Inner Turmoil

Flying around Katherine while scanning the environment for enemies, I periodically looked back over to the 'woman' openly bearing her form for all to see.

There shouldn't have been anything sensual about it. I was an Eagle Monster and she was a human.

Up until now, I'd just assumed it wouldn't have been possible for me to find humans sexually attractive. But, that was just a subconscious assumption as I'd literally not thought about nonsense like "romantic affairs" since I woke up weeks ago at the Littleroot Forest.

Why would I, in the first place?

So far, the only female humans I'd seen were Katherine and her "knight" friend. All the other females that had crossed paths with me were other monsters that I'd either fled from or killed and eaten. None of them, not even some of the Avian-type Monsters, had caused me to ever even consider putting forth any sexual advances.

Then I ran my mouth to Katherine, making a sideways comment on how annoying it was to clean myself with my Personal Water Spell — It totally was when I couldn't see where the water would fall from without a mirror — and her retort made me realize exactly what she thought of our relationship.

She was apparently very trusting of me, but she obviously didn't see me as a 'male.' I could completely understand her point of view. I doubt I would find actual Monsters sexually attractive if I were still human.

However, in understanding what she thought of me, I naturally followed that train of thought to its logical conclusion and asked myself what I thought of her.

'This is stupid to even consider. Biologically speaking, as a bird Monster, I probably shouldn't even be capable of finding her attractive,' were my immediate thoughts when I had accepted the future promise of using my magic to grant her showers or baths once we left the lake.

At that time, all I wanted to do was end the conversation and hold off on the uncomfortable feeling thinking about it gave me. But then, Katherine insisted on rooting the topic in my head by immediately wishing to take a bath at that lake she had just been antagonizing me over, right then and there.

When I watched her start throwing off parts of her stereotypical mage uniform as she ran to the lake, her childishness annoyed me. 'Is this really the woman who instantly killed a "fluffle" of nearly a dozen Standard C Rank Flickren Rabbits with just the wave of her hands yesterday?'

It really irked me when not seconds later, my ridiculous eyesight started relaying images of her rapidly disrobing form directly into my skull. The juxtaposition between her behavior and what I was now starting to acknowledge as a very appealing body really started casting doubts in my mind.

Had her clothes always been that conservative? I mean, it makes sense that she'd be very fit with all the ridiculous moves I'd seen her dish out in close combat.

One of her best tactics, one most would think unconventional for a Mage, revolved around covering herself in bulky Earthen Armor and personally brutalizing our enemies. Only now did I understand that without her carefully built body, she likely wouldn't have been as flexible as she had proven herself to be while also assuming the role of a juggernaut.

And really? There's no way that up until now, I'd been blind to how well endowed she was with eyes like mine.

Her clothes had to have some bullshit illusions messing with how stacked she appeared. I mean, it wasn't just that a single part of her looked off now that I could see her completely naked. Literally, everything seemed "better" from what I'd thought she would have looked like just moments prior; when I started giving the topic thoughts, to begin with.

Or… Could this have come from the fact that I'd just never paid much of 'that' kind of attention to her?

"Hey!" She called out to me… and asked me to go over to her.

The request hit me like a Thunderpunch; I would know, given I'd deliberately let one of the bears back at Levins Fall hit me directly just to see the limits of my Understanding of Lightning.

'What the fuck could she possibly want?!' It was never a good thing to be caught completely off guard like that. That must have been where my random bout of frustration — or was it exasperation? — came from.

In any case, I flew over to her, and wouldn't you know it, I was reminded once more of my inhuman physique.

Obviously, the lake was cold. We were hundreds of meters above sea level, in an area that was close to the southern edge of the southern continent. From the day and night cycles, I could tell that this planet was similar enough to earth to know that even if it were summer, it would still be terribly cold where we were.

The only ostensible reason for why I wouldn't feel cold or why the fauna was as vibrant as it was, was the same as everything else: Magic, probably.

Katherine wanted me to heat up the water around her; she even asked me nicely.

