her to giggle after she finished. Almost all the tension from her programmed illusion 'going rogue' was now locked away.

"If it makes you feel better, I have no complaints~ I really would have been happy becoming any of them. I'm not lying when I tell you this. There *are* some things I am very particular about - and potentially far more that I am hardly concerned with."

The Goltbred slid away the single untangled hand and held it with a palm up. She produced a small replica illusion of the 'adult figure' she was talking about. When she was sure her fiance was looking at it, she made it blow a kiss and wave before turning around and linking arms with a shadowy silhouette that was meant to be a more 'indistinct' example of Qatrand.

Full representations were *never* going to happen again!

"I'm honestly so happy to have a goal set now that I can work at. One which will also help make the future more enjoyable. I know it's not the kind of goal others might make. Does it bother you that I am like that?"

"…I don't think so."

The fact that it was answered pretty quickly and without any traces of falsehood brought out a half-lidded smile worn by the young miss. There had been a *small* concern of that - of her viewpoint being denied - considering the 'immaturity' of the swordswoman. Elua felt she shouldn't have 'doubted' their character.

"Thank you. Likewise, it doesn't bother me that you don't know what to do with yourself, Qat. You… we're both still very young. Can you even imagine the number of children who wanted - or expected - to live their life in one kind of way only to travel on a very different path?"

She had seen and heard many tales like that. It was a lot less common for a kid to actually achieve the dreams they had from the start without compromise. Change, growth, and loss were all *standard* parts of the cosmos.

"What do you mean?"

"For instance, I think my father would have become some kind of local underling to forces on the other side of the continent. That is if he didn't decide to run away at your age and travel until he ended up here. Now, he's a regional hero of sorts."

It was a hint and an 'option'. Elua didn't honestly think it was something the false 'son' would do yet, if ever. But just mentioning it could *shift* things to an easier 'acceptance'… if the mint eyed girl needed to take drastic measures someday. The thought of 'traveling together' alone made her smile. They would have to find somewhere that wasn't a backwater!

"Would you have run away like he did?"

The reborn cultivator laughed at her Qat's question. Not a giggle or a chuckle, but more of an extended 'scoff'!

"No. I don't think I would have. Even without knowing his whole situation. It could have been interesting there."

Elua changed her tone.

"However, if I knew of you waiting all the way over here for me to find you… then things would be different. Perhaps that's how the cosmos works."

She knew it wasn't the case, exactly. But powerful Divinities did enact weird things… like the Birth Limit. Or the Voidling Descent that tests and culls in predictable waves. It would not entirely be 'out of the question' that what she planned to say next could be the prerogative of one of those great powers.

"It pulls people closer to places they want to go. Ondua er Goltbred fled and met Yatrel, to have me as a child someday and meet you. Doesn't that sound very romantic?"

"Er… well whether or not your parents were pulled together… isn't it exactly the case that they gave birth to you to meet me?"

Elua opened her mouth and closed it. She was technically 'correct', the best kind of it!

"You know what, you're exactly right. I'm literally *made* for you in a manner of speaking. Birthed when I was, neither to be too far apart in age to the Yecine 'heir' or too young to potentially participate in the next war."

She leaned back and poked her husband-wife on the tip of the nose.

"Though you know, if I hadn't found you so wonderful I would have done everything in my power to break the engagement, Qat. Lucky for you that you were also 'made' quite well for me… and seem to be getting better and better. I'll have to try hard to keep up."

It was her fiance's turn to respond with a 'dull' tone. To show just how dubious that last line made her feel.

"After what you did a while ago, you have to be kidding. Aren't you easily a Primalist as well as a double-Enchanter? You're already a lot better than me."

Qatrand er Yecine really didn't want to learn that everything that was done was something any 'Illusion' Astralism could do as even a 'peak' spiritual Enchanter, so she had rejected that logic and upgraded the personal perception of how incredible El was.

"Ah, so you only finally realized that? Well, it took you long enough, but I guess it was my fault for never showing you anything. Ah, uh… to be fair you did say I could keep my secrets!"

One of them felt 'cornered' inside at the thought of revealing exactly how *young* she had become a spiritual Primalist… while the other one inwardly agreed that it *was* something she had said. If she wanted to keep quiet that was fine with the older girl. Yet it didn't stop Qat from reaching her fingers and pinching the puffed up cheek.

'Whether she's *acting* cute or 'being' that way… well, it's still cuter than someone stronger than me should be behaving!'