Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Qianfan had a rough morning by getting wet in the rain and missing his bus. He's also getting late for his work. He had no choice but to walk for his morning job. Bet he will get flu after this since he kind of has a weak immune system.

He got late because of the novel he was reading yesterday. Qianfan found the book on a concrete lying down when he was going home. He tried to look for the owner but there was no one on the street. The book looks old and seems like it was an antique book. He first thought it was a diary or something.

When Qianfan tried to peek at it, he was shocked that it is a novel and the genre of the story made him giddy. He got excited and decided to bring it home.

He was so engrossed reading it that he didn't notice the time is already late. And oh, it's a BL novel by the way. And yes, he's a fudanshi. A gay fudanshi to be exact.

Qianfan discovered his sexuality when he realized that he was more attracted to men than women at the age of 14 years old. He likes buff—muscled men. He first thought that maybe it was just only an admiration—wishing that he wants to have a body like that, but no. Every time he saw a charming guy, especially a muscled man, he always experienced this giddy feeling like a tingling sensation in his body—butterflies in his stomach something like that. He can't name it but he likes what he was feeling. Qianfan even got scared that he may be different from others. Knowing Qianfan's conditions, he had no one to guide and educate him about it—to someone tell him that it's normal.

When he reached the restaurant he saw Xiaobie. "Hey, sorry I got late. Is Mr. Chen here?" Qianfan asked as soon as he put his things in his locker.

"He got here an hour ago. He has something to get and he'll leave after." said the latter.

Qianfan nodded in response and went out of the locker. He came to contact Mr. Chen. "Good morning, Mr. Chen!" He greeted.

"Oh, Qianfan!Good morning!" Mr. Chen greeted back happily. "You're late. Did you overwork yourself again with your other jobs?" a sound of worry can be heard in Mr. Chen's tone.

"No, Mr. Chen. I slept late because of the book I was reading." He denied it immediately.

Jia Qianfan needs to work his butt off in order to live in this shitty world. He has no parents and he grew up in an orphanage—that he soon gets away with because the owner is a fucking pervert. He noticed it when the old fart get a little touchy with him and the other kids. The old fart had this creepy perverted smile that Qianfan cannot stand. The staff under him didn't do anything about it and just feigned ignorance. Qianfan planned to run away and persuades the others to run away with him. Once the old fart and staff had gone to sleep; they set up the place on fire, making it they "accidentally" bumped into one of the candles while running away. After that, they all got split up and Qianfan lived most of his childhood in the streets and his roof was the bridges.

He worked all kinds of labour work. At the age of 15, he worked as a regular janitor in a small barbershop and in the evening he is a dishwasher from a resto. The owner was merciful enough to give him a room to sleep. It was an old storage room but Qianfan was thankful because it was the first time he got a room of his own. At the age of 19, with the money he saves from all the jobs he tried, Qianfan had his own apartment and to this day he still lives there. It was a cheap and densely crowded apartment but Qianfan have no problems with it. He's still lucky that he can afford an apartment despite his living conditions.

Now that he's 27, he worked as a regular sommelier and server in the restaurant he worked before. He got friends with the owner, Mr. Chen. Qianfan smiled. He's so thankful that he met Mr. Chen—for providing him with a room to sleep when he was young and helping him to/with (his) study. He's not gifted. He's actually quite dumb, especially in math. He hates it. Fortunately, he finished his upper secondary education. He didn't go to college as he decided to focus on his job. Mr. Chen being good-natured still accepted him to work in a higher position even though the position requires a college graduate. He's very grateful.

He doesn't know how to repay his kindness. Plus the fact that Mr. Chen is also the one who taught him about LGBTQ+ and his sexuality, and to think that Mr. Chen is the same as he is. Yes, Mr. Chen is gay and happily married to his husband. They got married in Las Vegas, even though Taiwan approved same-sex marriage they still want it in LV—you know, to go straight to the honeymoon because LV is the place they chose for it.

Qianfan gets something from his pocket. It was an envelope. "I want to pay you back. Thank you for paying my rent that time."  He shyly scratches the side of his neck. His rent was due at that time and he was short of money, and Mr. Chen who happened to deliver something near his area came to the rescue and paid the landlady.

"Are you sure you didn't exert yourself just to pay me early?" Mr. Chen said with a hint of doubt.

"I wouldn't be here working right now if that's the case." Qianfan smiled.

Mr. Chen gave him a two "Tsk" sound and patted his shoulder. "Okay, I will be going now, my husband is waiting for me. Serve the customers well!"

Qianfan bowed and do his work.

.       .       .       .

After the long hours of work, it is finally time to go home. After Qianfan get his things in the locker he hurriedly went home. He's thrilled to read and finish the book. He can't wait to know what's going to happen to the story.

As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted by his 3 cats and 2 dogs. Wagging their tails happily when they saw their owner is back. Yes, this is the reason why Qianfan's still struggling despite having a nice position in his work. They are high maintenance to take care of. Qianfan got his babies from the streets—just like him. He can't bear to leave them as they're following him.

Qianfan kneeled and give kisses to his babies and cooed them with a baby voice. "How are my babies doing? Were you guys feeling lonely?"

