Goodbyes Said and Done

As I apply pressure to my arm, trying to stop the bleeding as the stinging pain just doesn't seem to stop as I lay against Nathaniel's leg.

"Getting shot hurts way more than they make it seem in the movies" I say as I take a deep breath as I release my hand from my wound and the pain starts up again.

"Well if someone didn't have the sudden urge to get shot they wouldn't be bleeding out on the ground" he says as I sigh as I kick him.

"Really?" I ask him as I try and chew through the rope around my hands, "Because without me you'd be as good as road kill. Don't you know never to intimidate the person with a gun? It's not like the movies, nine times out of ten you'll get shot, and you are ten, because I got shot for you!" I say as I angrily throw my tied hands into my lap, with disappointment as I can't chew through it.

"Why did you get shot anyways?" He ask as I sigh at the obvious answer.

"For you?" I answer shortly as he looks at me, almost hypnotized at my lips, waiting for the answer to part from my lips. "I did it because.........your one of the only people I can say cares about me" I admit as I can see his expression slightly grow into a sly smile. "And I didn't want to see you in pain" I admit to him as my eyes meet the floor as I don't want to meet his reaction. Not because I was lying but because I dreaded what was to come out of his mouth next.

"Francesca" he calls my name as I look up towards his eyes and his hands find salvation on my neck and his thumb guiding me to his eyes.

"And you are my savior princess" he says as he closes in the space between us and his lips meet my own. As déjà vu washes over me again but this is the safest I have ever felt. Even though this may be my last hours alive I can't help but find strength in his arms and savior in his kiss.

"Nice to see two little lovebirds in here" Bonnie says as we part and look at her as I keep my eyes focused on the gun she's holding to her side.

As I gulp loudly, down my pain and my fear, "Kill me" I say as she surprisingly turn around to me and laughs.

"No, I know that what you want" she says as she laughs as she yanks me across the floor and pulls the gun to my temple.

"FRANCESCA" Nathaniel yells as I close my eyes and prepare to feel the gust of wind behind the bullet. Invading my skull, something.

"No, that would be to easy" Bonnie says as she grips the gun in her hand, looking like she was all to tempted to shoot me but for whatever reason caught herself. But as she pulled the gun away from my head I found myself being disappointed, not because I had wanted to die but because if she didn't kill me she would have to hurt the only other person in this room.

"But this would more fun for me" Bonnie says as she points the gun at Nathaniel's head as he goes silent and his eyes silently scream for help. He didn't fear the gun itself, he feared his own demise.

"But I have a idea to shake things up" Bonnie says as she walks over to me and hands me the gun. "Do it" she says as I nod my head at her crazy order, she didn't have to explain to me what she wanted my to do.

"No" I utter as she smiles.

"I didn't ask you, it's an order" she says as I inch the gun away from me and give the same answer, "No."

"It's either you do it or I'll make you anyways" Bonnie says as she flips the gun to me as I look down the barrel of the gun in her hand, "I said no" I tell her as her eyes blink with rage.

"Love does crazy things, don't they Virginia? You may not see this now but I'm doing you a favor, he'd drag you down. That is the few more minutes you have on this earth at my mercy. My love of my reputation got me here, and if you don't watch yourself you will find yourself in a casket slightly before him" she tells me as she holds the gun in front of me again.

Was it horrible of me to not even have the thought cross my mind. As I shook uncontrollably with tears streaming down my face. I couldn't bring myself to pick up the gun, not even my pinky finger to stretch to it.

"I said no" I say as I hit the gun away from me as Bonnie frightenedly pulls the trigger and it pierces my heart.

As Bonnie stands above me as I see a slight smile grace her face as she fades away and I feel hands grab me off the floor and pull my close. Feeling like home, but the weight of gravity soon to come crashing down again, like before.

"Nathaniel" I say as my hand caresses his face like it will be the last time I ever will be able to. "This was not how I envisioned it, I'm not very fond of bleeding out" I say as with the blurred lights in my eyes I see blood trailing down my hands, like they had been there before. Not permanent, but a distant visitor that shows you the light in the most impossible ways sometimes, a new, serene, beginning.

"Stay with me" he preaches in a way that lets me know he can already see what's about to come next, as he presses down on my chest and the blood slips through his fingertips and I squint in slight pain. Fighting for my life was something I'd never really thought about, but constantly fighting for others was what I stood for. Mama always called me a gold hearted, always so focused on other but she swore that one day my heart was going to get me into trouble that not even I could get myself out of, maybe she was right about that. As I lay there, bleeding out I couldn't help but think was this my payback? Because if so it wasn't that bad, I never feared death, I always feared not being able to protect others and that changed me.

"Stay with me" Nathaniel whispers as my eyes slowly start to close as I grow paler and the coldness starts from my finger tips and seems to have a aching to travel until it consumed me fully. "Your going to be alright" he encourages me as I smile and he holds my hand in his.

"Don't tell me something not even you believe, I know what's about to happen" I say as I can feel my heart start to slow. "I love you" I say as my grip onto his hand and loosen my grip as my eyes start to close permanently and I see Bonnie behind him and as soon as darkness take over my sight I hear one final gunshot, left to the imagination to guess.

*************************************************

"I already gave her those" I hear as my eyes slowly focus as I feel the grogginess attached to me. "I don't care, sedation is not going to work for long. Figure it out Beck" I hear a man say angrily as he storms out of the hallway and I hear someone approaching my door.

A hospital, it seemed all to familiar for me. The hospital was a second home to me, every hospital visit, meeting with new doctors and treatment it stained me. Each time differently but gave me the knowledge to just know the atmosphere of a simple hospital. But why? Why was I here this time?

As I see nurse strut into my room and mess with my IV as I groggily murmur to her, "My hands? Please help me?" I beg her as she holds me down as I start to panic. Restrained to a bed and flailing as a nurse frantically holds me down.

Maybe it was the stress of not knowing where I was or who I was, but it took over. So there I laid as she held me down and frantically yelled for other as a crowd of nurses ran and a doctor attempt to hold me down.

"STOP!!!" I scream as a doctor injects something into my IV as I slowly loose control and of my body and succumb to the sedative.

I knew where I was this time, the psych ward, and it wasn't the first time.