Egos

Alejo and Finley took their responsibility of guarding me very seriously. They took turns at training. Both made sure their skills were sharp and my back was covered. Today all clans trained together instead of separating out like yesterday.

Carrion approached me between sparring rounds. I had not seen much of Cali's brother since the night of the ball. He took his training much more seriously than I ever could. Knowing what I knew now about his mother, I'm sure his father wanted him to never have to worry about being at the mercy of someone else's hands.

"Good day, Sir Jacobson," The greeting lacked feeling, but that seemed normal for Carrion.

"Good day, Sir Carrion," I cordially responded. It felt strange using his title when I most often heard his name informally from Cali's lips. Although it was becoming rare to hear it at all.

"I was surprised to hear of your petition the night after the ball. No wonder our Princess graced you with the first dance," Carrion remarked. Nothing in his words was untrue or accusing. Somehow he still made me feel like I should explain myself.

"Yes, well, I surprised myself as well," I stumbled over my thoughts and words. My proposal did come as a shock to me, but that shouldn't be common knowledge.

"I am not sure I understand your meaning. Did you not mean to propose to Princess Alina?" Carrion smiled as if he caught me in a lie.

"I just meant that it was not something I thought I would do growing up. It's amazing how much growing up changes things," I countered. Since none of that was a lie, I hoped my words rang true.

"Ah yes. I never imagined that I would be considered for the Princess's council. Please make sure that I receive notice next time she needs us," Carrion groveled.

This is why he came to chat. He wanted to make sure he was not being left out of any secret meetings that might have happened since the ball. I would gladly give him my place in the King's line of fire during Swordsmen meetings.

"Of course. I'm sure Princess Alina would not be without you. Your skill with a sword is almost unmatched." I meant it to be a complement to try and get Carrion's favor. Somehow my words just soured his expression.

"Thank you for your consideration on the matter we discussed," Carrion huffed and walked back towards where he last sparred.

Finley has been the unfortunate shadow that watched the whole situation with Carrion unravel. I turned to him and shrugged my shoulders. His pinched lips told me he knew where I went wrong.

"What should I have done differently?" I needed to learn how to better lead.

"Personally, I think you should do absolutely nothing differently. Carrion, however, thought you should have left the word 'almost' out of your praise," Finley pointed out my error.

"Is it really my job to over inflate fragile egos for someone to have a sense of self worth?" I thought the question was to myself. To my chagrin, Finley nearly doubled over in a fit of laughter, drawing attention from those around us.

"No sir, I would say that it's typically been the job of people like me. Present company excluded." Finley responded with honesty.

"Glad to know you don't feel like you're propping up my ego." I laughed at myself. With so many missteps on my record, I would either have to choose to laugh it off or give up trying to learn. I loved to learn.

"At this point, Jack, I'm not even sure you have an ego," Finley emphasized my name. It was the first time I heard him say it.

I suppose guarding the country's elite came with a crop of self important people obsessed with titles and social climbing. Not many would want to abandon their title for a simpleton nickname.

I squirmed. Just another way that I was different. Maybe I was not meant for the role I was trying to fill. Can this much self doubt really make an effective leader?

Apparently Finley noticed my change in demeanor. He was very perceptive. It probably helped him rise to the top and made him excellent at his profession.

With his tone low and with a look around Finley whispered, "Remember yourself. Don't let what comes before your name impact who you are and you will be a man people willingly follow."

I smiled. "I suppose you're willingly following me?"

"I do like to be a trendsetter." Finley teased.

"I only hope I'm worthy of that honor." I replied. My attempt at being humble, came off as self important from my viewpoint.

"Those who aren't worthy, never stop and think of someone following them as an honor." Finley suddenly stood straighter.

I looked to see my father and his counterparts approaching. I don't think Finley would have been reprimanded for speaking freely to me, but I also didn't want him to look anything less than professional.

"Sir Jacobson, my daughter informs me that you are needed inside the castle for an afternoon tea?" Lord Bleddyn motioned toward the gardens where a lone Cali stood in the same place that she blocked a practice sword the day before.

"I can stay and train, Lord Bleddyn." Although I had won most of my sparring matches in at least believable ways, I still did not want to seem like I was trying to escape the work.

"That is not necessary, Sir Jacobson. We simply want you to make one more sweep through the men to see if there are any you would recommend for the assignment we discussed yesterday," Lord Garrison explained.

"We don't want you to keep the Queen waiting," my father coyly added with a wink.

Just like that, I went from being a man that men would follow to someone who should not keep the queen waiting. My lips curved into a smirk. My life was certainly unique