Chapter 4

The pale crescent moon shines like a silvery claw in the night sky. The host of stars stretch into infinity. I sit burrowed in my cushioned corner against the Ionic column—there are four of them spaced out at wide intervals. The bordered ledge is ornamented with plush pillows for my comfort. The neck of each column has tall drapes that flutter in the air, frolicking to the northern winds of Armathis. Home. After dinner, Seliah and I retired to my bedchambers. We haven't spoken since. I suppose we're both trying to process it all in our own capacity.

I cannot even dismiss the notion of possibly winning the King Trials. I never wanted to be a Hera, let alone a queen, a High Queen at that. It's all too much for my mind to digest. If I win, I cannot even relish in my newfound power, a life to command by my own words. I will have all the nine provinces to contend with, and their burdens become mine. Additionally, I would also raise my Regnum's standing forever, and that too is my blood-bound duty.

Troubled, I cast my worries out, seeking comfort beyond.

The Prime province is shrouded under the cowl of darkness. The settlements speckled across the plain are aflame with beads of light that pinprick the darkness. The most prominent beacon is king Arma's castle on the horizon, its frame unseen, only outlined by the golden lights that illuminate the expanse. During the day, it eludes me. But only in the darkness does it shine.

Exhaling, I lean my head against the pillar, closing my eyes. I let my qualms be carried away with the sleek robe of water, the gentle swooshes and swishes of the spillway lulls me into serenity. The tranquil symphony the Cerulean constantly plays, its own melodious instrument.

A thought seizes me.

My head lifts to look back at Seliah. She's up on the platform, sitting at the foot of my bed. Her gaze flung as far as the castle in the distance. A dour look engraved on her face.

I suppose, either way, our lives will soon change forever. If I win the Vasilias Imperii; we will lose each other. If I am defeated, I marry into the next best thing and so will she. Our husbands could be anywhere in the realm.

If I do win, I will still lose.

Since the beginning, it has been Seliah and me, safe in our little world, revelling in our timed freedom. And doing as we please, to some extent. It was always us two and occasionally Wren, Eren and Macie, but now all of that is about to change.

"You know what I cannot understand," I start.

Seliah blinks and fixes her gaze on me, attentive to my words.

"How did the High Tribunal agree to Shalem?" My legs slip out of the dress's slits. The soft fabric sprawling across the cushion. "Should not royal-born descendants take part in The Vasilias Imperii? Sons of kings, the purest of us all."

She lifts a shoulder. "It's as the Domina said. They were arrogant, probably thought that the High King would always have enough heirs of his own, bastard born included. But the High King is a loyal man; he has no concubines or mistresses. The High Queen is his heart... and so was the Dophan."

I shake my head. "It still did not stop the Decuria from overreaching. It is as if they foresaw an outbreak that would mar a woman's fertility."

"It still does not change what has happened."

My frustration overpowers any sense of reason. "But it still does not mean it should happen."

"But it has," she snaps.

My eyes shoot to her. She dodges my gaze.

I look away. An interlude of strained silence yawns between us, further than the distance between the Regnum and the king's castle. Without looking, I listen to the pitter-patter of bare feet on the glazed floor. Soon Seliah sets herself on the same ledge as I, directly opposite me. She rests against the other pillar, gazing out into the starry scene.

"Forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive," I dismiss. We finally look at each other. "I simply do not wish to believe that our lives were one way and now it will be something completely different. No more rides into town... silly games with its people...." I sneak in a giggle. "No more this." My eyes scan my chambers, gesturing to the Regnum.

Seliah shakes her head vigorously. "No. The Valwa Regnum may be your Regnum and your responsibility, but it is not your home. Your home will be the Pantheon when you are crowned High Queen of Urium. The First female monarch to rule over all nine kingdoms."

I snort at her unfounded optimism. "You forget that the odds are already against me because I am a female. We both know that they intended male descendants to be candidates. Sons, not daughters."

Seliah flashes a wicked grin. "Blest be their arrogance then. For the very thing they looked down upon, they will have to look up to when they are all forced to bow at your coronation." She shimmies up the pillar to sit upright. "Now, how much do you know of your competitors?"

I ponder for several moments and shrug. "Surface-level information we garnered from royal ceremonies or exclusive parties that the Herems were in attendance."

"The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend." A mischievous look glints in her dark eye. "These are no mere Noblemen, these are sons of Domuses. By cancelling who's false, you will see who is true."

