day 4 chapter 5

Day 4

"Aaah, I slept pretty well... not. Again. I really want a better futon..."

"Good morning. You really slept for the whole day... Don't you get tired

of doing that?"

"Not at all."

"So, now that you're awake, explain what's going on... but first, look at

the DP. What's going on?"

I opened the menu to check our DP and saw that we now had 867 DP.

"Huh? Oh wow, it shot way up. Not quite as much as I was hoping for,

but this will do."

"Are you saying you knew this would happen?"

"Huh? Uhh, basically, but let me ask you this first. Did something

happen?"

"...Some adventurers attacked."

According to Rokuko, a bandit standing guard noticed that adventurers

were on their way to the cave, so all the bandits hid in the main room out of

sight from the entrance corridor before launching a surprise attack. They then

defeated the four adventurers without a single scratch on any of them.

"So, after that, the bandits looted the adventurers' corpses and offered up

their corpses to me. They even went out of their way to push them against the

Dungeon Core. I could do that on my own if they just left the corpses lying

around in the dungeon, though. They figured that out after I went out of my

way to absorb the corpses they weren't pushing against me, I think."

"They killed them inside of the dungeon, huh? I guess those bandits are

smarter than you, Rokuko."

"What do you mean by that?!" I mean what I said.

After hearing that, Rokuko's smile became a peeved frown, cheeks

puffing out. It looked less like she was angry and more like she was pouting.

"But how did you know that the adventurers were coming?"

"Seriously...? Didn't you say yourself that adventurers come here once or

twice a month?"

"Aaah... Now that you mention it, I did say that."

This dungeon was probably being used as a training grounds for newbies

where they could safely mop up weak goblins and get battle experience. The

fact that nobody had destroyed the Core yet strongly implied that it was being

protected by some sort of rule. The Guild was basically saying "go get a look

at a real Dungeon Core," and that was that.

But think about it. Could rookie adventurers challenging a dungeon like

this [Ordinary Cave] beat eight bandits? The answer was as you heard. No

way would the bandits lose against rookies who had come here expecting five

or six goblins. They couldn't lose, so they attacked them. They stole from

them. They killed them. Naturally. They are bandits, after all.

"So, what does all this have to do with the helmet and letter you sent them

yesterday?"

"Bandits are greedy. If we act friendly and give them expensive-looking

gifts, they'll be nice and cooperative with us. Basically, the bandits are going

to stay in this cave now that they know they'll be rewarded for doing so...

which in turn will net us DP as they kill adventurers."

Unless they had some major fetishes, they wouldn't bring corpses into the

cave where they slept. But by showing them that we could make corpses

disappear... they'd realize that the best way to get rid of evidence was to offer

the corpses up to us, rather than leaving them around where somebody might

find them. And they'd get treasure for it too. Why wouldn't they bring

corpses to us?

Plus, under normal circumstances, the bandits would abandon this

[Ordinary Cave] if the adventurers ever figured out that they were held up

here. It just wouldn't be safe. Put all that together and the bandits would feel

compelled to slaughter all adventurers for three reasons: To stay in the cave,

for treasure, and just because it was their job anyway. The fact they chose to

ambush the adventurers inside of the cave was just a nice bonus. Though, in

the long-term, the best thing really would be to just run away without

fighting... but they didn't seem to realize that.

I'm glad they're a bunch of idiots.

"...But Keima, wouldn't you prefer it if the bandits left?"

"No, I wouldn't. I can't kill them all if they run away, right? There's a

bunch of DP right there waiting for us, I don't want to waste it. I'm gonna

squeeze every last bit of value from them that I can."

"...Wow. You called them DP even though you're a human too. Keima,

I'm starting to respect you a little bit. You monster."

"Thanks. Now, I'm gonna go back to sleep. Night night."

"You're going back to sleep even though you just woke up...?" What an

idiot. You can obviously only go back to sleep right after waking up. It's a

precious opportunity.

However. Hooowever.

I don't feel bad at all that adventurers died because of my plan. Though,

to be fair, the bandits killed them while I was sleeping, and I didn't even see

their corpses. I wonder if I'll have to start killing people myself at some

point. How will I feel then? ...Eh, whatever. Like it or not, I'm a Dungeon

Master now. That's who I am and there's no going back.

I went back to sleep and had a peaceful rest without having a single

nightmare.

Our DP went up a little. The bandits might have gotten stronger from

killing the adventurers, which in turn might have increased how much DP we

got from them hanging around.

"Alright, we're gonna add a room. We have enough ink to write another

letter on a treasure chest, right?"

"Eh? Oh, right. We do. But are you really going to waste DP on a room?

We have so much..." Rokuko said that while flipping through the DP Catalog

and looking at all the monsters we could summon for 800 DP.

Ha ha ha! Will this blonde loli never learn?

"Alright, here I go... Huh, it says that we can place items wherever we

want, but since intruders are on this floor, we can't build any new rooms.

Any monsters we summon will have to come out of the Dungeon Core, too.

Oh well. We'll just have to get the bandits outside. Write down what I say

again. ...It shouldn't be a problem if we just tell them the truth this time."

