Chapter 67: This Venerable One’s Heartfelt Anguish

The city god temple stood at the very edge of Chu Xun's range of

power. His barrier reached the stairs of the temple, but no farther.

Inside the temple, candles flickered weakly. A dozen ghosts who had

cultivated corporeal forms lined either side. Between the lines was a woman

in red, tied up and facing away from them, her head tilted back as she gazed

up at the statue on the altar.

Next to her stood Xiaoman, his eyes downcast as he held firmly onto a

young child.

"Lan-er!" Chu Xun cried out.

The child was none other than Chu Xun's son, Chu Lan. Mo Ran's

heart lurched at the sight of the kid in trouble; he could still taste the pastry

on his tongue. He made to go over but was blocked by Chu Wanning.

"Don't."

"Why not?!"

Chu Wanning glanced at him. "Every one of them is already two

hundred years dead," he said quietly. "But this illusion has been manifested. I

don't want you to get hurt."

Mo Ran fell silent. It was the truth. No matter what he did now, the

dead were already gone, and there was no way to change that.

The boy wailed from outside the barrier, nearly unintelligible. "Papa!

Papa, help me! Papa, please help Lan-er!"

Chu Xun's lips quivered. "What are you doing?" he yelled at Xiaoman.

"I've never done you wrong. Let him go!"

Xiaoman ignored him, head lowered as if he had heard none of it.

However, the hands clutching Chu Lan betrayed his inner hesitation. There

was a mole between the thumb and forefinger of his left hand, and his hands

trembled without stop, the veins on their backs starkly visible.

By now, everyone taking refuge at the governor's residence had

arrived as well. They murmured to one another, aghast and furious at the sight

within the temple.

"That's the gongzi's son…"

"How could this happen…"

In a single motion, Xiaoman cut the ropes binding the red-robed

woman. She seemed to come back to her senses and turned slowly around.

She was beautiful, pure as a lotus flower, her neck long and elegant—but her

face was paper-pale, and her lips were tinted red as blood. The smile she

directed at Chu Xun was more terrifying than it was lovely.

The low light of the candles illuminated her face. The moment Chu

Xun saw her, he froze, as did the people old enough to recognize her.

There was sadness in her smile. Softly, she said, "Husband."

Mo Ran's expression was pure shock.

Chu Wanning watched on silently.

The woman was none other than Chu Xun's deceased wife.

Madam Chu looked to her side and lashed out her arm to take her son

from Xiaoman. Though Xiaoman was unwilling, Madam Chu was a ghost and

much stronger than he was, now that she had been freed from her bindings.

She easily pulled the child from his grasp. However, the madam had died of

illness before her child was even a month old, so the boy had never seen his

mother. He kept crying for his father to save him.

"Be a good boy and don't cry anymore. Mama will take you to your

papa."

Madam Chu hefted the child in her delicate arms and slowly walked

out of the temple, down the rain-soaked stone steps, to the edge of the

Shangqing Barrier. She stood facing Chu Xun, her joy mixed with sorrow.

"My husband, it's been a long time. Have…have you been well?"

Chu Xun couldn't speak. The tips of his fingers shook uncontrollably at

his sides as those phoenix eyes stared at the woman behind the barrier, their

rims slowly reddening.

"Lan-er has already grown so big," Madam Chu continued softly.

"You've grown steadier too. A little different from the man I remember… Let

me take a good look at you."

She reached out and her hand pressed against the barrier. She couldn't

cross it, not while her body was that of a ghost. She could only gaze quietly

across the flowing colors of the barrier at the person on the other side.

Chu Xun's eyes slid closed, wetness clinging to his lashes. He pressed

his hand to hers, separated by the barrier. Then his eyes opened. The pair

gazed at each other, across life and death, just as in days before.

Chu Xun choked back a sob. "My wife…"

Where the family had been separated by life and death for many years,

the time they had spent together had been pitifully meager.

"The haitang tree I planted in the courtyard that year, did it take root?"

she asked.

Chu Xun smiled with watery eyes. "It's grown tall and beautiful."

"I'm glad," said Madam Chu, smiling gently.

Chu Xun tried his best to keep smiling as well. "Lan-er loves that

haitang tree. He's always playing under it in the spring. He likes haitang

flowers, just like you, every…every year, during Qingming…"13

 Unable to

keep up the act any longer, Chu Xun pressed his forehead against the barrier,

tears falling without stop as his voice broke. "Every year, during Qingming,

he always picks the prettiest flower to place before your grave. Wan'er,

Wan'er, did you see? Every…every year, did you see?"

He was wracked with sobs by the end, every word bleeding misery,

until his composure finally fell apart altogether.

Madam Chu's eyes also grew red. She was a ghost and had no tears to

shed, but her miserable expression was no less unsettling to the onlookers.

