I sit in my car outside Mom's house, gripping my steering. I stare at the quaint little home nestled somewhere in the middle of Sparrow Road and dread burrows deep. If I walk through those doors, I'll be alone in the house for the first time since Dad's death. The thought is isolating.
Chase left for Pakistan this morning and Mom is spending alone time in a hideaway cabin in the hills. The house will be quiet. And I'll be alone.
Loneliness has been the theme of my life for more days than I can count. I miss Dad. I miss Seth. It gets harder to pin Seth down with a phone call with every passing day. He calls me and I miss it. I call him back and he misses it. By the time we catch each other, he's exhausted and sleeping on the other end of the line before I can ask him how he is. He asks me to join him in every city he lands in, but I haven't had the heart to leave Mom alone, especially now Chase is gone.