Chapter 12

Kieran

"It' time" Kai said, looking at the time. The noise of muffled voice and music that came from below made me not want to go down.

This is the finale ceremony, after this I am officially Alpha. The is gonna be a full moon at midnight. That is when I fully transform.

Given responsibilities of an alpha and having to take care of this pack with my life. I am not ready, not yet. Just two seconds, just two minutes and maybe can you give me two days or two more moons.

But I couldn't say that, even if my heart is broken, and sick of feeling numb. I can't give up. Not when there are so many relaying on me including Rieka.

"Okay, I am ready" my voice came out in a sterner way than how I was feeling.

As I step out of my room and down the many stairs that exist in this house, towards a room full of people. I can't tell if I should be excited or have to feel anything at all.

I entered the room and all eyes were on me. I have never been seen so I must come as a shock to some people.

I walk through people, waving, smiling and mostly being nice. Kai is behind me. He also is part of the ceremony since he is gonna be my beta.

As I look at unfamiliar people I realize that I have worked my whole life for this moment, to make my father proud, actually my family proud. I should be happy but I am not. All I feel is nothing.

 *************

The night went by with food, drinks and laughers. I got to learn more about my pack. There world is very different than what I had imagined.

A world that was hided from me since from birth.

Everyone here was waiting for midnight. So was I. I wanted this night to end. I want to go to sleep. What was the point of being awake when she is not here and I can't even mourn for her. What kind of a mate am I.

Rieka went silent for days. I have not even heard a single sound coming from him. I think his body is healing and he needs some time to process what happened.

It makes sense if that was was the case. Wolves lash out by going rouge, we did not do that and I am afraid he might not respond. He will live inside me but he might never come out or talk.

If it weren't for the rituals that happened during the two week I would have gone rouge, we could have gone rouge. The rituals also made me feel nothing including the pain that I felt for the first few days.

A few days passed with other rituals happening in private. The coronation tonight is the last one, it is a celebration and the last straw of it.

Some part of me wanted me to hurt, wanted me to go rouge. The thought of not doing or felling anything about my mate and the numbed emotion make me feel like I deserve worse and it's driving me to the wall.

Her not being here makes me feel hollow on the inside. I might be the Alpha but what is an Alpha without it's Luna.

I sat in a table with my father on my left and my beta on my right with some people, I think they were important people.

"How does it feel Kieran?" a man asked.

"Kieran.... did you hear me? the man repeats after a few moments of not getting a response.

I snap my head up and look at the man "Pardon me" I said

I did not hear his questions, my mind was not there.

"I asked about how you feel. You know about being Alpha, do you think you can handle it?" The man asked again.

My father looked at me, everyone looked at me really. I searched for an answer, but only she came to my mind.

"Well, I do....." noise interrupted my response. My attention went straight to the noise.

There were muffles of sound coming from people. I was still confused at what was happening. People were blocking my view, so I couldn't see.

"KIERAN.....KI.." that voice, I recognize it. It's Aylin's voice.

That voice engraved it's self in my memories, if I had to remember one voice for the rest of my life it would be of hers.

I get up from the table and I manage to move through people who where in the dance floor.

The closer I got to where she was standing the stronger her scent. I inhaled it, it was like the breath that was taken away from me came back.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw her standing 10 meters away from me.

Everything faded, my shield, my numbness, I felt like my brain started getting blood again, My heart is now full and able to pump blood.

My hand touched my heart and my body gave up. I knelled down. I felt a knife in my heart getting twisted and stabbed inside my heart. Over and over again. My head started to hurt and spin.

"UHHHH.....UHHHHHH....UHHHH" the pain was more excruciating than the last time. I suck in a breath and look up to see her running toward me. "KIERAN...KIERAN" she looks beautiful but my mind is a haze of pain.

I forgot that we had audience but in that moment I heard Rieka howling and growling. I felt my body falling back as I landed on the floor.

I saw her face as she came by my side and looked at me. It was her, she came back for me. She is back and she looks beautiful. I want to touch her, hold her. But my body does not have the strength, every vain in my body is shooting pain.

I can't keep my eyes open. She touched my cheek. Her hands felt warm and soft.

"Kieran... Kieran wake up. Open your eyes. I need you, just don't sleep okay" her words ringed in my ears like an echo in a distance, but I heard her, I heard her voice. How my ears have longed for that voice, that melody.

My eyes felt heavy and my body was not having it. I opened my mouth to talk but nothing came out, only groans and growls of pain.

I can't close my eyes, what if she is gone when I wake up.

No I need her what if....wha....if.

Everything went black.