Chapter One-Hundred & Four

CONTENT ADVISORY / TRIGGER WARNING

THIS NOVEL CONTAINS DEPICTIONS/STRONG IMPLICATIONS OF THE FOLLOWING THAT SOME READERS MAY FIND OFFENSIVE OR DISTURBING:

~ SEX AND INTIMACY

~ EXPLICIT SEX SCENES

Eskil walked through the warm halls of Uppsala while ignoring the odd stares he received from the elderly men who resided there. Despite his nudity, he proudly carried himself through the temple as he made his way towards Libelle. He could sense her, and he could feel the hurt that was wreaking havoc through her soul as her mind carried her through a horrific nightmare. The images of her assault would haunt her for a long time, and he wanted to do everything in his power to prevent that.

His lifemate needed him and he wanted to be by her side, even if it was just to hold her, to let her cry and silently comfort her. He had left Theron and Vegeir in the courtyard while relishing the newly-discovered ability to change between forms with little focus. His brothers had tried to taunt him and tease him, but he'd simply turned and stomped through the snow towards the building, leaving Theron to mercilessly laugh at his 'small tail.'

Hesitating behind the heavy door, he inhaled and exhaled slowly before pushing against the wooden planks. It groaned open and in the dim candle light, he could see Libelle asleep on a pile of blankets and animal skins. The simple life of the priests brought them little luxury, and apparently a soft bed was too much to ask for.

Her wounds had been healed with skill and her life was no longer in danger, yet she was still bruised and in pain. Beads of sweat had formed on her forehead, her skin was pale, and the soft flesh beneath her eyes was dark. She was moving about in her sleep, quiet mumbles passing her lips as her nightmare progressed.

Eskil knelt down beside the makeshift bed and lifted the heavy bearskin from her before resting on his side next to her. He wrapped one arm behind her back and gently pulled her closer to him. Even in her sleep, she sensed his presence and he felt her tenseness fading ever so slightly. Rolling onto her side, she rested her head on his arm and her nose brushed against his chest. He heard her sigh and he held her tightly, laying his head down onto the pillow and listening to the crackle of the fire in the room.

The pain in her body, mind and soul was gradually fading as she relaxed in his protective hold. He knew she had endured so much, and it was all because he had failed to protect her. He had failed as her lifemate. It was his duty to protect her, to keep her safe from all harm, to make sure that she spent every day in blissful happiness with him.

Instead, he had fallen prey to the hands of a bastard dark elf and had allowed himself to be defeated by the man. If he had chosen to fight the pain that shook his body with each one of his attacks, and if he had chosen to snap Gaalin's neck earlier, Libelle never would have had to experience such a traumatic event. She never would have had to suffer through **** by a man she had considered a friend and ally for years. She never would have been hurt by the men of Edinburgh. She would have only needed to be happy and by his side.

He ground his teeth together and clenched his eyes shut. He had failed his beautiful lifemate, and the overwhelming feeling crushed him.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Eskil."

His eyes fluttered open and he saw Libelle staring up at him, the swirling colors of her eyes making his heart skip a beat. He wrapped both his arms around her and pulled her onto his chest while he rolled onto his back. She nuzzled the skin of his throat, twisted her arms behind his neck and simply watched him. He was fighting his own demons and his own emotional turmoil.

"Eskil, you did not fail me. You saved me. You'll always save me. That is what matters."

For the first time ever, she heard his voice break. His golden eyes squeezed shut and a single tear fell from the corner of his lashes. Libelle unwrapped her arms from around him and pushed herself up, cupped his cheek in her hand and kissed his pinched lips.

"What happened, happened. There is nothing you nor I can do to change it, so we can only move forward from here. I am not angry, I don't think you did anything wrong, and you could never, ever disappoint me."

"Libelle, you're too good to me," he said slowly. "If I hadn't...If I had fought against him, you wouldn't have all these horrible memories. Those nightmares, I could feel your turmoil. I could see what you were dreaming and it's all because I couldn't protect yo—"

She kissed him again, interrupting his sentence. "Then make me forget those memories, make me forget his touch."

His eyes widened with surprise, her words shocking him and making him lose all trail of thought. She would never blame him for what happened, but she was offering him a way to make it better. Even if all the gods tried to stop him, he would do anything to help ease her pain.

He sat up abruptly, causing her to stumble backwards away from him. He wouldn't tolerate that; she wouldn't be away from him, not even for a second. He grabbed her arms and pulled her upwards into his lap, her bare waist straddling his. She stared into his eyes, her pouty lips tempting him to capture them, and he did, his own lips seeking hers in a rough and hot kiss that caused his loins to stir.

Her fingers dug into his hair, scraping against his scalp, and a soft purr passed her lips when his tongue slipped into her mouth. The warmth of his hands ran up and down her slender back, leaving trails of fire from his touch. He kissed her chin, her cheek, and down her neck to her collarbone.

The sensation of his touch and his steamy kisses sent a shiver down her spine. She could feel his desire for her, his lust making her own even stronger. The slight pinch on her skin when he nipped her followed by his tongue easing away the sting made her moan. Her nails dug into his shoulders when he lifted her upwards by her hips, allowing him room to adjust himself beneath her.

His hands rubbed her outer thighs towards her waist, but when his touch eased closer to her core, she tensed in his arms. Eskil froze when he felt her grip on his shoulders tighten, she sharply inhaled and her eyes widened. How could he take away her pain if she panicked when he touched her?

"Libelle," he said gently.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

He rubbed her cheek. "Don't apologize."

She wanted him, he could feel that, but he needed to work past the fear that Gaalin had instilled into her. He lay back down onto the pile of blankets with a sigh, glancing over the features of her face while she stared at him confused and concerned. Libelle didn't know what to do, but she felt the warm tingle in her core that was telling her exactly what she wanted.

"Beloved, I want you to do something," Eskil said.

She tilted her head to the side, silently questioning him.

"Touch me," he said gently. "Touch me however you want, wherever you want. I want you to be in control."

Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned red. "I-I am not sure I can," she said, feeling embarrassed.

"I won't touch you. In fact, I won't do anything unless you tell me to do it. You will have control over everything."

He knew it would be difficult for her to take the initiative and make the first move. However, this was the only thing that made sense to him. Libelle had the control taken away from her when Gaalin forced her to endure something that no one should ever have to experience. He could give that control back to her here and now, and perhaps she would begin to feel something other than fear.

She bit her lip, her palms resting on his abdomen. "I don't know what to do," she whispered.

He smiled. "Whatever you'd like. If you want to do something, do it. If you want me to do something, tell me."