Awkward

"Jack, would you kiss me?" Echoed through my head. My jaw dropped, leaving my mouth hanging agape.

"What? Why? What brought that thought to your mind?" My thoughts scrambled. It was not an unappealing idea, but it completely blindsided me.

Alina's hurt eyes pleaded for me to hear her out. "It's just, well, when you were talking to Caismir, you said I was your future wife."

I was not connecting the dots that Alina thought she laid out for me. "Yes…?" I responded. Has that not been the case for a while now? Was I wrong?

Alina rushed through her next thoughts. "It means that when we get married, we will have to kiss in front of the world. Do you really want our first kiss to be in front of everyone?"

I had not really thought too much about that part of our relationship. I was too worried about everything else in my life that was changing. It made sense that Alina would not want an awkward wedding kiss yet something about that logic made me squirm.

"Besides, we will never have an opportunity to be alone again. Not with the guard situation being what it is. Yours are always with you and mine are awful," Alina stated with her tone of desperation growing.

I looked at the ceiling trying to clear my thoughts. My knee bounced with nervous energy making it hard to focus on anything.

"I…guess?" I mumbled conceding Alina's logic to this being the only time we would be alone. I only realized after she started leaning in toward me that she mistook my meaning.

What should I do? It would be embarrassing to reject her at this point. She did have a valid argument. Why does everything have to move so fast? She's my friend!

With so much indecision on my part, Alina took charge. She leaned into me. My mind scurried a million different ways but the thing that took center stage was the painting from earlier. I'm glad I took down the portrait of Alina's father. Kissing in front of that seemed amoral somehow. I rejoiced in that decision.

Alina closed her eyes and turned her head. Her soft lips touched mine for a brief moment before retreating back to her side of the settee.

I read too many novels for my own liking at this very moment. Most of them talked about the fiery passion that erupts when someone kisses their love for the first time. Her lips were warm, but not anything fiery. The kiss was pleasant. It somehow reminded me of Liliana's goodnight pecks.

How do I tell the person that I proposed to that her kisses remind me of my sister? I don't. That's how. How awful would that be? Something in the back of my mind longed for the warmth Cali's hand offered me on the practice field. I tried to slap on a smile.

Alina locked eyes with me. Her expression mirrored my inner turmoil. I guess I was not a good kisser. I had never tried before.

"That bad, huh?" I ventured into asking aloud.

"It wasn't bad. I'm not sure I would say it was good either." It was Alina's turn to squirm.

"Really?" Somehow this made relief rush through me.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Jack," Alina bit her lip but willed herself to continue. "But if I had a brother, I imagine that's what kissing him would feel like."

"You too?" I practically shouted with joy. It felt good not to be alone in feeling that way. "I mean your presence is enjoyable, but that felt…" I lost all words that could describe it.

"Awkward?" Alina offered, smiling that we were both on the same page.

"Yes!" I beamed. I missed the carefree days of our friendship. For the briefest of moments it felt like we were there again.

"Maybe it's something that comes with time. Needless to say, I appreciate you enduring my experiment," Alina thanked me. Her eyes grew wide for a moment. "Please don't tell Ca… anyone about this."

"It was an interesting experiment. Our secret is safe with me," I tried to laugh off the awkward tension. Of course this secret was safe with me. I did not want it getting around the petitioner's court that I was kissing the Princess in the Prince's chambers unescorted.

Finley knocked on the door between the parlor and the prince's study. "Your Highness, Jack, we are about to have company. I suggest you make your way back in here." Caismir must have really meant 10 minutes.

We both stood. My face felt flushed and I'm sure my cheeks were red. I'm sure Caismir is going to love that fact.

"You got your guards to call you Jack?" Alina said as she led the way back into the parlor. Her tone told me little about how she left about that decision.

"Yes. Is that bad?" I was suddenly worried about Alina's opinion on the matter. We entered the parlor and stood by the fireplace.

"Not at all. I wish I had guards that trusted and cared about me enough to form that kind of relationship," Alina chose her words carefully and said them loudly while staring in Finley's direction.

The door swung open to a livid Caismir who was turning red, clamoring to get by Alejo still guarding the door. The troops in the hall obviously overheard Alina's statement.

"I trust you to know I care about your safety, Princess Alina." Caismir muttered.

"Yes, eavesdropping does give that impression, Caismir," Alina retorted before realizing her feisty words were not internalized. "Forgive me. I am just saddened that Sir Jacobson has to be called away so soon."

Caismir straightened to his full height. Literally and figuratively trying to be the bigger person. "I forgive you, Your Highness. Now, I must ask Sir Jacobson and his…" Caismir paused, trying not to say the words that were coming to mind about my shadows. "guards to leave."

"We were just on our way out. Farewell, Alina. We will give your regards to the King next time we see him." I gave her a knowing look. We both knew I was on my way to see King Caderyn and with any luck she would be free again soon