For a moment, all were silent, everyone wordlessly watching the

scene before them. Someone wept quietly.

Then a cold voice rang out from above. "Of course she knows. But not

for long."

Mo Ran's face instantly changed. "It's the ghost king!"

Chu Wanning's expression grew dark as well. "This coward won't

even show himself. Shameless!"

The ghost king's laugh sounded like nails against metal and made their

blood run cold. "Lin Wan'er is one of our number now. I didn't want to hurt

her, but since you're so set on opposing me and even ruined one of my eyes,

I'll just have to dig out your heart to inflict a worse pain on you!"

At these words, the ghosts in the temple began chanting incantations.

"The heart is no more, let the past be erased—"

Madam Chu's eyes shot wide open and her voice shook. "My husband

—Lan-er! Take Lan-er!"

"The heart is no more, let connections be severed—"

"Lan-er! Quickly! Go to your papa!"

Madam Chu tried to push her child across the barrier, but the thin layer

of light kept him out as if he too was a ghost.

Xiaoman looked down at them from where he stood by the railing of

the temple. His face, originally charming, twisted with a mixture of sorrow

and glee. "It's useless. I put a ghost mark on him, as the ghost king instructed.

He's just like you now—the barrier won't let him in."

Behind them, the incantation rose like a tide. "The heart is no more, let

reason be shattered—"

"Husband!" Madam Chu was already panicked beyond measure,

clutching her child to her breast and banging on the barrier. "Husband, take

the barrier down. Take it down and let Lan-er in—you have to protect him!

You have to protect him. I—I'm almost…I…"

"The heart is no more, let compassion be smothered—"

"Husband—!"

Madam Chu fell to her knees, her eyes wide as her whole body shook

uncontrollably. Curse marks the color of blood slowly climbed up her face.

"Our child—Lan-er… You promised me, you promised me that you'd take

care of him… Take it down… Please, I'm begging you… Take it down…

Husband!"

Chu Xun felt as if his insides were being ripped apart. Again and

again, his hand lifted to dispel the barrier only to fall back down.

Outside the barrier, Chu Lan bawled loudly, staring up at him with a

tear-stained face, his little hands reaching. "Papa doesn't…want Lan-er

anymore? Lan-er wants Papa… Papa, hold me…"

Madam Chu held her child tightly in her arms, kissing his cheek. The

pair of mother and son, one kneeling, one crying, begged Chu Xun to take

down the Shangqing Barrier and let the child in.

Suddenly, someone in the crowd cried out, "Gongzi, you can't! You

can't drop the barrier. You would doom the hundreds of people left in Lin'an

—that's their ploy! Gongzi! You can't drop the barrier!"

"That's right, the barrier must be kept up!"

The common people's desire to live made them kneel one after another

and grovel before Chu Xun, pleading.

"Gongzi, please! You can't take down the barrier or everyone will

die!"

"Madam, please…" One of them knelt and bowed before Madam Chu.

"Madam, please have mercy. Please be benevolent. We will be grateful to

you forever, just please don't make the gongzi take down the barrier. You

were always so compassionate, please, we're begging you…"

In an instant, other than the guards and a handful of others, everyone

was on their knees begging and crying, their voices drowning out those of

Madam Chu and her son outside the barrier.

Chu Xun felt like he was standing on the point of a needle while being

stabbed by thousands upon thousands of sharp knives. Each blade grew barbs

within his flesh and tore through his organs.

Before him were his wife and son, and behind him were the lives of

hundreds. Thus tormented, he felt as if he had already died—as if he had

been swallowed by flames and burnt to ashes.

Nevertheless, the chanting continued, even more piercing than before.

"The heart is no more, let emotion be expunged. The heart is no more,

let desire be dissipated—"

More and more curse marks climbed up Madam Chu's fair neck,

nearly covering her face, and they began to bleed into her eyes. She could

hardly speak anymore and only stared at her husband in despair as she

strained to utter: "If you… I…will…hate you… Take…take Lan-er… I

hate…I…"

The curse marks oozed into her pupils. Her body shuddered as if in

agony, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"I—hate you!"

A wretched scream tore through the air, but by the end it turned into a

bestial cry.

Madam Chu's eyes flew open. Her gentle almond-shaped eyes were

stained the color of blood, and the whites of her sclera had disappeared, for

there were now four pupils in each eye.

"Wan'er!" Chu Xun cried out with boundless sorrow, forgetting for a

moment that the Shangqing Barrier required its caster to remain inside,

wanting only to be with his wife.

Just as he was about to step out of the barrier, an arrow pierced the sky

and landed firmly in his shoulder. The arm he had raised dropped back down

to his side.

It was a young man of the guard, still posed with bow in hand.

