What Rattata Tastes Like

"I guess you two should get the fuck out of here before Smashed Eggasaurus comes back and beams your ass!" Dirty Harry whispered from my pocket, making Aemii jump, but I agreed with him.

I did not want to chance that creature coming back for round two, considering the shape I was in. I looked down at Aemii, who was turned on my lap and looked at my pocket where the voice had come from.

"Come, let's get out of here first, and then we can talk on the way back. Neither of us wants to be around when that Exeggutor makes his rounds back," I said as I slowly pushed Aemii off my lap.

The Rattata got off me, and the two of us slowly and carefully crawled from the bust and started to head east. I was feeling drained and sore, so the trip was not fast.

After about five minutes of walking, I told Aemii it was okay to talk, and I reached into my pocket to put out the Breedé-Dex. This Rattata was about the size of a small dog, maybe one and a half feet tall, but a smaller head than the cartoon.

"What is that?" Aemii asked, looking up at my hands as she walked beside me like a cute little purple and white dog with whiskers and a long curly tail.

"The list of all the potential pussy and ass you new master is gonna get! Your little monster hole is in here, but you aren't on the smorgasbord yet, so don't worry about getting split in half yet!" Dirty Harry shouted out from a different speaker every time I would cover the one he was shouting out.

"W-W-What are you going to do with my little monster hole?!" Aemii squeaked up at me with shock as she increased the space between us.

I wondered if Oak had any acid sitting around, or maybe I could just find a big rock for now. This was probably tough, and throwing it would just leave the master of the sexiverse to lead some other stranger.

"Bah! Try to toss me, smash me, even poké-cracker me! I will be back in your pocket! If someone takes me? I'm back in your pocket. You're stuck with me bitch, now get hobbling, and let me scan the smexy little mouse!" Dirty Harry told me, and I groaned.

On the bright side, no one could just come and take the Breedé-Dex from me. It also meant that I was never going to be rid of the perverted talkbox.

"I am not going to do anything dirty to you. You're still just a Pokmen, and a tiny one, not my thing. I guess we will have to get you all trained up, and then when you evolve, who knows how you feel, no pressure," I said as I raised the Breedé-Dex up to Aemii, who was looking a bit shy now.

<Rattata is a Normal-type that will bite anything when it attacks but tends to become attached to its owners. Small and very quick, but not that smart. Commonly seen in most places like restaurants and groceries stores. Edible.>

Edible? I looked past the Breedé-Dex at Aemii, and she did have a good amount of meat on her, but really?

I would have thought that they would be eating the bigger one? Why not breed Snorlax or Tauros for food?

<Because they fuck like rabbits, and it is easier to keep them in one spot since they can't get that strong. Most of the food in this world is low-level Pokémon; there are delicacies, but they are not as common as you think. While Ash and the others have gotten most areas like around the cities and main area under control, there are other places that the Pokémon hunt humans.>

'If they are hunting humans, then why doesn't Ash just go and kill them all?'

<They aren't Mythical or Legendary Pokémon, and Ash doesn't care about anyone but himself. While all Pokémon will know you to be a Pokémon like them, some of them won't care what you are. The humans are starting to get braver, and there are more trainers than ever. Still, places like Kanto have been farmed hard, to the point where some breeds of Pokémon can only be found in some hidden regions.>

After Dirty Harry finished explaining things to me, he pulled up the map for me, and we were getting closer. I put the Breedé-Dex back in my pocket and looked back down to Aemii.

She had moved closer and seemed to be walking more proudly now, but that might be the attached part the Breedé-Dex talked about. Still, I was having a hard time trying to get the question of what Rattata might actually taste like out of my head.

[Pretty lean and a bit tough. Good to hear that you are alive and well. I have Oak tied up and gagged while under my confusion. You need to go deal with Gallia. I think the professor might have finally gone too far; she is not responding to anything I say to her.]

Graves' growling voice sounded worried, so I picked up my pace to get back to the lab. I still felt rough, but if Sergeant Psyduck was worried, I was more than concerned.

"What's the hurry all of a sudden?" Aemii asked as I started to jog through the forest, and I could see the lab come into view through the trees.

"I am worried about one of the other Pokémon, so I will get you to wait with Graves while I go talk to Gallia. You don't mind, right? Or I can send you to go see Misty and Sammy if you want," I explained to Aemii, and she looked up at me with big glassy eyes.

"Do I have to leave you? Can't I come with you?" Aemii asked, and I nodded, my thoughts distracted as the two of us burst from the forest behind professor Oak's Laboratory.