The Lord who use immortals as food

August 3rd.

The autumnal rains in the season of white dew were good weather for the small county of Fenghuai nestled up against the deep mountains. By then, the summer heat had passed, crops were ripe, and the deer and rabbits from the woods were plump. Fish awaited in the streams to be netted, making it a time of leisure before harvest began.

Pei Ye looked rather good these past two days. At the moment, he was carrying a fishing rod and the basket, his straw sandals "slapping-slapping" against the stones of the bridge on the edge of the small town. As he descended the last step, a shaky, round, and wrinkled old face came bobbing over, "Young Pei, catching anything good?"

Pei Ye, without pausing, glanced sideways at him, "Hmm."

The old man was Crazy Old Xiang from next door. This time Pei Ye couldn't help but look at him a moment longer, for on his dirty forehead was crudely drawn a weird symbol using blue-green paint. Obviously, it was his own trembly hands' handiwork, looking at once strange and fascinating.

Old Xiang had clearly been pleased that the teenager noticed his handiwork and had moved closer to Pei Ye, swaying his head back and forth to showcase it, chuckling, "Heh heh… Heh heh…"

Pei Ye couldn't help but chuckle, withdrawing his gaze as he indulged the old man, "What do you want?"

Old Xiang suddenly grew animated, straightening his crooked back, about to speak before covering his mouth. He looked around cautiously before moving next to Pei Ye's ear, whispering: "To become immortal."

"..."

"To become immortal! To become immortal!" Light shone in Old Xiang's eyes, exuding an eagerness to share. "I have a way to become immortal, Young Pei, give me a hand; both of us can become immortals, no pain, no suffering..."

"..." Pei Ye couldn't be bothered to deal with his newfound insanity, "You go on with your immortality."

Old Xiang, mumbling and mumbling, has always been like this.

He'd been living alone for many years, without any children. His meals, clothes, shelter, transportation, everything was taken care of by himself; his sanity slightly off-kilter. In the past, he could still be seen running about and playing with the neighbor girl; now that the girl had grown up and gotten married, she didn't care to hang out with him. The man had begun in earnest, fiddling the day away with various religious artifacts and such.

Old Xiang wasn't a devout believer, nor did he rely on an abundance of incense offerings. Instead, he spread his interests wide. One day he paid homage to Buddha, the next respect to Taoism. The God of the Mountain, the River God, the Dragon King, Hell's King and the City God all have received his offerings. The strange sects and all manner of gods he'd heard of from various places all found a place at his home.

Furthermore, Old Xiang didn't understand religious practices. The decisions were made entirely by him. When others would finish their plowing insisting he quickly get to his, or risk missing the planting season, he would lie in bed saying there was no need for him to plow his fields. When asked why, he'd say he had converted to Buddhism that year, and Buddha would take care of the work for him.

The joke ultimately spread throughout the eastern side of town, so Pei Ye's attitude towards Old Xiang was a given.

Old Xiang clearly noticed Pei Ye's disinterest and urgently explained, "No, not at all! This time it's for real! Trust me! I was sleeping in the old temple on the east end of town yesterday when I heard it with my own ears that Big Ears, the beggar under the willow tree, had been enlightened by an immortal and became an immortal himself. ..."

"Oh."

"How can you not believe it? We both have illnesses. If we both become immortals, wouldn't we be cured!?"

"I am not sick."

"Ai! You're hiding your illness and avoiding your doctors. It's not an illness; it's a wound that can't be cured."

"Regardless of what it is! How can an immortal not heal it? The immortal might descend tonight, we must go now or we might miss it!" Old Xiang earnestly tried to persuade him. "I saw it for real, Big Ears has become an immortal, he's at least ten feet tall, clad in armor and full of majesty!"

"Then shouldn't he have ascended to the heavens after becoming an immortal?" For the time being, they were headed in the same direction, so Pei Ye played along.

"Exactly! He ascended!"

"..." This answer was somewhat unexpected. Pei Ye asked, "Isn't he begging under the big willow tree now?"

"No, he's not! Everyone else couldn't find him — only I know, it's because...." Old Xiang hesitated, looked furtively around and then, clenching his teeth, whispered even quieter, "Young Pei, I'll tell you in secret, he drank the immortal water and became immortal."

"Then you should go drink that."

"It's gone!" Old Xiang slapped his thigh, "There was only a little bit left in the cup. I was scared of the pain, so...so I gave the immortal water to the cat, and the cat became an immortal! It could survive fire and resistant to being cut by a knife. You, Young Pei, you're strong, but you're not immune to knives, right? Let me give it a shot..."

Old Xiang reached for the dagger at Pei Ye's waist, but was nonchalantly pushed aside by him, "I've heard this before, Aunt Zhang mentioned seeing you taking away a dead cat, isn't that the one that supposedly became an immortal?"

Old Xiang hesitated for a moment and quickly retorted, "No, no! The cat died because it didn't draw this!"

Old Xiang extended a finger from each hand, pointing at the lopsided blue-green symbol on his own forehead, "Look! Can you see it? I've had an enlightenment! If you want to ascend to immortality, you must first draw this. Big Ears had this on his forehead. You will become immortal by drinking the immortal water once you have this. Come on, Young Pei, draw it quickly. Let us find the immortal water and become immortals together. Your illness will then have a cure."

Pei Ye remained silent. By now, they had crossed the alley leading to his house. He knew Old Xiang wouldn't follow much further.

To deal with Old Xiang, Pei Ye had his own methods - the more he entertained the old man, the more excited Old Xiang got.

Big catfish were river spirit, the lonely woman is the Queen Mother, a rock picked up from the riverbank was the sky-filling stone and now came the Immortal Water. However, Old Xiang wasn't akin to intentional deception – indeed, he genuinely couldn't distinguish between his delusional fantasies and reality.

Old Xiang went on and on as he followed Pei Ye. The latter pretended to not even know the man, until Old Xiang finally stomped his foot in frustration. "You don't believe me! Then I'll go look for it on my own! I will come and scorn you when I become an immortal tonight!"