Lonely

36.

Well, they are gone, and here must I remain,

This lime-tree bower my prison! I have lost

Beauties and feelings, such as would have been

Most sweet to my remembrance even when age

Had dimm'd mine eyes to blindness! They, meanwhile,

Friends, whom I never more may meet again,

On springy heath, along the hill-top edge,

Wander in gladness, and wind down, perchance,

To that still roaring dell, of which I told …

(Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 'This Lime-Tree Bower My Prison')

My eyes were lost in the distance, unaware I was playing with the melted ice cream in my tall glass. Even if the shop was crowded with happy families and friends having fun, I couldn't relate.

"Earth to Renesme! Are you still here?" Reka waved her hand in front of my eyes to get my attention. I blinked at her and let out a nervous laugh.

"Sorry," I lowered my eyes to the mess I made out of my vanilla and caramel combo.

"Really, you didn't listen to anything I just said," she sighed.

"I-I'm not really good right now," the guys at the next table burst out into laughter. I peeked at them and then quickly looked away when one of them smiled at me.

"You don't need to be a psychic to see that," she sipped her chocolate milkshake while watching me. "Did he contact you?" I stilled. Something deep inside squeezed. Just mentioning him...even without saying his name made me tense. I pushed my hair away from my face.

"He said he won't," I murmured.

"So... he didn't," she pursed her lips. "That's cruel. Just go out and find yourself someone else," she gestured towards the table with the cheerful guys celebrating whatever happy event they were celebrating. I couldn't help but linger on how easily they could smile. Only weeks went by. But this felt like forever.

"I can't" The same guy with golden hair and baby-blue eyes met my gaze.

"Right," smiled Reka as she noticed our neighbor staring. "I bet you can't. There's no one stopping you," I turned back to her, eyes flat.

"You know I can't. The imprint prevents me from cheating on my mate," I frowned at her. "And I don't want to," she nodded at me with a mischievous grin. I knew what she would say next will make me angry.

"You can't be sure...you need to test it," see, I knew she would blurt out something stupid. Before I could answer a shadow loomed on my left and I lifted my eyes to the guy who has been staring at me from across the table.

"Hi," he grinned. Reka flashed a cute smile while playing with the straw in her milkshake. "Hi girls," he nodded at Reka then turned back to me. He was tall and maybe around 17 or 18. He nervously played with his black and white baseball jacket. He shoved his hands in his pocket to hide his shaky fingers.

"I couldn't help noticing⁠—" loud laughter came from the other table. Catcalls, whistles, and giggles followed. His friends were fooling around. He scratched his hair while blushing. He was cute.

"Well?" asked Reka tilted her head to the side. Reka was an exotic oriental beauty. Tan skin, large brown eyes, long crow black hair. Sexy to death. He cleared his throat ignoring her.

"You're really pretty," I met his eyes. His mouth opened then he closed it.

"I'm also taken, sorry," I added in a flat tone. His face crumbled. There were a lot of boos behind. He lowered his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry for disturbing you, ladies," Reka got to her feet and placed a hand on his chest. He flinched a little shocked by the contact.

"She just got dumped... it's kinda complicated for her, right now," she moved like a cat, one finger tracing the front of his white t-shirt. "But I am free," a seductive smile spread over her face. I knew Reka was not human. But she never said what flavor she was exactly. I wasn't sure that guy was safe around her.

"Reka, just leave the poor guy alone. His mama will be very upset if something happens to him," I said in the same dull voice. She laughed throwing her head back. The sound was like a caress. The guy was shaking. I bet he sensed the danger but couldn't point out why he was scared.

"Right," she rolled the word over her tongue. The guy staggered away back to his table. Completely freaked out. The table went quiet. Furtive gazes darted our way. Too bad we'll have to find another place to hang out. Reka slipped back into the booth with a smirk.

"I just want to go home," I got up. She sighed and grabbed her purse. I hurried to the door, I didn't want to feel those eyes on me. I didn't want to be a freak. I was already feeling dead inside. I didn't need an angry mob pointing fingers at me.

"Sometimes you will need to accept that we are not mortals, right," she said as I reached the sidewalk. I swirled around gasping. Shocked that she just said it aloud in public. She shrugged.

"I'm just stating the truth."

"We can't be shouting it out," I looked around us and lowered my voice. "It's dangerous," I added. She laughed in that luscious voice.

"I like danger," her brown eyes lit up as she said it.