"Okaaay, I'll write whatever you want. I just need to write it on the

bottom of the chest again, right?" After I used DP to summon another chest,

Rokuko scrawled another letter on the bottom of it.

# Bandit's Perspective

"Boooss! Another chest appeared!"

"Oooh! Outta the way, I've been waitin' for this!" The boss of the bandits

opened the chest that had basically grown out of the floor in front of him.

Inside was... something that made him tilt his head in confusion.

"...A pillow? It looks pretty high quality, but... it's not a magic tool or

anything."

The bandit boss wondered why five goblins got him a nice steel helmet,

but four adventurers only got him a silly pillow. Did quantity matter over

quality? Either way, his train of thought derailed after he noticed the letter on

the bottom of the chest.

"You really saved me there! You're really strong! Thanks for the corpses!

You killed them inside of the dungeon, so I can give you your present faster.

I'll make some extra rooms for you. It'll be dangerous for you if you stay

inside, so go outside with everyone. Get really far away, okay?"

Everything made more sense. The boss had been thinking to himself that

the cave was a bit cramped for eight whole people. And so, he took everyone

and went outside. As soon as they were a fair distance away, the grinding

sound of moving rocks reverberated out of the cave.

It took about ten minutes. They returned to the cave after the sounds

stopped and saw that there was a new room on either side of the original

room, separated by wooden doors. The boss panicked for a second after

seeing that the Dungeon Core was missing, but he soon found it on the wall

of the rightmost room.

The two new rooms looked exactly the same as the first room, but the

addition of wooden doors suddenly made the cave feel a lot more like a

hideout. They couldn't believe that so much space had been added in only ten

minutes. It would have taken at least a month for people to mine out two

rooms of that size. Unless a trained magician helped out, that is, which would

speed things up to about ten minutes as well.

Three rooms, lined up horizontally. Adding two rooms was all it took to

triple the cave's total space. And there was a bed in the rightmost room. Now

the inclusion of the pillow in the treasure chest made sense.

What, the dungeon made all this for me? What a nice little cutie. The

bandit boss murmured to himself.

# Keima's Perspective

"...God! Why, WHY did you make me spend 480 whole DP on that

guy...!"

"Woah, now. 10 DP for the [Treasure Chest] and [Pillow], 20 DP for the

two [Wooden Doors], and 50 DP for the [Simple Bed]... We only spent 80

DP on him."

"Whaaat? It cost 200 DP each to add those rooms, didn't it?"

"Don't be stupid. Unlike that steel helmet, they can't take those rooms

from the dungeon and sell them. They're permanently ours."

Rokuko tilted her head with a confused expression on her face, not

understanding what I had meant.

You know, she is a Dungeon Core from a fantasy world. She might

actually be as young as she looks. She can change her appearance whenever

she wants, after all. ...Actually, I bet this blonde loli is even younger than she

looks right now. Definitely.

"We had to expand the dungeon at some point. Here, let me try and make

this easy for you to understand... Say we can only place six goblins in one

room. By adding two extra rooms, we can now place eighteen goblins in

total."

"Wow, what?! That's amazing! Let's add even more new rooms!"

Yeah, I'm pretty amazed that was all it took to convince you.

"...W-Wait a second! We have a big problem! All of our 870 DP is gone,

completely gone!"

"Yeah, 'cause I used it all."

"H-Huh?! On what?!"

"Take a look." I showed her the dungeon map.

Using the camera, I went outside the dungeon and showed her that I had

built another single-room cave elsewhere on the mountain and added a dirt

path to connect it with the main body of the dungeon. The room had cost 200

DP and the five-meter-wide path had cost 30 DP. Since there was no need to

move rock around outside, the path was pretty cheap despite ending up being

almost a solid kilometer long. Though I had still ended up using every last bit

of our DP.

"...Haaah. I never would have thought about expanding the dungeon from

the outside. You sure have a looot of crazy ideas, Keima. But what are you

going to do with that room? Wasn't it a complete waste of DP?"

"Rejoice, my companion. This is a room made especially for goblins, just

like you've always wanted."

"Yaaay♪! ...Wait, did I want something like that?"

"Don't you love goblins?"

She was always telling me to summon goblins this, summon goblins that.

It took a bit, but it finally dawned on me. Rokuko loves goblins. She wants to

be surrounded by goblins. She wants goblins to serve her. She wants to be

queen of the goblins.

"...Um, I think you're taking things the wrong way."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to make fun of you. Everyone has their own

fetishes. My friend, I'll fight by your side even if you do have a massive

goblin fetish."

"Hey, what do you mean by that?! What's with that understanding look in

your eyes?! You don't understand anything!"

"By the way, I'm not a lolicon. I just love feet. The only thing I dig about

your current body is your feet."

"Hey, no, no! Seriously, what are you even saying?! And why do you

look so condescending?!"

Anyway, there's nothing left for us to do now that we're out of DP. Time

to go back to sleep for the third time.

I got back into my futon and listened to Rokuko's voice fade out. ...How

long is that order gonna last?