I arc my brow at her. "You just want to talk about them."

Her lips curve roguish grin.

"First off, we have the kingdom of Erham. Domus Eilos has three sons and two daughters." An epiphany brightens her face. "We actually met both of them at the Countess's ball, three full moons ago."

Rummaging through a collection of memories in my brain. I find them. Eilos's daughters: dainty, shrilly voices, exceedingly wealthy, and they make sure that everyone knows it.

"His eldest son is Markevius. I hear tales of the parties he gives. He's rather a wild one, imprudent, averse to any form of responsibility. His only worth is master host, but at least he knows how to have fun."

I smile at her lazily. "Next."

"The Emikrol Empire, with the second-largest army in the realm. Regnum Ethane, the famed Regnum of warriors that bore the greatest combatants in Urium history. The Pavelia wars, the scourge battles and even skirmishes in the frontiers."

I stare at her with a bored look. "You regale me of the realm's history as if we did not have to suffer together in our mutual education."

She waves me off. "Just allow me to have my moment."

I motion an approving gesture.

"The eldest son, Vince Esputo—"

"Yes, yes, he was a dear companion to the Dophan and many princes regard him as a close friend. He is either very charming or overly ambitious. I vote for the latter."

Seliah stings me with a reproachful look. "And overly handsome, and the most desired Herem in Urium. The fires of victory run in his blood. He is your biggest competition; he has the support of future rulers. You are all fortunate that the Trials are not based on a voting system or else he will surely reign."

I look away indifferently. "How tragic."

She frowns and kicks my ankle.

"Ow." Even though it didn't hurt.

"Be serious, I know you do not wish to be High Queen, but even if there's a minuscule chance, you must take it," she urges, sombre lines inscribing itself on her forehead. "If you cannot do it for yourself. Do it for father, he deserves to go to his grave with peace, knowing that his daughters are well and his Regnum shall stand."

Her words are like weights hanging around my neck. Heavy, but are mine to bear.

I fix my posture and look at her straight in her eyes. "Who's next?"

She nods at me gratefully and continues. "Regnum of Salis in the Kingdom of Mela. The eldest son, Rimnick, he is—"

"A wretch, utterly despicable and disgusting," I spit out.

Seliah's eyes widen and she looks away, muffling a laugh. "I was going to say...unrefined."

"That would be doing his victims' injustice." I cross my arms. "It was... two winters ago, remember, at the solstice ball? To my disdain, he was there...."

Seliah looks at me with a tint of doubt in her eyes. "All that surrounds him is notoriety, rumours spun by bored little noblewomen. At the ball, I never saw him—"

"But I did," I interject again. "I saw him there. And rumours gain traction somehow. There is always a morsel of truth to it. One instance, it could be gossip, others are a sickly pattern."

Seliah sighs and tosses a glance outside. "You think he is capable of it... of what others claim he has done?"

I place my hand on my stomach. An uneasiness growing within. "I think it is true, and that he targets fellow noblewomen like us because he knows if they come forth. That if they expose him, they expose themselves. That their virtues are destroyed and their repute ruined. Unable to forge marriage alliances and aid their families, since no Nobleman would want used goods."

Seliah squirms and shakes out her arms like a swarm of insects are crawling all over her. "I cannot even imagine. Alright, alright, next candidate." She draws her toned legs to her chest and wraps her arms around them. "The kingdom of Erindor," she resumes.

I think back, and my lips move to one side for a moment. "Eldest son... Ahyan?"

She shakes her head. "Second. Solaris is the first. He actually visited the Prime province once. I know little of him, but I suppose that is a good thing. He does not have even a hint of gossip to smear his good name. He is either a good man or good at hiding his indiscretions."

Fondness warms the chill of my apathy. "He deserves to win; he would be a true High Ruler that the realm deserves. He is kind, compassionate, and clever. And he's—"

"A threat to you and your objective," Seliah says bluntly. "I think it was the first time I ever saw you had a sincere interest in someone. Fortunately, he does not know that. He wrote you letters, and you did not respond to any of them." A meld of chiding and relief in her tone.

My face fully aflame, I bury it in my hands for a moment. "He was trying to court me, and it scared me. I was not ready then." My hands fall to my lap.

Seliah's face grows serious. "But now you are."

I disconnect my gaze.

"The charming ones you should look out for, especially Solaris. He was once an interest but now he is your rival. And believe me, he knows that, and he will treat you as such. Good or not, humble or nought. This is a chance of a lifetime. Not only for themselves, but for their families as well."