I narrowed my eyes on her and she just smiled back. In this position, where she was as vulnerable as she possibly could have been before me I realized something.

'This could all be psychological baggage that's been carried over from my first life as a human.' And just like that, all the stupid thoughts in my head were answered. I mean, they weren't explicitly. But, it became remarkably less thought-provoking to me that I had an attractive young woman naked right in front of me.

I had the perspective of a human first and foremost. It must have been messing with me more than I realized as just in understanding that I could see my behavior and thoughts for what they were.

So far, I hadn't really had a "reaction" to her; physical or emotional. I doubt it was a physiological problem; as an Arcane Eagle, I had graduated from being classified as a baby bird. So, to find myself hovering just a couple meters away from Katherine with nothing… No embarrassment, nor shame, nor desire, nor lust. I just had a bunch of troublesome thoughts that I could dispel with reason.

It was comforting to know that I was likely resistant towards female charms, but to find out this way had been an aggravating experience for me. So, I made the mature choice of punishing Katherine for the hard time she had unknowingly given me.

It hadn't been fun when she retaliated, but it was funny seeing her get launched when it happened.

...

Danger?

I was distracted from my thoughts when I spotted a tightly reined-in Magic source. Zooming into it with my telescopic view, I grew equal parts confused and impressed after I casted an Appraisal.

[Appraise Successful

Name: Unknown Elven Entity

Estimated Rank: C?/B?

Description: Looks to be an aberrant female elf with Rouge and or Illusion Magic Skills.]

Even with my Evil Eyes, she was hard to spot as she was crawling prone on the ground and looked to be approaching Katherine's bathing spot. Suddenly she stopped and made to rapidly withdraw the bow on her back.

Is she?

She is…

She went to nock an arrow while keeping the totality of her focus on Katherine when I decided to preemptively strike her down with extreme prejudice. It must have been yet another aspect of my human perspective that I even gave the damn elf considerations beyond immediately killing her like I would any other unaware Monster.

Wait!

I traced the elf's line of sight and hesitated as I realized she wasn't looking directly at Katherine. Only with eyes like mine would I have been able to see the dark splotch that was rapidly approaching Katherine from underwater as it was both extremely fast and it melded into the waves of the lake with near-perfect camouflage.

"Enemy, nine o'clock!" I shouted through an instantly cast Tier 1 Transmission Spell.

Immediately, two things happened. The elf took her shot and Katherine immediately made to cover herself in Earthen Armor.

Unfortunately, the Monster that tried to attack Katherine was probably tipped off by my shouting which caused the elf's shot to merely graze it as the arrow had sailed right over where Katherine had been.

No matter. Now that Katherine was aware of the enemy—

Woosh!

Holy shit! She just struck the Monster out of the water with a well-timed Earth Wall Spell and, as it was out in the air before it could use a Spell or Skill of its own, the elf managed to land a hit of her own with another arrow. Only, instead of the arrow behaving normally, you know, by skewering the Marlin-like Fish Monster, it fucking punched a massive hole through the fish's center mass; its internal organs completely obliterated.

As impressed as I was, not just at the elf's power, but also Katherine's evidently improved reaction time, I knew we might not be out of a fight yet… But then, the elf made to holster her bow on her back and Katherine started grumbling about her bath being cut short as she walked out of the lake still in her Earthen Armor. She went to take her discarded pieces of clothes with her back turned to the elf as if she knew she wouldn't be backstabbed.

"Uh… Thanks for the assist?" I said, not knowing what to say when I myself didn't contribute anything meaningful to the fight.

"What are you doing here?" She didn't entertain any ideas of small talk; her face the epitome of someone who only meant business. "This is elven territory," she bluntly stated.

"We were just taking a short break while on a trip to the northwest," Katherine said as she dusted her clothes as best as she could. "You should know we'll be staying near the stretch of land that borders between the mountains and the lake for what could be weeks or months. You can watch us if you want… But, we won't make any advances towards the center of the lake."

