20. The Choice

Shashin was right, and this place had gotten quieter since that incident. Perhaps I was too slow to realize that it was not only Hana that was missing but also many other female friends. So far, I still could not understand my father's way of thinking when he did such awful things. I could say he was such a selfish man and a human, too. Wasn't it so normal for a human to possess such greed for a position, as he was the only child of my grandmother?

Yes, officially, my father had not yet separated from my mother. Yet, he married another woman and almost killed me. I kept wondering what kind of parents I had so far. This might also be the underlying reason why I was reluctant to build up such a relationship. I was thinking of dedicating my life to Azalea, like Shashin. That way, I didn't have to get married for the rest of my life, and I would stay here for good.

"Are you dreaming?!" I almost broke my arrow into two when Shashin slapped my arm to wake me up. "What are you dreaming about?" He put down his shield, which looked horrible to me. There were some blood splotches there.

"Put that away from me!" He removed that shield right away.

"Are there things that are bothering your mind?" He asked again.

I glanced at him, hesitating to bring it up. "Will I be able to be like you?"

"Yes you can, but of course you need lighter weapons and armor, and with smaller size as well," He said, "You are aware of your body posture, aren't you?" He made fun of me.

"That's not what I mean!" I denied. His expression changed into confusion instantly. "I am planning to stay here for good." I told him.

Now his face was shocked. "Meaning?" He frowned. Perhaps he was trying to comprehend my words.

"I want to dedicate myself fr Azalea. I want to be like you, and I will never go back to my own world. It is true that I don't have such skills like you do, but so far I have proved that I can solve problems my ways." I looked at him seriously, then I continued, "Will there be a chance for me to be like you?"

Instantly Shashin's expression turned into shock. He could not believe what I had said. "Why so sudden?" He sounded panicked. "Think it over. Once you make a decision, you can't go back." He was right, and Azalea would never let me go once she got me. I knew that for sure.

"Yeah, you are right." I nodded in agreement. "It is just a plan, though. I will think it over and over about this decision." I decided.

The choice I made might sound weird. The urge to have a normal life was still strong, yet suddenly, I wanted to dedicate my life to Azalea and live in Alpha Camp, which was totally different from my own world. Shashin asked me to think over this decision. He said that such a decision was due to my desperate feeling toward the problems I faced. I agreed to take some time to reconsider it, but in fact, this decision was triggered by the trauma.

A child in a certain time would want to be like his parents. For example, if one of his parents was a police officer, he would someday dream to be a policeman as well. This was different from what I felt because I was not strongly bound with my parents since I was a child. This reason made me make such a decision, I didn't want another me in the future. If I were Azalea's subordinate, I wouldn't have to get married and I would be safe here, too.

"Fine, I'll think about it." Shashin might be right that I needed to rethink that decision. I had to be ready not only with that decision I made but also with all the consequences that came along with it.

"Don't ever decide something when you are angry, sad, or when highly emotional. Think it through, including the risks that may assist it when you make that decision." Shashin didn't support me nor forbade me. "What made you want to work for Azalea for good?" He asked. "Back then, she asked that to you but you refused it because you wanted to have a normal life. But now, you come here voluntarily and propose it."

I didn't want to tell him the truth, for it would be seen as my weakness, and I didn't want that. "I can't tell you now." I smiled at him. "Some other time perhaps."

He ruffled my hair before leaving because someone called him. "Two days from now I'll be free. We are going to a village to watch a performance. You want to come along with us?" He said, half screaming as he was quite far from me. I nodded. He responded with a smile before he really disappeared from my sight.

...

I didn't live here for free. Just like the previous time, Azalea asked me to practice archery. Then, I would be sent shopping with the maids, cleaning up the camp, or taking care of the horses. be given tasks such as shopping with the servants, cleaning the camp, and taking care of the horses. Yeah! I simply had to do everything in this place.

That woman always praised my archery skills which she thought were better than her soldiers. I used to be insulted for not being able to shoot well. It was caused by the bow, which was too heavy for me. But after I chose my own bow, things changed.

"Tha, come here!" I have a new friend now. After Hanna's leaving, there was a maid who happened to be her friend, and now she has become familiar with me. As for today, I was invited to buy necessities from a trader or supplier. We would walk through the forest, as well as a village on the slopes of a mountain not far from Alpha camp.