My gaze is still afar. I nod in accord.

"Dawegelia. The eldest son is...." She falls silent and her eyes wander. "Actually, I am not acquainted with Domus Chelia's sons...I know his one daughter, Arabella, she's amiable...I suppose he is too."

I let out a weightless laugh. "It is truly amusing how we have attended the solstice balls and other events, which they all attended, but I know almost none of them. Merely faces in a crowd."

She inhales a deep breath and looks out. Half of her face under the grace of moonlight. "After a while, they all blur together. Especially in the social season. How draining. The small talk, fake flattery, and acting all proper. I think that one should say what they wish and do what they will."

I stare at her for a long while. Finally, I say, "Not in our world, sister."

Befallen with sudden despair, I move to hop off the ledge. "I think it is best if we end for tonight and resume my 'lessons' tomorrow."

She nods and slips off the ledge. "Can I rather sleep here tonight? My chambers are all the way on the other side," she drags out dramatically. "The only way I will reach them is if you carry me."

"On your way there, there are dozens of guest chambers that you can rest at, feel free to accommodate yourself."

She glares at me playfully and sashays her way to the doors. "Do not act all grown and forget the days that I sheltered you in my chambers. When you needed sanctuary from the beasts in your nightmares."

I smile at her impishly. "I was afraid. But now, it is them that fear me," I say, strolling towards my bed on the elevated platform.

"See, there is that fierceness in you!" she shouts mid-walk. "And any who tries, they will rue the day they challenged the future High Queen."

***

"Did you know?"

My father eases forward in his seat, leaning into the welling bowl of light from the candle stand on his desk. I forsake every thought of respect and deference, coming to stand right at the face of the wooden table.

"You should be sleeping. It's late."

"Did you know this would happen?"

His impassive expression is unbreakable and unchangeable. "How could I foresee the death of the Dophan?"

"You foresaw something." My anger catches alight like a flint met with steel. "The fault is mine for I never questioned your choices—not enough. The way you raised Seliah and I, you claimed it was for our own protection so one day we could protect our Regnum. Knowing full well we are noblewomen, and the only purpose we serve is to breed and carry the legacy of men."

Father steeples his fingers, looking at me with a pensive stare, welding with an emotion I cannot name. His silence elicits a ramble from me.

"I suppose I never wanted to question it, because the monotony I was destined for as a woman is a fate I dare not accept. Is that the truth you sought from me?"

His silence persists to my great displeasure.

"It was more than the lie you fed me about safeguarding our Regnum. A palatable lie because I was a child, but I'm a child no longer and I can see links forming where there should be none." Suddenly too close to anger. "What motivated your unorthodox approach to our upbringing? For it is a truth you have kept from even my mother due to her cycles' worth of objections."

His slate-grey eyes are like burnished silver in the dark. "The truth is what it has always been. I raised you the way you did because you are unlike other Heras—a truth I have reiterated throughout your childhood. You are the last pureblood of our line. Can you comprehend that? The last. You…" his reedy lips rumple as if restraining something from escaping him. "You are vital. More than you can fathom, and that is all you need to know."

I shove my anger aside. "What are you keeping from me?"

He slips back into his seat, darkness swallowing his head, his face disappearing into the black.

"Why are you keeping the truth from me?"

"Why do you believe I lie?" He tosses up his fingers brusquely. "Leave me."

My body turns on impulse, but I resist instinct. "No," I whisper. "We have both prolonged this enough. You cannot dismiss me now—not on this."

His head levels, revealing his chin. "Do not let your upheaval manifest into anger because you are afraid."

"I am not afraid," I utter, gnashing teeth shredding my words. "I only wish to understand. I may not see victory, but I may live. My training virtually ensures my survival."

"Nothing in this life is ever a guarantee, Adalia. You should know better than to think that." Reproach splicing into his voice. "You may be able to fight well, but another might be better and an advantage—however miniscule—in one decided moment. A failure that could be the difference between your survival and your head joining the pedestalled busts in the front entrance."

Shock knocks me a step back, not because of his words but at the indifference placed behind them.

"Close your mouth."

My lips snap shut.

"I will not mince words, for that is the reality you face. You will not dither nor waver. You are equipped with combative skill and a storehouse of knowledge and wisdom that is your birthright. The answers you seek lie in your future, not your past."