"You better not," the elf said as she started walking away from us. "The elders wouldn't take kindly to a human snooping around, even if you are a relatively weak one."

"The fuck was her problem?" I asked Katherine when the elf finally disappeared behind some trees.

"Humans don't exactly have the best relationships with other humanoid species," Katherine sighed. "We may look somewhat similar, but there have been countless wars waged in the past between us all. Currently, we're on neutral terms with the Elves and Dwarves but the others… Not so much."

"Wait, if you guys are on neutral terms, then why were you so nervous with us coming through here? I came prepared thinking they would immediately target us as enemies."

"Neutral doesn't mean they have to support us," Katherine frowned. "She didn't have to help us at all back there. In fact, if she wanted to, she could have attacked us and so long as I never made it back home, there'd be no evidence of any wrongdoing."

That was true enough, I nodded. I mean, it's not like anyone would know that Katherine and I have taken the path we have.

No.

That's not right…

My confusion must have been evident as Katherine asked me "What's wrong? You're starting to worry me."

Confusion turned to horror, which then resurfaced as malice as I eventually asked, "How come they haven't contacted you yet? Your uncle contacted your dad and he's a fucking Guild Leader, right? I know for a fact that a long-distance communication spell can reach others over insane distances."

"So, why the fuck," I nearly spat, "has no one tried to contact you?! A Guild Leader should have the resources or connections to get someone with the Skill if he himself doesn't have it, right?! Or am I missing something? Cause if not, I'm not sure I'll be able to stop myself from skinning your dad if he's this much of a deadbeat!"

I could actually see the moment my words registered to Katherine as she suddenly went slack. Her eyes losing a bit of their light, she mumbled something I could hardly understand which ended up in a whisper, "...has it."

"What?" I managed to ask while keeping my tone from rising. After spending weeks with Katherine, I was now emotionally invested in her well-being.

How could I not be, after she'd taken so many hits for me that I had long since lost count? Before our trip had begun, I'd only cared enough about her to repay a debt. But now we had genuinely bonded in only a way two people could after going through hell together. For all intents and purposes, I wouldn't hesitate to willingly take a hit for her, knowing that immediately afterward, she wouldn't let the sacrifice go to waste; she'd done so dozens of times by now.

"As the Seamstreak Guild's leader..." Her heartbreak was clearly visible, "His Communication Magic is second only to his main focus as a Light Swordsman; it should be more than good enough to reach me himself. As his only daughter, he should be able to contact me… whenever he wants… At any time after he finished his reports and spread news that the next Great War was coming..."

"Is that so?" I nearly growled. "Well, I don't give a fuck who he is. Even if he were an S Rank demigod, I'll defy him to give me a worthwhile reason for abandoning you like this when we finally make our way to ask him why he didn't contact you directly. To me," I paused, "he sounded like he cared about you when he talked to your uncle..." I felt an eye twitch as the tone and mannerisms I remembered from the man's conversation replayed in my head.

Now that I had context for what the second part of their conversation entailed, it was obvious that Katherine's father had been concerned about her safety in making her way back home without Tebolt's support. Just what the hell could have possibly caused him to suddenly forget about her plight?

Katherine and I could be forgiven for either forgetting or not knowing of the man's Communication Magic; our survival was more important. But the man himself must have realized within hours of not being contacted by Tebolt that the mission had gone awry.

Worse yet, it was entirely possible that before dying Tebolt had contacted Katherine's father — like he did to warn Katherine herself to flee from the base of the mountain that held the Devil Orc Fortress — to let him know of their fates.

At that point, were I in his position, I would leverage all my resources to send a team or, hell, teams of B Rank parties to search for my Katherine. It would have been a hard call, but without my help, Katherine might have been able to survive where we had been camping out by Levins Fall Valley for the days or weeks needed for a search party to find her.

Really, whatever the man's reason was… It better have been a damn good one.

As I was right now, I wanted nothing more than to rip his damn throat out seeing as he was so fond of silence.