The cats purred while the dogs barked. Qianfan giggled. Before he got his babies, he always feel alone and the four sides of his walls saw how lonely the atmosphere inside his apartment was. The silence is surprisingly deafening and the clock's ticking is awfully loud at the same time. It's unbearable but Qianfan got his shit together in order to live. He has goals to achieve.

Now that he has someone; the apartment is always lively and full of positive energy. He likes it. He likes the feeling that someone is waiting for him at home.

After hugging his babies, he went to his room to change and shower, after that he prepared the food for his pets. He cooked instant ramen as his dinner because he's lazy to wash any dishes.

When the ramen is ready he went to his room leaving the door open because his babies sometimes sleep on his bed. He grabbed the book and excitedly read it while eating his ramen.

Hours passed by, and Qianfan's suppressing squeals can be heard in the middle of the night. He is feeling giddy when his lovely emperor—Wang Kai Hui and the beautiful MC, An Lixue, have a date in the famous lake in the Wang empire. The emperor was bewitched by Lixue's gentle appearance and his kind personality thus trying to get to know the latter. They're a perfect match. He hopes that the two would confess to each other soon.

Qianfan whimpered. This is the only kind of thing that makes him feel butterflies in his stomach—aside from his ideal type (muscled men). The emperor is his ideal type. He was described as a muscled tall man, a brave emperor, and a genius in martial arts. He's very attractive and handsome that no one can beat.

As a 27-year-old with no experience of what love is and a virgin since birth—YES! HE'S STILL A VIRGIN! He can only imagine and live with his fantasies. Because of how hard-working Qianfan is and wanted to earn a lot of money, he forgot to socialize with others and improve his love life plus that he never got laid. His almighty hand is the only material to satisfy himself. He's scared to socialize because he's not a sweet talker and doesn't know how to carry on a long conversation with strangers.

Oh, please help his poor gay lonely soul. He be craving some loving but is a coward to do it. Tsk tsk.

That's why he drowned himself with BL books/novels/comics just to feel what it feels like having someone by your side and loving you endlessly. Also, he gets the freedom to imagine the face of the characters he wants, especially the main lead!

As Qianfan is happy about the couple having a date in the story, it didn't last as his hated character entered the scene. Wan Shen. A minor character—that the only role in the story is to annoy(chase) the emperor and ruin the moment between the two.

As mentioned, he did ruin the moment between Kai Hui and Lixue. Qianfan is fuming mad. "Dafuq this bitch is doing??!! I hate youuuuu!!! Ughhhh!!" He's in raged while giving a middle finger to the poor book. He waited for that moment to happen, to have the two some alone time but that motherfucker Wan Shen didn't spare it.

Qianfan grips tightly to his pillow, releasing his frustrations and then rolling his eyes heavenwards. He needs to calm down.

He grabbed the book and continue the story but as he reads longer, the anger he felt is increasing. He's gotten to the part where Wan Shen and Kai Hui doing the deed while Kai Hui is under the influence of drugs. The worst part is when Wan Shen found out he was pregnant three months after.

The emperor cannot accept it and wanted to investigate what happened. It is also a way to clear the misunderstandings for Lixue. He didn't want to create problems that can affect his image and his connection to Lixue. 

Kai Hui doesn't have a memory of what happened, he just woke up alone inside his bed chamber and after three months, the news got to him that Wan Shen is pregnant and said that it was his.

It took months to investigate because no one knows where the drug came from and how he ended up being drugged as he encountered a lot of people that night because there was an event happening. Wan Shen gave birth to a baby boy after 8 months.

Two months after, Wan Shen was proven guilty of drugging the emperor and was announced to be executed. Drugging an emperor is a serious crime because it can lead to the emperor's death if the action of drugging has the intent of killing the emperor.

When Qianfan got to the part where Wan Shen begged for his life he felt bad. He kept saying that it wasn't him. Wan Shen is trying to prove his innocence but no one's believing him. His child will be left alone if he died. He knows that the emperor won't spare even a glance at the poor baby. He will be an outcast just like him. Wan Shen can't leave his son.

Qianfan got sad about the situation of Wan Shen and his baby. But he thinks that he deserves it since he drugged the emperor. Qianfan hopes that the servant will continue to take care of Wan Shen's baby.

The day comes of Wan Shen's execution. He closed his eyes as a sign of accepting his fate. For his last moment, he remembers the face of his baby. Before he was hung he uttered a word for his son.

"I'm sorry."

Qianfan sobbed, that's when he realized he is crying. He felt bad but there was nothing he can do. He may be irritated by his character but at least he never tried to do something bad—except for drugging the emperor. That's the only time he did something wrong.

Qianfan turned to the next page to know what happen after the execution but he whined a loud "WHAT?!" when he saw that's the last page of the book. He tried to see if the book was torn but it isn't. He was too immersed that he didn't notice that he was on the last page.

He closed the book and put it aside. His energy drained too much after reading the story. He doesn't know why but he felt exhausted.

It's late and he's sleepy. He doesn't want to be late for his work again. He'll just be going to rethink what happened to the story later.

AHSTHAN