"Gongzi! Wake up!" he self-righteously said to Chu Xun. "You've always

taught us that the righteous put the people before the self. Were those just

pretty words? Will you throw away the lives of hundreds to save one person

the moment your own interests are at stake?!"

"P-put that bow down," an old woman next to the young man said

shakily. "How could you hurt the gongzi? Everything—everything is the

gongzi's choice. Gongzi has already done his utmost. How, how could you…

How could you be so ungrateful?!"

As they argued, fearful cries broke out at the fore.

Madam Chu had entirely transformed. Only a moment ago, she had

held her child with such love, but now she was no different from a beast. She

howled toward the sky with saliva dripping from her mouth, her teeth

growing longer by the second.

In her arms, Chu Lan's voice had gone hoarse from crying, but in

between sobs he still called out, "Mama…"

What answered him were Madam Chu's bloodred claws, which

pierced through his throat.

All sound disappeared from the world. Droplets of blood drifted

through the air like so many blossoms.

It was just like that moment years ago when Madam Chu had stood by

the window holding her newborn child as she watched the petals of newly

bloomed haitang flowers dancing in the courtyard. She had cradled the child

gently in her arms as she sang softly. "Red haitang, yellow haitang, floating

gently in the wind. Children in a land far away, missing their mom and

dad."14

Red haitang…yellow haitang…

The hand that had caressed Chu Lan so tenderly that year tore into his

skull, his limbs, his flesh.

Floating gently in the wind.

The rain came down in a deluge, blood pooling and flowing along the

ground. The mother devoured her child's entrails.

Children in a land far away.

The eaves of the City God Temple towered solemnly above.

The year Chu Lan was born, his mother had knelt before this temple

and clasped her warm, delicate hands in prayer. The chime of a clock had

scattered the birds nearby, and in the haze of the fragrant candles, she had

bowed low to pray for her child's health and happiness, that he might live a

long life free from worries…

Missing their mom and dad.

Chu Lan's heart was torn from his mangled body. Madam Chu sank her

teeth into it, insatiable, blood dripping from the corners of her mouth.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!"

Chu Xun broke. He clutched his head where he had fallen to his knees

and bashed his skull repeatedly against the ground. He wept, wretched and

miserable, kneeling in the rain and the blood in front of his wife and son, in

front of all the people of Lin'an. He knelt before the image of divinity, and he

knelt in the mud underfoot.

He knelt in the depths of sin, and he knelt in the heights of virtue.

He knelt in untold gratitude, and he knelt in utmost hatred.

He hunched over in the dust, his very soul torn apart and extinguished.

Disintegrated into dust.

A long while passed before the people finally spoke in quavering

voices.

"Gongzi…"

"Gongzi, condolences…"

"Gongzi's benevolence will not be forgotten…"

"Chu-gongzi is righteous. Truly a kind person! Truly a kind person…"

Someone had pulled their own child close and covered his eyes so that

he wouldn't see the bloody scene. They only now let go to say to Chu Xun,

"Gongzi, you saved all our lives. The madam and the little gongzi, they'll…

they'll surely ascend to paradise…"

"Take your child and get lost!" someone else spat. "Why didn't you

and your child go to paradise instead?!"

The parent backed timidly away.

It all seemed so distant. Chu Xun felt like he had already died. The

voices sounded as if they came from across an ocean, from across a life.

In the torrential downpour, a man was covered in mud, and a thin layer

of transparent light separated him from his wife and son, the dead on one

side, the dying on the other.

When Mo Ran looked at this scene, he suddenly thought of his past

life, in which he had wantonly slaughtered the innocent. He wondered if he

had created more than one Chu Xun, more than one Chu Lan, more than one

Madam Chu…

He looked down at his hands. For a split second, they seemed to be

covered in blood. Then he blinked, and it was only the ice-cold rain

gathering in his palms and flowing down his hands. He trembled.

In the next moment, a warm hand took his. Mo Ran snapped out of it as

if he were waking from a nightmare and found his little shidi gazing up at him

with concern. He looked so much like Chu Lan.

Mo Ran slowly knelt down to eye level with his shidi, like a sinner

begging forgiveness from the souls of the dead, and stared at him with eyes

welling from both rain and tears.

Chu Wanning said nothing, only reached up and patted him on the head.

"It's already happened," he said softly. "It's all in the past."

"You're right." A while passed before Mo Ran wrangled out a sad

smile. Lowering his lashes, he murmured, "It's all in the past."

However, even if it was all in the past, he had still done all those

things. He hadn't killed Chu Lan, but how many people just like Chu Lan had

died because of him?

The more Mo Ran thought about it, the more scared he became, and the

more it hurt.

Why had he been so cruel? Why had he been so unrelenting?